#it's not meant to be Discourse(tm) either just like. literally...criticism

[baldinggoat]

I wrote a really long post about playersexuality about a year ago mostly targeting other crpgs, but I updated it a bit and decided to throw it on this blog too. It’s a bit repetitive, and it isn’t perfect, but it’s important to me that I’ve been trying to parse my direct feelings towards the phenomenon for a long time and I wanted to write it out. 

It mostly came from this article/post, and then kind of grew from there. It isn’t a direct criticism of Baldur’s Gate 3 or how Larian studios is writing queer sexuality, but if the shoe fits...well...

First of this all comes from someone with a trans and bi perspective. So it’s all subjective obviously. None of this is about discrediting bisexual characters, but critically analyzing how games depict queer sexuality. I just want more people to understand how playersexuality does hurt gay people who want gay characters, and hurt bi people who want more tangible representation and not a “schrodinger's” bisexuality.

Bisexuality/pansexuality isn’t necessarily being attracted to someone regardless or despite gender. It’s being attracted to more then one gender. Gender does, in fact, matter In relationships. Its frustrating really. My relationship to gender means a lot to me. It’s shaped my whole life. When I want someone to love me, I want them to love me for me AND acknowledge my gender. It’s a part of who I am. I don’t want it to be ignored. I’ve never had the privilege to ignore my gender, and I’ve never had the privilege of other people ignoring it either, since I’m trans. It’s not my only quality, but it’s a big part of my personal story and growth. Whenever I want to date anyone, I always have to have a conversation with them about our sexualities and my gender.

When you make a game with a story about fictional characters, you usually want the audience to care about said characters. You want to make it possible for the audience to empathize with them in some way. But in the end, all they ever will be is the game developer’s IDEA of what a person is, never an actual person. How sexuality and gender are presented in the story is all but an idea of how the game developers want sexuality and gender to be presented to the audience.

The bottom line is this: game companies have incentive for making money first. Game devs rarely care about giving lgbtq people a character that has an experience that the audience can empathize with. The audience that includes cishet people, because when everyone empathizing with fictional lgbtq characters, that’s what gives us “representation”. Because that’s what that actually means. Representation is about speading stories about our experiences being lgbtq to help other lgbtq people know that they aren’t alone, and also that it’s not a bad thing to be lgbtq. Playersexual characters don’t acknowledge that experience in their narrative, they aren’t representation.

And I real human being doesn’t need to tell you their sexuality. An actual gay or bisexual person doesn’t need to disclose anything about their past to “prove” their gay or bisexual. That’s because it’s an invasion of privacy, and when someone does tell you these things its because they trust you. It’s why “coming out of the closet” is something that exists. We are NOT entitled to know these things, yet everyone is assumed straight because that’s what is expected, so telling someone these things is an act of trust. But when it comes to fictional characters, there’s never that invasion of privacy. There’s no need to respect their boundaries, because as an omniscient audience we’re able to see different, imaginary perspectives. A game developer can always give us a clear indication of a character’s sexuality, and they can even do it without the characters stating it (although they should because that helps normalize people talking about their sexuality). It never has to be obfuscated or ignored. If it is obfuscated in some way, it’s because it’s the game developers’ intention. They don’t want to make a character’s sexuality clear and therefore, don’t actually care about lgbtq people.

So you play a videogame. There’s a character who admits they have feelings for the player. This character never talks about the gender of your character when it comes to the relationship. The character also, interestingly enough, never talks about a history of relationships with the same gender or mentions their attraction to the same gender. Even if they do, it’s a one off comment, innuendo, and/or never a full admission, something small that can be missed and ignored without deeper thought. (Also using correct pronouns isn’t acknowledging you’re in a relationship with someone who’s the same gender btw, it’s just common fucking courtesy).

The only way you ever even know that the character even is willing to date the same gender is if your character is there, and willing to date them. If your player character didn’t exist, you would never know this character dates the same gender. It’s schrodinger's bisexuality! The npc’s sexuality is not there unless you, the player, make it a part of your story. It doesn’t belong to the character. I hope that makes sense, because in the end the player is doing all the work for the writers. I also find it extremely unrealistic that in these situations, the characters are in serious romantic/sexual relationships and never talk about their history with dating the same gender, even casually.

What truly makes me sad though is how fandom, especially other bi people, will claim playersexuality as legitimate bisexual representation. It’s truly depressing that videogame writers have been able to find this loophole, use it, and abuse it. It gives game companies, that absolutely do not care about actually representing lgbtq people in their stories, credit where no credit is due. Of course I’m not trying to go after bi fans, and they aren’t wrong to claim these characters are bisexual, because that’s the whole point of calling it schrodinger's bisexuality. I personally don’t think infighting with other fans about whether a character is actually bisexual or not will get anyone anything except a migraine. What I do think, is people should be more critical about how videogame companies are presenting sexuality in their stories, and focus on criticizing that.

Edit: On a personal note, I also hate fandom using playersexuality to try to say the character’s sexuality is up for “interpretation” so they “headcanon” said character as straight or gay. That’s just biphobic. But, when trans/bi/gay people are talking about playersexuality, it’s usually from a more constructive outlook, where we just want the game studios to be held more accountable for erasure. This is also why I prefer the term “schrodinger's bisexuality”. Bisexual when you want them to be, not bisexual when you don’t want them to be.

I know people want the comfort, the ease, and the simplicity that playersexuality brings. I know it’s been used in games for years, and at one time it was the only queer content and representation games had. But times are changing, and game companies need to change. We need actual Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Trans characters, not a schrodinger's bisexuality. If you allow anyone and everyone to be able to romance any character regardless of gender, then you don’t have to worry about straight players being mad a character they want to romance is gay, or lgbt players being upset a character is straight.

Continuing to use playersexuality isn’t an “everyone’s happy” solution to people asking for more gay/bi characters in videogames. It’s obvious this has everything to do with money, since it’s making games viable for a wider audience and not actually giving queer people representation. It’s also painfully obvious when you have so much undeniable m/f that is central to the story.

I know game studios aren't a monolith. I know developing a game is usually convoluted and rarely linear. I also know it’s a company, and there are “layers” of writing, and things tend to go through a grind before they get green-lite. I know there’s never a singular person making decisions how character’s sexuality are depicted, and theres always more going on behind doors we may never know. Maybe game studios using playersexuality are trying to depict more lgbtq representation and some “big man” up top wont let them. But I highly doubt it, and think it has to do with marketability, because this is a product that is on the market.

TL; DR: I’m an annoying transgenderer who’s entitled and believes videogames should cater to me. Making companions/npcs playersexual, especially all of them, is a horrible, lazy, homophobic, and biphobic writing decision. Game companies don’t care about lgbtq people. Support lgbtq people, help donate to lgbtq content creators when you can, and help lgbtq people in fandom feel safe.

Aka Donate to my ko-fi lol