#it's simultaneously validating and infuriating knowing that there's a /reason/ I've been struggling/in pain most of my life
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#chronic illness really does kick my ass at times#I've been sick the past couple of weeks#had to go on antibiotics foe the umpteenth time this year for a upper respiratory infection#have spent the last two weeks mostly in bed#flaring up both my fibro and pots and I'm just-#like living isn't hard enough already with disabilities without adding a sodding infection on top#sorry not meaning to be a downer just argh I need to vent into the void cndnd#it's all been rough tbh#because like I only got certain diagnoses in December and they've basically confirmed I've had these either all my life or most of it#(they're not 100% sure whether I was born with said disabilities and made worse by my trauma#or whether they were /caused/ by my trauma#but they said I was definitely having symptoms at 4/5 possibly earlier I just can't remember that far back)#it's simultaneously validating and infuriating knowing that there's a /reason/ I've been struggling/in pain most of my life#(and not just because I'm not “trying hard enough”)#like I'm glad I finally have more of an idea what's been going on#but also sad because it took 30 years of struggling and being made to feel like I was overexagerating/making it up before someone listened#okay#rant over fjdjsbs
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