#just because there's a legal amount of bug carcasses in your coffee grounds doesn't mean the legal amount isn't TOO FUCKING HIGH | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mappingway · 2 years

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like yes most people enjoy leveling up. most people enjoy this part of the hobby. i get it. but i’m also a fucked up mentally ill ball of yarn. something about leveling up incites some part of my lizard brain and i just crumble.

i don’t know. something about feeling stupid and inadequate and overwhelmed and not knowing where to start. the amount of choices. the amount of reading. i’ve never been someone to plan out an rpg game or “build” characters. i make characters and then am forced to make a build for dnd.

i don’t like building characters. i don’t like choices and pathways and feeling as if “maybe if i had taken x at level 7 i would have been able to help more”. builds don’t inspire joy. they inspire stress.

#my husband literally plans out all his pokemon teams and his fallout characters and his pathfinder PCs #because something about that planning strikes joy for him #it doesn't for me. i hate it. i didn't get into d&d for the crunch.#'but rainbow 5e is the least crunchy system' and?#just because there's a legal amount of bug carcasses in your coffee grounds doesn't mean the legal amount isn't TOO FUCKING HIGH #i don't like it. i've never liked it. i put up with it to exist in the worlds my husband makes and to enjoy companionship.#but no it's not fun for me and for some reason this is like. incomprehensible to other people #i can't be the only person in this hobby who hates builds.#i hate making decisions. i can't even choose supper without trying to bend to someone else's whims #i don't know. i want to wilt.#i just feel so stupid.#maybe i shouldn't be playing.#i don't know.#f: dnd #vent tag #mental health tw #therapy talks

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