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heyhihellosworld · 1 year

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𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝'𝐯𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐈𝐈

Mason Mount x reader + Kepa Arrizabalaga x reader

Word count: 4.5k

Summary: Maybe Kepa isn't the one and maybe feelings can surface, even after fifteen years of friendship

Warnings: Angst, fluff, smut?

Notes: This is a whole mess because I started with so many ideas and landed with cero lol

Grateful for all of you who see and read this! x

When did things become so complicated?

You couldn't say but you knew the exact minute things had changed for the worse, the evening not leaving your thoughts.

The game had just begun again after halftime but it wasn't that interesting, or maybe it was you just couldn't focus with the storm that was raging in your mind. It felt like the storm had been going on for the last month, never calming down and never stopping. It didn't feel like it ever would.

Kepa was between the poles, the only reason you were there watching from the first place. He had done a good game so far and you were proud of him, you really were.

Mason wasn't playing, according to Chelsea he was out with some injury. Not that you would know from him anyway as he hadn't spoken to you since that evening. He had vanished and if you hadn't followed all his teammates and Chelsea on social medias you wouldn't know if he was alive or not. Not that they were providing you with much either way.

Maybe Kepa would tell you if he died but Mason wasn't exactly a topic you spoke about regularly. In all honesty you didn't speak much at all anymore.

You sighed as you felt yourself going into over-thinking mode.

"You-uh what?" you stuttered out, feeling yourself sit down on the floor at the revelation. It was not what you had expected, not at all and it took you with shock.

Mason looked at you intently, watching your every move but he didn't expect you to do or say anything. He just needed to say those words, utter what had been weighing him down for years because it had been too much lately.

He didn't expect you to jump up and say you loved him more than a friend nor did he expect you to kiss him he just needed to let it go once and for all.

You looked up at him with widened eyes making him move his gaze away from you and to the floor.

"Mason" you breathed, feeling a thousand thoughts spinning around your head. "Mason wh-what?"

Mason shook his head, he knew how it was, now he had uttered his thoughts and feelings and now he needed a break. A break to think and stop his feelings from drowning him whole. And that meant a break from you.

"You heard me, I like you. Now it's said so let's forget it and move on"

You had never thought about Mason in any other way than what he was. Mason was Mason, you had never thought about it more than that. He was your childhood friend, your best friend, your comfort and your safety, simply Mason. To label your relationship had never felt necesary which now put you in a hard situation.

You forced yourself to look at the game as the opponents went on pressing again, setting Kepa in action in the Chelsea goal.

Kepa was nice, sweet and hot. There was nothing wrong with him or your relationship, not at all. You loved cuddling with him after his late games, loved eating in the sofa, talking long into the night and the sex was awesome

But

Something had been off. Not with you and not with him but with it all. No matter how many times you had sex or made out he still didn't feel like your boyfriend. He hadn't technically been but he felt more like a friend than anything else. You didn't get butterflies from him like you felt like you should get, he was nice hanging out with and nice to fuck but that was it your feelings didn't go deeper than that.

The last two, three weeks had been a bit different too. Kepa had been off a lot since he had been traveling to Germany and had matches every three days but you felt like it was probably a good thing. Stuff had been rough and it had made you realize that you didn't like the basque in a romantic way.

It had ended quietly and peacefully one late evening at his place after a game at the bridge. Both of you confessing it wasn't working out in a romantic way and that had been it.

You weren't exactly sad it had ended because you had barely dated him but it did leave you even lonelier and even though you had both agreed on staying friends it wasn't like he was with you all the time.

You still couldn't really wrap your head around it, how would you handle this all if Mason some day decided he wanted to be your friend again. How did you act around someone who you knew liked you? Would he ever want to be your friend again or was that too hard now?

You breathed the thoughts away, you didn't even know how Mason was thinking so no need to stress one step ahead.

It felt almost like a bad joke thinking about these past few weeks. Only some weeks away you were over the moon over Kepa at your and Mason's regular movie-night, you had laughed eaten and cuddled up on the couch like always and now. Now you had broken things with Kepa and Mason, but the latter more involuntarily.

You wanted to scream at yourself for the negative thoughts spinning around you head, the thoughts never ending and it made you go crazy.

The game had ended, what a well spent hour and a half, not even looking at the game but being too wrapped in your own head. You cursed yourself as you looked at the scores, 2-1. Chelsea had done one goal but you hadn't paid attention enough to see who had done what.

You sighed, running your fingers through your hair in a stressed manner as the arena started to move. The fans starting to exit whilst the player greeted each other and thanked the fans who had came to watch.

Your heart almost fluttered out of your chest as you saw a familiar head of hair walking onto the pitch. Applauding the fans and shaking hands with some of the opponents. Your eyes followed him like he was a fridge and you had magnets for eyes.

He hadn't played but apparently been sat on the bench. He smiled softly as he went around in the arena, his eyes moving over the stands.

His eyes suddenly met yours, probably feeling stared out which he was. His lips pulled up in a small smile as he watched you before walking out the tunnel and to the changing rooms.

You felt like crying as his hair dissapeared, your heart wanting to run down to catch him before he left but your mind stopped you, knowing it wouldn't be the smart thing to do.

You stood at Kepa's car, waiting for him to emerge from the changing room as you had promised to hang out with him and a couple of his friends after the game. You would usually wait outside of the changing room but since Mason would be there and he had made it pretty obvious that he didn't want to see you right now, that he needed a break you wanted to respect that.

Stood outside you regretted your choice bitterly, it was fucking freezing outside and you were freezing your ass off as you stood there and waited for the basque who took forever.

"If you're styling your hair in there i'm gonna fuck you up" you muttered into the darkness, picturing the Spaniard standing there with his stupid brush, not knowing you stood here dying.

"What did you say?"

You thought you had a heart-attack for a second, yelping out as the dark shadow approached you, squinting to be able to see in the darkness

You took a deep breath "Fucks sake! What the hell" you scolded, hearing the guy chuckle as he came into eyesight.

You felt yourself choke as you saw Mason looking down at you, your bain racking for something to say.

"Uh-a-I-"

He shook his head with a lopsided smile, stopping on a appropriate distance from you.

"Hey" he smiled, your smile mirroring his as you returned the greeting.

"I didn't know you were in the squad tonight" you admitted, watching him shake his head "Don't dwell on it, you should't have to avoid places you love because of me"

You shook your head promptly, "No I don't need to but I want to respect you and your feelings"

His soft eyes smiled down at you, his hands in his pockets as he rolled on his heels.

"Is that why you are standing here in the cold?"

You nodded, pursing your lips as a shiver ran through you from the cold.

"Come on, let's wait in my car" Mason offered, nodding at his car only a few meters away and you more than gladly jumped into the familiar vehicle.

He quickly started the car and turned on every heat button possible as you shook, trying to get yourself warm

"You're really stupid you know?" Your eyebrows raised in mocked hurt "excuse me?" "Standing outside in this weather isn't exactly smart" he grinned, your heart constricting at his beautiful smile.

Mason felt at peace talking to you again. Seeing you on the stands didn't make his heart tug, it made him smile. He had missed you terribly, not being used to not hear and be with you everyday.

"Yeah yeah, slander me for trying to be nice" you huffed, loving the smile you pulled from him yet again.

"What are you even doing here?"

"Waiting for Kepa" you shrugged, immediately noticing the change in the atmosphere as you mentioned his teammates name.

"Right, I forgot" he muttered through clenched teeth, making it clear he had never been as okay with you dating his teammate as he had made out to you in the beginning.

"Mason-" you begun but he shook his head harshly "No no, it's fine"

You sighed, tempted to roll your eyes at the stubborn man beside you but you restrained yourself from it "Me and Kepa, we are not together anymore, well we were never officially together, has Kepa not told you?"

Mason blinked at you, swallowing hard, almost looking embarrassed as he fiddled with his chain "to be honest i may have avoided Kepa lately" he confessed, your eyes not being able to stop from rolling this time. "Why-why are you not?"

You shrugged, meeting his startled gaze. "We gave it a try but neither of us felt romantic feelings towards each other so we decided to just stay friends instead"

Mason nodded in understanding, not being able to hide the relief that washed over his body, his eyes swimming over and shoulders relaxing. "I'm sorry" he forced out

You scoffed before chuckling at him, resting your head against the neck of the seat. "Sure you are Mase"

Mason didn't answer but his grin told you everything you needed to know.

A soft silence settled in the car as he fiddled with the heat buttons before he broke it, his voice soft as he spoke

"Ben is having a get-together on Wednesday, do you want to come?"

Your eyes met his face, his eyes staring down on his hands, hair messy over his eyes. He really needed a haircut soon, his stubble had also grown noticeable since the last night you'd seen him

You nodded, humming softly "Yeah sure, as long as this come from you"

He nodded, meeting your eyes with tenderness "maybe it could be the re-start?" You smiled, feeling like you would explode with happiness "I will be there" you nodded, looking as his face lit up before turning to look out the window, he looked utterly gorgeous in the late light.

"Kepa is here" Mason announced snapping you out of your thoughts, "Text me the details?" you asked as you climber at the car "sure"

"Oh and y/n?"

You turned back to look at him again, a questioning expression on your face "yes?"

"Nice shirt"

You laughed, turning your back to him to show it properly, it was your Mason shirt you had gotten last season with the new design. "I know right"

The grin he gave you in return was etched in your mind for the rest of the evening.

You felt almost nervous as you stood outside of Ben's gigantic house. You pursed your lips before opening the door. Last time you had been here everything had changed but now it didn't feel like it could be any worse than that time.

The night was very similar last time you'd been at Ben's, the boys playing fifa and joking around. The only difference was that this time you weren't hooked on Kepa. You were more a part of the group and specifically you hung out a lot more with Mason.

Mason, sweet Mason sat beside you, murmuring in your ear all the gossip and fun stuff you'd missed out on. He had missed you just as much as you'd missed him and he was giving his all to catch up, make you feel like old times again.

He would never loose feelings for you but he had time to think and now it didn't feel like he wanted to die every time he saw you. It stung, but he didn't wanna die and that was enough because he loved you too much to let you go. Even if all he could ever be was your friend he would take it.

"Did you know Ben hooked up with that girl last week?" Mason hummed, eyes glistening as he gossiped about his friends.

"Hey, stop telling on me" Ben whined from the other side of the couch, giving Mason a bad glare "You did?! Wow this is huge news Ben, finally getting laid huh?"

Ben's eyes rolled "You know what, I haven't missed you at all actually"

"Hey, that's mean Benji" you pouted, trying to keep a straight face at his unimpressed expression but you failed miserably.

Mason was a sweetheart all evening, making sure you had nice company, made sure you got the food you wanted, got you drinks and drove you home when the time had come. It felt like nothing had happened and you knew it took a lot of him but the fact that he did it meant the world to you.

"Thank you Mase, it was really sweet of you" you smiled softly at him, locking eyes with him as he parked outside of your flat. "Don't worry" he smiled, bidding goodbye as you hurried up the stair, your heart fluttering as you catched his smile as you waved him goodbye.

His eyes sparkled as he waved up the stands, he looked genuinely happy and it warmed up your heart, making you feel happy for him. Finally things started to look clearer again, Mason's career looked bright, he got to play regularly and he seemed to be enjoying it for real. The smile never leaving his lips as he went around thanking the fans at Stamford bridge who had cheered them on their first win in what felt like forever.

You caught yourself smiling like an idiot as he waved up at you, your heart stuttering as he looked at you.

The last couple of weeks had been amazing. Mason had kept on his words to restart what had been a little fallout and it felt like nothing had happened. The more days that went the more you liked the British joker. He spent more and more time with you and soon it was regular again, it felt natural and normal, the old habits coming back. Your feelings grew and grew but it felt like they never stopped growing, growing stronger everytime you laid your eyes on him, your heart fluttering and a smile forming on your face. It went beyond frienship and that scared the shit out of you.

He looked at you as you fixed with the tv, changing to Netflix and getting cozy on the sofa. When you met his gaze he smiled at you, his lips tugging upwards in an warm loving smile. "What?" you giggled, watching him shake his head and raise his hands "no nothing"

You giggled as he plopped down next to you, his arms immediately wrapping around you and keeping you close, your head resting on his chest.

You tilted your head up to him as you felt him watching you again, his soft eyes almost catching you off guard. It felt like you were drowning in his eyes, swimming in the emotions he displayed so openly.

It felt like magnets were pulling you closer until his nose bumped yours but then insecurities took over him. His eyes looked hesitant, scared to move forward. You smiled softly at him, your hand landing in the nape of his neck, gently pushing him down in a soft sweet kiss.

His lips moved slowly, softly and almost carefully against yours, savoring the moment as you let yourself go, melting into him. One kiss turned to two, three and soon the tv was long forgotten as he kissed you more intensely, no longer scared to cross a line as you made it pretty obvious what you wanted.

When you didn't have any air left in your lungs you pulled away, resting your forehead against his, thumb stroking his cheek affectionately as he gazed into your eyes.

He looked conflicted, like he didn't know what to feel or say. "Tell me what you're thinking" you begged. "I'm thinking I don't know what just happen, I-I thought you didn't like me more than a friend"

"I didn't"you answered, seeing him wavering "But I don't know, these last couple of weeks I have gotten other feelings, strong feelings. Like when I look at you I get butterflies, when we kissed right now it felt like I was gonna explode" you tried to explain, his face-expression impossible to read.

"So, you have feelings for me? More than a friend?"

You nodded slowly, looking at him apprehensively, "I don't know how you feel but I-"

He cut you off with his lips on yours you immediately answering it, tongues intertwining, hands grabbing at each-other both on the line to desperate but it didn't matter anymore.

"Hii Ben" you smiled, hugging him as he led you into the living room. Mason was right behind you, his hand on the small of your back as he walked behind you, listening to what Ben was telling you about as you stepped into the living room, greeting the others.

You felt Masons hand grip your waist tightly as you hugged Kepa, smiling as you turned back to your boyfriend, kissing his cheek with a teasing grin.

Mason guided you to the sofas where the rest of the guys were sitting. Kai had his girlfriend Sophia next to him but other than that it was only the boys, all you'd met before.

It was easy to be with them, all kind, funny and welcoming. Nothing felt awkvard or stiff. You did feel a bit awkvard though sitting next to Mason, because you didn't know how you should act with him in front of his friends. It had been almost two months now since you'd kissed for the first time and after that everything had just moved on, smoothly and quickly.

You'd decided to give it a go which was both terrifying and amazing. It scared you to not know what would happen if Mason suddenly stopped feeling for you, what if he had thought about it so much he had became hung up on it but when you made it to reality it wasn't that fun?

You worried and Mason knew that but he also knew that his feelings wouldn't stop. He wasn't hung up or obsessed with the thoughts but he truly loved you and that wouldn't change overnight. It was a scary step to get over but he had never been happier.

The discussion about you as a couple hadn't been long, you had just went with it, tried it and felt it out without too much discussion and questions. That had worked really well but that meant that you hadn't discussed about publicity. Did he want to be open in front of his friends or act like you were just friends? Did he want to sneak around or go about?

Mason's hand on your thigh snapped you out of your thinking, you quickly flashing a smile at his frown. "Are you okay?"

The words were low in your ear, his closeness making you shiver as you nodded "I'm fine" you smiled as convincing as you could.

He nodded, giving you a small glint between narrow eyes which made you laugh. His arm came behind you, pulling you closer to him which pulled a smile to your face.

Something you loved about Mason and always had done was his ability to read situations and people. He knew what you needed or what the situation needed without a single word.

He declined playing the first round of FIFA for the night and instead opted to sit and talk with you, Kai and Sophia who had also turned down the offer. Mason seemed to have no problem at all behaving around his friends but you still felt stiff. You overthought every move you did and every word you said.

Soon it felt unberable, like it was to stiff and awkvard but you couldn't make sense of how you should behave. When the boys went out to the kitchen to fetch some more drinks Mason took the opportuinty to ask you again, demanding the real answer.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he hummed, his eyes staring into you making it feel like he was looking through you. "Yeah I'm sure" you tried but you already knew you wouldn't be able to crawl out of this one without telling him the truth.

"Y/n" he repeated, tearing a groan out of you to which he chuckled. "Fine, I feel awkvard as hell, okay?"

"No not okay, why? I thought you liked them? Do you want to leave?" Your head shook, smiling at his concerned face "I do like them it's not them that make me awkvard it's us"

"Us?" he asked in confsuion, a small tension growing in his chest

"Not us us but... ugh" you groaned "I don't know how to act around your friends" you finally admitted, making his worry melt away and a small smile making it's way on his face instead.

He looked at you, prompting you to elabrotate your thoughts.

"Well I dont know, I mean we agreed to try this but we never talked about others. I don't know how to act around the others because I don't know what you want"

"I still don't get it" Mason admitted making you groan out a chuckle at your bad explaining skills.

"I don't know if you want us to act like friends, if you want us to behave like a couple or what you want and it makes me stiff as fuck"

Mason's smile made you frown, not liking the way he found your misery amusing. "Don't worry so much" he tried but you scoffed "I suck at being social, you know that"

Masons laughter echoed in the room, lightning you up "Don't hang yourself up on it, you don't have to hide anything because we are trying a relationship and we are both serious about it so why would you even think to hide it"

"I don't know, we haven't talked about it" you muttered, looking down in your lap. "I know we haven't but we are both serious about this, right?" "Of course"

"Then there is nothing to hide" he smile, his fingers tilting your ching up so you looked him in the eyes. His lips met yours softly, catching you off guard at first but soon you melted into him. Kissing him back with a small smile on your lips, feeling the worries melt away.

"Okay okay" Ben gagged out as they walked into the room again "enough"

All of them were grinning at you, wiggling their eyebrows and making your face flush. Head turning away from them to contain your embarassement

"Aww did you get shy now?" Ben mocked you, teasingly smiling at you, giving you the impression he already knew about this.

"Stop being an ass Ben" Mason scolded his friend but he still smiled, finding amusement in your flushed face. "Let her be" Sophia scolded, flicking Ben away

"When did this happen?" Reece smiled politely, breaking the teasing "Uh, two months ago?" Mason hummed, giving you a small squeeze as you gained your cool back.

"Are you together?"

"Is that the hottest you kissed?"

"Have you fucked?"

Your eyes widened at Ben's question, spread laughter filling the air as you hid your face again, not being able to take this awkvardness

"Ben fuck off!" Mason chuckled, hugging you into him "It's so fun to make her that flustered" he argued, your eyes glaring at him.

"Not to be rude or anything but wasn't you just with Kepa?" Christian asked, your eyes fleeting away again as Mason gave him a stern look but luckily Kepa answered for you

"Nah man it was nothing serious and we ended it a couple of months ago"

Your eyes sent him a thankful look which he only smiled at, making sure you knew it was fine. You had told him about Mason after you'd kissed him for the first time, feeling you owed it to him after everything and he had only been happy for you, telling you about a girl he had met in Spain when visiting the last month making it easy to maintain friends.

No more questions was asked and the boys went back to chatting, laughing, drinking and eating as someone had ordered take-away.

"See, it's all fine" Mason smiled, your eyes slimming "Except for Christian thinking I go through the group" you hummed, his eyes turning soft "He didn't mean it like hat and even if, it dosen't matter, does it? Me and you both know that it isn't like that"

You smiled, nodding at him "Thank you Mase"

His smile mirrored yours, lips coming to meet yours again in a sweet kiss, going in for another Ben interrupted again "Come on guys, no no no"

"Just don't look you sensitive ass" Mason joked, pecking your lips once more before pulling you into him, thumb gently stroking your hip as you smiled contently at him.

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@xjval @sessgjarg

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