#kuroo: YOU KILL PEOPLE?? THAT'S NOT JSUSTICE

[hollypastl]

kuroo’s s/o is an assassin

oh my lord this is such a guilty pleasure right here

- you guys meet while you’re both at university. he’s majoring in chemistry and you’re just trying to get your damn degree so you can stop killing people for a living, but GedEd’s. Am i right?? You two are partnered up in chemistry 101 or whatever. He thinks it’s the most interesting thing in the world and you couldn’t care less. unless the professor started teaching them how to make acids that could dissolve bodies, but that was a long shot.

- your boss gives you a job one day that requires you to have a date as a cover. you would just partner up with another person from your agency, but you don’t want to split the cash.

- you ask kuroo out on a date to some fancy wedding (where you have to kill the groom) and you pass it off as a casual thing.

- he’s so psyched. he was trying to think up some way to ask you out but you went and did it for him. He just loves your dry humor and how you always seem to know how to handle every situation.

- the wedding goes great! You establish your cover as a distant cousin of the father of the bride (the father of the bride who wants you to kill his not-so-future son-in-law) and kuroo as your date. You lure the groom into one of the closets of the hotel where the wedding’s at and slit his throat, careful to not get any blood on your dress. Luckily you wore red. Just in case.

- you’re careful to set kuroo’s watch back five minutes and ask him what time it is, so he can be your alibi if the police do try and question you. They don’t. You two stick around until the police are done getting everyone’s statements and then leave. You don’t say much because anything that comes out of your mouth is bound to be cold and detached. Wouldn’t want him becoming suspicious.

- the next class, he makes a morbid joke about that wedding being a hell of a first date. It’s the first time you’ve actually found one of his stupid jokes genuinely funny.

- he asks you out on a real date. you freak out internally. You can’t date people. you kill people for a living. that is not girlfriend material. 

- He notices. He revises. he would like to hang out as friends. That sounds better to you. You had friends. You could do friends.

- You two are friends. There are a few close calls where it seems like he’s pushing for more, but you two never get past harmless flirting. It goes on like that for a couple months.

- everything goes to hell when you two are at an event for your college one night and you barely manage to dodge a bullet. You grab the gun from your attacker and shoot him in the knee, spinning around slowly and crouching low, scanning for other attackers. You can’t see anyone else in the vicinity, but you can hear gunshots outside. you’re wondering whether or not the guy trying to kill you just now was targeting you directly or if she was just another civilian and this was some sort of terrorist act.

- you rip the bulletproof vest off your attacker and toss it to Kuroo, who is relatively calm for someone who had no idea what was going on. Everyone else nearby was running for the exits like chickens with their heads cut off and he’s just staring at you with an odd look on his face.

- “Who are you?” he asks.

- you don’t know how to respond to that. you just tug him along to somewhere safer