#leaves and never looks back than so fucjing be it i dont care

[h3arts4harry]

- privilege -

- one - two -

warning: angst, throwing up, urm idk lmk

-

part two:

-1 month later- "nick just fuck off" "no chris, you cant just mope around all the time, fuck why did she have to fucking-" "FUCKING WHAT? WHAT NICK? SPEAK TF UP. YOU ALWAYS HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY EVEN WHEN YOU KNOW JACKSHIT" "THEN TELL ME CHRIS TELL ME CAUSE ALL I KNOW IS SHE FUCKED AROUND THEN FOUND OUT" chris bit his lip, tears welling up in his eyes. he didn't reply, he just shook his head and rushed to his room locking the door behind him, he slid his back down the cold surface, his fingers tangling in his hair as he silently cried.

"im sorry chris…i shouldn't've blamed her i know, i just hate seeing you so.." nick trailed off, he had followed chris down to his room, he heard the lock click so he didn't bother trying to open the door, he simply just sat leaning against it. "please chris just open the door i didn't mean it" nick can hear muffled sniffles through the door, he lets out a defeated breath standing up, as hes about to walk back up the stairs he hears the click of the lock, then chris opens the door a little. nicks heart breaks at the sight of his youngest brother, his eyes red and puffy, a few stray tears still falling down his face. he says nothing, bringing him into a tight hug. as soon as chris feels the warmth of his brother he breaks down. "its okay, let it out, im here" nick whispers in his ear, not letting go.

-2 months later- chris still hasn't left the house and nick and matt had tried just about everything, they no longer knew what to do. "chris im going target, come with?" matt asked through his younger brothers door "no" chris mumbled, pulling the bedsheets to fully cover his head matt opens the door, "that's it im not taking no for an answer, get your ass out of bed" he crosses his arms against his chest "matt go away" can be barely heard through the covers "nope, its been two months chris, she wouldn't want yo-" "yea well shes not fucking here to do anything is she-" he voice breaks, cutting his own words off "chris.." after a moment of silence matt speaks up again "cmon man, please we dont even have to go anywhere lets just go on a drive yea?" he speaks softly sitting next to his heartbroken brother, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. chris tenses but quickly relaxes and nods "fine.." he mumbles, getting up and slipping on his crocks "lets grab nick and we'll leave" "mhm" once nick gets to the bottom of the stairs he engulfs his brother in a warm hand, matt soon joining in. they stand there for a moment before walking downstairs, getting into their car and heading out into the night.

chris's heart still hurt but the combinations of fresh air, his favourite music, and his loving brothers really helped. he didn't know if he could ever get over y/ns death, it would always be a part of him, but he knew it would get better for him. they all knew theyd be just fine.

-

happy ending:

"no y/n. i dont wanna hear about you suffering anymore. i- i cant." "NO NO PLEASE CHRIS NO WAI-" the small beeps were deafening.

chris let out a shaky breath, lowering the phone from his ear. the sound of her voice begging through the phone repeating in his head. he sat there staring at her contact on his phone for what felt like 2 minutes but when he glanced at the time in the top left corner an hour had gone by. he looked at his notifications, one sticking out more than the others.

'loml<3'

fucj ypi

in dorry

cgris

his heart dropped, he suddenly felt violently sick to his stomach about what he had said. he knew she was struggling, and as much as he was too he would do anything for her. he rushed upstairs, swiping matts keys off the counter and ran back downstairs into the garage. he knew this was stupid, he knew he couldn't drive but he didn't care, the only thing he could thing about was y/n. he started the car and reversed out the garage. he had y/ns location still, she never turned it off, he put the address in his maps and sped off.

he pulled up outside the house. he quickly jumped out the car running inside, he looked all around the house before seeing a body laying in the grass outside. his heart sank, yet he could feel his heartbeat in his head. he pushed through crowds of people, eventually reaching her side. his shaky hand reaches out to her shoulder, the girls jumps, shrinking into a ball.

"y/n" chris breaths out, her head shot up, she instantly turns around sitting up looking at the boy "chris?" he felt his heart shatter in his chest, her makeup smudged, tears running down her red puffy face, her whole body trembling. he sat there for a moment staring at her before wrapping her in a tight hug. "chris i dont-" y/n mumbles, she leans back a little before throwing up over the grass next to them. "fuck, cmon y/n lets get you home" he says standing up, lifting her with him. her legs shake, almost giving out from under her, noticing this chris swiftly lifts y/n wrapping her legs around him. she instantly drops her head in the crook of his neck.

they finally get back to chris's house to see an angry but more worried nick and a very very angry matt. y/n was on the brink of falling asleep, chris had tried his hardest to keep her awake the whole way home. as chris stepped out the car, he felt the stares of his brothers.

"chris what the fuck?!" nick shrieked as chris made his way to the passenger car door. "you two can yell all you want at me once ive helped y/n." he dryly states, picking up y/n and walking past the boys into his room.

the two knelt at the toilet, "cmon y/n i know it hurts but we gotta get it all out" chris says rubbing his hand up and down her back, "i-i cant it hurts to much i cant do it" she cries dropping her head onto her arm laying on the edge of the toilet seat. "im sorry baby but we gotta get it all out" he brings his fingers to her mouth, "open up baby" she tiredly complies opening her mouth.

chris had managed to get up as much as he could. y/n was practically falling asleep on his shoulder as he lifts y/n bringing her to his bed, he changed her out of her clothes and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and one of his shirts before tucking her into his bed. he ran upstairs and grabbed a couple bottles of water and some pain relief before going back down placing it all on the nightstand next to y/n. he stood there watching the sleeping girl for a good 10 minutes before his phone went off.

'matty b'

upstairs now.

he sighed, looking back at y/n once more before making his way upstairs to see matt leant against the kitchen counter looking at his phone and nick sat at the table. chris cleared his throat walking over standing at the end of the table.

"hi.." "so are you going to explain what the actual fuck were you doing or are you just gonna stand there looking dumb?" "i-i wasn't thinking, i mean i was but only about getting to y/n. i- im sorry" "anything could've happened, do you know how fucking dangerous that is?" "i know i know, im sorry im really fucking sorry, i just.. i just couldn't" chris sighs as he racks his brain for the right words, nothing fitting exactly what he was thinking or feeling. nick looks over to matt who is looking at the floor, his unreadable expression worrying him "matt?" "hm?" matt lifts his head facing nick nick gives him a look 'say something' matt bites his bottom lip taking in a breath before turning to chris "i dont even know what to say to you right now" chris drops his head looking at his feet matt stays silent before speaking up again "im not quite sure what ran through your head. as much as we joke around i know your not actually a idiot. but this was the most stupidest thing you've ever done, not only did you put your own life in danger, you also y/ns life and other peoples lives" "matt-" "im not done. i may not know the severity of the whole situation but im telling you now chris if you ever do some dumb shit like that again i swear to god- i dont even know what id do" chris just nods at his brothers words

"chris?" a soft voice is heard from behind them, they all turn to see y/n stood at the top of the stairs, her arms wrapped around herself. matt and nicks heart skip a beat, its like they dont even recognise the girl infront of them, the girl who used to be their best friend. y/n can feel the stares but ignores them, "whats up baby" chris says walking over loosely wrapping his arms around her "can you come to bed i- i cant sleep" she swallows looking from the floor to his eyes, "yea course, let me just finish talking to nick and matt and ill be down okay?" y/n nods and heads back down the stairs. chris turns to the boys and before he can say anything nick speaks up "its fine, go" matt nods once agreeing with nick.

it was a struggle but y/n slowly got better. over the next 2-3 years y/n had relapsed a total of 6 times, but she always went back to chris filled with regret and guilt and he helped her back on her feet, he was always there for her, no matter what. matt and nick helped a bunch in y/ns recovery, they were always there for her, especially when chris was out or busy (which wasn't a lot). y/n constantly found ways to thank them whether it was with words or gifts, both handmade and bought(mainly handmade), shed always say that if it weren't for them, shed probably be dead.

-

ppl asked, i delivered.

sorry if its shit or dont make sense i did this in like 2 hours and havent rlly read through it properly lol

THANK YOU FOR READING

LOVE U HOES

taglist:

@m0r94n @sturnzsblog @junnniiieee07 @chrisgetsmewetterxo @raysmayhem-72 @sturniolo-slvt @mattspolitank @cerismorismo @chrispotatos

@sturniolosweetheart33 @vals-blogxo

[mirtifero]

I dont typ e it because i lack the emergy ans my head hirts. Funnn fun fun fun fun i want to kill myself i wished i was dead isnt it funnt isnt it so fucking funny i love saying that bevause it doesnt feel serious right everyone feels rhat everyone doed ! Why would you care if i said i was going to kill myself. Im a hysteric little bitch an annoying ass teenager i think too much i live in my own dumb world and jmahine things tjay arw nkr eeal ams make everyone angrynat em and eberuone LEAVES Isnt that funy isnt it. It is funny it has to be. Kt need s to be funnt. Im hysteric and thats why no one tales me seirlusly . If i wastn tlike this people would take me seriously. Ah yes thank you for your interesting imput nook ineed to say it like a weird bitch i cannot be normal for fucjs asake i thi k im always rigth i thing k im always correct and i al2aus always need everyothing to be funnt and good and everything has to have hope i. Jt because it NEEDS to because otherwise i will DIE. the ghosts of people who left because thwy couldnt care leas about ne haunt me and j think abkut them coming back and laughing at me all the time. Everyone laughts at me. Its so easy to laugh at someone whk wants to be funny all the time. Isnt it funny. I find it funnt. Im laughing rght now. Shsoukd ng i?every noght i dream i cant speak i cant breathe i cant move and everuone laughs at me and everyone thisnks im crazy. And every dream i see people loving me and laughing bevause they KNOW they wont coome backk they are GONE . I cant do anything right

Its been 24 days since winter break statterx. 24 days. 24 days and i STILL FWEL LIKE THIS. I STILL FEEL LIKE THIS. AJBQQNBS ISNT IT AMAZING. ????? . GOD IM SO STUPID.

Im just on my period oh im just a teenager oh itll pass im justt FINE. EVERYONE feels like this. Everyone has a perdect body and perfwct everything and looks in the mirror and feels like a hysteric ugly weak bitch and thinks why am I even trying. I habe what? More than a year clean. Provavly more than one year and a half. And i still dream about cutting myself in front of people i think about BEGGING to be listened to I dream of BEGGING to be HEARD.

But my psychologist is right everything is OKAY

I'm just a teenager.

It will go away

I need to wait

I need to wait

I' normal im just like any other girl.

Perhaps as hysteric as any other girl. As fake as any other. Im just like the ones who bullied and abused me.

I just need to wait

EVERYONE feels like this. EVERYONE commits suicide in most of their dreams. EVERYONE is horrified and thinks about how everyone is going to leave them. EVERYONE WANTS TO DIE. AND EVERYONE. EVERYONE. IS STUPID AND WILL NEVER EVER EVER EVER BE LISTENED TO BECAUSE THEY ARE A HYSTERIC PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT WHO CANT DO ANYTHING RIGHT AND IS JUST EMBARRASSING AND EMBARRASSING AND A LITTLE KID WHOS EMBARRASSING TO EVERYONE AND I AM JUST TROUBLE AND I AM just. I just. I wanted to have just died back then. I wanted to have just died before I discovered that life can be better. I didn't need hope. I feel forever tired. No amount of winter breaks will fix this. No growing up will. And if it will I'll kill myself for it. Because it's just too embarrassing to lie. And I'm not lying. I'm not. I'll kill myself. I'll kill myself if I was lying. I'm not lying. I'm not exagerating im not being dramatic im not im not im not i just want people to HEAR me. I just want to be heard. Please. Please . Please. Please. Im so sorry. Please. Please. I hate myself and all that i get embarrassed for. I hate evrything i am. I hate how i cant seem to do anything. Im a liar. Im a liar im a dirty liar. Please. Please.

[hunbomb]

roommate! jaemin

i hope u guys like this one! i do :) 

warning: not proofread LMAO

jaemin: a huge flirt

like we been knew sis okay bUt its not like it defines him ya kno??? like yes he is a flirt but its not like he does it purposely

however that doesn’t stop every single girl from liking him

except for u cause you’re ~not like other girls~

jk you are 

cause who wouldn’t find na jaemin attractive?? tf???

okay but like the dealio between you and jaemin is that you are best friends 

and you have a fat crush on him (u have since the beginning of highschool LOL)

luckily for you, although jaemin is a flirt, he isnt interested in any girls so he doesnt bring any to your dorm

and even if he did, he would tell u because it would be shitty not to 

anyway

so u met in grade nine and yalls friendship popped TF off right away like you joined nomins duo and made it a trio in the span of 4 months and everyone was like???? this mf got that close to them that fast???? mastery

jeno was like ur brother from another mother fr

you and him told eachother everything and sometimes he would tell you things he wouldnt even tell jaemin. like everyone has those people that although theyre close w, there are some things you’d never tell and that goes for jeno and jaemin

jaemin never told jeno he listens to taylor swift

and jeno never told jaemin that he watched all of my little pony friendship is magic on netflix

but since you and jeno shared some personal things w eachother, you obviously told him about your crush on jaemin

and since you had a crush on jaemin, you never got like super super close with him just cause ur feels got in the way 

mainly just you never got as close to jaemin as you did jeno

sure you were bffs, but it wasn’t on such an intimate level

cause everytime jaemin would look your way you’d be gasping for air

so timeskip to senior year

everything is great

your friendship is still strong af and you guys are all planning for post secondary

jaemin and you get into the same uni right.... and jeno gets into the one the town over so your friendship wont take that much damage

but!!! jaemin wants to room with you!!! and ur like!! fucufejdsk!!!

cause like ofc you want to who wouldnt????? but you have such a massisve crush on him you dont want it to get in the way of not only yours but also jaemins university experience

you say yes tho and next thing you know youre unpacking all your stuff

the dorm is kind of small like there isnt a lot of space,,,,, theres two bedrooms but the beds literally take out the whole room HAHHAHA and then there is a chill space with the kitchen connected and u and jaemin have to share a washroom LOL

“jaemin what the FUCK did you eat??? beans??? i bet it was beans this shit smells so bad i-”

“it really do be ya own friends sometimes” -jaemin 2020 :((((((

anyway so like university life is good you and jaemin invite jeno over every weekend for a sleepover and vice versa its so cute GAH

but like,,,, here’s where the drama comes in

one day you are facetiming jeno and youre telling him about how you really like jaemin and blah blah ya know the usual

and youre not really looking at the screen cause youre doing your homework and focusing on that but jeno sees in the back that jaemin has fully entered the room

and you dont notice cause hes silent and your still talking but jeno is trying to get your attention UDHSJIA

and when he does you see in your part of the screen jaemin just,,,, standing there

cue you ending the call with jeno SO FAST and turning around like oH i thought you had classes right now?

“.... they ended early”

“i see” ://////////

you like get up super fast and just walk around him and go into your roomm shutting the door 

poor jaemin is just like “what”

cause to be honest he never really considered this situation ever happening yah he thought you were prettier than most girls and he liked the way you were able to talk to people so easily but he never would have thought you harboured feelings for him

so he kind of just leaves it be cause he knows that you def dont want to talk about it and is willing to wait for you to be the one who brings it up

so time skip to dinner youre both just eating in silence but you dont like it,,,

“what i said was true” you say and jaemin looks up and he knows where this convo is going but he lets you speak

“i didnt ever plan on telling you because i really like our friendship but i guess i wasn’t careful enough”

your heart is beating hella fast but you try to look unbothered and its going pretty good until jaemin asks you something

“how long have you felt this way?”

OKAY like it shouldnt be a big deal to tell him bc you already exposed yourself but for some reason that question just hit you deep cause you realized that youve liked him for so long and he never felt the same ya know

“i dont know,,, since the start of highschool? when we became friends i always thought you were cute and it just turned into a full blown crush”

jaemin just sort of nods in response “oh okay”

so that night your just laying in your bed full of regrets

you know things are about to be super duper awkward between you and jaemin and you wish it didnt have to be like that

so over the next couple of weeks its more awkward than it has ever been before and the sleepovers with jeno seem so divided 

its either jeno and you or jeno and jaemin its never the three of you anymore :((((((

jaemin isn’t ignoring your feelings though, dont worry! hes just trying to sort his out

because your confession kind of opened his eyes

he doesnt want to force himself to like you but he cant help but admit that when he first heard you talking about your feelings a huge warmth spread through his chest and he may or may not have uncovered some feelings

these feelings were always there but he suppressed in grade nine cause he thought you’d never like him and you just wanted to stay friends

so he pushed them down and never thought about it again

but obviously that didnt happen because now youre on his mind 24/7 and he wishes that he could just talk to you but hes kind of nervous

so after taking advice from jeno he tries to talk to you more, like asking how your day went and starting up conversations

youre  kind of like “what u playing at son” but you leave it cause you know jaemin would never do you dirty like that

it stays this way for a while until one night theres a particularly bad thunderstorm and jaemin is scared of thunder

and so when youre just playing on your phone jaemin opens your door slightly and has this scared look on his face

and you know that jaemin is scared of thunder so you open your arms without any words being shared

a huge boom of thunder makes jaemin squeal and jump into your arms

and he gets comfy under the covers as youre holding him, no words shared between you two

he starts to feel much better and this sense of comfort washes over him like,,, youre his home

and as hes falling asleep he softly mutters

“im sorry it took me so long”

and youre just straight confused like what does that mean is he talking about his feelings or just the fact that yall havent had such an close encounter in a while 

the next morning you wake up and jaemins arms and you guys are facing eachother

and hes already awake so when you oepn your eyes you find him already looking at you

“thank you for last night, youre the best” he whispers and youre like all good fam i understand

but then he leans in closer and is like “i should have told you this so long ago, but i am in love with you”

your eyes widen and youre like wh AT the FUCJ your heart is beating at like 420 bpm and ur shooketh

he just smiles and pulls in you in closer and its just a super soft moment and no words have to be said

that night you guys are cuddling on the couch after dinner when jaemin just asks you be his gf

OF COURSE YOU SAY YES! you have been waiting for this moment for god knows how long

jeno is all like damn fina-fucking-ly i’ve been watching this romance play out for like 5 years! 

its super cute

its even better that you guys are roommates because youre already living together so you get to see eachother everyday

jaemins room as become a guest room for sorts as he now shares a bed with you

jenos happy af hes like YESSS I DONT NEED TO SLEEP WITH JAEMIN IN OUR SLEEPOVERS ANYMORE

jaemin: >:(((((( tf is that supposed to mean

you just laugh and youre like im not complaining hahaha and jaemins heart just stutters so bad 

he really does love you and he cant believe it took him so long to accept his feelings

and one night he tells you about how he pushed them down and youre like “exCUSE ME we could have been dating all this time u pussy”

sad jaemin :((((( 

anyway ya its so good its a win-win situation 

you get to room with the love of your life and its just magical there are so many soft moments between you two and just UGH relationship goals

i need me a jaemin

[godlymvmi]

rate each chelsea players seasons so far?

oh dear lord okay

- werner: 7.5/10. werner gets so much shit for no reason, he’s actually not had as bad of a start as rival fans love to preach on twitter/on here. even when he’s not scoring, 9 times out of 10 he’s THERE, he’s trying, hes pressing, he’s passing, he’s active. he’s so fucking fit as well, played the second most minutes for us so far and he’s bossing it. and i fully rate that, love him, we’re gonna see great things from him.

- havertz: 8/8.5/10. i cant give him a nine just yet i reckon. but bloody hell, he’s been so good. even when he makes errors, he’s tracking back to fix them, he’s intercepting, his fluidity on the ball is incredible to watch. at the same time, thats also the biggest probkem so far, he’s almost too graceful with it sometimes and he’s not the most bulky lad so he sometimes does struggle with the physical side of the prem, but that’ll come

- abraham: 8/10. he’s solidly impressed me. he’s come off the bench, now he’s starting, he’s seen his chance to show what he’s worth and he’s done it for me, he’s improved in every aspect we wanted him to. he looks so much more confident, hes still a bit clumsy with it sometimes but my god, he’s playing deeper, getting assists and goals, chefs kiss from me.

- ziyech: 9/10. and i refuse to say i’m jumping the gun. the mans passing is orgasmic to watch, his left foot makes me horny, like the man is such a fucking baller, i fully can’t believe we’ve bagged him. his corners as well, i could cry. the willian upgrade we needed, nothing more to be said, hes here and he’s perfect

- pulisic: 7/10. this is purely cos he’s now on injury again and he didn’t exactly hit the ground running right after he came back (which is to be expected) but he’s so so good. truly such a danger on that left side, i canr way for him to be back

- hudson odoi: 6.5/10. this is purely cos he’s barely played, but when he has he’s been a solid 7, he’s improved so much, he looks far more confident. he’s not perfect, he’s got a good way to go but he deserves so much better than to constantly be benched, he really should get more minutes for us and i hope it happens soon.

- giroud: 6/10. again, he’s barely played. i love him mate, i have so much love for oli and i think it’s unfair he’s being benched and coming on for a measly 10 minutes cos it’s not fair on him, whack him on with 30- 20 minutes to go. eden hazard said he’s the best target man in the world, he was one of the only reasons we made it to top four last season. deserves more

- kante: 6.5-7/10. irs hard to say, he’s not lived up to what we know he can do, he’s not been amazing and he’s had some matches where i’ve been begging for him to be subbed off, but lately it seems like we’ve found a way to go, i thought he looked so much better yesterday alongside kovacic, it’s too early to say but i don’t think he’s dusted just yet. i love him

- mount: 7.5/10. it’s hard with mason cos he’s had some absolute fucking nightmares but that’s down to poor management, no rest and being played on the wing. but look how much better he looks as a number 8, he’s a different player. i only want to see him as a number 8, i love to see it.

- jorginho: 6.5/10. i love jojo but he’s so wishy washy at times, but i truly love what he brings to the team. playing wise, sometimes i wonder what he’s thinking but generally i love him, every day i think about his “chin up” gesture to the younger lads and want to cry, he brings so much in so many ways. teaching silva english he needs to use on the pitch, telling lampard “i just want to win” when he was told werner was going to be out penalty taker. i could cry.

- barkely/rlc: didn’t play enough to rate but i hope rlc thrives on loan this season and i hope we recall barkely in january.

- chilwell: 9/10. insane. looks like he’s played for us for years mate, he doesn’t look like a signing we made this summer. absolutely insane. i hope he never leaves, he already seems to love this club and team so much, truly hope he’s our next ashley cole without rhe arsehole stuff <3

- james: 9/10. again, our fullbacks mate. reece has had at least one game i can think of where he wasn’t amazing but generally this man is everywhere, he’s attacking, he’s defending, he’s intercepting, he’s a stunner mate. his linkup with ziyech mate OOF. right back sorted forever

- silva: 9/10 and no i don’t care about that one mistake in his forst match, i don’t care. mans has changed our entire defensive look on the pitch. he’s made zouma a better player, he’s shouting directions at everyone, he’s just scored a goal for us, he already seems to love this club dearly. mate i hope he gets a contract extension, i fucjing love the man. so calm in the ball, for once i’m not pissing myself every time someone attacks. love him. love him.

- zouma: 8/10. underrated. but this man fucking works for us, every match. yeah, he’s had some nightmares and sometimes he very clearly panics whike in the ball, but he’s getting better every match imo and he’s learning from the best rught next to him. i love him, he’s always so happy as well, makes me smile. hope him and silva keep up this partnership

- christensen: 4/10 he’s just not good enough. i will die on the hill that there’s a good player inside of him, that there’s truly a good player there and sometimes we see it. but he’s not for the prem, watch him go somewhere else in europe and he’ll thrive. however, he’s my fourth choice cb, i trust him over rudiger any day.

- azpilicueta. 8/10 and ni i don’t care about your opinion. i miss him on the pitch, i cant even lie. i absolutely adore azpi. i truly love him so much and the work he does for this club, the heart and dedication he has for us. time and time again he’s saved us, i nearly sobbed at his celebration against ajax before they disallowed his goal. he’s so gracious and humble, made way for reece, and the man is still a good player. hope he stays forever and retires with us. and yes. he is a club legend.

- alonso: 3/10. man is abysmal. man is terrible. get him out of my club now. his attitude is horrid, he can’t do anything on the ball that chilwell can’t do better and truthfully, his time has come to leave. feel so uncertain anytime he plays, thank god he hasn’t in bare time

- tomori. 100/10. shut up. i love fikayo man. turning down a loan to west ham last minute to fight for his place, head down and attitude right. even now, franks said he’s part of the plans and i hope so cos i see a fucking class cb in him as long as he gets time, minutes and good coaching. i really see him as our third choice centre back, when we rest silva fikayo should be on the pitch. we’ve seen him and zouma link up before, we can see him again.

- emerson: 5/10. i don’t hate emerson, he’s just eh. he doesn’t do much for me, he doesn’t really stick out, he kind of blends in and is almost a bit invisible during most matches he’s played. he’s just eh. i don’t hate him but i certainly don’t want him starting every match ever and wouldn’t mind a new backup lb.

- rudiger: 3/10. i can respect this mans agent work to get havertz and werner to us but now it’s time to go rudi pal. i just don’t trust him on the ball ever, man terrifies me every time. he’s so shaky. i’m so glad we’ve not seen him pkay much recently, cos it baffles me that he’s being subbed on in the first place.

- kepa: 1/10. no. there’s nothing to say

- caba: 5/10. does the job, he’s not great and he’s deffo not my first choice but if mendy can’t start, he’s mt third choice.

- cech. pls play him frank. 1000000/10 <3

- mendy: 9/10. dont care about last night, he’s amazing. i wasn’t expecting him to come and perform the way he has but he’s been so so good. cant remember what it feels like to trust a goalie i just love himmmmmmm. such a good attitude and work rate as well

[wereg0blin]

for the ask meme? all of them u thot

For ur and Cris' demand1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?Yes!!!!! 2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?UhHHHHHH it is 3 years older than me but hhhhhhh probably not3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?Bicth ten mins ago4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?ALWAYS5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?If there are they can go fuck themselves right in the butthole6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?CHOKE-I dont know how but they found me - mr seen aka my eX hHHhH7. What exactly are you wearing right now?a cute ass blouse thingy some tights and christmas deer antlers on top of a Santa hat8. How often do you listen to music?every chance i get9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?jeans i guess10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?i dont even remember 201311. Are you a social or an antisocial person?both damn12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?On the cheek yes13. What about ‘R’?platonically yes14. Can you drive a stick shift?i can climb sticks???? does that count??? 15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?they 100% do and i dont really care bc everyone talks shit about everyone 16. Are you going out of town soon?i dont know how to reply to this because i live in two towns17. When was the last time you cried?Wednesday i think,, i wish i could cry more often 18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?i try to say it as much as i can bc i have a lot of love in my heart19. If you could change your eye color, would you?maybe a lighter blue bc gray blue isn't that pretty20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?not counting evan,,, uhh Boys ARE A BLESSING TO THIS WORLD FUXK YEAH21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.am planning to tell mh parents abt my depression but hHHHHH22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?if it has boy in it iT CUTE23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?NopE cris is like,,,, my best friend wtf24. What are you sitting on right now?b e d i t s o f t25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?FRIENS. LOVE THEM. 26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?ALL THW TIME B I TCH27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?my roommates 28. Do you get a lot of colds?nop, but when i do its fuxked up29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?Switzerland 30. Does anyone hate you?yepity depity do and i hope they burn in hell fucking pieces of shits31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?it will be a cold day in hell when i drink my dudes32. Do you like watching scary movies?BITCH I L OV E MAKING FUN OF MOVIESSO SEEING SHITTY SCARY MOVIES IS A FUCKING BLESSING 33. Do you want your tongue pierced?Nah how tf am i gonna eat spicy shit then???? ¿¿¿¿34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?2015????or 2016??? i think that was the worst my depression ever was35. Did you have a dream last night?i think????? 36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?right now37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?hope not???? but then again???? kinda hope i do????? probably not doe38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?yes i know at least 2 boys and i feel so sorry for them39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?probs40. Did you have a good day yesterday?mmmeh41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?oh shit i have no Fucking idea 42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?y e s43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?i think???? cris must've told me at least one time and evan too so Uhhhh i guess???? ¿¿¿¿44. What’s the best part about school?i get to have unnecessary crushes45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?ppppplenty46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?yeah but he called me a slut and a whore 47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?god fucking hell all the time 48. Were you single over the last summer?yep49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?nope thank the whatever the fuck is out there 50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?sleeping i guess51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?evan is a precious cinnamon roll fuck off 52. Are you nice to everyone?YES YES YES YES ALWAYS as i saidk i l l t h e m w i t h k i n d n e s s53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?h hh hhh fuCking tAke a wIld Gue Ss m854. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?bitch when i cheat will be the day i cut my throat 55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?bad feelings? yescrushes? n0Pe56. Do you think you like someone?i think but i hope not57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?nop i do not Think so my dude 58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?why THE FUCK would that matter59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?current ones?? i dont think so??? 60. Do you hate anyone?nah i just,,,, strongly dislike themexcept the fucking bitches i called friends i hopr they die in a fire 61. How’s your heart?idk i guess ok??? im always okay62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?not really pffft63. Have you ever cried over a guy?yes all the time,, boys r beautiful 64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?hmmmmmmmmm idk i can think of a few people but i hope not 65. Are your toenails painted pink?I W I S H66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?bih i wish i could have my first kiss67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?if boyfriend cries i cry thats bad 68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?poor poor souls that actually had this happen to them69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?my sister!!! 70. How do you look right now?bored Even doe im honestly just relaxed 71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?i do that with everyone bc if u don't like me u don't have tk be around me 72. Can you commit to one person?yes ofc!!!??? 73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?even bby ilu74. Have you ever felt replaced?i think?? yes probs75. Did you wake up cranky?nop76. Are you a jealous person?hhhhHA YOU DONT EVEN K N O W77. Are relationships ever worth it?Theyre fun but the end of them makes me wanna die78. Anyone you’re giving up on?crushes and teachers 79. Currently wanting to see anyone?3 more years bih u better wait for meand u too eben b safe u dork80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?sssstudy h81. Last person you cried in front of?mom82. Is there someone you will never forget?yyyES83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?nope he doesn't really care about me anymore (although i dont think he ever did) 84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?BICTH ID BE KISSING THAY THOT ALL OVER HER FACE AND WATCHING SAW AND VORING PIZZAEVEN DUDE HHHHELTS WATCH SAW 3 AND LAUGH AT THAT DUDE BREAKING HIS LEG AND THWN I CAN HUG YOU TILL I DIE FROM DEHYDRATION 85. Are you over your past?i ggggUess??? 86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?i have no idea 87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? @lady-misfortune @space-ace-sneevee @thelilshadowchild88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?what has been has been but i guess idk yet bc ive had like 1 bf for now 89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?never kissed 90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?i guess???????? 91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?i sure as hell have no idea92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?Michael Jackson and I are best buddies bItch93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?noPe94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?i was in a relationship with my laptop and i didnt leave him from 7pm to 6am 95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?he a dicky 96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?bicth fucjing prettiest people youll find97. Who do you have texts from?crissy gorl that im too lazy to reply to98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?happened to me and i said "glad u told me earlier i dont want u being with me if u r uncomfy" it did hurt like a fucking bitch doe99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?bitch never kissed 100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?me, myself and i101. Ever kissed under fireworks?NEVER KISSED FFS102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?IN a jar nicely packed and handed to me? no but stomach butterflies so bad i wanted to throw up? yes