#left a specific way so i wouldn't run into him again bc i was scared

[some-things-about-life]

can't believe i have zero game even in my dreams

[sugar-omi]

Incoming ramble I wanna hear you’re thoughts on this cause it’s been on my brain for a little bit and it’s got me in my feels

K so I forget if it’s in the step 3 prologue or in the Drive moment but either way when on the topic of Cove leaving for Nevada every now and again and choosing how your MC feels about it there’s the option to choose that it makes you sad and nervous specifically because the little 8 year old in you (who remember was probably HORRENDOUSLY lonely) was scared that Cove was gonna leave and never come back

Now that option alone already gets to me (cause I relate to it hard cough cough) but just imagine the MC actually confessing to Cove about that fear!! Obviously the MC doesn’t want to make Cove stop going cause yknow he’s literally going to see his own mom but MC also can’t deny that there’s that sad lonely little kid inside their head who just doesn’t want to be left alone again so they’re kinda just stuck in the dilemma. But soon enough after feeling well enough to admit it they finally tell Cove about it and get to actually work it out!!!

It just- AUGH ITS GOT ME EMOTIONAL MAN I CANT-

cove would actually feel so relieved omg bc it makes him sad too and he misses you, ofc ik he says that no matter what but I think he also worries abt leaving n nevering coming back

very traumatized from the move after his mom n dad divorced n he tried to run away bc he missed krya, yk 😟

reassures you that he'll always come back, and that if that did happen he'd prbly try to run away to see you LOL

would offer to take you with him!!! if you're dating ofc you need to work it out w his mom a bit more than necessary but she wouldn't mind if you stayed over or came to hang out w them

I imagine krya spends a Lotta time at work anyway since she can't be on leave the entire time he visits, so she'd be relieved that he has someone to keep him conpany

he talks abt you so much anyway, it's like you're basically there w them already

if you can't or don't want to go with him, he'd video call you sm more

sends lots of pictures n texts and voice messages

tells you basically everything abt his day and sends gm and gn texts

NO VOICE MESSAGES

omg...

coves sleepy, raspy voice saying "good morning" (

sounds like this, would even call you sunshine like sonny did!!!😭😭

I'm falling apart

mmm if he's gone a long time he'd prbly even come see you, or meet you half way

which is stressful bc he has a long drive but he would bc he's crazy abt you

omg gives you a shirt of his.

BUYS MATCHING SHIRTS

omg and asks you what you're wearing every day until you say that shirt n he wears it like "omg!!! what a coincidence!!!!" babe we know u did it on purpose PLEASE

sends you flowers

n by send you flowers I mean asks his dad to pick up some flowers and deliver them to you

sends his dad money too but cliff would prbly pay for them once or twice bc he thinks this is so chge n send the money back to cove so cove is like "dad!!!" n just makes an order on his card bc his dad is so stubborn😭😭

cliff is actually in love w your guys relationship he's so happy,,, pls

I should write some hc's on how cliff feels abt you guys dating bc my man's is so happy!!!! pls. OK anyway

OMG YOU VIDEO CALL N EAT TOGETHER

will ask what you're eating n have the same thing if he can

OMG HE PICKS UP ONE TIME AND HE'S RUNNING ACROSS THE STREET N HES LIKE "WAIT DONT EAT YET I GOTTA PICK UP THE FOOD"

n you can just see his chin, the sky and then it's like kinda black n then for some reason u can see the floor and then he's like "sorry" and he starts running back to his car AGAIN

and so he delicately places the phone down n is panting n just goes, "sorry. I'm ready now" *throws his head back* "omg gimme a minute... man. climbing thru your window really came in handy"

KISSES THE SCREEN

big "mmmmwaahhh!!!"

or tiny "mweh", no in between

falling asleep on the phone too

WOULD TUCK THE PHONE IN.. OMG STOP IT

he's totally normal abt you I swear

[gunsforcait]

This has been explained many times since chapter 138 came out, but because even I am having a hard time processing it, I wanna talk about the many reasons why the dream wasn't only Mikasa's, and Eren has loved her for a long time.

The logical reasons: All the subtle hints that have been given through the series that Eren holds Mikasa dearly, and why he was obviously lying at the table scene. (He was an asshole for telling her all of those things but still)

Eren wouldn't lie to her like this if he really hated her, specially not this Eren, specially not after she'd given him the strength to keep fighting and not give up.

When he worried about her broken ribs in ch51, when he looked back at her and thought about getting back his home in rts, when he accepted her emotional support by opening grisha's books together, when he encouraged her to show her hizuru tattoo bc he knew it would be the best thing for her. Moments where he worried about her and supported her.

Then we have the chapter 123 scene. It would not make sense for Eren to ask that "what am I to you?" question if he wasn't seeking for a specific kind of answer. After all, it's been three years and by this point Eren was probably aware that what he felt for Mikasa wasn't just mere affection, and as a last resort before giving in to his future, he sought for something that wouldn't make him hate himself, even if it was just for a moment.

All because he knew that Mikasa cares for him a lot (even if his dense mind didn't know for sure that she loves him)

Then we get Eren and Zeke's conversation. Eren actively asked Zeke about her, wether the fact that she cared for him was something related to her bloodline or something else, because he doesn't believe he's worthy of being loved and cared for like Mikasa does.

Zeke answers that there's no such thing as an ackerbond and tells him that she probably just "likes you so much that she'd snap a titan's neck for you" but by that time, Eren knows it's too late for him, too late for them. So he shrugs it off and tells him he can't do anything about it bc he only has four years left.

This imo is another sign that he wants her to forget him bc he doesn't want to hurt her. He knows now that she loves him, but he cannot be selfish and have a future with her, so for her own sake, he tries his best to try to make her stop loving him or forget him.

It's been shown multiple times in the manga, with the table scene (sigh), when he told louise to throw the scarf away, and in their dream when they hugged and he told her to please forget him when he's gone, basically telling her to move on and live a long, happy life without him.

The memory shards. Normally I wouldn't have paid much attention to them, but the fact that Mikasa is in the biggest one's twice, and is the biggest focus on the third one isn't a coincidence.

(Also I'll just mention how they're shards of two of the most pivotal moments of their relationship but let's keep going)

This scene shows to me that he had a moment of weakness when he saw that innocent and beautiful moment between the two of them again, after so long. I think he understood fully why Mikasa clings so much to that moment for comfort.

And at last we get the shared dream, alternative universe, previous timeline or whatever it was. A different version of events where Mikasa told him she'd be happy by living the rest of his four years together in peace. He accepts her proposal and they run away together.

They spend the next four years getting closer and building their relationship, specially after knowing that they both share romantic feelings for the other. It gets to a point where they're so comfortable with each other that they're basically in a relationship, hence shown by the physical closeness that they show to each other in this dimension with that hug, and the way she held his head as he was about to die.

Which brings me to the main point of this post. This scenario was shared for one main reason: the very first time we see Eren and Mikasa together in the manga.

Not only Eren sees Mikasa saying goodbye to him in that au, but he realizes that her hair has grown longer compared to how it looked two minutes ago in that dream. He saw it. He was part of it.

Now, to Mikasa's pov. We don't know for sure what her headaches meant, but they're most likely related to that dream. Probably caused by Eren, trying to break through her Ackerman lineage to make her see this dream. It was heavily implied in 138.

In this very moment, Mikasa is finally seeing that dream too. She was able to remember everything that happened in it.

And I wanna put emphasis on the fact that this dream is fabricated by both Eren and Mikasa. Things happened the way they did in there because they were both free to choose the events of it, hence why Isayama said it was "Mikasa's ideal". Yes, her answer to his question in the refugee camp in that universe was her ideal. She has shown remorse about saying "you're family" to him. But that alternative answer was what she would've liked to say.

Eren, nevertheless, accepted that answer and ran away with her. He's the one leading their path in this panel which makes me think that he's the one who actually proposed to run away for real.

So, back to our reality in chapter 138, Mikasa has seen everything. Remembers everything. She's experienced four years of "married" life with Eren in seconds. And she knows that Eren has seen it, too. That he loves her back, and that he never hated her.

But she also knows that the Eren in this reality is too far gone. So she ends it. She kills him and ends it all, remembering the moment he died in their shared dream. She tells him "See you later, Eren" and then holds his head in her hands and kisses him goodbye.

She said goodbye to him in the exact same way that she did in their dream.

The Mikasa that hadn't experienced 4 years alone in a cabin with Eren would get nervous any time he got too close to her or get all red when he asked a romantically coded question. If she didn't have that closeness to him normalized, she would have never kissed him like that.

If Isayama had meant for that moment to be gruesome and hard to look at, he wouldn't have made Eren's expression look so peaceful when they kissed. He would've looked more like this.

We know Isayama isn't scared of showing impactful images like that, so if he had wanted to, he would have done it. But that wasn't what he was trying to convey.

In other words, eremika canon. Thanks for reading👍