#like 'hip' nowadays or whatever the fuck in online spaces for people to self diagnose autism and shit like that
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hm.
#maybe it's time i put some actualy thought into the possibility that i'm autistic#because the more i read about it#the more it becomes very clear that every facet of my mental disorders could. very easily stem from autism in some way shape or form#my anxiety#my social anxiety specifically#my thing about specific noises and foods as sensory related issues#the way that burnout affects me and also the way that I can't verbalise how things are specifically in my brain#a lot of my other attributes like my gender/sexuality also align with more autistic behaviors but that's obviously not a telltale sign#aroace nonbinary people are not all automatically autistic#i always go in circles with myself about this because my brother has an autism diagnosis#or at least he has been tested and been given a 'very likely' kind of answer#but my mom has ADHD#(her dad and her brother are also suspected to be on the spectrum but they've never been tested)#but every time I bring up the possibility of me being autistic with ANYONE outside of my friends it immediatley gets shut down#idk how to feel about it anymore#but me being autistic would explain so much? but also i don't want people to just think that i'm using that label because it's#like 'hip' nowadays or whatever the fuck in online spaces for people to self diagnose autism and shit like that#i'm just really tired of fighting with myself 24/7 about this#so.#it's a label i want to be able to use because it makes SENSE and it explains so much about me?#but i don't know for sure and i don't know if i ever will#tonight's one of those nights man#i am once again oversharing on the internet#the depths of the blog#not pjo#not omgcp#not fandom
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