#like 75% of these fall into the category of 'games pikasprey has played mods/randomizers of that i have no context for otherwise'

[shachihata]

i summarize video game series that i genuinely do not know anything about besides what i've picked up on through cultural osmosis

resident evil: there's a corporation that made evil bioweapon zombies except somewhere along the way genuine black magic and cults got involved for no reason and now ethan winters can glue his hand back on including the jacket sleeve it was formerly attached to. where's the twink leon he was cute

fallout: nuclear apocalypse julius caesar is in this one. ummmmm there's a robot detective with yellow eyes right. are you delivering mail or some shit like your player character is called the courier????? There's a fight between the caesar legion and another group somewhere in there???????

castlevania: alucard and other vampires in a castle that looks different in every game umm a family of vampire hunters are involved too. I think alucard is gay but he's in a comphet relationship with the blond girl in green armor. Yeah i don't know the overarching plot of this one besides the fact that dracula keeps getting beaten up every single game

half life: ok i don't actually know anything about actual half life besides my brief stint with hlvrai i think this one's post apocalyptic im gonna guess there's something with a nuclear explosion because like. radioactive half life or whatever. uhh there's a secret dimension of aliens that the gman is associated with. Oh gordon freeman in the newer games is a dilf he's like fighting the aliens or something man idk

megaman: I Think this one is also post apocalyptic except there's robots instead of humans? ummm there's a bunch of "-man" characters besides megaman that megaman has to fight. i think megaman is the protag trying to save the "good" robots from getting destroyed except sometimes the games mix it up so there's a megaman with a different name i think it's like "X" or something that has to do it for megaman

red dead redemption: COWBOYS i heard of em. yeah idk the plot its called "redemption" so its probably. like you did something wrong and have to go travel with cowboys to redeem yourself. Wait isn't it choice-based open world though. ok maybe you can choose whether you're a redeemed cowboy or not. there are a LOT of dilfs in this one i think

dishonored: there's the guy with the black eyes who gives you a whale stamp on the back of your hand that lets you do magic i know this one b/c i think the way people draw that guy is either cute or super homoerotic. Uhhh you're like accused of killing the queen or something right like you're. literally "dishonored" and have to redeem yourself. Idk why there's like 3 games about that though

final fantasy: sephiroth drip meme all i need to know next question

kingdom hearts: actually i get kingdom hearts and final fantasy mixed up is. is kh the one with sephiroth in it im gonna look so bad if it is. Anyway mickey mouse is in this one. You're like defending earth from these inky shadow dudes OH there's an enemy that's like two corpses with a bar driven thru their heads i think because my cousin played this when i was younger and i was so scared by that guy. Wait maybe it was final fantasy that had that enemy. WAIT maybe it was persona FUCK

persona: im doubting myself now i'm pretty sure sephiroth isn't from persona though. this is like a semi slice of life dating sim mixed with a battle rpg i think. You can like. summon your "persona" to fight and the battle layout looks cool??? idk what you're fighting against though is it like a madoka magica situation where that superhero cat turns against you. Sorry joker for disrespecting you i think he looks neat

metal gear: snake. solid snake. gay little otacon. Someone tells snake to get the fries at mcdonald's because he needs the energy but he can't because his ass claps too loud. Fuck i don't actually know the plot of this outside of memes and smash bros SHIT does snake go on like secret spy missions to take down some mysterious enemy organization or something. Fuck

yakuza: i've seen a gif from yakuza used to reply to fucking everything i'm not sure there's something that this game ISN'T about. Well it's like the japanese mafia right. i'm guessing there's like a good mix of fighting and also family drama with all these weird yakuza dilfs. Like is there a custody battle somewhere in there

fire emblem: there's like 40 games in this elaborate dating sim and for what. all i hear about this one is people talking about romance strategies to maximize battle compatability with their datemate of choice. Doesn't it follow that marth dude as he tries to take back his kingdom or something I don't know i don't think that's the primary focus of the game anyway. Go grind for relationship points or something