#like someone once tried to tell me that I couldn't identify as an 'anti' and that 'antis' would hate me too

[transwolvie]

Makes me think of the hierarchy of sex discussion, because in order to uphold the hierarchy they must push the myth that letting anything over the boundary set between "normal" sex and "weird" sex would mean letting EVERYTHING over that boundary and a full societal collapse into degeneracy. That argument probably sounds pretty familiar. People who say that gay marriage will lead to sex with ducks, people who are insistent that the gays want to include pedophilia, etc.

You see an interesting turn of this too, where people are insistent that ANY censorship or limits would lead to everything that deserves to be normalized being pushed back into the realm of "weird" sex, too, which is fascinating, because I think most of us can fairly say that we can, in fact, ban things such as porn of minors (especially irl minors, looking at youuuu AO3!) without somehow going back to the days when all queer art was subjugated. A kind of knee-jerk reaction (mmm reactionary movements) to the fact that our overall society has always pushed this slippery slope myth, and thus the fact that the larger, controlling groups of society will in fact try to ban any and all queer expression as degenerate.

But here's the thing. It's a myth. We can let things over the line without descending into chaos, because the line is made the fuck up. Accepting furries does NOT mean accepting zoophilia. Accepting LGBT+ people does NOT mean accepting pedophilia. On its face that should be OBVIOUS, since these things are hardly related at all. The only thing that groups them together is that they are currently societally taboo. and the cool thing about society is that you can still keep certain taboos even as you move into a more progressive society. in fact you uh. SHOULD keep certain taboos (@ libertarians. stop being nasty.)

When people present it as some weird zero-sum game they are lyingggg to you. It is not a slippery slope, it is a clear decision we can make and a line we can set as a society that LGBT+ people are normal, that kink is normal, that something as simple as furries are NORMAL, without somehow letting the big bad boogieman of "evil" and "wrong" sex in

[torc87]

The irony is, I was not a Zionist before March or so. I didn't really give a damn about Israel other than as another country, had zero, less than zero desire to live there bc I don't want to live in ANY religion based country ( though heaven knows US is heading that way too), and when my mother often said that if the day came that we weren't safe in the US then Israel would be the only place to take us in? I rolled my eyes bc I couldn't imagine such a scenario and didn't want to live there anyway.

And then anti-Semitism in the US rose. My mother didn't feel safe putting a menorah on the window - someone could throw rocks. Credible threat - anti-Semitic violence is on the rise. Houses get graffitied, people get attacked in the streets, our places of worship need Guards for fucks sake.

My best friend and I watched a video of a crowd of pro-palestinian protesters enter a subway car and demand any Zionists leave. We had to consider - would we have been safe if we were wearing the Star of David visibly in that situation? What about any observant Jews who dress religiously and are visibly Jewish? She said in that situation she would hide the Star of David and deny being Jewish. Sensible. Except she grew up following religious rules - I was born in Communist Russia, I know pretty much nothing about the religion and only a little about cultural traditions, I'm Pagan, so I usually identify way more w being Russian than Jewish - and being Jewish Matters to her in a way it really doesn't to me. Having to consider denying a core part of your identity to stay safe has to hurt.

After that video I considered what I would do. Bc I Will not live in a country where I'm unsafe being Jewish in public. The day I have to remove my Magen David for safety is the day I start planning to get my family out of here.

Bc we already did that once.

We came to the US as religious refugees. Bc the FIRST thing I learned about being Jewish, when I was THREE, was to never ever tell anyone I was Jewish.

And I'm damned if I go back to that. If I watch my mother go back to that. She spent her first 28 years ashamed of being Jewish, hiding it from her best friends. I won't watch her go back to that quietly.

So I thought. Where would I go in that situation?

Hmm, I still have my Russian citizenship. But that's out, frying pan-fire. My great grandparents are from Ukraine. Umm ...no for multiple reasons. Most of Europe is just as anti-Semitic. If the US gets unsafe, Canada will be too. Also, is any other country likely to take us? Prob not. I considered. And was left w my mother's solution. Israel.

Which I don't want - but if the choices are living in hiding, or being in danger, or leaving, well, my ancestors survived by leaving.

And things Are starting to feel unsafe. Not for me, not yet - I pass really really well bc I'm not religious and don't dress like a Jew, don't usually ( started this spring) wear a Star of David, live in a city w a fair amount of Jews - but the air of 'am I safe in this neighborhood, am I safe near a protest - persists bc it IS unsafe for those visibly Jewish. People got attacked for being in the streets.

I actually considered that. If I had to leave? I can go to any country that isn't actively hostile that will take me. I prefer Western and first world bc it's familiar but realistically? I could live most places. Observant Jews? Need there to be kosher grocery stores. Kosher farms - getting kosher meat is damned hard. They need enough Jews around to have a synagogue. The place has to be willing to give Jewish holidays off and let them go home early Fri to observe Shabbat w out penalizing them financially.

That really really limits options. In fact, I really don't know many places they could go.

Some people will say - if it's your life and survival on the line, just stop following the religion or hide it.

Pretty sure that's been done and tried - and as my best friend calls it - my ancestry, my past, my culture was STOLEN from me.

My connection to my race is bc I have family members that were murdered for it. That's my STRONGEST meaning of what it means to be Jewish.

And that's fucked up.

I don't want the religion - I love being Pagan and worshiping the Goddess got me through some very bad times - but I have a right to my ancestors'past, my family history, the culture my family on both sides followed until my great grandma was little. I have a right to the knowledge that was passed down unbroken for thousands of years - until communists said that we stop doing those things or die and my great great grandparents chose to live. Can't have been an easy choice - my great grandmas father was a Rabbi. She knew almost nothing about the religion and cared not at all about it - eating bacon included. Can't have been easy for him to see his children grow up abandoning their culture, not teach it to them - but he wanted them to live.

So no, any option that requires people to stop following their traditions, to hide their ethnicity ( and it is an ethnicity bc there are distinct differences in genome ) behind closed doors is not an option that is good or better.

Not while there IS a country that would allow us all to immigrate to it, not while the country will encourage those traditions, the preservation of culture, knowledge, language, food.

Which is when I agreed w my mother.

It is important that Israel exist.

Bc if we have to run, it is the only place that will definitely take us.

And while I would wish that the world was safe enough that running is absurd?

It's been shown recently, violently shown, that the possibility that my choices become hide or leave exists.

And when that happens, there needs to be a country that is ours, that will welcome us and fight to keep us safe. That country is Israel.

It exists, it exists on land that was either bought legally in the 1930s or won in a war in 1948 that was started by us being attacked to try to Take that land. It exists on land that thousands of years ago we were born on. Not just my ancestors - our culture, our religion, our nation. Where else should it exist?

It exists, and is so hotly defended, bc when we needed to run before, no one would take us and we were murdered. And I would really prefer to avoid experiencing that for myself and my children. So it needs to exist.

So yes, I became a Zionist.

Jewish people have a right to a country of their own in the land that they originally came from.

Israel exists and should exist.

Now, do I want the government to change and the war to stop? Yes, bc Palestinian people Also have a right to live there bc they Also have history there, and even if they didn't, why shouldn't there be other religions and races and ethnicities in Israel? There are already 2 million Arabs, Druze Christians, Bedouins, people should be able to live normally wherever they want to live, and all else aside there are a bunch of civilians who should be safe bc they just want to live their lives - and just like us, no one else will take them. Which... Why the hell are both groups having to argue over a tiny piece of land instead of being able to live freely and safely and stably in a dozen other countries? Neither people deserves to feel unsafe or unwelcome or without choices on where to live. It's 2024 for crying out loud. Both groups shouldn't feel pressured into crowding on a tiny piece of land!

( and yes, that is just tip of the iceberg of the mountain of reasons for the middle east being the mess it is. I'm not a scholar so I doubt I even know half of the situation)

But unfortunately I don't get a vote.

Frankly, I don't get a vote about Israel existing either. I think it should, but my opinion? Changes nothing.

But I will say, that I bet I'm not the only one whose opinion changed over this year. That went from not caring about Israel to being convinced it's a necessary safe measure.

People are fleeing France in droves - and they are fleeing to Israel.

Bc once again - only safe place that will quickly take them.

I only pray it doesn't reach this level in the US.

[one-sad-human]

•Worth It• Duff Mckagan

Pairing: Velvet Revolver era! Duff Mckagan x Younger! Reader

Requested? Nope!

Theme: Little bit of everything/???

Warnings: Language, panic attacks, anxiety references, drug references

Word Count: 3k

A/N: Fic 2 of 2! This is the longest fic yet! Took a different approach to writing this one, hopefully it payed off. Let me know if you guys liked it or if I wasted my time with this one lol.

     You had met Duff in a coffee shop in LA. It was crowded and you were lucky enough to snag a chair before the lunch rush. Duff wasn't, and asked you if he could sit at your table.

     You grew up with Guns n Roses, bought his solo album the day it came out when you were just 15, and now listened to Velvet Revolver faithfully. To see your idol, your celebrity crush stand right in front of you holding a cup of coffee and a scone sent you for a loop.

     "Of course," you had said, starry eyed. You were only hoping he was as kind as the interviews made him out to be. Maybe have a conversation with you and be polite for a while before leaving and never seeing each you again. That would be good enough.

     It didn't end with a coffee, it had just begun. He asked for your number, and you stared at him for a moment thinking you had imagined it. That was until he tilted his head a little and looked at you with a nervous expression. He backtracked and you immediately stopped him.

     "No! I mean— yes! Yes, you can absolutely have my number." You scrambled for a pen and paper and ended up scratching your number on a receipt from the record store. You shook so hard you could barely get the numbers down.

     Out of all the record store receipts you've stuffed into your bag, the one you gave Duff Mckagan had to be the one for when you bought Velvet Revolver's 'Contraband.' He didn't say anything, just smiled and promised to call.

     You honestly didn't think he would've. You played it off as just him trying to be nice. It didn't stop you from answering every call you got for the next three days, however, even if you recognized the number as the tax collector you'd normally never answer.

     But then he called.

     "I tried calling sooner, but I kept calling the wrong number. You don't have the most eligible handwriting," he had told you. You laughed but really, you were in shock.

     You set up a date at the fancy restaurant downtown that always intimidated you. You didn't say anything though, even though you knew you wouldn't want any of the overpriced food and you'd end up eating something you couldn't pronounce and was two portions too small. Maybe even hit up a fast food joint afterwards.

     When the day finally came, you couldn't even figure out what to wear. You couldn't tell if you looked underdressed or like you were trying too hard. Did the clothes even fit the right way? What would Duff think? Would he even care?

     All questions were answered when you left your house. Duff was leaning against his slick car parked in your driveway, a button up that was barely buttoned and dress pants with boots. He stared at you and you wanted a hole in the ground to shallow you up until he smiles.

     "You look gorgeous," he said. You blushed and grinned, thanking him before saying that he looked great too. He drove you to the restaurant and on the way, you talked about music.

     You shared some of your favorites, he adored how well rounded you were. You liked pretty much everything from punk rock to the mellowest of mellow. Duff mentioned some of his favorites, some you made sure to remember the names of so you can check them out.

     When the ride was over and you finally got to the restaurant, your previous fears came back. Duff reassured you looked better than 90% of the people there and you knew it wasn't true but it made you feel better anyway.

     Your eyes widened to the size of saucers when you saw the prices of the food. You knew it'd be pricey but you thought there'd be more options that stayed within two digit numbers.

     Duff saw your panicked expression and said not to worry, he'd pay. It didn't settle your nerves enough and when the waiter came, you ordered the cheapest and simplest thing you could find.

     "Chicken noodle soup?" He teased. You shyly looked down and shrugged. "This isn't your scene, is it?"

     "Not exactly, no."

     "Want me to be completely honest with you?" You nodded. "It's not mine either."

     That's all it took for you and Duff to scramble sheepishly out of the restaurant. You both shared a laugh in the car and went to Burger King. It was much more your speed and, as you'd find out that night, Duff's too. You suppose all the money he's had since such a young age didn't completely change his ways. He was like a kid trapped in a 40 year old man's body.

     You'd thought at first the age gap would feel strange, after all, you were 15 years younger than him. But after that night, it was barely noticeable. Funny looks from strangers every once in a while was nothing.

     By the second date, Duff was already aware fancy spots weren't your forte. He told you it was a surprise and to wear something cozy, as LA nights got chilly.

     He packed a picnic basket and drove you out to the most beautiful flower field you had ever seen at sunset. It was secluded and high up, giving a perfect view of the city skyline. After gawking and taking in the sights for a few moments, you regained your ability to speak.

     "It's gorgeous. Pretty far from the city, did you take me here to kill me?" You joked. He laughed and rolled his eyes. His lighthearted laugh sent sparks straight to your heart, and you decided that it was your favorite sound.

     You unfolded the blanket Duff brought and you both sat down. You ate the sandwiches and sliced fruit Duff packed and talked. You talked about everything, from your family to fears and insecurities.

You told him how you suffer from nightmares. Flashbacks from your broken childhood coming back to bite you in your sleep. Duff shared how he's suffered from panic attacks since he was a teenager. You felt you knew each other for years.

Neither of you felt weird for sharing and neither made the other insecure. You were completely open and honest with each other. It was strange, you've never connected to quickly and effortlessly with someone before. Sure, you've had men in your life, but never had you clicked with someone so fast, never had you fit with someone so perfectly.

Hours passed and it felt like minutes. Only did you realize how late and how exhausted you were when you saw most of the city buildings light have gone off for the night. The city that didn't sleep was dark.

"I should get you home," Duff said to you.

"Will you stay the night?" You felt a little silly for asking. Were things going too fast? Would he even want to stay over?

He agreed, and that's how your first night together went. You both stayed up even later and had more lighthearted conversations, unlike the ones that partook at the field. Like how one of Duff's first jobs was at a bakery and could bake a mean cake and how you can't cook to save your life.

You ended up waking up without remembering falling asleep. You're head was placed comfortably on Duff's lap while his head was lolled back against the couch cushion. He looked so serene and peaceful you couldn't help but smile at the sight.

You made toast and somewhat successfully cooked some eggs and bacon. It might have been the first breakfast in years that didn't end with the smoke alarm going off.

Duff eventually wandered into the kitchen and you both ate. By the time he left, another date was already set up. He was like a drug an you were already hooked.

Months later and the addiction still wasn't kicked. You didn't want to, and Duff didn't seem to want you to quit either. You both soaked each other up like the sun on a warm day.

You had almost weekly dates and you stayed over each other's houses almost every other day. Duff did have his kids some days, though, so some days dates were cut short or Grace and Mae slept over his house and you wouldn't see each other.

You were always understanding, his kids came first and you'd never blame or get upset about it. It's something Duff admires about you, your never ending understanding and empathy for him.

One of those days where Duff stayed over at your house started normal. He cooked dinner and you washed the dishes, and then you put on an old Ramones concert you had on DVD.

You were laying on his chest, his fingers running through your hair when all of a sudden, he tensed up. He quickly stood and excused himself to the bathroom. You frowned but before you could think much of it, you heard a loud bang and something clatter to the ground.

You jumped up and rushed to the bathroom. You swung open the door because you were perfectly aware the lock hasn't worked since you moved in.

Duff was sitting on the floor, a pill bottle laying on its side not far from him. You quickly spot the name of the medication and identified it as your anti-anxiety pills. You shoved them aside and sat next to Duff.

He was sweating bullets and his skin felt cold and clammy, his breaths were labored and heartbeat was loud and pounding erratically. You coax him gently to take deep breaths, holding onto his hand tightly and talking quietly.

"I'm sorry, they come on randomly sometimes," he apologized after he'd called down, but you quickly shushed him. You reminded him of just how many nightmares he'd comforted you for and he stops feeling so bad about it.

     It was always a true partnership with Duff. Never had you felt you gave or took too much, it was always equal. Always a two way street, with everything.

That wasn't the last panic attack you had to help him come down from. Later down the line you've gotten better at calming him down and learning his triggers, even though sometimes they really do come on suddenly without reason.

A year into the relationship was when you met Grace and Mae. They were young and didn't completely understand why their parents weren't together anymore, so it took them a while to warm up to you. Luckily, they eventually came around.

Duff and Susan met up regularly to discuss their kids and co-parent properly. And while you had all the reason to be jealous of your boyfriend with his ex wife, you never did. You had complete confidence in him, he was honest and loyal and you doubted he'd ever hurt you purposely.

That's why it destroyed you when he left you. Tears were shed from both parties as he gave his reasons for breaking up with you. His insecurities he tried his best to bury had come to light and nothing could change his mind.

You thought you were completely honest with each other, but you suppose his doubt in his relationship with you was the one thing he kept secret. He had somehow convinced himself you'd be better without him, between the constant touring and the baggage that came with him and his kids, he finally buckled under the weight and stress.

You had tried to convince him that he was worth it, but if Duff is one thing it's stubborn. The best relationship you'd ever have and the best year of your life went down the drain within the matter of one conversation.

You were down in the dumps for days. You barely left your bed and didn't ever leave your house. You were in a depression and couldn't get out. A few of your friends eventually found out what had happened and broke into your house and shoved you into the shower before taking you to your favorite Chinese restaurant.

You felt like a disaster. Your hair was ratted despite the shower and you refused to put real clothes on, instead wearing sweatpants and a shirt Duff had left behind. You were a mess.

The hole in the wall restaurant was never busy but always had the best food. You were almost happy your friends dragged you out of your home until you saw Duff sitting at a table, eating egg rolls and lo mein.

You've came here together all the time. The high sodium in the food always made him sick to his stomach and you'd always end up giving him nausea remedies and tea. He never changed his order though.

You locked eyes with him for a while. Dark bags were under his eyes and he looked more pale than usual. He looked as terrible as you felt. You weren't sure if you were spitefully glad he felt awful or if the despair on his face just made your heart break further.

When you couldn't take his intense jade stare anymore, you looked up at the menu. The next time you looked back he was gone, you weren't sure if he was really there at all or if you were finally losing your mind for good.

     Another week crawled by. You got better enough to continue working. You had to pick up extra time for calling out for a few days after the breakup. You wouldn't say things were going well, but you weren't crying in bed every day all day anymore.

     You had constant dreams about him. Some were nice, ones where he didn't leave and you were together, holding each other tightly. Most were nightmares, flashbacks of when he left. You didn't have him to comfort you anymore when you woke up soaked in sweat and tears, and that might've been the worst.

     Another week went by, and you were starting to get back into the swing of things. You still thought about him, even silly little things reminded you of him. Like when you would catch a sniff of freshly baked sweets like he'd bake you or certain songs playing on the radio. It also didn't help that you ran into people wearing Guns n Roses shirts on the daily.

     You also refused to get rid of anything he'd left behind. Tee shirts, guitar picks he left from when he'd play for you, or CDs from bands he introduced you to. Reminders of what you lost were scattered around your home but you couldn't bring yourself to do anything about it.

     Suddenly, it's been a month. You weren't over him, but you had a feeling you'd never be completely. He was something special, you can't forget things as special as your relationship with Duff.

     His items still weren't thrown out or returned, instead all packed in a box sitting in your closet. But you'd be lying if you said you would never reach into the box to grab a shirt to sleep in or a CD to listen to when you needed a reminder of the good times. You were making progress though.

     You decided to leave your house one evening. You were feeling especially terrible and wanted to take a walk to clear your head. You went to the coffee shop you had first met Duff in. Maybe it was a mistake to go and get a flood of memories but you couldn't stop yourself.

     You sat in a seat near the window and people watched, taking occasional sips of your drink. It was quiet except from the talk of the workers and the hum of the overhead speakers.

     There was a sudden squeak of a chair of hardwood floors and it broke you out of your daze. You snapped your gaze up to meet the very familiar green eyes you've been trying to forget.

     "Can we talk?" He asked, and you couldn't say 'no.' Duff sat across from you and started off by apologizing.

     He said he wanted to talk to you sooner, but was too afraid you wouldn't want anything to do with him. You rolled your eyes at that, if only he knew just how much you missed him.

     He then started from the beginning and explained why he made the decision to leave you. As it turns out, it was mostly because of stress. His bandmate Scott was having problems with drugs and the flashbacks from his GnR days frightened him. He was worried he would end up relapsing and he didn't want to drag you down with him.

     Combine that with all the troubles that came with dating a single father, and he couldn't take it anymore. He felt too guilty.

     It all seemed like ridiculous reasons to you. Even if he had made the mistake of falling off the wagon, you still would've stuck with him. And you didn't mind his kids at all, after nearly a year of knowing them and you were very close to them.

     "I love you, Duff. I wouldn't have left you over that, I'd help you through anything. And I love Grace and Mae, too," you told him.

     "I know, but I didn't want you to have to deal with all that baggage." You frowned at that. You reached your hand across the table and grasped his, squeezing it tenderly.

     "You're worth it."

     After that day, you and Duff started seeing each other again. It wasn't the same as before, but maybe even better.

     You were more transparent with each other. If one had a worry or problem, you'd go to the other. You talked everything through with him and he did the same. Even if it seemed insignificant, talking everything through never failed to make it better.

    You were happier and healthier than ever before. Sure, there were a roadblock or two, but they only made the relationship even stronger, and you wouldn't have changed a thing about it.