#like when we see her in the morning in the malibu house she is SNOOPING

[delos-mio]

Death of a Bachelor - Part 5

A/N: I’m not dead, just depressed! Here’s the next installment. I’d link to the other chapters, but I’m not sure if that whole links-in-posts thing is still a thing. As always, let me know your thoughts/feelings/predictions etc.!

“Are you fucking crazy?”

“Don’t know what you mean, sis,” Logan shrugged, eyes fixed on his phone. He was sitting upright in Juliet’s spot on her bed; he had stopped by the home she shared with William to see her after she got back from an extended work trip. Thankfully, William was already back at the office, so Logan was actually able to enjoy time with Juliet without his future brother-in-law lurking over his shoulder.

“You think I didn’t notice who won your bid and who you left with that night?” She stopped putting away her clothes for just a moment and crossed her arms in Logan’s general direction.

“So? I don’t see what the big deal is,” he said, arrogance lacing his voice.

“The big deal,” Juliet walked over and pushed his phone away from his face, forcing him to look at her, “Is that she’s working under a contract for us. And she’s really good at her job, so I’d rather not lose her from this huge opening when you inevitably hit it and quit it.”

“Ouch, Jules. That one hurt.” He said this as though he were kidding around with his sister, but her words really did stab through him. She wasn’t wrong to say it, that was his M.O. after all. It was the truth of it that hurt him the most; he hated himself for her being right.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,” she sighed and pushed his legs, silently asking him to move over. “I just really like her and I don’t know if it’s smart to muddy all this shit up by fooling around with her, or whatever it is that you guys are doing.”

“What if I really like her too?”

“Do you?”

“Yeah, I do.” He hadn’t told you this, of course. Not yet, anyways. But he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t hanging on your every word, hook, line, and sinker. For all the teasing he was responsible for, he couldn’t wait to see you. Hell, he couldn’t wait just to see your name light up his screen. Juliet leaned to rest her head on Logan’s shoulder, his own easily lobbing on top of hers.

“Then fuck what I have to say about it,” she laughed. “What if daddy finds out, though?”

“I guess we just have to make sure he doesn’t, hm?” He reached out his pinky to her, waiting for hers to link up. Juliet grabbed on to his and shook once in agreement. It was a sign of solidarity they’d continued from childhood, the pinky promise. Growing up, they both got into a lot of trouble that had to never make it to the ears of their father. Each time they had to pick each other up or bail the other one out or just act as a confidant, they swore each other to secrecy. The Delos siblings were two sides of the same wild coin- Juliet had just grown out of it sooner. “That means not telling your stupid fiancé either,” he added with a raised eyebrow.

“You’re asking me to keep secrets from my husband already? Shoulda known,” she smiled. “And will you please stop talking shit about him to me? I’m going to marry the guy whether you like it or not.”

“No,” he said defiantly.

After leaving Juliet to unpack the last of her things, Logan headed back to his house on the coast to enjoy the rest of the weekend before you both had to go back into the office. He dropped his keys on the table in the foyer and stalked around the living room, noticing it was empty. When he got back to his room, you were still laying in the middle of the bed, barely covered by a thin, white sheet. He kicked off his shoes and slid in next to you, making you stir just slightly.

“Right where I left you, perfect,” he mused as he trailed a long finger down your bare spine. You rolled over onto your side to look up at him. Even though you were disappointed he had added a few layers of clothes since you last saw him, he still looked incredible. Since the night of the auction, you’d spent most evenings with Logan. That night was just over a month ago, but being with Logan made you feel like it was only yesterday. He fucked you into the mattress and understood the unique pressures you faced at the helm of your business. Though you told yourself you shouldn’t be mixing business and pleasure, Logan just made it too damn hard not to.

“Sorry. Your bed is comfy as fuck,” you smiled, nuzzling into his side.

“You’re welcome to stay in it as long as you’d like. You just have to promise you’ll stay just,” he softly kissed your lips, “like,” a kiss to your shoulder, “this.” He placed his final kiss low on your chest, earning a hum of approval.

“I have to run a few errands before tomorrow, so I can’t stay too much longer,” you said softly. Logan groaned and held you closer, pressing needier and needier kisses along your collar bone. “I could probably be talked into a shower first, though.” He raised his head to look at you and you arched your eyebrow back, asking him to accept your offer. Logan got up from bed and quickly shed his dark tee and pushed his jeans down around his ankles. As you got up to follow him, you couldn’t help the laugh that came out. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

Right as your lips had found his, Logan’s palms running over the curve of your behind, the sound of tires on concrete pulled his focus from you. He looked over toward the window and furrowed his brow, clearly annoyed something was about to delay getting handsy with you in the shower. He stepped over to the covered pane and drew back the heavy curtain only far enough to peek out and see who could possibly be paying him a house call. When he saw the shiny black Maserati speed up the driveway, he pulled the curtains closed tightly and quickly.

“Fuck me,” he muttered under his breath. He found his jeans and hastily buttoned them around his hips. “This is going to sound shitty, but I need you to promise me that you’ll stay right here and not make a sound.” Logan held your face between his hands, his dark eyes fixed and serious.

“Logan, what’s going…”

“Please. Please, just promise me,” he pleaded quietly. You nodded silently and he placed a single kiss on your forehead before storming out of his bedroom and shutting the door loudly behind him.

Logan was off. Whatever he saw outside had been scary enough to genuinely spook him. You’d always seen him completely in control of his emotions. Seeing him now, so shook up and anxious, made your stomach hurt. You tip toed up to the sliver of a gap where the door met its frame and pressed your ear. You knew you shouldn’t be snooping, but you had to know what on earth could possibly make him so skittish.

“Dear old Dad…” Logan drawled. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” Your hand clamped down over your mouth to keep yourself silent. Everything you heard about Jim Delos was unpleasant. He was an undeniably successful businessman, but a lousy husband and father. All the sacrifices he made to build his empire came at the expense of his relationships with everyone in his family. You’d been fortunate enough to only work with the Delos siblings up to this point and you sure as shit didn’t want this to be the way you were introduced to him. Something told you he wouldn’t exactly appreciate you fucking his son while under contract for his company.

“Logan.” Jim’s thick accent carried across the living room. “I just got the final Q2 numbers from the board.”

“And I suppose they weren’t up to snuff, hm?” Logan mocked.

“You watch your tone, boy.” You could hear Jim’s heavy footsteps pace around. All you could picture was a predator stalking its prey. “Why the fuck is Westworld draining so much goddamn money!”

“Well, Jim,” he said patronizingly. “Keeping the park open takes money. Imagine that!”

“Goddamn it, Logan!” he bellowed, accompanied by the unmistakable sound of a fist against a table. “You will get these numbers under control! You’re not 21 anymore; you’re not allowed to be this reckless. I’m not going to fucking tell you again.”

“You really drove all the way out to Malibu to yell at me?” Logan half laughed. “This really feels like this is something you could have just as easily done over the phone.”

“You’re not shit and you’ve never been shit, boy. If you weren’t my own, William would be sitting in your chair,” Jim retaliated.

“Get out of my fucking house.” The directive was spoken quietly, but firm in its intent. Logan was proper angry and Jim knew it. He didn’t care; he knew exactly which button to push to crack his son. There was silence for a moment followed by the harsh slam of Logan’s front door.

You covered yourself with his shirt he left on the floor and scuttled back over to the bed. Minutes passed in silence before there was any evidence of movement beyond the bedroom door. When Logan finally re-entered his room, he looked exhausted. The color was drained from his face and his eyes were distinctly tired. All you could do was stare back at him. You opened up your arms to him, offering the only thing you could think to do. But Logan looked away first and waved you off.

“I think you should go,” he whispered.

“Logan, I—”

“Just go, ok?” He wasn’t angry, no. Logan sounded embarrassed. For some reason, that made your heart clench even more.

You so badly wanted to tell him not to be, that you understood and would do whatever he needed to feel better. But his request was final and you thought it best not to pick a fight, not this time. You pulled off his shirt and dropped it on the duvet; his eyes wandered over to your naked skin and he watched as you stepped back into your dress from the night before. Just as you were about to pass him, you pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. The skin just below his eye was damp and tasted salty like the sea beyond his window. There was nothing you could say to him, so you quietly grabbed your bag and got in your car.

When you got into the office the next morning, you were groggy. After a weekend hedonistic romp with Logan punctuated by him coolly forcing you to leave, you didn’t get much rest once you got back home. But that’s what coffee is for, right? Logan hadn’t reached out to you since you left the day before. That was unusual for him, but you supposed he was wallowing a bit and didn’t want you to be part of it.

The rest of the day past without a peep from Logan. Part of you was starting to worry, but he was a grown man who was perfectly capable of taking care of himself. You reminded yourself that even though you’d been into each other for months now, he was not your boyfriend and you were not obligated to worry about him when he wasn’t around. But then it got to be Thursday. Four days of radio silence from Logan. You texted him once around Tuesday night just to see if you could get him to bite. Nothing. Fine- if he didn’t want talk, then neither did you. The time for playing bullshit games like this was a thing of the past. Another week passed without word and while the world kept turning, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss him.

You did your best to push the incident and subsequent ice out from your mind and dove into a campaign proposal sent from one of your brightest interns. Just as you put your glasses on to settle in for hours of staring at a buzzing screen, there was a soft ding from your phone beside you.

L: Hello darling ;)

Hello? Darling? Emoji? You shook your head a bit, rattling your brain to hopefully knock loose the part that would make sense of his text. For some reason, you thought his first contact with you would be something along the lines of ‘I’m sorry for ghosting’ or even a bashful ‘hey’. Not this.

Y: Hi Lo L: Would I sound like a gushy freak if I said I missed you? Y: Yes L: Ok, how about…let me bring you dinner because I miss you? Y: Like eat at my place? Are you sure? It’s no immaculately clean mansion along the coast L: I’m sure I can survive in squalor for a night Y: Shut up L: Is that a yes? Y: It��s a yes. I should be home around 7 if you want to come over whenever after that L: It’s a DATE! Y: 🙄

He acted like nothing happened. You wanted to be irritated with him. Really, you wanted to tell him off when you saw him, but the more you sat and thought about it, the less it seemed to anger you. Logan had shown you with perfect clarity what this…this thing between the two of you was. He was not beholden to you and the two of you were just fun. You could live with just fun. Did you even have time for more than a casual hook up anyways? Maybe Logan was smart and charming and funny in the most exhausting way possible, but there was no sense in getting attached. With this sudden wave of peace washing over you, you were able to finish your work and leave ahead of schedule.

You applied the last coat of mascara to your lashed when you heard a knock on the door down the hallway. Logan was casual tonight, his dark jeans hugging his thighs and black shirt laying perfectly over his lean torso. It had been close to two weeks since you last saw him, not a long time in the grand scheme of things, but you’d somehow forgotten just how handsome Logan really was. He took a long step to let himself inside your apartment, his chest pressed flush against you.

“Hi,” you mumbled, finally looking up at him somewhat nervously. He was grinning from ear to ear.

“Hey,” he said before leaning down and connecting his lips with yours. You could feel the sigh release from your body and didn’t care if he noticed. This was the feeling you’d missed so much over this little hiatus. Logan had relaxed too; you could feel him loosen as his lips moved over yours. When he pulled away, he was still smiling. “Goddamn, I don’t even want dinner anymore. I just want to take you back to your room and make you come once for each day I missed you.”

“I’m starving,” you said, grabbing the bag he carried in with him. “So I guess you’ll just have to wait.” As you walked over to the couch, you could hear the sigh from behind you and the sound of Logan closing the door behind you. “What’d you bring me anyways?”

“Sushi. I believe a little birdie once told me she loved Shunji,” he said smugly, clearly proud of himself for remembering something you’d mentioned to him months ago.

“They…they don’t even do take out! How di—”

“They do when you’re a Delos,” he winked. You were a little speechless. Everything you thought you had figured out this morning was scrapped and you were back to square one with trying to figure Logan out.

“Well, Logan Delos, thank you,” you said formally, raising your glass of wine to his before taking a drink. For a moment, you ate in silence, reveling in the fresh, delicious sushi Logan brought you. He seemed content enough to just enjoy the company and share dinner together. As you were nearing the end of your meal, you cleared your throat a bit, preparing to address the elephant in the room. “So…been a bit since we’ve talked,” you said, hoping you sounded more sure than you felt.

“Yeah. Listen, I’m sorry about that. I just had some shit I had to do and I…” he began.

“You don’t need to explain anything to me. I would have appreciated it if you would have just let me know you’re too busy for me or whatever, but there’s no use in fighting about shit we can’t change, right?” When you looked over at him, he looked confused.

“You’re not mad?” he asked.

“I was. I was really mad at you. But then I figured it out. You were telling me in a really shitty, roundabout way that we’re just fuck buddies, and I can live with that.” You tried to give him a smile, but he looked like the angry one now.

“You really think I just want to fuck you?” His eyebrows pulled together, his expression cross.

“Well, yeah. Almost two weeks of fucking silence kind of gives off that vibe. You know what?” you scoffed. “Now I am mad at you again! God, Logan! First it’s you have to be with me even when I TOLD you this was not smart, then you’re flirting with all of God’s creation to make me jealous, THEN you’re hiding me from your dad and blowing me off. And now you have the nerve to act like nothing happened and bring me food from one of my favorite restaurants.” You were breathless. “So what is it Logan? Do you even have feelings for me at all or is this just a bunch of bullshit so we can fuck? Because if it’s the second one, I’d rather drop all the pretenses and just sleep with each other.”

Logan looked wounded. He’d heard you out and knew deep down you were right. But there was that part of him that refused to be too vulnerable. You already knew more about him than any of his friends. Only Juliet likely knew Logan better than you. He let out a sigh and ran his palms over his face, scratching lightly when he reached his beard. “I like you. Really. I like you a lot. But I don’t…I don’t know how to be anything worthwhile for other people.”

“Logan…”

“I mean it. I don’t know how to be a boyf—” his voice caught on the word, “boyfriend. I know I can’t be what you deserve. I’m giving you what I can, I promise you, and I’m sorry if it’s not enough. It wouldn’t be the first time,” he laughed bitterly.

“Hey,” you said softly, inching closer to him. “I’m not asking for you to start sending out Christmas card with me. All I need from you is to just be honest with me, maybe even a little open if that’s not asking too much.” You both laughed a little.

“I really am sorry. My dad tends to bring out the defiant teenager in me still.”

“I understand. Do you want to talk about it?” you offered gingerly. There was conflict behind his gaze. The scared, tired little boy in Logan wanted to let it all out and cry in your arms until his eyes were dry. But the guarded man in front of you wanted to keep pretending like he didn’t have a gaping wound open.

“If it’s ok, I’d rather make out until I forget about the whole thing,” he said as he ran his knuckles along your jawline. The guarded man had won, but you’d had enough arguing for one evening and climbed into his lap, his grasp firm on your hips when you crashed your lips into his.