#like. i'm talking to friends and second guessing my interactions bc my anxiety is kicking in so hard over unrelated stuff
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Am I thinking too much?? Is that what's happening??? Am I considering too much at once???
#work was fine! i didn't feel like it dragged but now that i'm working on comm prep stuff i feel so jittery#thinking about new work and picking things up and reducing hours and seeing the bank and it's like#one step at a time i know but ohhhhh there is so much to consider and there is so much i am hoping for and it almost frightens me#hope as a fire to warm yourself by and i fear i am going to burn myself on it#still need to test make envelopes and figure out shipping. could probably just ask the post office irl tbh#like. i'm talking to friends and second guessing my interactions bc my anxiety is kicking in so hard over unrelated stuff#as soon as the money stuff is figured out i can breathe easier and keep making massive strides#that too i guess. every step is a huge one. i've gone from small steps with occassional leaps to feeling like i'm running a marathon#it could all go so well and i am banking on it all going so well and fear what i may do if it does not#if it doesn't i can try again but the burn out is what makes me concerned#i. don't want to keep going to work. i hate what my job has done to me and just want time where i'm not doing ANYTHING#i'm not cracking. in spite of what this seems to imply#shai speaks
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