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#like.. ik I'm ''not alone'' and I don't rly need my experiences validated? I just want to function enough to leave home
lemememeringue · 2 years
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tis change of season (oof ow, me bones) so therapy was mostly talk abt disabilities.
#mine#lem experiences cognitive behavioural torture#lem has a body#this is a relatively Safe Topic except for that once-a-year vampiric lament so I was p talkative#my therapist is also disabled so I think it was easier to connect on the Well Meaning People Who Will Not Just STOP IT#but it was difficult to explain how I'm already Over™ the five stages of grief when it comes to The Rest of My Chronically In Pain Life#it was just like ''I'm already looking into getting crutches bc ik it's gonna get worse'' ''😔 it can be scary and frustrating when—''#''what? no this is great it means I can hit ppl who get too close and blame it on being uncoordinated'' ''.... ah.''#hfjdvfbjgjdhkfbfjg#we also talked abt the autism support group thing. after he explained the purpose of a support group I said that it didn't sound helpful#like.. ik I'm ''not alone'' and I don't rly need my experiences validated? I just want to function enough to leave home#''it sounds like you maybe disagree w the dx. maybe you don't have autism at all?'' well that'd be p disappointing bc we got good memes#my therapist said I have a sense of humour and a good attitude uwu#throughout the session I talked abt mum and started unpacking Just The Surface of that#and I reiterated how I am Doing Okay being at home and online. I just want to get away from Here and I can't transition on my own#bc today was a decent mental health day I was mostly coherent#and we're going to work on How To Leave The House bc doctors don't count bc that requires mum#next week I'll be skipping therapy tho bc I finally got in w the psychiatry place#got a two hour intake 😭😭😭😭#it was Weird getting back in the car after therapy today. mum has been praying for good ppl to help me abd she feels her prayers are heard#I feel kinda guilty bc a half hour ago I was talking abt how emotionally manipulative she gets#multidimensional character yanno
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