#little 'shh' movement at her to indicate that they're asleep. i try to use my best 'nothing funny is happening' reassuring smile.
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overanalyzing past events again โ๏ธ
#september 2022. we're in their room. the door is open their mom is at the pool near their apartment townhouse thingy with my mom.#their head is in my lap- we're watching youtube on my phone. they're dozing. their mom comes in and gives me a strained smile. i do a#little 'shh' movement at her to indicate that they're asleep. i try to use my best 'nothing funny is happening' reassuring smile.#she leaves then asks them to talk to her. they go out to the garage. they come back i ask them what that was about. they say that their#mom was just reminding them to keep things sfw. we sit awkwardly side by side afterwards. they lay their head in my lap less from then on#a bit of context they were raised a little conservative or at least not open like me. catholic. you know how it is#was it something their mom said? was it them thinking on their own? are they scared of me?#and i cant just fucking ask you know. that isnt how people work. and im overthinking one day from like half a year ago they probably dont#even remember. and their mom likes me i try to suck up to her as much as possible! their mom should trust me. ive worked so hard for that#i try not to act like im hiding anything from her. and i try to seem trustworthy. i'm good at techy things like her but i have more street#smarts i guess on what websites are safe for them to visit so i can convince her with that.#do they not trust me! does she not trust me! im fucking exhausted by overthinking this but i cant think about anything else!#i had my arm around them all day. found out later they hated it. ive felt awkward about touching them ever since#i thought id established that they need to tell me if they dont like something. but apparently they won't do that.#idk what my train of thought is at this point. idk what im thinking about#its too fucking late for this goddamn i need to stop overthinking shit
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