#littledust is out there doing yeoman's work though

[silentstep]

Why do you dislike the idea of Wen Qing being the top of a ChengQing relationship out of curiosity?

Short answer is that if it wasn't such an overwhelming majority of portrayals, I wouldn't!

slightly longer answer is that the idea that ~all het pairings have to have femdom in order to be acceptably progressive~ cuts off women from being portrayed as fully realized characters. It's a lack of willingness to explore their interiority and to allow them access to the full spectrum of humanity. Male characters are allowed to be messy. Male characters are allowed to pine and fall desperately in love and harbor fears that it's unrequited. Male characters are allowed to feel insecure and uncertain. Male characters are allowed to be loved despite all their flaws and all their mistakes and all their blind spots. Male characters are allowed to change and grow and be forgiven. Female characters have to be perfect angel goddesses who are given out to male characters as rewards to be worshipped. Let female characters down off their pedestals for once, I am begging.

*long sigh*  It’s just like… nowadays we express attraction/affection towards a female character by going WOW STEP ON ME QUEEN!!! and towards a male character by going OH THE THINGS I WANT TO DO TO HIM… >:)  HE’S SO PATHETIC AND WET

and it’s because we don’t want to be sexist and/or degrading!  I absolutely get that!  but when we’re actually writing longform narrative about specific characters, I want to be able to explore the character of the individual and the relationship, instead of just having those two sentiments writ large.  I don’t want to read about generic Character A/Character B.

and like, again, this is a problem I have with the trend, not with any individual fic. I've read and enjoyed individual fics where she's the dominant one who takes Jiang Cheng apart and makes him beg for it. But why is it all I can find? Why is she slotted into the pigeonhole of "Wei Wuxian's mean lesbian bestie, whose own life never gets any focus" in the background of every other fic? Why does she never get teased by her modern AU friends?  When does she get to be impulsive and silly?  Why does she always have to be “too smart” to get involved in shenanigans?  Why does she never get to let her guard down? When does she get to feel safe enough to relax her prickles and expose her vulnerable underbelly? Why does she never get to have vulnerabilities at all? Why does she never get to be soft, why does she never get to be sweet, why does she never get to rest and be taken care of?  Why does she always have to have everything together?  Why does she never get to appreciate or be grateful for someone else's good points, someone else's strength? Why does she have to be good at literally everything, instead of ever getting to let someone else compensate for the things she's not good at? She's lost so much, just as much as any male character in the series; why does she never get to cry and mourn and be held and comforted? Why does she always, always have to be the strong one? When does she get to put that burden down? Why is her canonical moral ambiguity never given space, when Jiang Cheng's is always portrayed as an obstacle between them? Why do her canonical wrongdoings never require forgiveness or atonement? Why doesn't she ever get portrayed as feeling guilty for the atrocities she stood by and let happen— that she outright enabled? Why does she never get to be a person?

tl;dr: every single time the male character gets to be a skrunkly meowmeow, his female love interest should also get the same treatment, dammit.