#maybe i wont leave until i die until im old and frail and when i die itll have only been a year in the real world and he'll come save me

[girldraki]

CALVIN OUROBOROS?

STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING CALVIN OUROBOROS GOD DAMN FOOL OVERSEER ASSASSINATING DUST EATING RAT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT O5-1 “THE WHORE” BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING CALVIN OUROBOROS

STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT CALVIN I HATE HIM SO MUCH WHY DOES HE HAVE SUCH FUCKED UP ETHICS WHY DID HE DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT JUST DISMANTLE THE FOUNDATION AND HE COULDNT EVEN MANAGE THAT IS HE DEAD IS HE A BASTARD MAN HAS SUCH A VISCERAL AFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM BUT IVE SEEN THIS MANS FACE AND IM TELLING YOU HE HAS THE WORLDS SHITTIEST GOATEE GET AWAY FROM ME

if i wanted to get into o5 command and hot lament said calvin is waiting inside i would piss on hot laments feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down the mountain

if i have to deal with calvin speaking one more word in person on voice in tale not only will i close the tab i will delete my bookmark out of spite and have to reread the entire way it ends again for the experience of being able to skip all the times when he is mentioned or alive which wont leave me with much but thats a fucking blessing

i dont even know why i hate him so much. hes a shitty protagonist but i am just mad because i am angy

his fucked up backstory is NOT good enough to explain this he might as well have just been some rich shithead whos a fan of creepypasta but hated the irl version im going ham

i dont even care if an anomaly made him kill a man because guess what Im going to make him

paypal.com/IFuckingHateCalvinLucien

skips not even about him. vaguely mentioned what is supposed to maybe be his proposal and I lost it

where the fuck is calvin ouroboros if hes still alive im going to so deeply wish he wasnt

crusty old man

ill punch calvin and his sad frail old man twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and he will disintegrate until all thats left is one final proposal he kept on him at all times simply titled Now You Fucked Up in more eyebleeding acs

im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point

i hope theres a date given for when calvin died or will die so i can make it a reminder on my phone

everyday once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the man who had so many fucked up if true asssassinations

[isaacathom]

ok i have a slightly expanded idea for that “villain captures hero and then ends up becoming friends” thing

so, the Villain and Hero in question are Maidens of Dark and Light, respectively, and members of two adjacent kingdoms. in the kingdom of Light, the Maidens are treated like royalty, and are the highest level below probably a specific monarch, and in practice are higher than them. they perform rituals and are regularly paraded around to the joy of a devoted majority. in the kingdom of Dark, the Maidens are still quite high a rank, but they dont have that social standing. they perform rituals, but of a more practical nature - they are charged with the kingdoms defence against its own darkness.

the idea there is that in the past, the Maidens (who are like, angelic. like they have wings and halos or shit like that) were united, before a difference of opinion broke them. those that would become Dark ended up destroying their own kingdom through their actions, tainting the soil and killing hundreds. The Light would refuse to accept any from that kingdom, under the idea that All Such were equally tainted. So the Light would prosper and the Dark would squalor, the Maidens of Dark would be forever charged with protecting their kingdom from further damage - high in title but not standing, beings cursed for their ancestors actions.

The Villain is one such Maiden of Dark, who has decided the only way to truly cleanse the darkness from her kingdom is to get a Maiden of Light to help. But, of course, those of Light refuse to interact with the Dark, even diplomatically. So she takes matters into her own hands and resolves to kidnap a Maiden of Light. Not one whose too old and experienced, but not one too young and inexperienced. hence, the kidnap of the Hero, a Maiden of aroooouund 23 or so. Then, at a suitably auspicious time, the two Maidens will rise together and cleanse her kingdom of darkness. 

I think there’d be a few moment that the Villain would meet the Hero (albeit not in a personal way). like for instance, if the dark from that kingdom is seeping through the ground towards the Light kingdom, the Maidens of Light would be charged with going to the border to banish it. And the Villain would be there, firmly and defiantly on her side of the border, empathetically begging for the Maidens of Light to help permanently banish the dark rather than leave her kingdom to decay amidst it. Crops barely cling to life, the people frail - the only ones who look healthy are the Maidens of Dark. she begs them to fix it. But before the Hero could consider her plea properly, they’d be ushered away by the guard to perform their ritualistic duty further back from the line, and a wall set up by guards to prevent the Villain from interfering. But in this exchange is a slight connection, a flicker of an expression on the Hero’s face that tells the Villain ‘shes the one who might be willing’.

later, she sneaks across the border in disguise (a bit tough but thankfully the weather makes her get up reasonable) and attends a parade for the Maidens, with blossoms and petals everywhere and song and dance. when she starts getting reaaaaaal jealous, she decides to leave, but probably knocks into something on the way out and gives away her disguise, which is spotted by a guard or Maiden. The ensuing chaos is pretty wild as the guards seek to capture and punish the Villain, who basically Nopes the fuck out. whoosh. there she goes! leaving a slightly dead trail in her wake of decaying flowers. for my dumb fun, someone probably asks the Hero to heal the plants, and she turns away.

then idk, the Villain manages to rally a small force in her home kingdom that she will use as a distraction while she sneaks into one of the Temples that the Maidens are regularly at. The Hero, when hearing about the conflict, demands to be allowed to attend to the wounded, and is eventually allowed to do so. As such, her subsequent kidnapping by the Villain is made very easy, as the tent where she was performing a small ritual (for like, idk, godly blessings) wasn’t well defended as the troops were out to battle. The Hero took it pretty well, all things considered, going along willingly after the Villain promised to call off her forces the moment the Hero was properly secured. And she kept her word. the villain basically always kept her word.

then while holding her waiting for AUspicious she feels sorry for her, offers to let her read any of her book collection or watch some animes she has, and then Bam. best friends. which makes it really awkward when the Light army FINALLY arrives, a week later than the deadline (the Villain had told them they had 2 weeks to get back the Maiden under the assumption itd get them to Fucking Do Something and maybe carve a path of light soil through her kingdom to help while she waited for an eclipse. uhhh they were slow) and its like “we’re here for the maiden!” “she doesnt want to go, actually” “excuse me?” “she’s right. i dont really wanna go. its pretty nice here” “they’ve brainwashed the Maiden!” “we dont have brainwashing powers??? the fuck are you talking about” “im here of my own free will now” “save the Maiden!” “far out”

and then they get to have a fun duel together to hold the light army back and one of the other ‘heroes’ (like a captain of the guard with a crush on the Hero or smth) comes in close and kisses her in an effort to like, idk, ‘snap her out of it’, and she either just knocks him back or actually kills him. the latter would probably send a stronger message (and scare the shit out of the Villain, wh had basically resolved to never kill someone personally if she didnt HAVE to, because she had a good goal in there, yknow) but idk if she would. maybe just a severe injury, one that would require immediate Maiden attention. and the army goes silent and looks back between the Hero and the Captain until the Hero goes “he doesn’t have time for you to wait around. Take him home.” and two others come forward to pick up the captain and slowly carry him out while the rest look on in just horror. the general consensus is that theyve completely tainted the Hero, turned her to darkness, even though the magic she used on the Captain was clearly of Light origin. but whatever. eventually the rest of the army leaves, vowing to return, or smth.

then im not completely sure what happens but now that the Villain is basically 100% positive that the Hero does want to be there, and does want to help, they start work on the ritual immediately, figuring out that will be required and the spells they need, which the Villain had already been gathering for a while. idk if they’d succeed, or maybe its only a partial success - they cleanse an area, but not the whole kingdom, or something like that. im not quite sure how this resolves. one immediate option is that the Captain ends up killing either the Hero or the Villain, which ends poorly for all involved. like, if the Hero ws killed, the entire Dark kingdom would be set back to square 1 because the Villain would practically explode with darkness. Captain would be dead as fuck. if the villain died, itd be the reverse, but the captain would still die, the Hero would refuse to return to the Light kingdom. however i dont want to go down that route because i want the two of them to be really cute together and it just seems kinda gross to do that. the alt is an ALMOST death, to much the same result, except that they dont die (the captain definitely does, though). if its an almost death, i think id prefer the Villain have that, because then the Hero could Lightsplode and get to straight up kill the Captain which i think would be very fun for their whole relationship dynamic. She had the power to the end, really.

this probably wont go anywhere but i think its fun!