#me the next day: 🤷‍���️

[endiness]

the batman lb

~

okay, i guess i'll reserve my commentary to a lb now instead of spamming.

when is a batman property gonna be brave enough to make alfred posh again. bruce pulling the "you're not my real dad" card on alfred. like, legitimately, is this supposed to be a comedy. how did people watch this in theatres and not crack the FUCK up, it is beyond me.

you have THREE hours. why are you speedrunning the cypher. like, why is this so fast paced? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THE REST OF THE TIME IN THIS MOVIE IF THIS IS HOW YOU'RE SPENDING IT NOW. I AM CONCERNED. when this movie isn't unintentionally funny, it's just boring. i mean, why else would you just take a thumb? obvs it would be used to unlock something, duh. also, like, what'd you think was gonna happen putting that mystery usb into your computer? maybe put it into a burner with no personal information and network connection on it next time, maybe.

WHY'D YOU MAKE HIS BOOTS SO STUPIDLY STOMPY. IT SOUNDS FUCKING DUMB. also it just makes me think clang, clang, thunk, scrape. it'd be funnier if this were some bdsm club and then batman would come in and nobody would bat (hehe) an eyelash at his outfit choice. HEY, GUYS, DID YOU KNOW THIS CHICK IS CATWOMAN? LOOK AT ALL THE CATS. DO YA GET IT? DO YA GET IT??? everything about this batcat scene is bad and dumb. also, they don't have chemistry.

why is the place SO destroyed. there's TOO MUCH evidence. it's the riddler? are sure? are you sure you aren't mr jigsaw man? are you really certain? LMAO IT'S LITERALLY JUST JIGSAW THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING. THAT EVERYTHING IN THIS MOVIE IS PLAYED COMPLETELY STRAIGHT. "you got a lot of cats." yeah, duh, bruce. how else would we know she's catwoman. the audience is completely stupid and has to have everything spelled out to them, don't you know anything? (the sad thing is that's true. people ARE that stupid these days. ugh, why'd y'all have to ruin it for the rest of us with brains.)

"they injected him with arsenic." "rat poison." also known as: poison. "what kind of demented sob does this to a person?" jigsaw! :) oh sorry, did you want me to say riddler? but i don't see him anywhere 🤷‍ anyway, remember when jim carrey was riddler. that was at least fun, wasn't it. the complete lack of batcat chemistry lmao. I'M NOT EVEN AN HOUR INTO THIS MOVIE 😭 hey, y'know what makes up for a total lack of chemistry? the old bickering married couple trope, especially for characters that've known each other for like 5 seconds. jk, that's bad. don’t do that. selina would be more interesting if she were just her own character and not selina or catwoman and also if this movie would let her exclusively be about her friend and not, like, batcat nonsense.

when the riddler isn't jigsaw'ing it up he's brainy'ing it up. (y'know, brainy. from hey arnold.) the riddler just blunt force trauma'ing all his victims is so funny. like, i've watched criminal minds. i know that means you're just a coward. especially since you have to get them all when their backs are turned. coward. like, legit, are you supposed to find the riddler in this intimidating? because he isn't. he's funny when he's lurking behind people as if that's somehow supposed to be scary when it isn't, and he's hilarious when he's smashing people's heads in because he must have so non-existent self-esteem that's the only way he feels comfortable enough to attack people, and then he's also funny when he's trying to be the riddler because you're actually just coming up with saw traps. I'M STILL NOT EVEN AN HOUR INTO THIS MOVIE.

oh yay, forcing this batcat narrative despite them having no chemistry. and selina genuinely being a better character far, far away from him. also, you have to keep up appearances beCAUSE YOU NEED A COVER STORY, YOU BAFOON. joker did everything about this better. full offense but pattinson's bruce sucks. he's so boring and awkward. and like, not in a good way like how bruce should be. 'cause he should be a lil awkward. but he should at least be able to FAKE being mr eligible bachelor man, if literally only for appearance and cover's story sake. the bruce in this feels like everybody interviewed about him after he has been convicted of being batman would go "yeah, that kid was always a fuckin' weirdo, i ain't surprised at all." JOKER DID EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS BETTER, FFS.

i'd get out of there. a smart person would've made that car a bomb. i guess making the person inside of it is the same thing. this is so fucking boring, honestly. 🙄 AND I'VE STILL 2 HOURS LEFT. clang, clang, thunk, scrapeeeee. batman has come to uh... untape. that man's mouth. "*heavy breathing*" IT'S BRAINY, Y'ALL! no, you're nygma. e nygma. edward nygma. lmao, joker did all of this so much better. this movie is SO embarrassing. really, i'd have thought since you were a child, you loved the saw movie franchise. 🤷‍ bruce, i don't think you're supposed to be helping him cheat. but is riddler gonna call you out or. is that gonna happen when you get to the third one and bruce has answered them all for you. oh, that didn't happen. lame.

the idea that batman would somehow survive a point blank explosion to his face when it took off the other guy's head who he was literally right next to when the bomb exploded... now you've broken my immersion on top of everything else. if you're going to be afraid of somebody high up on the food chain in a corrupt justice system, i'd think you've be afraid of like... the mayor? not whoever the fuck that guy is. OHMYGOD, JIM IS FAKING INTERROGATING BATMAN????? WHO??? COULD HAVE FORSEEN??? THIS??????? does the movie think this looks cool? i hope it knows it looks lame.

somebody add that whip noise effect for how often this scene is switching between coverage of bruce and jim lmao. why doesn't batman just upload all of this evidence to like tiktok or something. modern day technology exists in this iteration. he's actually being extremely ineffective as batman by not doing that. STOP PRETENDING THAT BATCAT IN THIS HAVE CHEMISTRY. THEY DON'T. shouldn't bruce be like brain dead with how many successive concussions that he's had at this point. bruce revving his engine like this is somehow supposed to be intimidating... embarrassing. i must have THE most bored expression on my face watching this chase scene. LOOK IT'S THE SCENE FROM HEAVY RAIN! how does this scene have any stakes. did anybody watch this and care about what was happening. i mean i guess now there's stakes that poor innocent people are being sucked in this clusterfuck lol. but i mean for the main characters? eh, who cares. oh look the car is flipping, you can tell because it's that shot of the stuff in the car goin’ nuts. LOOK HOW COOL BATMAN LOOKS UPSIDE DOWN IN THE RAIN WITH THE FIRE AND HIS STOMPY STOMPY BOOTS. HE'S SUPER COOL, RIGHT GUYS? AND WITH THE SUPER COOL MUSIC PLAYING? WE MADE A GOOD MOVIE, RIGHT? that's what i assume the people who made this movie were thinking.

when i can even take them saying the riddler seriously i just hear method man saying the riddler. *takes a 3min dance break for the song* i'm not joking, i took a break to listen that song. OH THANK CHRIST. i am halfway through this movie. THE EVIL IS 50% DEFEATED. 🎶 THE RIDDLAR 🎶 this movie is soooooo bad lol. i mean el also means god. is that gonna be a thing lol. remember when jon glover voiced the riddler. that was fun, wasn't it? remember when lost did this bit with the old school technology? that was fun, wasn't it? THE TOWER? THE TOWER THAT JEREMIAH DESIGNED? is that what you're talking about? okay, but fr, why is there an HOUR AND A HALF OF THIS MOVIE LEFT.

ohno, bruce, you've put alfred in danger by existing AND after you've already pulled the "you're not my dad" card on him. that's sad, huh. "i'm afraid it already has, sir." dory is hilarious. unintentionally. please explain how alfred is doing so poorly despite at least THROWING THE BOMB AWAY FROM HIM but meanwhile bruce survived a fucking point blank explosion. POINT BLANK. LITERALLY RIGHT FUCKING NEXT TO HIM. like, you can either have realism or fantastical. YOU HAVE TO PICK ONE. YOU CAN'T HAVE BOTH SOMETIMES AND OTHER TIMES NOT. every time this movie thinks it's being cool my eyes just roll. 🙄

THEY DON'T HAVE CHEMISTRY. STOP. everything about this is getting lamer and lamer 🙄 THERE'S STILL OVER AN HOUR LEFT. i mean, the joker also thought bruce's parents were his when they weren't. did you get a dna test done or. why's it so laaaaaaaaaame. why are they kissing. this doesn't make sense. ugH. now, you could make this acceptable if she stole shit off of him.

"martha was in and out of asylums" joker!martha canon??? okay. i highly dislike this version of bruce. he is just *sad trombone noise* i don't want *sad trombone noise* for a bruce. ...didn't i play this scene in a batman game or something. why is the plot for this just jumping everywhereeeeeeeee. *sad trombone noise* is so boring. all of the wayne manor designs (sans gotham) have been bad since 90s batman ended. 💅 bruh, he just woke up. calm down. what, you did nothing for your mom? RUDE. ....i miss when alfred got to be posh. i do not accept any of you non-posh alfreds. 🙈 this scene is so touching. is what somebody would say who is possibly easily manipulated i guess. not me though.

i just. do not like this selina. there are only two selina's for me and they are from batman returns and btas. why would you do this plot and make everything so boring when you could've just done white knight. except whoever made this would've just made that boring too. "come on, vengeance." pls stop. literally every time this movie is like look how cool this is, it's just the lamest shit ever.

now it's like you're trying to copy batman returns but like. you have to know batman returns did it better, right. right. if all of you stopped monologuing, you'd solve all of your problems. like, at all. instead of not at all. omg, she scratched him. like a cat. get it. 'cause she's catwoman. GET IT. DO YOU GET IT. everything about this is just the lamest. i mean, batman's secretly recording everything he sees and hears so perhaps not. THERE'S STILL ALMOST A FUCKING HOUR LEFT.

i was going to make a joke about the riddler sniping falcone but i guss it wasn't a joke, huh. i hope it is the riddler who shot him because that makes actually no fucking sense whatsoever. so it's perfect for this movie! remember how fun the riddler's place was in batman forever and they played bad days by the flaming lips? that was fun, wasn't it? ohmygod, is he drawing a question mark in his cappuccino or whatever. because that'd just be. so clever of this movie. so clever and creative. i am not at all being sarcastic. IT'S THE ONE THAT SAYS E NYGMA. AS IN NYGMA. EDWARD NYGMA. oh, movie, you're just oh so creative and clever to have him draw a question mark in his coffee. i'm so super duper impressed by you and your storytelling skills!

no, his name is edward nygma. "suffocating my mind no escape" yeah yeah cut my life into pizza, we get it. "he's got like 500 followers." i have a lot more followers than that. on tumblr. tumblr. wow, is it: I'M GONNA SAY WHO BATMAN IS. i, for one, would gladly have this be the end of THE batman. 'cause this movie is bad and you're a bad lame-o batman, full offense.

...is that collar a joke, because you could easily slip it over your head. like, it's much larger than his head. okay, so on top of being jigsaw and brainy, he's also literally just stanley coleman too? dumb. man, you know things in places like this are recorded, right? or did you stop the cameras? kinda looks like they're still recording so uh, you're kinda already fucked. where's the joker to pop in a bitchslap the fuck out of riddler and be like "WE ALL KNOW HE'S BRUCE, YOU MORON. YOU'RE RUINING THE GAME WITH BATMAN FOR THE REST OF US." the joker did this way better. 🙄 WHY THE FUCK IS THERE STILL OVER 30 MINS OF THIS MOVIE LEFT. why'd people give joker so much shit when this movie and character exists lol. bruh, are you faking this or like everything in this movie: is this supposed to be unironically played straight. let's fast forward outta this scene already pls.

i am at the point where if i could run this movie at 2x speed, i would be already. alas, i cannot. now you're just stealing from jeremiah and gotham. LAME. literally every single thing this movie is copying... everything else did it better lol. jeremiah already did this and he's so much cooler this is so unfair 😤 LITERALLY GOTHAM ALREADY DID THIS AND IT WAS SO MUCH COOLER UGH. also, like, year one/zero year was the inspiration for both, right. BUT GOTHAM LEGITIMATELY DID THIS BETTER AND COOLER.

ohno, the dumbass mayor who thinks she knows better than everyone else got shot. how terrible. also, i totally have emotional investment in all of this characters and not. literally none. oh yay, it's the look how cool batman is fight scenes. yay. waiting for the moment when batman gets saved by catwoman 'cause this is super lame and that's one of the lamest things that could happen. oh i'm sub 30 mins, yay! this random villain taking for fucking ever to just shoot batman when he could've just shot him. lame. also, hey, catwoman stopped him and saved batman. who could have forseen this totally not lame turn of events.

remember when the joker and batman were bleeding out and their blood was making a broken heart on the ground. anyway, that was more romantic than this nonsense. so now he's just using magic juice to pump himself up? lmao. what even is this. "i'm vengeance." yeah, it sounds lame af doesn't it. i know that's not the real reason. but it should be. isn't the entire city there getting deded lol. LMAO ARE YOU FOR REAL. THIS IS SO FUCKING LAME. like, your epic "oh batman dies" moment is him being a fucking moron and cutting an electrical wire to stop it from electrocuting people except THEN you fucking chicken out and don't even have him die (or ‘die’)? EVEN THOUGH YOU SHOT IT AS A DEATH SCENE MOMENT. HOW MUCH FUCKING LAMER CAN THIS MOVIE GET, JESUS. all tea all shade all offense but batfleck did this better. look at how ~emotional and ~moving this scene is. totally not schlocky as hell. wait, was that the dumbass mayor who's there? who got shot? bitch, you're gonna die in those waters. your wound is getting super infected. that's sad huh.

OH YAY THE EMO MUSIC STARTS. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO COME ON WE'VE RETURNED TO THE RORSCHACH VOICE OVER NARRATIONS?????????? THIS IS SO SAD FOR YOU. I'M SO EMBARRASSED FOR YOU. THIS IS REALLY PATHETIC, Y'ALL. ugh, when is this gonna be over. somebody soundproof the riddler's cell. YOU CAN'T SUCK ME IN WITH BATJOKES. I WON'T FALL FOR THIS. is this how it's gonna end. on them. having no chemistry.  "you're already spoken for." YEAH, BY THE JOKER. i mean, not this batman. he's *sad trombone noise* and deserves no jokers. but like, batmans in general. they are all spoken for. (by the joker.) all you have to do is end the movie and you're still making it lame. YAY, IT'S OVER. I'M FREE. anyway, gotham did all of this, everything in this movie, but better. go watch gotham. 💅

[houseofpaincakes]

Would you rather get the series X or series S?

Do you think Gears 6 will only be on next gen (and PC) or do you think it’ll be on last gen too?

I'd rather get the X. Doesn't the S have less storage space or something? Every game these days is like 90gbs

I think Gears 6 is far away enough that itll be exclusive to next gen, yeah. Hopefully by that point the console will be available to regular folks (like myself) who do not want to camp outside a best buy to get one

I'd be pretty surprised if they veer away from Kait being the protag. At most they might have us play as someone else for a little while but it will be mostly Kait again. That's what I'm expecting at least. She gets rid of the swarm connection like halfway thru the game anyway so pbbbbth 🤷‍

It'd be awesome if we got to play as Marcus again for a little bit....but at the same time...let Marcus rest.

Ugh the choice...Well, I chose to save Del because I was playing with a friend who was playing as Del so I felt like I couldn't kill off the second player? lmao I know that's stupid but I panicked. but also I was like...there is no way they'll really kill off one of these characters in such a stupid way. There is no way they'd have us choose which of these characters dies. And also like...would Kait have even picked JD? She was with Del the whole game who had been so sweet and loyal and protective!! But then I had to watch Marcus's reaction to JD being dead and I felt sick. I couldn't even pay attention to the rest of the game. And I know people are saying there will be a canon death to go into Gears 6 so like...how fuckin pointless. Fuck that choice, fuck those writers

All Gary skins are instant buys for me

Black steel is better on everyone, imo

And yeah he'd probably just be in some desaturated looking grey vest...it wouldn't look nearly as cool. But I'd still buy it.