#more in a 'you clearly did not live through the WTNV and Bill Cipher eras of tumblr if you think actual sexyman [name redacted]

[redwinterroses]

some of y'all seem to be unaware of exactly what constitutes a tumblr sexyman so please allow someone who has been around since before Nightvale aired attempt to clarify:

a tumblr sexyman is not sexy* by default/in canon. a tumblr sexyman is only sexy because they have been so delightfully misrepresented by fandom that they have come to be portrayed as sexy with no direct canon support.

(*"sexy" here meaning "conventionally attractive and/or cool." The population of this site has very wide and varied ideas about what sexy actually is. this is why we have tumblr sexymen.)

If in the source material they:

are a bit of a wet cat, a bit of a derp

if they do things like put their green-screened facecam on a bit of lime glass in the hotbar

or mute so they can panic without other people hearing and say things like "...ah ha. so." about twelve times per episode

or open their episodes with an "awwwwww yeeeaaaah" and a giggle because even they can't believe they're that derpy

or ramble on and on about tomatoes and their adorable two-year-old while being just the chillest Guy Ever

or literally call themselves a spoon on a regular basis -- fully justified in doing so

and yet all the fanart of them is "cool eldritch being in neon shades" or "mysterious ninja who can outsmart you every time," or "deep sea monster creature with godlike powers" or "scary and hot shirtless monster cyborg man" or "suave possible vampire" --

that is a character that has been sexymanified.