#my boss read my email out loud to my coworkers & they're whooping & hollering

[lizard-business]

"Let me be sure I'm understanding this correctly" is like the first shot fired on a battlefield of email starters. People always talk about "per my last email" as the business-talk equivalent of calling someone a complete moron, but "let me be sure I'm understanding you correctly" is the business-talk equivalent of "I'm about to tell you exactly how you fucked up" followed by a bulletpoint list of the recipient's crimes