#n i'd be like 'yep sure buddy i'm not gonna stop you! but i'm setting my boundaries right here' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rubberbandballqueen · 1 year

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yesterday at work, the kids had to like, make their own puzzles by drawing stuff on paper n then cutting them into pieces n stuff, n this one kid came up to me saying that the kid sitting next to him was saying mean things, n the second kid was like, "it wasn't me, it was him!" n pointed at the creature he'd drawn for his puzzle.

i didn't really know how to handle the situation (though thinking about it, i probably should have just said that just bc the creature was saying mean things abt his friend didn't mean he was in the right for passing on those thoughts), so i just told him i didn't want to solve his puzzle if the creature it featured was gong to be so mean to other people, and for some reason it worked??

i guess it's just easy to forget how deeply children care about what adults think bc of how we as adults have learned to not care so much abt what other people think and operate on the assumption that others don't automatically care abt our thoughts.

#the worm speaks #it felt difficult to handle in the moment bc i don't want to stifle children's compulsion to explore ideas n concepts through fiction #specifically bc fiction and fantasy are very harmless spaces; but obviously what was being made was being used as a vehicle to bully others #and that was absolutely in need of correcting #and i wasn't sure how to reprimand that w/o possibly teaching kids to conflate something bad happening in fantasy #with doing bad things to others in reality #anyway thinking abt it today when making this post helped me pinpoint how to handle it next time #i.e. that kids are agents in their own right and they have the choice to pass things on to others #whether that be something kind and true like compliments; or mean and vicious like bullying; or even literal germs and disease!!#anyway the second kid actually seemed really nice once i insisted that i didn't want to do his puzzle bc it featured something mean #n like obviously i didn't want to tell kids that the things they make up are automatically reflections of the kind of person THEY are #bc that's super not true!!! but i poked abt asking him a couple questions abt it n that's how he ended up telling me 'he told me to say it'#'he lives inside of my head' n i was like 'hmm.' bc he's pretty young... first grade i think? so maybe a reflection of meaner impulses #but i'm not him! i can't say that for certain! n i don't believe in making those kinds of assumptions about people #so i guess the way i handled it was basically saying i didn't want to interact w/people who are influenced by others to be mean #i guess i'm always expecting to be working w/teenagers who'd be like 'you don't get it! i'm gonna make my own choices!'#n i'd be like 'yep sure buddy i'm not gonna stop you! but i'm setting my boundaries right here'#i have a bit of beef with how some of my coworkers treat kids-- like none of them are outright cruel i think #but i don't think some of them are being genuinely responsible with how they interact. i think it's good that they all try to be nice #n some take that to mean 'treat them like your friends!' (proceeds to gaslight kids abt whether a certain snack was available)#(n when the kids called them out they were like 'we're teaching kids to think for themselves! n to be confident in their own experiences')#like. i don't think that picking out the snacks you like before feeding the kids is right. we are not kings; we are caretakers #n like i can see how that can be kind of a joke one might make in certain flavors of friend groups but like. certainly not to a child.#one plays obvious favorites; others place restrictions w/o explaining why they're there (bc they're obvious to adults)#n tbh i'm probably a headache myself bc i'm ~probably~ enabling kids in some way so i'm not gonna condemn the ones who #tell kids 'no you can't do that' w/o much explanation. n i think for the most part they're all trying #but i STILL disagree w/my now-gone supervisor who insisted that i treat kids the way i do 'bc it's in my nature/personality'#it most CERTAINLY is not!!!!! i was SUCH a hater of ANYONE younger than me for a LONG TIME growing up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i had to be TAUGHT these things. i had to LEARN to LISTEN to kids and take them seriously!!!!!!!!!#a kid on friday told me he had mixed feelings abt some of his older friends possibly becoming youth workers at the camp in the summer

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