#never manages to live up to its potential bc he's just so flat and fails to fulfill even his role as the ishgardian foil to nid.hogg

[tovaicas]

sorry I'm whinging about these dungeons again bc I just hate them

[oxfordeliterp]

CONGRATULATIONS, JEN!

You have been accepted to play the role of CORDELIA MCQUEEN with the faceclaim of ALEXANDRA PARK. Please create your account and send it to the main in the next 24 hours. Another difficult decision that I had to sadly make between two applications with edge, that showed the same amount of potential and skill as well as two different sides of the same pale cheek, both leaving me open-mouthed. Yet, I believe that your dedication and your connection with Cordelia are one of a kind. It is remarkable how you can know and understand so much about a character you haven’t even played yet, and I want to thank you for your loyalty to the biography, as well as the creative input. What I have always loved about Cordelia is her transparency, even wearing opaque black, and you managed to show her fickleness and loneliness at once. Incredible work!

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

Name and pronouns: Jen, she/her

Age: I’m feeling 22

Time-zone: GMT

Activity level: I was working as a waitress, technically still do which is why my completion of this app has taken so long when I did 50 hours a week. But by the time this roleplay hits its acceptance date I’ll have worked my last shift and I’ll be going into an admin job which is set hours and in theory that should allow me enough time to get on around once a day. I feel like I’ve rambled but I felt like I needed to explain a little, sorry XD

Triggers:  removed for privacy

IN CHARACTER INFORMATION

Desired character: Cordelia McQueen. As you know, my interest was grabbed by Cordelia right away from the little snipet I saw of her in Victoria’s connection and my affection has only grown for her to incredible amounts having read her bio and stalked the tag you so kindly shared with us. I was going to wait until all the bios were released (a couple of others had my attention too, and while I know currently all the bios are out at the time I started working on this that wasn’t the case. I’m just slow as the perfectionist kicks in) but my heart is now fully set on Cordelia and I just hope I can do justice to this beautiful, sad girl. Upon my first reading of her bio, my heart broken for her several times throughout it as the depth of her sadness became clearer and clearer. She’s a girl from a fractured family who never quite fit in with her parent’s expectations completely that had the one person who accepted her as she was taken from her too. But she’s so much more than just that and every time I reread her bio I see something new and what writer doesn’t want to get the chance to play someone who is full of layers? Cordelia is a bit of a deviation from muses I usually play and I would be honoured if I could be the one to bring her to life, knowing that I’d be pushing myself and challenging myself and that on it’s own is enough for me to keep diving into her character and getting further under her skin. One of the biggest draws to her is how she fits into the group as an individual when she is so aloof and holds herself above everyone else. For me, one of the most rewarding things about her will be watching her interact with everyone else and seeing who brings out little nuances of emotion or even just something of an opinion when she does her best to remain silent or neutral. Of course, another aspect of this is where her loyalties will end up lying when it comes to the conflict between members of the Quarrel Club and the Riot Club and of course with the main arc of the roleplay and whether she thinks that Marc did it or not. I feel like there’s so many directions she could go in when she’s possibly the most neutral muse from all the bios I’ve read and one way or another it’ll be telling which side she picks- if she picks at all- and I would love to be the one exploring all of those posibilities.

Gender and pronouns of the character: Female, she/her

Changes: I think she’s completely perfect just the way she is.

Traits: Cordelia is above all extremely resilient despite having resigned herself to a life of feeling almost empty she refuses to give up completely on life. She’s aloof and difficult to get close to but if you ever manage to get past the distance she makes sure exists between her and the rest of the world, there’s still some softness there hidden in her tired soul. There’s a recognition that she’s different from everyone else, even her own family but she sticks to her guns and refuses to change, even though deep down I feel like she does crave affection- but more than that it’s acceptance that she wants from people. To just be enough for someone like she was for her uncle even if now she’s a little more hollow than she was then.

While so much of her mannerisms are just who she is, the decision to hold herself above everyone is a conscious one as much as it’s just the way she is. After losing the most important person to her I feel like she’s put walls up as much as she’s embraced the emotionless-ness that life created when it hollowed out everything she loved. She chooses to live in her own head because there’s a familiarness to it

Spending all her time in her own head is another of her coping mechanisms. It leaves her above the pressure of having to please people or at the mercy of worrying what they think about her and that is how she’s able to cope with all her sadness and the instability of her life when herself has been her only constant. It lets her go through life in her own way without letting herself and how she’s feeling depend on other people- she’s entirely at her own mercy at there’s a certain power in that that allows her to be assured enough to continue on the path she’s on.

While she may come across as cold and uncaring, it’s really more of a neutrality that causes her to be so disinterested in people. Cordelia very makes a firm decision about anyone and on those rare occasions that she does it’s never something that she would vocalise. She’s someone who would always leave you guessing about herself, happy to hear you talk her ear off about yourself if it meant that she never had to admit anything personal about herself.

Extras: Having thought long and hard about it and trawled through the Oxford courses page, I finally settled on the first course that jumped out at me for Cordelia and that was Fine Art. I feel as though she has the same creative talent as her uncle, even if she is slightly less vocal about it and it’s something she tends to keep to herself when it makes people point out similarities and differences between them. It’s the one form of expression that she allows herself now that she’s stopped dancing. I’ve gone into her feelings about it a little more in her para sample but I feel like it’s the degree that makes the most sense for her.

Anything else I’ve managed to put together for her you’ll be able to find here which there is currently more than one page of and I’ll maybe add to as I think of more (also number one reason why this app took me so long bc I am a perfectionist when it comes to graphics)

PARA SAMPLE

I ended up doing two because I couldn’t get the two of them to flow into each other smoothly although it could be argued that one happens in the afternoon and the other in the evening.

Her nose crinkles slightly in an uncharacteristic show of emotion as her eyes trail over the canvas in front of her with nothing but criticism and disappointment echoing faintly in their depths. The image that she’d seen so clearly in her mind had yet to transfer itself into a physical copy and there was a faint sense of frustration building that despite her brushstrokes being as precise and delicate as her dancing had been, they had yet to accomplish what she wanted from them. With a smooth movement she’s placing her paintbrush down to take a step back from what she’s trying to create to see if that gives her a better perspective of where she was going wrong.

The critical glint in her eyes doesn’t fade and once again she becomes her own worst nightmare as she tortures herself some more with memories of her uncle and the vivid designs his deft fingers used to leave on paper. It came so naturally to him and there hadn’t been a day spent with him that she hadn’t been transfixed by watching him work. The designs had been her favourite but seeing them come to life was almost as enchanting when she’d always envied how he could bring them to life with an ease that she never seemed to manage.

Logically she could acknowledge that it was never totally easy for him when all artists seemed to struggle with their work at one time or another but her mind never failed to drive a wedge between her and the family member she’d always classed herself as closest to at times like these. More often than not comparisons drawn were favourable but this time, as with everytime that she painted, it only made her want to give up for the day when there seemed little point torturing herself over it.

So Cordelia washed her hands and removed her apron, with it removing all flashes of colour from her form. It’s too telling, she’d decided in her first year, to leave paint smudges all over her clothes and skin when she’d always preferred to give so little about herself away. There was no chance of anyone finding her lack or damaged that way or discovering the depth of the sadness that had made its home in her bones long ago and was as much a part of her as her lips or hands. It was unshakable and by now it was the one constant in her life that she was quite convinced that without its weight she’d feel too unbalanced to cope.

Satisfied that she’s scrubbed enough of the paint flecks from herself, she paints her lips back on with a flash of red before switching her comfortable flats for the red-soled high heels that complete the look she knows that she’s known for on the campus. Thankfully it all came naturally to her, an innate knack for picking the very best for herself and piecing an outfit together to not only get the best out of her features but the clothes themselves.. Though she can’t help but supposed that even if she weren’t able to carry the look she favoured so well, she’d still be just as hollow inside for it not to mean a thing to her.

More solemness rests in her eyes than usual as she takes in her surroundings, flute of champagne balanced gracefully between delicate fingers. A sigh is hiding behind her lips, weariness for the evening that was before her already creeping in before she reminds herself that it was her choice to attend and put herself in that position. There was no hostility felt towards the others that surrounded her, just a marked difference that had followed her through life. It was something she’d found a resigned acceptance in, not being able to bring herself to care enough to make any changes to the way she was in order to fit into the group that surrounded her more smoothly.

Instead she stood on the fringes of the party, fulfilling the role of the perfect lady that she had started to embody, shoulders gracefully back and posture that held the type of perfection only a dancer could achieve. With a measured but fluid move of her arm Cordelia raises her glass to take a sip of the sparkling drink in her hand knowing that the bubbles in it won’t have any success in making her lighter when she’s so happy staying in the shadows.

Still, it isn’t her intention to wile the evening away lurking in the corner sipping champagne like some sad loner when she knew plenty of other attendees at the little gathering. It was all just a question of who would handle her company the best out of all those in the room. While she could manage to get on well enough with the likes of Windsor, Arkwright, Armstrong and Bellefonte when she wanted to - her poker face was without match after all- she wasn’t quite fancying the energy it would take to interact with one of them. Casting her eyes around once again they inevitably found the form of her stepbrother, as always never far from that pretty, polished Hastings.

A familiar spark that shatters all her shadows and brings back memories of that one lapse that she’d allowed them. That brush of lips against her that she’d retreated from as quickly as her thoughts came back to her because those few heartbeats of contact had made her feel more than all her countless one night stands with nameless men had. He was wholly too enticing and intoxicating, a danger to the uneven equilibrium she clung to and called sanity. With him, what was now her world was in jeopardy and no matter how what was left of her heart sung and cried out for him, Cordelia had never quite managed to let herself surrender to what was between them when it meant entirely too much risk.

So she decides against her stepbrother, choosing to leave him with his pretty, perfect little blonde girlfriend while trying her best to ignore that faint echoing pang of envy, and adjust her course towards the Zerilli siblings, having always found them somewhat refreshing in a social group that had the potential to be confining if you didn’t know how to play your part right.

[princesscolumbia]

These were obviously written by someone who doesn’t have children

Anonymous said:im genuinely happy for you that your coming out was able to help your parents and that you were accepted by them and the environment for you was a supportive one, i really am i promise theres no sarcasm here, but do try to remember that a LOT of us lgbt folk have homophobic parents who sadly dont learn from their kids being lgbt, and instead hate us, abuse us, disown us, etc. the reason people are upset is bc they feel like you're undermining that and saying the abuse is "worth it"

Anonymous said:but the point is that a parent learning a valuable lesson isn't worth their child's safety. why should an innocent young person end up risking their livelihood? the statistics of homeless queer youth prove that it's not worth the risk.

Anonymous said:gay kids are not a lesson for homophobic parents. homophobic parents abuse us, homophobic parents kick us out, homophobic parents get us killed.

Anonymous said:you have to understand that not all parents are like yours. most parents completely hate their gay/trans kids and would rather put them through conversion therapy or ignore their gayness/transness than accept their kid as they are. sometimes they would rather have a dead cishet kid than a living gay/trans kid. a gay kid having homophobic parents isnt a punishment for the parents; its a punishment for the kid.

All four of these came in nearly at once, and I suspect that they were all the same person, so I’m just going to address them all at once:

Honey, sweetie, darling child...your experience is not universal any more than mine is. When you focus on the headlines that are intentionally written to be sensationalist and rustle your jimmies, you develop the same tunnel-vision that cops do; you’re only going to see the worst in humanity.

Couple that with the above comments clearly coming from someone who isn’t responsible for preparing a child to face the big, wide world. Yes, there’s people who are such monumental cock-bites that you’d think they’re getting paid for it (my ex-wife’s family comes to mind) but the vast majority of parents are really just overgrown teenagers making shit up as they go along and wondering how their parents ever managed. They don’t know any better than the next person, and often they’re getting bad advice from well meaning people who know even less than they do, but they don’t know it’s bad advice and they don’t know the people dispensing it are the wrong people to ask in the first place.

My ex-wife is in for a world of pain when my daughter gets old enough to start dating. Why? Because our daughter is most likely gender-queer and is showing signs of being only attracted to women. She’s got friends that are boys, but has shown zero inclination towards “church approved” heterosexual attraction; meanwhile, she’s flat out told me that she likes girls. She’s a little young to make that determination for sure (heaven’s knows I didn’t really understand my own attractions until I was in my early 20′s, even if I was sexually active in my mid-teens), but I’m willing to bet with how early the women in my family start puberty that she simply has a clear idea what her orientation is already. My ex-wife drank the kool-aid that her family served about how LGBT people are all inherently evil and sinners. My ex-wife gets to have a wonderful little learning experience where she gets to grow as a person or lose her daughter.

That’s not going to be fun for either of them. Hell, it won’t be fun for me. (I’m not looking forward to being referee in that particular argument, and you know I’m going to be “blamed” for it) My daughter is going to get a chance to learn and grow from her figuring things out. My ex-wife is going to get a chance to learn and grow from our daughter figuring these things out. Neither of them gets to force the other to accept their opinion any more than you get to force my ex-wife to accept our daughter.

(Sidebar: For those who might be worried about the possibility of my daughter being sent to any sort of “conversion therapy” or some similar nonsense, there’s a clause in the divorce contract stating that I have full veto rights to any medical treatments our daughter is put through, and that includes anything like a “conversion camp” or similar. I didn’t know I’d be needing that clause for this purpose at the time, but I’m damn glad I fought for it)

Every parent of an LGBT kid has to learn, grow, and change once they find out that their child doesn’t fit into the mainstream. Most parents eventually figure it out and accept their child’s choice, if for no other reason than they know that said “child” is their own person and by the time the dust clears said person is over 18 and can do whatever the fuck they want and the parent either gets to play nice or never see that child again. This does NOT mean that ALL parents will learn that they should love their kids and grow their heart and mind, and when the parent chooses not to learn those lessons, that means they fail. They lose that connection with their child and deep down they know they screwed up. They’ll either learn and grow and get over it, or they’ll go to their grave knowing how badly they screwed up and be too stubborn to actually do anything about it.

Further, not everything a parent does that hurts the child is done to hurt the child. A well-meaning but clueless parent has just as much (if not more) to learn about their child’s orientation/gender-presentation as their child. These imperfect beings are usually doing their damndest to raise a kid, and now they are the odd-person out among their peer group, and all because of something that they have no control over. (Sound familiar?)

A good, christian, Republican father who thought he was raising three boys finds out he’s got two boys and a trans-girl is going to be so far out of his element he might as well be a pet store goldfish piloting a space shuttle. He has zero frame of reference and he’s just lost a son. He’s got to go through a learning process, he’s got to question everything he believes in, he’s got to go against the grain so hard that splinters are inevitable, he’s got to go through the grieving process, and he’s got to figure out how to love this changeling living in his son’s room. That is a LOT to go through, and it’s just as hard for him as it is for his son daughter.

Let’s take an opposite case: A...”good” (she’s trying real hard but keeps dropping the ball at the worst times through no fault of her own), atheist (as soon as she turned 18 she left her parent’s church and never looked back), Liberal single mother is told by her daughter (by a one-night stand during her brief stint in college...she’s not even sure who the father is) that her daughter is a lesbian and, by the way, her girlfriend’s parents kicked her out because their pastor said she was sinful and can she stay with them please? She now has to deal with a girl who’s legal status in the home is questionable at best, potentially abusive parents who will come over at any time to harass their daughter and the “heathen family of sinners” that “corrupted” their little girl, potential CPS investigations, and all this on top of having to completely scrap any hopes and dreams she had of her little girl finding a good man (preferably with a degree) to settle down with so her daughter doesn’t have to deal with the crap she did. Does she let them sleep in the same room? (They’re underage, after all, but since there’s no chance of pregnancy, does that matter, or is it the principal of the thing? Who the hell would she even ask about that?) How is she supposed to be there for her daughter (and possible live-in girlfriend) if she’s having to work 10 hour days 6 days a week? And let’s talk about the budget; she can barely afford two people, and now her daughter is asking to bring in a third?!

Both the parent and the child are going to do and say hateful, hurtful things. Usually, it’s without meaning to. If the parent is ACTUALLY abusive, then action gets to take place, most especially the child being removed from the abusive environment. The parent gets to have legal action taken against them, possibly including jail time for abusing a child.

tl;dr - The original post made a statement about how a kid being LGBT isn’t all about the parents. I simply made a statement that it also impacts the parents, and that is a good thing.