#nonforfeiting

[macroxwitch]

1/23/2018

It’s been so long since I’ve written, truly written. For a while it seemed like all I could do was wallow and hate myself for crimes I never committed against myself. The only thing that truly makes me feel...Human, is making myself bleed. I want to bleed. Over and over and over again. It screams my name, not in the back of my head but in front of my eyes. I see the scars and they shame my soul, but they call back to a time when I had absolute nonforfeitable control. They cry because I abandoned them, my own secret.

    Cutting was the only thing I did for my own health. Truthfully, that’s an oxymoron, but the own thing someone couldn’t talk from me was pain. It reminds me of my humanity and my power. I am capable of pain; experiencing and inflicting. I miss the pain. I miss the first moment when you see the scarlette arrive from vulnerable flesh. Hurting myself was never painful though. I experienced it, but it never overwhelmed me. The painful part was seeing people I love beg me not to. So here I stand. Healed, but broken.

    Now, I have so much. I have love, safety, comfort. But I lack what makes me feel alive and I can’t find it in any acceptable outlet. I want adrenalin, I want fear, and courage and vigor running through my veins. I had so much passion, so much life in me. My aspirations pulled my soul from one corner of the earth to another, whirling within my head as a hurricane would, destroying doubt and its companions. I was going to change the world, travel and meet people. They would inspire me, and I would spread compassion and become my own muse.

    I’m still sad. I still relinquish my pain in the dark hours. I feel this broken weight, killing my slowly. At one point, it came from the inside out. Now, it’s all-consuming. I can’t escape and I can’t feel. I know I am lacking a piece but whatever it is evades me.

    Passion?

[infinitoaudio]

Infinito Audio is a multimedia platform interested in editing audio of artists that we like, in cassette format as a collection piece on a small scale, leaving Infinite records as those released into space. Records where the release date is nonforfeitable ... .we are an infinite audio agency.

Label by Mente 3000.

Infinito Audio es una plataforma multimedia interesada en editar audio como pieza de colección en formato cassette a escala pequeña de material de artistas que nos gusten, dejando registros Infinitos como los lanzados al espacio, discos donde la fecha editorial del lanzamiento sea incaducable….somos una agencia de audio infinito.