#not even joking I legit thought I was watching an avengers endgame trailer at first

[aq2003]

FULL ENDGAME REVIEW

6.5/10 was ok but could’ve been a lot better in my opinion and by a lot better i mean

tony should’ve lived

-the russos are war criminals for what they did to tony alone. he had a family to go back to, JUST like clint. but i guess self sacrifice is cool, right?

-ever since iron man 3, tony’s story has essentially a dark twist to the “great power great responsibility” trope: the hero internalizes the motivating phrase (“don’t waste your life”), and let it interfere with their ability to take care of themself/open up to others. it started strong in iron man 3, got undermined in aou, got slightly more prevalent in the context of civil war, FINALLY got foreshadowed in infinity war. his arc was ultimately about letting other people HELP him with the responsibility he feels like he needs to carry 

-until endgame threw it under the bus again. in an objectively cool way, yeah, but it still got thrown under the bus and i’m mad

-so now tony stark’s story is ultimately a tragedy. and i fucking hate it, man. he had happiness (but not really, because peter’s not there) for 5 years and that got snatched away from him too! he underwent so much trauma since his goddamn origin story and he had a few moments of peace, sure, but he died before he could fully reunite with his loved ones. and it SUCKS. 

-god this is . this is like. if obi-wan kenobi went through All That but got really close to luke before he died and also never got any closure with anakin as a force ghost

-the russos have said, like outright, that thanos was a symbol of what tony’s been fearing of since 2012, the being that symbolized the root of his anxiety and ptsd. so what does tony do to defeat it? uhhh idk he dies i guess. but it’s okay! he can finally rest now!

-really great message there for the kids, right? 

-also there was a whole sequence about him talking to his dad about not abandoning his kid and being there for her. but now he CAN’T be there for morgan because tony stark is fucking gone and dead and i can’t fucking handle this he deserves so much better

-also also not to be a DudeBroGeek™ but he totally got nerfed during his fight scenes

thor shouldn’t have been played off as a joke

-my whole theater laughed at him being . fat. and i was SUPER SUPER SUPER uncomfy the entire time

-he has a PANIC ATTACK and people LAUGHED i mean way to treat more of your mentally ill characters like shit, russos! sure! just devaluate thor’s suffering by saying “oh he’s fat so it’s funny now! hehe!” FUCK you

-i mean, yikes, i can’t believe we went from iron man 3 (where mental illness is one of the major problems the protagonist clearly struggles with, where tony’s panic attacks are disturbingly real and in no way funny) to THIS SHIT

-don’t even get me STARTED on his arc. like from thor 1 to dark world it’s about putting aside his arrogance for the good of his people. for ragnarok it’s finally stepping up and finding his powers while taking up the responsibility as king. in infinity war i was able to turn a blind eye to it, but it’s so prevalent in endgame how little the russos care about thor’s journey in his movies

-in the end he passes off the responsibility he took up in ragnarok to val and just straight up fucked off to space. like what the hell, man?

-ALSO . loki said the sun would shine on them again but the sun DIDN’T fucking shine on them and i feel robbed. i feel like the russos broke into my home and stole something important.

-the brodinsons deserve better.

-how can taika even be there, like physically. i mean. the thor from his movie got entirely retconned

-also not to be a DudeBroGeek™ again but. but like tony he was so 100% nerfed especially during the fight against thanos HOW did thanos even touch stormbreaker aka the weapon made to kill him like what

-i hate to put this all on james gunn but he’s GOTTA fix the crimes committed in endgame against the guardians and thor

steve’s entire character arc shouldn’t have been undermined

-one of his defining character traits is that he won’t stand by and let bad things happen when he can prevent it

-if you could describe steve rogers THAT’S what you would say about him. 

-it’s like tony being smart. or thor being powerful. steve is just Like That

-so why did he go back in time when two full movies were dedicated to him adapting to the future

-idk it doesn’t really make sense to me

-i don’t actually have much to say about steve, i’m not as attached to his character as tony and thor but it still rubs me the wrong way. maybe it makes more sense to steve stans but from what i’ve seen they’re PISSED even though out of the trio he got the most time to shine in battle lmao

also

-the time travel fuckery was. hmmm

-nat wasn’t there for the admittedly cheesy but still sort of nice girl-power shot

-wong did nothing until the final battle. like him surviving the snap did nothing to impact the story

-why was okoye even on the poster? she should’ve gotten a bigger role imo

-WHAT was dr strange even doing holding back the water

-my brother (who watched the movie with me) thought that the lgbt rep in the movie was “america’s ass” rather than the gay russo in steve’s support group, which just goes to show that the lgbt rep is SO small and the media should really stop hyping it up. not really salt towards the movie itself but it’s still salt

-fortnite

general saltiness out of the way, i’m going to list what i did like about the movie

-those posts going around about how knowing the spoilers take away from the movie are actually really, really wrong. i went in knowing more than half the plot including who lives and dies and i still found it entertaining, to say the least. the movie had a lot of effort put into making it and it really shows. if you ignore the parts you don’t like, you can actually kick back and have a relatively good time

-also the action was really, really good. throughout the entire movie. it’s an avengers film, so the action has to be good, but the fights were still super awesome and a lot were actually a cut above the rest of the mcu (especially the melee fights)

-the final battle was amazing. up until the end, i was on the edge of my seat, because even though it’s another “big final battle against an army of cgi monsters” i actually really really liked it. pretty much everything was perfect about it, and it was so fun to watch the theater go ham whenever a hero did something badass.

-the score. god, the score. alan silvestri did so good with calling back motifs from other solo mcu movies (something marvel should’ve been doing the entire time). ant man’s theme after scott pops out of the quantum realm, captain america’s march when tony hands the shield back to steve, the reprise of “even for you” from infinity war during clint and nat’s mission to vormir, captain marvel’s theme when she blows up thanos’ ship? beautiful

-the actors did a superb job with everything they were given (which probably wasn’t that much). since the russos were paranoid about spoilers apparently no one knew who they were talking to which sucked? because the marvel cast is pretty good at improv lines. but the actors still did a REALLY good job despite this (and really do carry the movie). i felt in my BONES tony’s frustration and anger at steve during the wheelchair scene, thor’s pain and self-loathing when he reunited with frigga, and peter’s DESPAIR when he watched tony die (i will never be okay ever)

-the callbacks to previous mcu movies were fanservice, yeah, but it was the GOOD kind of fanservice in that it was really really cool and served the fans. it’s a great way for the last movie in the infinity saga to end, by revisiting some of the iconic places it touched on before

-tony and nebula! they were only together for the first scene of the movie but the scene with paper football was really soft and nice 

-the civil war conflict was glossed over save for that one scene of tony going the fuck off on steve and i couldn’t be more grateful

-MORGAN STARK. god if i had the capacity to cry i’d be sobbing through writing this entire post. morgan and her soft dad made my heart MELT into pieces i love them 3000

-they still deserved better though

-scott. like in general. he was one of the highlights of the movie. his reunion with cassie was :’)

-carol’s haircut

-by the way a lot of people complained about her makeup in her first scene with the avengers shown in the trailers but it literally wasn’t a problem for any other carol scene in the movie (because that was the only scene in the entire runtime where she was wearing noticeable lipstick/eyeshadow or whatever)

-professor hulk. i actually didn’t expect to like him, but he made a lot of actually funny jokes and i liked his personality contrast with 2012 hulk. also he made scott tacos! he’s really wholesome and i’m willing to ignore the part where he dabbed

-the mark 85 is one of my favorite iron man suits now, even though it didn’t get a lot of screentime

-speaking of which it’s REALLY great how most of the time when tony saves the day it’s because of his smarts. it brings back the main theme of the character: tony stark, the human, plays ball with gods, aliens, and monsters just by being quick witted.

-the entire sequence of tony, steve, and scott getting the scepter and the tesseract was PURE gold. (it’s my favorite part of the movie honestly)

-tony: ok scott to create a distraction i need you to put my past self into cardiac arrest. \ scott: uhh. uhh ok dude?? \ tony: my self loathing is this strong

-rhodey and nebula! they were an awesome teamup and i really really liked their friendship/dynamic

-PEPPER IN RESCUE ARMOR. WE DIDN’T GET ENOUGH OF THAT BUT IT WAS SO GOOD I LOVED IT HER ARMOR DESIGN WAS REAL GREAT

-tony reuniting with peter. i teared up. legit. i teared up.

-thanos: *headbutts carol* \ carol: *doesn’t even move an inch*

-wanda was so badass in her 10 second scene. i just thought it was really cool

-peter using instant kill mode

-tony using the gauntlet was badass. i hated it but it was SO amazing at the same time i wanted to cry and cheer at the same time so i ended up in a semi catatonic state for the rest of the day

-the little wreath with the first arc reactor, morgan craving cheeseburgers, tony’s last message.....;-;

-i love you 3000.....:((((((

-SAM GETTING TO BE CAP. (this was one of the best parts of the all-new all-different avengers comic) even though i still don’t like steve’s ending, i love that sam is going to take up the mantle (and i’m super excited to see the falcon winter soldier show now)

-the movie ended with the soundtrack of tony building the mark 1 solidifying that none of this would’ve happened without iron man. good thing endgame credits said that maybe tony stan lives do matter

-a rat is responsible for saving half the universe and i find that REALLY funny. my favorite theory is that the rat was loki the whole time and that doubles the hilarity

tldr: the movie had an ending that didn’t really fit the characters, but the rest of it was fun to watch: the action scenes were great, the interactions between the characters were mostly good, and it’s overall pretty entertaining as a film by itself. as a closing to the infinity saga it feels unsatisfying, but as a movie it’s enjoyable