#not that I could really ask because this is one of the puniest spiders I've ever seen in my life | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gottagobuycheese · 3 years

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to everyone who doesn’t turn into a paranoid flesh-mannequin full of so much adrenaline that death would be a more pleasant alternative every time you see a spider move (or not move, even): how does it feel to know you’re one of the most powerful beings on the planet

#currently watching this teeny tiny itsy bitsy honestly-almost-cute-if-I-were-anyone-but-me spider weaving this web across my ceiling light #I may also be going slightly blind by staring into this lightbulb for the past however long it's been #is it worse to stare directly at the object of your greatest fear or NOT stare at it and let it catch you by surprise??? we may never know #Cheese's personal molasses #hhrhghg why do you MOVE like that what is WRONG with you #IT'S SO TINY WHY DO I HAVE TO STARE AT IT LIKE MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT THIS IS SO DUMB #‘it's just Muffet's cousin there's nothing scary about Muffet's cousi—HOLY SMOKES DON'T YOU DARE FALL OFF THAT WEB OR I'LL KILL SOMETHING’#95% of my brain is of the ‘this is so dumb and boring let's give our attention to literally anything else’ camp #and the other 5% is ready to set the house on fire and the drop of a coin #maybe I could just do the paper thing? I've done it successfully once #ugh but what if I MISS it's SO TINY (and all interwoven in web eww)#why can't I just appreciate the strange beautry of nature like a normal person #what are you trying to protect me from brain what do you think is possibly threatening about this situation #anyways good news is that typing this out has made me calm down significantly #bad news is that now it is far far too late to ask for assistance in removing it form the premises #not that I could really ask because this is one of the puniest spiders I've ever seen in my life #and no one would ever take me seriously again lol #GENUINELY DON'T KNOW HOW YOU SURVIVED THE INFAMOUS SPIDER WEEK OF SEPTEMBER 2019 PAST ME BUT I DO NOT ENVY YOU #anyways up next on the list of ‘things I want to do during my gap year’ is getting started on some FREAKING exposure therapy #because this is ridiculous and frankly unsustainable #just let me go to sleeeep free me from this prison of my own making #maybe I could grab some squares of toilet paper and just. chuck it out the window or something #god I hope there aren't any others trying to sneak in the open window I would actually die #in hindsight I'm very glad that my childhood fantasy of being a Main Character™/hero of any sort never came to fruition #imagine being the civilian trapped in a structurally unsound building waiting for the superhero to save you #only to be told they'll let you all die because a spider the side of half of half of a grain of rice was somewhere in their vicinity #IMAGINE HOW EASY IT WOULD BE FOR THE BAD GUYS TO WIN WHAT A DUMB STORY THAT WOULD BE #okay I want my story to stop being dumb so I am going to GET the toilet paper and DEAL with this thing or die trying #in this world it's DON'T KILL and DON'T BE KILLED #whelp it stopped moving/fell asleep? do I dare risk invading it's territory to remove it form mine? I can't see most of the web

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