#not to get all genuine on tumbIr dot com but yeah... erm. some things really get to me sometimes? esp from people i'm fond of | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

datastate · 2 years

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oh, yeah. it’s really weird to me how people act like just bc someone’s outspoken / openly opinionated or happens to talk a lot, they’re somehow seen as full of themselves or whatever. even if it is based in self-confidence (which, in my case, it’s very much not), it’s still just such a shitty view to constantly conflate that with egoism.

#jestersvaguely #only slightly related but #not to get all genuine on tumbIr dot com but yeah... erm. some things really get to me sometimes? esp from people i'm fond of #and even if i feel like shit it usually doesn't stop me from 'talking' or writing it out - even if it's not publicly #writing my thoughts out*#and in those cases when i feel worse i tend to get more abrasive. that's just how it is. or i come across as much more blunt #usually because i'm dissociating so it leans more into the fact i don't have the energy to soften my words or to hold conversations for #longer periods of time. so it's more like 'cut to the point' even if it is ultimately detrimental #bc i really do have to put in. a lot more effort than the avg person to keep my tone... decent? respectable? anyway #this is just. how i generally am. which is why it's so painful when i can't make myself coherent #i don't get quiet unless. well. unless i'm planning out my death LOL #suicide mention #i suppose! i see no reason to dance about it though #it's just funny and a bit depressing to me to see people who act like these types of people are impenetrable and #somehow blissfully have no care... like oh how i'd love that but i guarantee you this is just how i interact with the world #how i communicate myself. how i indulge. if i don't manage this connection then i'll die

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