#now i'm just picturing how i'd put the handler in this au

[delucadarlingwriting]

I'm really struggling to write the last few weeks, so I've instead been going through some old wips and such. I found the first fic I wrote with Kira and Barbie together in it, but the thing that really interested me was this Lucas/Adam scene I forgot I'd slipped in toward the end.

In this AU, Barbie and Lucas both work for the Agency (Lucas as Unit Alpha's handler, Barbie as a researcher) while Kira is Wayhaven's detective. Adam and Lucas have a past, and they haven't quite gotten through it all.

(I really hope I haven't posted this before)

***

“She’s okay,” Lucas says, his smile bright despite the bags under his eyes and the way he hunches over. The chair he’s sitting in is clearly one of the ones kept in meeting rooms around the facility. Adam wonders if he dragged it over himself, or if someone brought it to him. 

“That’s good to hear,” Adam says. It doesn’t remove the guilt weighing on him, but it does lessen it somewhat. 

Lucas bobs his head. “They say she’ll wake up soon. It’ll be a long recovery. Well…” Lucas gestures vaguely to his leg. “Not that long. A few weeks at most and then she should be up and at ‘em.”

“How is your leg?” Adam asks without really meaning to. Lucas chuckles.

“It’s far from my biggest concern right now,” he says. He straightens up, then leans back against the seat back, folding his hands behind his head. His heartbeat is a steady drum, not the frantic thrashing it had been earlier. “But mostly it’s fine. PT did wonders. I don’t have to use the cane anymore, but I can certainly walk a lot longer with it than without.”

There had been a moment where it was uncertain if Lucas would be able to walk. Amputation had been on the table, but the medics had managed to save the leg through some sort of minor miracle.

Lucas peers at him, a smile tugging at his lips. To Adam it seems exhausting to always be smiling, grinning, laughing, but Lucas does it all like he can’t help himself.

“I’ve missed you, bud,” Lucas says. Adam shakes his head.

“We’ve seen each other recently,” he replies. Lucas snorts.

“Literally in passing while you were getting into a car and I was getting out does not count,” Lucas says. Adam remembers that moment well, and how hard it had been to make himself turn the key in the ignition when his eyes had been stuck on Lucas in the rear view mirror. Shifting, Lucas lifts an eyebrow. “You could also text me back here and there.”

“What am I supposed to say?” Adam asks in a huff. “You send pictures of inane things with no commentary.”

“Hey, that box turtle was neat as fuck,” Lucas argues, but he lets out a laugh. “But I guess you have a point.”

“So you’ll stop?” Adam asks, unsure what answer he’s hoping for. Eyes sparkling, Lucas grins.

“Not a chance, big guy. You’ll just have to suffer gracefully about it.”

Rolling his eyes, Adam puts his hands on his hips and starts to say something, when the door to Barbara’s hospital room slams opens, revealing Mason. He looks at them blankly, while Adam and Lucas stare back in shock.

“You two are loud as fuck,” Mason says. Lucas sputters.

“When did you get in there?” he demands, then more loudly, “Why are you in there?”

Mason smirks. “You don’t wanna know.”

Adam glares at him. “Leave.”

“Sure. She’s passed out anyway,” Mason says with a shrug. He spares a glance back at Barbara, hospital blanket tucked around her sleeping form, then closes the door and strolls away. Lucas manages to pull himself together by then and starts struggling to his feet.

“I’m gonna beat his—” Lucas grits his teeth, snatching his cane up from where he leaned it against the wall. Adam steps closer, hands out to placate him.

“I doubt he did anything to her,” Adam says, no small amount of annoyance in his tone. “He wants to get a rise out of you.”

“He managed it!” Lucas replies brightly. He’s holding his cane more like one would hold a war club than a mobility device. “She’s hurt, in what world does he think any of what he’s implying is appropriate.”

Adam can’t help the laugh that escapes his lips. Lucas whips his head toward him with a scowl.

“I’m sorry,” Adam says. “Do you hear yourself?”

Lucas blinks, and his hackles go down. A small smile tugs at his lips. “Alright, yeah. But it’s different when it’s your baby sister.”

Adam nods. “Then trust that I believe Mason wouldn’t let any harm come to her.”

That seems to shock Lucas enough that he has to sit back down. “You think he gives enough of a shit?”

“I do.” Adam rubs at his chin. Mason’s fixation on Barbara has been long lasting, but it’s clearly more than his usual ‘flings’. The way he’d reacted to Murphy abducting her had been…very different. It’s a side of Mason Adam has not yet seen. Of course, Nat has rose colored glasses on regarding the whole affair, which doesn't surprise Adam a bit, but it also sets him on edge, almost as much as Nat’s own fixation on Kira. 

They’re vampires. Kira and Barbara are human. It’s too risky to involve themselves too deeply, and the last thing he wants is anyone getting hurt over it. 

“Well,” Lucas says, relaxing fully now. “Alright.”

The quiet lingers for a long moment before Adam can muster the strength to say, “I should go.”

“Why, am I not riveting enough company for you?” Lucas asks, humor dancing in his warm brown eyes. Adam takes breath to steady himself, but all it does it bring Lucas’ scent further in, distracting him all the more. 

“You should go as well,” Adam replies, dizzy. “Maybe find a shower.”

“Rude!” Lucas exclaims, then cartoonishly lifts his arm to sniff himself. He puts on an exaggerated expression of disgust. Adam rolls his eyes. “Though you might be right. I’ve been traveling since yesterday, and the employees at the airport tend to look down on sink showers.”

“I can imagine,” Adam says dryly. He sighs, unable to shake the worry that lingers over him. “Barbara will be fine. You should look after yourself better.”

“I look after myself just fine,” Lucas says, waving him off. Considering the number of times Adam has heard through the Agency grapevine that Unit Alpha’s handler has landed himself in the infirmary yet again, somehow, Lucas’ words do nothing to convince Adam. He has the alarming urge to grab Lucas and drag him somewhere else, to take care of Lucas himself so he can be certain of Lucas’ health and comfort. 

Heat rushes to his face, something he’s aware shows far too easily on his pale skin, so he turns on his heel and marches away. 

“Try deodorant,” Adam calls.

“Go fuck yourself!” Lucas calls out with a cheerful laugh.

[in-tua-deep]

The Luther au has me both loving how cute it is & dreading angst ideas but I feel like that's normal for anything Five related tbh. The others have been away & had time to realize Reg did not treat them normally but Five has no frame of reference so if he ever messes up he expects Bad Shit™ from them but is ? When they don't act like Reg. But on the other had Five actually acting like a teen about New Future Things™ like getting excited and generally not as aloof as canon Five. I'm distressed.

WOO more responsible luther au from here, here, here, and here

Honestly all I’m thinking about right now for the responsible Luther au is the absolute hilarity of Hazel and Cha-Cha having to deal with a child. Like an actual child, not a 58-year-old in a child’s body. I mean can you imagine Hazel and Cha-Cha dealing with a child that they aren’t allowed to kill?? 

Just Hazel squinting and being all, “What the fuck do kids like? Do we offer him candy? Ice cream? We can’t just knock him out because head wounds are iffy and we could accidentally kill him, right?”

Can you picture Cha-Cha trying to interact with Five at like, a park or something?? Trying to talk to him and giving off those serious “I have never spoken to a human child in my life also the stranger danger vibes I am giving off can probably be sensed from the next state over.”

Oh man though the one (1) way they would probably be able to get Five to go with them even a little bit willingly (because how else are you supposed to kidnap a teleporting kid with combat experience and a healthy wariness of strangers) is if they had some sort of collateral (or maybe drugging him??). I’m thinking,,, they grab Klaus. The least combative sibling, would hang out with Five while Luther is at work, lanky and skinny and an easy target. 

Because the best way to get a superpowered kid to go with you is to say “If you don’t come with us, we hurt your brother.” Because I can’t think of any other real way to get Five, who is exceptionally traumatized by the very idea of restraints, to agree to be restrained in any way which you KNOW Hazel and Cha-Cha would probably insist on

But yeah Diego and Luther would totally bust in and rescue them because you know Luther is the helicopter parent brother who insists Klaus and Five text him every few hours so Five and Klaus miss a check in and Luther immediately calls Diego all “Yeah no I don’t care if you were doing vigilante shit I need you to check on Five he isn’t answering his phone and neither is Klaus. No, I don’t care if you think I’m overreacting just go and check on them.” and so they find out pretty quick that they’re missing (Diego finds Mr. Pennycrumb first, actually - Five told him to stay because he wanted to keep the dog safe) and go and rescue them (maybe with the help of Detective Patch??)

so they go get Five and Klaus back and Luther is so relieved and they’re all so relieved except Five basically has a breakdown and won’t let anyone touch him and is absolutely freaking out because he went off with strangers and they wanted him so he got Klaus kidnapped as well and even though Luther has been nothing but gentle and accommodating (because he’s fully aware his brother is Super Traumatized thanks) Five assumes he’s going to get into trouble

(because if you think Reginald didn’t punish the kids every time they made a mistake on a missions - I wouldn’t be surprised if Reginald obtained any tapes of the kids missions and would replay them looking for errors and then drill the kids until they were aware of all the mistakes they made and knew that they should never make them again)

(but also can you imagine a kid thinking he’s going to get in trouble for being kidnapped like that’s such a tragedy and all of the siblings are there now and they’re all horrified because they remember the debrief after every mission, and if Luther is right and Five’s punishments often involved restraints - then this is their baby brother thinking that they’re going to lock him up to punish him)

Eventually, eventually, Five calms down enough to allow one of the siblings close enough for comfort. Maybe Klaus, who was also kidnapped. Just both of them grabbing onto one another while the others swear it won’t happen again.

“They said they were working for Dad.” Five finally imparts, scrubbing at his face. There’s a hot second as they all process that before Luther just starts swearing and everyone is looking mildly incredulous because Luther is the one who scolds them about their language and frowns when songs with swear words play on the radio. 

“What if,” Klaus says, pausing for dramatic effect, “We kill Dad.”

Vanya looks thoughtful and Diego is nodding and his fingers are just that much too close to his knives and Luther very tellingly isn’t saying anything against the idea. It’s Five who smacks Klaus on the arm, “You guys can’t kill Dad.” He tells them very seriously, “If you all get charged with murder then who’s going to walk me to therapy? And don’t say Mr. Pennycrumb. Plus, I’m not going into the system.”

“Allison could take you in.” Klaus shrugs. Five pulls a face. It makes Vanya laugh just a little.

“Allison has a child!” Luther defends her automatically, making Diego roll his eyes exaggeratedly and Five hides his snicker in Klaus’s shirt. “She’s a good mother! Stop looking at me like that, guys.”

“I don’t want to live with a baby, anyway.” Five declares loudly.

 “And yet you live with Klaus.” Diego grins, ignoring Klaus’s squawk of offense with practiced ease and making Five laugh again. Which was the goal in the first place so, success.

“Okay, okay time to go home.” Luther says gently because they probably didn’t make it back to the apartment before this freak out they’re probably all scrunched down in an alley where Five ran to hunker down

and then later when Five is settled down with Mr. Pennycrumb on the couch and also squeezed next to Luther, asleep because it’s been a traumatic day for just about everyone, Luther is just like “Okay so Diego, can you… can you stay with Five when I’m at work? Or - Or I can start taking him to work with me again, and you can watch Klaus?”

“I’m not a child!” Klaus protests.

“You told us they got you first to threaten Five with.” Diego points out, only a little reluctantly. “You don’t need to deal with that. I’ll come over during the day, keep an eye on both these knuckleheads.”

“Ben keeps an eye on me.” Klaus pouts, crossing his arms.

“I will be someone corporeal who can keep an eye on you.” Diego deadpans.

Klaus scrunches his face up and turns to the side to show the full force of the face he was pulling to thin air, presumably a Ben who was definitely agreeing with Diego. 

“But why is Dad coming after Five?” Vanya asks, fiddling with her hands and looking nervous. 

“Yeah, and why now?” Luther demands, bringing up a protective hand to card through Five’s hair. Mr. Pennycrumb whuffles gently and leans over to give Luther’s hand a lick of appreciation. “We ran away ages ago, and Dad decides to care now? What changed?”

Everyone’s eyes turn to Klaus. His shoulders hitch up around his ears at the attention, but is a good sport who frowns in thought. “I dunno. The big guy - Hazel - he kept complaining about… I don’t know. Budget cuts or something. Dental plans being cut. Shit like that.”

“Dad gives dental plans to hired goons?” Vanya asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Well they weren’t your average hired goons.” Diego says defensively, rubbing at his shoulder that is going to be very bruised where he was smashed into a door. Luther winces in sympathy, feeling vaguely bad because his durability means he doesn’t bruise like the rest of his siblings.

“Shh!” Klaus hisses at them, flapping a hand and looking off to the side, focusing intensely. The rest of them wait patiently. “Uh, Ben says he heard them refer a couple of time to someplace they called the Commission?”

“The Commission? What, a company for hiring all your weird kidnapper needs?” Vanya asks, skeptical. “I mean, not that I doubt Dad’s ability to get some seriously skeevy people on his side but I’m just confused about this whole thing. Why would Dad want Five back in the first place? Enough he was willing to hire people to kidnap him?”

“She has a point.” Diego admits grudgingly. He and Vanya get along better these days, but there’s still some shaky ground between them even after she apologized about the book. “Dad didn’t even bother looking after Five ran away when we were actually thirteen. And he didn’t look after Luther and Five ditched until now. So, what changed?”

“And why this shady way?” Vanya continues, “I mean, he’s got the law on his side technically. I mean, Luther isn’t exactly Five’s legal guardian. He could accuse Luther of being a kidnapper.”

“Hey!” Luther objects.

“She’s just saying what Dad could say.” Klaus rolls his eyes. “But I mean, we could argue that chronologically Five is, you know, twenty-five but I bet Dad would try declare incompetence even if that flew, which I mean. Look at him. It wouldn’t.”

Everyone’s heads swivel to the kid curled up on the couch, fast asleep with bruises already forming on his face. No doubt from when he mouthed off to his kidnappers - Cha-Cha has a temper after all and Five was practically conditioned to mouth off even in the face of fear and terror.

“He thought he was going to get in trouble.” Klaus says, very softly after a moment of silence. “Because he went with them, and he only went with them because he didn’t want me to get hurt.”

“I’m pretty sure Dad would have locked him up again. And you if that meant keeping him under control.” Diego points out, frowning harder at the thought of their father locking up not one but two of his brothers. “Maybe that’s why he didn’t go through official channels - because he knew he’d need collateral to keep Five cooperating with whatever insane plan he has cooked up. No way would the law be on his side for keeping Klaus at the very least.”

“No no,” Klaus shakes his head dismissively, then pauses. “Well, okay yeah I could see him doing something that level of creepy but that’s not what I meant. I meant he thought he was going to get in trouble with us.”

“It’s not his fault Dad’s a fucking psycho.” Vanya points out. Diego nods appreciatively. The biggest common ground keeping Diego and Vanya on civil terms was their mutual willingness to insult Reginald together.”

Klaus waves his hand in the air again, “Yeah, I know. But like, think about it. The only parent figure Five ever had was Dad and you know what he was like. He fucked us all up, but it’s a whole helluva lot fresher for Five. He doesn’t - he doesn’t know shit.”

“He’s been doing okay.” Luther says, just a little bit defensively. “He has some bad days, but therapy is helping. Plus Mr. Pennycrumb is as well. He’s trying really hard, you know how worried he is about the apocalypse.”

“I’m not commenting on your parenting skills bro.” Klaus placates, “You’re doing really good. Like, really good. Way way better than I ever thought you’d be capable of. But I mean. You stepped up when none of the rest of us did, and you basically became his father figure.”

“I’m not - I’m not Five’s dad.” Luther scoffs, but none of the others speak up either. He looks around a little more puzzled, “C’mon guys. It’s not like you aren’t here as well.”

“We’re not the ones setting boundaries,” Diego admits, looking at the floor. “We didn’t rescue him, or build him a life, and even you can’t ignore that he looks to you for comfort first before the rest of us. He looks to you before Vanya, dude. That’s not exactly what happened when we were kids, man.”

Vanya shifts, almost uncomfortably. “He didn’t really, uh, seek me out for comfort anyway. Mostly when I was having a bad day. I just. I just made him sandwiches when he looked like he was having a tough time is all. He’d never admit it.”

Luther sighs deeply. “He can have peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches tomorrow I guess. Comfort food. Show him he’s not in trouble. But that still doesn’t mean that Five sees me as a dad.”

They all mutually agree to drop it seeing how defensive Luther is.

“Well I for one am going to spend all day tomorrow cuddling Five on the couch.” Klaus declares loudly, not even trying to hide the change of subject. “It’s a disney movie marathon sort of a day, me thinks.”

“I already took the day off.” Luther admits. “I told Sam that Five was having issues and he told me he understood and I could take time as needed.”

“I have nowhere else to be, tomorrow.” Diego shrugs, clearly planning on spending the day with them as well.

“I have practice but I can come by after? I’ll stop by the store for the ingredients of that potato dish I know Five likes as well. For dinner.” Vanya offers, receiving nods all around. Everyone appreciated Vanya’s cooking since exactly none of them were especially skilled in the culinary arts, though none of them were entirely hopeless.

Luther just sighs deeply, leaning back on the couch. “He’s just - he’s so young. Were we ever that young?”

They all sit in silence at that, contemplating. Because they had been that young, and it was only now looking back that they all realized how messed up it had been. Well, they realized it was even more messed up than they thought it had been, especially back when they were actually kids.

But also honestly picturing all the squad convincing Five to let loose and be a kid again while also convincing Five to not worry so much about the apocalypse happening in four years because he can’t just put his life on hold for four entire years.

Five being secretly happy and curious about things and excited but trying to hide it because he’s supposed to be focused on stopping the apocalypse and all that but he’s not nearly as difficult to convince to get off track as canon old man Five

I need to sleep heck

i just want a whole bunch of protective siblings is that too much to ask for and protective Five right back just a circle of protectiveness about everyone bless