#one of which includes trying to teach a Virgin Employee how work life.. works

[moki-dokie]

how to make 19 year old boy who came of age during the pandemic and never had a real real job before now realize he needs to Chill The Fuck Out and be Less eagar about working for free holy shit he is impossible to wrangle

[larktb-archive]

How to Write About Africa - Binyavanga Wainaina

Always use the word ‘Africa’ or ‘Darkness’ or ‘Safari’ in your title. Subtitles may include the words ‘Zanzibar’, ‘Masai’, ‘Zulu’, ‘Zambezi’, ‘Congo’, ‘Nile’, ‘Big’, ‘Sky’, ‘Shadow’, ‘Drum’, ‘Sun’ or ‘Bygone’. Also useful are words such as ‘Guerrillas’, ‘Timeless’, ‘Primordial’ and ‘Tribal’. Note that ‘People’ means Africans who are not black, while ‘The People’ means black Africans.

Never have a picture of a well-adjusted African on the cover of your book, or in it, unless that African has won the Nobel Prize. An AK-47, prominent ribs, naked breasts: use these. If you must include an African, make sure you get one in Masai or Zulu or Dogon dress.

In your text, treat Africa as if it were one country. It is hot and dusty with rolling grasslands and huge herds of animals and tall, thin people who are starving. Or it is hot and steamy with very short people who eat primates. Don’t get bogged down with precise descriptions. Africa is big: fifty-four countries, 900 million people who are too busy starving and dying and warring and emigrating to read your book. The continent is full of deserts, jungles, highlands, savannahs and many other things, but your reader doesn’t care about all that, so keep your descriptions romantic and evocative and unparticular.

Make sure you show how Africans have music and rhythm deep in their souls, and eat things no other humans eat. Do not mention rice and beef and wheat; monkey-brain is an African’s cuisine of choice, along with goat, snake, worms and grubs and all manner of game meat. Make sure you show that you are able to eat such food without flinching, and describe how you learn to enjoy it—because you care.

Taboo subjects: ordinary domestic scenes, love between Africans (unless a death is involved), references to African writers or intellectuals, mention of school-going children who are not suffering from yaws or Ebola fever or female genital mutilation.

Throughout the book, adopt a sotto voice, in conspiracy with the reader, and a sad I-expected-so-much tone. Establish early on that your liberalism is impeccable, and mention near the beginning how much you love Africa, how you fell in love with the place and can’t live without her. Africa is the only continent you can love—take advantage of this. If you are a man, thrust yourself into her warm virgin forests. If you are a woman, treat Africa as a man who wears a bush jacket and disappears off into the sunset. Africa is to be pitied, worshipped or dominated. Whichever angle you take, be sure to leave the strong impression that without your intervention and your important book, Africa is doomed.

Your African characters may include naked warriors, loyal servants, diviners and seers, ancient wise men living in hermitic splendour. Or corrupt politicians, inept polygamous travel-guides, and prostitutes you have slept with. The Loyal Servant always behaves like a seven-year-old and needs a firm hand; he is scared of snakes, good with children, and always involving you in his complex domestic dramas. The Ancient Wise Man always comes from a noble tribe (not the money-grubbing tribes like the Gikuyu, the Igbo or the Shona). He has rheumy eyes and is close to the Earth. The Modern African is a fat man who steals and works in the visa office, refusing to give work permits to qualified Westerners who really care about Africa. He is an enemy of development, always using his government job to make it difficult for pragmatic and good-hearted expats to set up NGOs or Legal Conservation Areas. Or he is an Oxford-educated intellectual turned serial-killing politician in a Savile Row suit. He is a cannibal who likes Cristal champagne, and his mother is a rich witch-doctor who really runs the country.

Among your characters you must always include The Starving African, who wanders the refugee camp nearly naked, and waits for the benevolence of the West. Her children have flies on their eyelids and pot bellies, and her breasts are flat and empty. She must look utterly helpless. She can have no past, no history; such diversions ruin the dramatic moment. Moans are good. She must never say anything about herself in the dialogue except to speak of her (unspeakable) suffering. Also be sure to include a warm and motherly woman who has a rolling laugh and who is concerned for your well-being. Just call her Mama. Her children are all delinquent. These characters should buzz around your main hero, making him look good. Your hero can teach them, bathe them, feed them; he carries lots of babies and has seen Death. Your hero is you (if reportage), or a beautiful, tragic international celebrity/aristocrat who now cares for animals (if fiction).

Bad Western characters may include children of Tory cabinet ministers, Afrikaners, employees of the World Bank. When talking about exploitation by foreigners mention the Chinese and Indian traders. Blame the West for Africa’s situation. But do not be too specific.

Broad brushstrokes throughout are good. Avoid having the African characters laugh, or struggle to educate their kids, or just make do in mundane circumstances. Have them illuminate something about Europe or America in Africa. African characters should be colourful, exotic, larger than life—but empty inside, with no dialogue, no conflicts or resolutions in their stories, no depth or quirks to confuse the cause.

Describe, in detail, naked breasts (young, old, conservative, recently raped, big, small) or mutilated genitals, or enhanced genitals. Or any kind of genitals. And dead bodies. Or, better, naked dead bodies. And especially rotting naked dead bodies. Remember, any work you submit in which people look filthy and miserable will be referred to as the ‘real Africa’, and you want that on your dust jacket. Do not feel queasy about this: you are trying to help them to get aid from the West. The biggest taboo in writing about Africa is to describe or show dead or suffering white people.

Animals, on the other hand, must be treated as well rounded, complex characters. They speak (or grunt while tossing their manes proudly) and have names, ambitions and desires. They also have family values: see how lions teach their children? Elephants are caring, and are good feminists or dignified patriarchs. So are gorillas. Never, ever say anything negative about an elephant or a gorilla. Elephants may attack people’s property, destroy their crops, and even kill them. Always take the side of the elephant. Big cats have public-school accents. Hyenas are fair game and have vaguely Middle Eastern accents. Any short Africans who live in the jungle or desert may be portrayed with good humour (unless they are in conflict with an elephant or chimpanzee or gorilla, in which case they are pure evil).

After celebrity activists and aid workers, conservationists are Africa’s most important people. Do not offend them. You need them to invite you to their 30,000-acre game ranch or ‘conservation area’, and this is the only way you will get to interview the celebrity activist. Often a book cover with a heroic-looking conservationist on it works magic for sales. Anybody white, tanned and wearing khaki who once had a pet antelope or a farm is a conservationist, one who is preserving Africa’s rich heritage. When interviewing him or her, do not ask how much funding they have; do not ask how much money they make off their game. Never ask how much they pay their employees.

Readers will be put off if you don’t mention the light in Africa. And sunsets, the African sunset is a must. It is always big and red. There is always a big sky. Wide empty spaces and game are critical—Africa is the Land of Wide Empty Spaces. When writing about the plight of flora and fauna, make sure you mention that Africa is overpopulated. When your main character is in a desert or jungle living with indigenous peoples (anybody short) it is okay to mention that Africa has been severely depopulated by Aids and War (use caps).

You’ll also need a nightclub called Tropicana, where mercenaries, evil nouveau riche Africans and prostitutes and guerrillas and expats hang out.

Always end your book with Nelson Mandela saying something about rainbows or renaissances. Because you care.

[ars-simia-animus]

You’ll Rise Up, Free and Easy

Chapter Three: “Shadowboxing”

Summary: Tension mounts between Peter and Tony on the subject of Peter's education. Peter enjoys the freedom of his days at home, following his passions with ceramics, reveling in the fine fabrics in May's sewing room... He doesn't know how to explain his trepidation at returning to school. Meanwhile, Tony remembers Mrs. Ana Jarvis, the first person to feel a responsibility toward him and to reach past his barriers.

Read after the break.

January, 1903

Peter had a new routine for his days at home. He woke at six thirty, washed, and went to the kitchen where May would be singing. He made the coffee for them while May finished cooking. Then, they ate breakfast together at the dining room table, like they had when Ben was alive, only Peter was the one to read the newspaper aloud while May chided him to “leave the world’s troubles for after French toast.”

It was sweeter even than he remembered to spend his mornings with May. She always swept him away and danced with him around the kitchen as they were washing the dishes. He would laugh and encourage her back to the sink. It was a fun little charade.

If May didn’t need to visit a client for measurements or a fitting, she would work in her sewing room, on the cast iron Swinger, pedaling and humming, while the machine’s needle joined fabric. Meanwhile Peter would pedal his pottery wheel, elbows-deep in clay slip, throwing vases or platters or bowls. May joked: “We Parkers have ankles as thick as Samson’s neck. But, just our right ones.”

Most of the time, however, May was gone, visiting her clients on Manhattan or Long Island. The house was empty, but it was an emptiness that reminded Peter of the delicate winter sky, colorless, cold, but free. He liked this kind of solitude.

He experimented with form and glaze, painted and carved intricate designs, and shaped precariously tall or wide clay bodies, for hours. However, he didn’t have any orders to fill, and though he had plenty of ideas and passions to follow, he knew, with a deep sense of responsibility, that he must use his materials to create pieces to sell. But what? He didn’t have any clients like May or a shop like Mr. Jameson.

He was a business. Mr. Stark said that 40% of the profit would be set aside for expenses. If he continued to create ceramics without a plan, soon he would have no materials and no profit. Not to mention fuel for the kiln to operate. Peter had never been part of the business of Jameson’s Porcelain & Ceramics Co. Mr. Jameson wouldn’t have even allowed him to look at the cash register, let alone the accounting books. But, Peter had kept inventory and knew that Mr. Jameson ordered by comparing the inventory to the materials needed for upcoming orders.

So, Peter retrieved the slate he’d used for school and some chalk and kept good track of the materials he had. Peter tacked the slate on the scullery wall, where he would be reminded to update it as he worked. He also created a plan (though it was simple and stupid, he thought) of where he could sell his work.

He knew this wasn’t enough, but he wanted to show Mr. Stark that he was thinking seriously, responsibly. This was one of the factors for his sensitive mood when Mr. Stark told him he had to go back to school. It felt like he’d failed already at being a ceramicist.

During the day, when pieces were being fired in the kiln, if Mr. Stark wasn’t there visiting, Peter would do chores for May. But, that didn’t take long, so he’d start supper… but, any earlier than four was too early even for stews. So, often he would either mold figurines that could be rewetted and clay used again, or, he walked around the house, reciting tongue twisters and passages of books he’d memorized. Occasionally, he would go into May’s sewing room and touch the satin or velvet fabrics, which he loved.

In the sewing room there were also bolts of the fabrics Ben had woven when he was a textile worker in Philadelphia. Peter ran his hands over the tartans and tweeds, thinking they felt scratchier than they should. Or, maybe that was the grief woven in them that made them feel barbed and sad.

Ben left his life in Philadelphia to come care for Peter. The textile factory wouldn’t hold his job for him, so he accepted the loss, and he and May shipped everything they could afford to post to a little motel in Queens. Before they even went to the motel where the remnants of their lives were boxed and waiting, they retrieved Peter from the Blessed Virgin Orphanage.

Ben eventually found work at a New York textile factory. It was rougher— there were fights every day between workers, sometimes with knives— but it paid a comparable wage. May began work for the first time in her life since immigrating; she’d been a seamstress’s apprentice in Italy. In America, she was a washerwoman. They were happy, but Peter nevertheless felt weighed down by guilt.

He moved on from the heavy textiles to the gossamer laces. They were smooth as milk under his hands. Un-spindling them, he would let them wash over his arms or he put them over his head, like a bridal veil. Many times he remembered the Starks’ Christmas party and would become as light as the lace around him. In those moments, he pretended he was dancing with Pepper. Sometimes when he imagined this, he was dressed as himself that night, sometimes in a fine vicuna suit like Tony wore, and sometimes he imagined himself as Pepper, or, alighted in her silk and pearls and silver.

Peter was so happy. He was so thankful. But, the pressure in his aching ears was building as he thought about returning to school. They crackled at him about how far behind he must be in Grammar and History and how there were so many faces he wouldn’t know and expectations to meet...

Peter’s face was darkening, a sunset color. Tony hadn’t meant to upset him; he couldn’t help but suspect there was more to this than a young teenager not wanting to go to school. Tony hinged his jaw back and forth and focused on the sensation. He didn’t want to give in, either, though.

Peter was an intelligent boy— a genius, a prodigy— and although it wasn’t unheard of for such people to accomplish great things outside the system, he needed to learn to “play the game” a little, too. Besides, Tony hadn’t lied; education was more than a merit, it trained brilliant minds to be efficient. If Peter was going to grow into the man he could be, he needed all the resources he could get.

Still, Tony had never seen Peter so belligerent. He drew a breath. “We’re not getting anywhere at this rate.” Tony tried. “Let’s talk more about it another time, hm?” He turned back to the table and began collecting the playing cards.

However, this suggestion did not ease Peter’s mind. “I don’t want to talk more about it later, sir. I don’t want to talk about it at all!”

Tony looked at him. He was escalating. Some dormant thing in Tony spiked up, like a scorpion tail. He said, in a measured tone, “Peter, we're done with this for today. We can talk when you’re feeling yourself.”

“I am feeling myself! Nothing’s going to change between now and then.” Peter leaned forward unconsciously. “It’s a waste of time for me to go to school, Mr. Stark.” Tony frowned. “I just want to learn my trade and its business.”

“How do you suppose you’re going to learn business without Mathematics or Economics?” Tony asked, irritation mounting.

“By experience, sir!” Peter exclaimed. “That’s what apprenticeships are meant to be.”

“By experience , is it, Mr. Carnegie?” Tony drew back dramatically. “You want to delve in and run a business? You’re fourteen, Pete.”

Peter’s voice cracked. “You — you said all this was a business investment.”

“School is a business investment, too.” Tony said, this time more softly. I’m always so affected by his tears , he moaned to himself.

“No, it’s not!”

“Don’t raise your voice at me, kid— I’m not shouting at you .”

This seemed to push Peter back down into a more reasonable mood. The kid’s shoulders slumped and he lowered his glare to the floor. After a gulp, he said, “Why can’t you teach me Mathematics and Economics?”

Tony closed his eyes and sighed. Then, he tapped Peter’s chin to get his gaze. “ I will . But, as Pepper so often loves to remind me, I have a company to run, with hundreds of employees who depend on having a competent chairman of the board to get things done.

“That’s not including a household to oversee as well, although Jarvis sees to most of that. Then there are partners like Rhodey and the U.S. Railroad Company…” Tony felt like he was rambling. He passed a hand through his hair and massaged his neck briefly.

“Look,” he said, “I will teach you— everything I know! But, it’s difficult to ride here, an hour both ways, and meet my other responsibilities and it's impossible to do it every day.”

In a small voice, Peter said, “I know.” He did understand, though it was painful. He wasn’t trying to demand so much of Tony’s attention.

“I just don’t want you to always be waiting for me to come. There’s no sense wasting time you could be studying. You should spend your time learning now, while you have more freedom. Do you understand what I’m telling you?” Tony asked.

Peter was silent, but he nodded.

Just then, the kitchen door opened. May, carrying a large basket of potatoes, sidestepped inside. Tony stood politely when he saw her. “Oh. Good afternoon, Mr. Stark!” May caught sight of Peter’s expression and paused.

“Good afternoon, May.” Tony said cheerfully. “You’re looking lovely today. Allow me to relieve you of your load—“

But, she’d already set down her basket with a grunt.

“Thank you, sir.” May said with a wry lilt. She wasn’t one for such compliments, but she held an unusual amount of grace for Tony because of Peter and Mrs. Stark. Through their eyes, she had come to see past his social persona a little more than most of his acquaintances. “Hello, Peter, motek. How are your ears?”

“Welcome home, Aunt May,” Peter said in a bashful voice. “I’m fine.”

May nodded and turned back to Tony. “Won’t you join us for lunch, Mr. Stark? I can have it ready within half an hour.”

“Thank you, but I had better not. I have to meet with Rhodey about some railway business before he makes good on his promise to ambush me and tie me on the tracks.” He said drily. “I'm glad to see you, though.” Tony continued. “Pepper reminded me this morning that we’ve still not met to officially discuss the terms of Peter’s apprenticeship contract.”

May smiled. “From what Peter has told me, I doubt I’d have much to contest, Mr. Stark; it seems you’ve been wonderfully generous.”

Tony noticed Peter grimace. “I want to be sure he has what he needs to be successful.” Tony said and drew himself up as if preparing to leave. “Well, perhaps the next time you are at the mansion, the three of us could draw up the contract and sign it.”

May had noticed the grimace as well. She sent him a questioning look before telling Tony: “I was planning to deliver an order to Mrs. Stark on the 8th, if that suits you.”

“I’ll make preparations and send Happy to give you a ride.”

“Please don’t go to any trouble, sir. I can catch the streetcar.”

“It’s no trouble.” Tony said.

There was a pregnant pause. Peter realized that Tony was going to say goodbye. He didn’t want Tony to leave this way, after they had argued and he’d been so stubborn. However, if he apologized, he felt that he should agree to do what Mr. Stark said, and the thought of going back to the schoolhouse or any schoolhouse was beginning to make him sick.

Tony spoke again. He looked at Peter, a little forlornly. “Will you come, too, Pete? It concerns you after all and I’d like to hear what you think about things—”

Peter bristled. He didn’t seem to believe that last statement. “Well, thank you, sir.” Peter said, not controlling the irony in his tone. “That’s the first I knew of it.”

“Peter Parker.” May chastised quietly and Peter immediately felt miserable. “If you have something to say, you should speak like a young man who deserves to be heard. Then I’m sure Mr. Stark would listen.”

Embarrassed tears started in his eyes and Peter hated how sensitive he was. The pressure in his ears was now a throbbing pain from all the stress. He barely heard Tony tell May that it was alright and he understood Peter was upset.

May interrupted his thoughts. “Peter,” she said. “Your face looks curdled as spoiled milk. What’s wrong?”

Peter sighed. “Uh, I… um.”

Tony cleared his throat. “We were just speaking about… the possibility of continuing Peter’s schooling.” Tony took a breath. “He’s not too keen on the idea.” May glanced at Peter with a slight worry to her eyes. “But I think he has promise and could easily attend a good college—“

Peter balked. College? The future, which was once like a cold sky, gave way to a tidal wave. It was at his door, crashing heavily, hemming him in, and he couldn’t breathe.

“I agree.” May said simply. Wildly, Peter snapped his attention back to her. “But, let’s not talk about it now. We can figure it all out on the 8th.”

“May,” Peter said, but she cut him off.

“We’re not talking about it anymore today.” She said in a pleasant but firm voice.

April, 1864

Tony returned to crawling through the flower beds of the Jarvis cottage only at night. He told himself he was a scout. He was gathering important information at great danger to himself by spying on enemy troops. Really, though, he wanted to be near Ana and Jarvis, though he knew he was not allowed.

Mrs. Ana had already told him no when he asked her to sleep in his bedroom during a few big storms. “I have my own bed and you have yours. Besides,” she said and pointed to the ceiling. “You know of those tall spires on top of the mansion?”

Tony nodded. “The iron spires.”

“Right,” she said and smiled. “If any electricity from the atmosphere ventures too close, the spire will conduct it down the rod and safely along a wire into the ground.”

Tony thought of all the lightning that must be in the ground as he rooted through the dirt. Almost superstitiously, he was thrilled every time his foot or fingers disturbed the soil. What would it feel like to be full of electric power?

Under the wisteria and hollyhocks he was shielded from the downpour and dropped his umbrella at the entrance of his tunnel through the thicket. He was very gentle with the plants so he wouldn’t crush them and upset Mrs. Ana. Closer to the cottage, he saw a warm glow from a little cellar window.

Inching up, he peered inside and was instantly captivated. Jarvis was in the amber lamplight, but not dressed in his staunch black suit and patent leather shoes. He wore sporting trousers with knee socks and a simple cotton undershirt. He also had on a beaten pair of plimsolls that Tony had never seen before.

The lantern sat on a low surface, perhaps a box, behind Jarvis so that his shadow was hard-cut on the wall before him. Jarvis jabbed at his shadow or cut a fist upwards occasionally— no, Tony realized, rhythmically . Jarvis’s feet never stilled or tripped. He seemed at once steady and speeding through time. Sharp breaths matched his patterned movements.

Tony couldn’t keep his own breath. It kept leaving him while he watched. Eventually, Jarvis let his shadow alone and moved to a seemingly very heavy leather bag that hung from a trio of chains. Jarvis punched the bag with such force— and the sound of the connecting blow was so deep— that Tony’s heart lost rhythm. Jarvis broke into a reverie of strikes.

The sky jealously unleashed obnoxious thunder above Tony’s head. Stupefied, his brain translated the peals into the scene with the punching bag and Jarvis boxing. It was like a revelation or a child’s first ghost story. Tony was awed and irrevocably obsessed.

Mrs. Ana came down the stairs and joined her husband. She was also dressed in sporting clothes, but Tony was very used to the sight. It’s what she wore when they played, or, “exercised” as she called it. Jarvis paused and seemed to greet her. He kissed her cheek and she reeled, laughter throwing back her head.

A different sort of fascination filled Tony. He laid down, belly flat in the dirt and seedlings. His chin rested on his chubby arms. He felt the desire to curl up like a pup, resting, watching a game across the room that he wasn’t supposed to join. Still, he hoped he’d be invited.

Mrs. Ana squared up; just like Jarvis, she began to bob and float around, circling her husband. She had that winsome daredevil look that Tony loved so much. That look meant fun. Jarvis moved, too, and the two of them began to spar, bare-knuckled.

Tony couldn’t believe it. He jolted up, but froze. It seemed like his mind had ground to halt.

Jarvis jabbed at Mrs. Ana, who effortlessly dodged. She was so fast! And she was laughing. Jarvis smiled as well as he blocked her punches. A couple times a strike would land and Tony’s stomach would lurch in a fearful excitement. But, once it was clear that neither of them would hurt the other, he relaxed and began to have fun, too. Both Jarvis and Mrs. Ana were obviously strong, but what thrilled Tony most was their speed.

They moved almost together, hardly seeming to be fighting at all, they were so skilled. Also, they knew and understood each other, which lended to their even match-up. Huffing, they paused after a while and stretched. Jarvis ran his hand up Ana’s neck. She leaned in and nuzzled noses with him. Then, they began to kiss.

Confusion and frustration overcame Tony. He worked at the little window until he could swivel the pane inward. He called out, “Wait a minute! Who won?”

“Good Lord!” Jarvis cursed— Tony burst into giggles—

And Mrs. Ana exclaimed: “It’s that groundhog, back! Where’s my broom?”

Mrs. Ana was quickly marching up the stairs, laughing and scolding at the same time. Soon she had him muffled up in a large blanket and was scrubbing dry his dark hair. “I thought we were quite past snooping in the bushes, Little Mister!”

Tony couldn’t be suppressed, however, not by any amount of correction. “Were you boxing? Each other? I didn’t know women boxed their husbands.”

Mrs. Ana snorted, but otherwise ignored his happiness. “What’s going to happen when you’re discovered missing?”

There was no hint of concern in his voice. “No one ever comes to my room unless they have to. Mother might come, but she’s in Paris right now for summer clothes shopping.”

Mrs. Ana moved on to his ears, wiggling her fingers, enveloped in the blanket, at the opening of each. Jarvis entered the parlor, now dressed in day trousers and a starched cotton shirt. Tony smirked at him. “Do you not wear pajamas, Jarvis?”

“With guests in the house,” Jarvis said, “I should think not, Young Sir.” Mrs. Ana chuckled a little. Jarvis recoiled slightly. “Is that snicker aimed at me, beloved?” His voice was underlaid with a pretend wounded tone.

”Most certainly it is,” she said. “I hope you don’t expect me to don an evening gown to receive this little runaway prince.”

Tony watched them in this sacred, domestic setting, noting how differently they acted, even with each other. Tony was an observant boy. He remembered the way people spoke, the looks on their faces, and the gestures they used.

As he grew, he began to see more: tics, minute expressions, doubletalk, etc. This skill was essential to avoiding his father’s anger and his mother’s tears of disappointment. It also helped him build a buffer between people and his emotions. It was never safe to be honest about how he felt. Every year, he was a better performer.

Jarvis and Mrs. Ana were performers, too. He realized this when Jarvis walked into the kitchen fully dressed at 8:45 at night. Mrs. Ana didn’t go to such lengths, but he’d seen her bite back derision toward different people on the estate, including his mother at least once.

October, 1863

He’d taken apart a jack-in-the-box his mother brought him from France. He figured out that the puppet was on a spring easily; he could feel the wiry coil through the puppet’s thin velveteen body. However, he wanted to see how the turning crank released the lid on the box. Mrs Ana had walked in to find him trying to pry the puppet out; so, she retrieved a small screwdriver and supervised as he unfastened the bottom panel so as to keep the toy from being truly damaged.

Maria, his mother, had entered his nursery just as he plucked the little music box from the toy. Tony could remember how her face succumbed to a storm of hurt emotions. “Tony! Figlio ingrato, why have you done this?” Her voice was wet with tears. “Your mama bought that specially for you, and after we were apart so many weeks.”

Mrs. Ana had stood, hesitantly holding an explanation on her tongue. Tony dissolved into tears immediately. Instead of trying to explain himself, he only apologized again and again. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Don’t cry, Mama!”

Maria sobbed. “You’re too old to call me that. Do you want your father after you?”

“No.” He said.

“Look at this.” Maria continued, picking through the mechanisms laid out on the floor. “Did you not consider how I would feel? I don’t buy you special toys for you to wreck them.”

Mrs. Ana took a sharp breath, but she pursed her lips.

“I can fix it, Ma—Mother.” Tony hurried to reassemble it. Maria sighed and massaged her forehead. “I remember how it fits together. I’ll fix it right now!”

Maria seemed to notice Mrs. Ana for the first time. “Mrs. Jarvis, did you permit him to do this?”

Tony paused. He helplessly looked between Mrs. Ana and his mother. Then he repeated, “I can fix it, Mother. I love my gift!”

“Tony, stop crying.” Maria said wearily. “Mrs. Jarvis?”

“I’m sorry, madam,” said Mrs. Ana. Tony’s heart clenched. He became angry but couldn’t understand why.

“Disrespect and disregard for possessions are not habits I would expect you to promote as his caretaker.” Maria said.

Mrs. Ana took a breath through her nose as quietly as she was able. “I don’t believe the action was committed with any harmful intent, Madam Stark. He was learning how the toy works.”

“Learning how it works?” Maria parroted. She scrutinized her son and the beginnings of trust reappeared. “ Capisco … You should think before you act, Anthony, cuore mio .”

This time, Mrs. Ana did not restrain herself as much. “It seems to me he was thinking of his future as an engineer. Master Stark should be quite proud.”

Tony remembered the expression on his mother’s face as she left his nursery. He had reassembled the jack-in-the-box as quickly as he could and left Mrs. Ana to run and show his mother. But, when he found her, she was somehow dried up, disconnected, despondent. “Impressive, cuore .”

He threw the jack-in-the-box when he returned to the nursery and Mrs. Ana jumped from the rocking chair. His little fists were tight enough to drive his short fingernails into his palm. His shoulders were quaking. He felt hopelessly out of control. Mrs. Ana approached and kneeled before him. Wordlessly, she took both his fists and held them firmly.

Tony gasped; he’d been holding his breath since the toy was launched out of his hands. “It’s your fault!” He was lost. “Mama— Mother’s angry. She hates me.”

���Your mama loves you. Her feelings are hurt; and, yes, I bear some responsibility in that.” Mrs. Ana waited until she could be heard over his tearless sobs. “People don’t understand each other all the time. Their spirits are wounded and they become angry. But, they do not cease to love those dear to them.”

Tony felt every muscle contract; it was as though he were trying to crush himself from the inside. His fingernails bit deeper into his hands. He wanted to punish himself for what he did, for how his mother felt.

“You’re angry now.” Mrs. Ana persisted. Her hands loosened around his until they felt like a mitten, warm and unrestrictive. “Have you stopped loving anyone?”

Tony gritted his teeth. Yes . “Me!” It was pure, honest, and unbearable.

Mrs. Ana choked. Fear shone in her eyes and Tony collapsed into tears and, quickly, hyperventilation. When she put her arms around him, he flailed at her. Mrs. Ana took the blows without reaction. She tightened her hold and hefted him onto her chest, holding her arm like a bar under his legs. Dizziness prevented much more struggle.

She opened the window clumsily. A swell of fresh air splashed his face. Then, still gripping him, she hooked a foot under the rocking chair and dragged it to the window. Despite so much gasping, Tony felt like he wasn’t breathing at all. His lungs began to hurt. She sat, pressed him against her chest and began to rock him.

“I’m going to hold a hand over your mouth,” she said, “and close one of your nostrils for a little while, but you’ll still be able to breathe.” Hard hiccups were all the answer he could give. She used the hand that had been under his knees to clamp over his mouth. The thumb of that hand plugged one side of his nose.

Breaths slowed and balance returned. Tony’s lightheadedness pained him. He slumped against her. She kept her free arm around his shoulders, supporting him. When she felt he was in control of his lungs again, she uncovered his mouth and her hand joined the other around his shoulders. He yawned in the cool breeze from the window.

For a long time she rocked him. The chair creaked; its wood was worn down and each piece rubbed against the other. He didn’t mind, though. There was something about this that felt necessary— every aspect of it, down to the croaking of the chair. Tony realized furiously that he was chewing on his thumb. He removed it, thinking how he’d be reprimanded if anyone had seen.

Then, Mrs. Ana spoke. “No one has stopped loving you, Tony.” He stilled at the sound of his name. This sounded like a secret, so he listened. No one . He felt her kiss his hair.

“You were not at fault,” she said, her cheek still resting gently on his head. Her murmuring voice was close to his ear. He felt enveloped, like in the tall foxglove and delphiniums. “I love how you’re curious, how you discover the purpose of things— discover their function… I love the way you take things apart to learn about them. I love how you put them back together.”

He listened.

“You’re a kind boy.”

She kissed his head again.

April 1864

In the Jarvises’ kitchen, Mrs. Ana’s voice sounded different than when it was so close by his ear. That time they spent when she rocked him by the nursery window was different. Nothing like that had happened again since then. He wondered, somewhere in the soundless part of his mind, if she would ever hold him again.

“Tell me, Little Mister,” Mrs. Ana addressed him sternly, “what exactly possessed you to sneak through my garden in this deluge?”

“Your cottage doesn’t have any spires,” he said. “I decided to check on you.”

Jarvis asked her a question with his eyes. But, Mrs. Ana ignored him and smiled at Tony, a hand over her collar. “You are a sweet little thing, aren’t you?”

“I can walk you back to your room, Young Sir.” Jarvis offered kindly.

“But I just dried.” Tony argued. “May I stay here?” He looked hopefully between the two of them.

“I hardly think you’ve dried ,” Mrs. Ana said with a laugh. Then she looked at her husband. He gave in easily.

Tony was changed into a clean shirt of Jarvis’s which worked as a nightgown. Jarvis warmed a cup of milk for him while Mrs. Ana checked that the guest room sheets weren’t dusty (from disuse.) Tony felt half-asleep when he crawled into the bed. Jarvis surprised him by tucking the blankets around him. “I hope you’ll inform us should you need anything during the night, Young Sir.”

“Thank you, Jarvis.”

Mrs. Ana came to the other side of the bed and fluffed the pillows under him. “I’d have you get a proper night’s sleep, Little Mister.” She warned but with no severity. Her hand traced his forehead and he closed his eyes. “Enough mischief for tonight.”

He felt her press her lips to his temple; then, there was only sleep.

January, 1903

Peter handed Tony his hat. He wanted to ask Tony not to leave; he didn’t say anything like that, though. Instead, his mentor cleared his throat. “I was going to ask you, Peter,” he said. “I am delivering a lecture at the university on Monday. Would you like to go with me?”

Blinking, Peter felt a little hope light in his chest. “To the university?”

“I could take you in to the university library.” Tony said. “If you’d like.”

The university library, where his parents worked… he’d never been allowed inside; it was reserved for students and staff. Peter shuffled. “I’d like that, sir.”

Tony smiled and Peter couldn’t help returning it. “Well! We’ll meet Monday. The lecture is at one o’clock. We can lunch in Greenwich Village before and you can spend as much time among the stacks as you wish in the afternoon.”

Peter softened. “Thank you, Mr. Stark.”

Tony winked at him, which was an unusual gesture. Peter thought that they each were feeling very awkward after this afternoon together. He was worried, but felt Tony’s hand on his head, like normal. He forced a goodbye and watched Tony walk to the small barn that was built in the Parkers’ lot for Tony’s horse. Then, May called him inside.

[recentanimenews]

Bookshelf Briefs 9/4/19

Ace of the Diamond, Vol. 23 | By Yuji Terajima | Kodansha Comics (digital only) – Seido is reeling from their surprising loss in the final round of the West Tokyo qualifiers. Promptly, the third years retire to focus on college while the rest of the team gears up for the fall tournament. Many pivotal spots have been left vacant, so the junior varsity players are fired up to finally secure a place on the varsity squad. Not fired up are Eijun, who has trouble shaking the image of his pitch hitting a batter, and Kawakami, who squandered Seido’s lead and ruined the upperclassmen’s hopes of making it to Koshien. I always appreciate anything that leads Eijun to a more humble state of being and also really liked seeing Miyuki seriously step up to a leadership role after he is made the new team captain. I’m excited to see how this iteration of the team fares. – Michelle Smith

Barakamon, Vol. 18 | By Satsuki Yoshino | Yen Press – Much of the final volume in this series involves showing us that time is slowly marching on. There’s no time skip or anything, but life keeps happening. Tama gets a manga published. Miwa’s father is leaving to work on a ship, similar to Naru’s father, and Naru and Hina move on to the next grade, though the island is so small that they don’t get any underclassman to be sempai to. As for Handa, he’s become the stable part of the group; still teaching calligraphy, still being a bit of a goofball, but not going anywhere—this is where he belongs now. The overall tome of this series was relaaxing and fun, and that’s how it ended up, with the characters undergoing mild but meaningful journeys. I’ll miss it. – Sean Gaffney

Count Fujiwara’s Suffering | By Mahito Aobe | Yen Press – I’ve talked before about how I think that omnibuses of comedy manga are a bad idea, and this 540-page volume bears that out. That said, I don’t think I’d love this even in single volumes. Count Fujiwara is a cat, whose thoughts we are privy to. He’s dealing with two sisters—one an airheaded NEET who stopped going to school after a past event we only find out about near the end; the other is a more “normal” girl who has an unfortunate crush on her sister—unfortunate in that it contains all the annoying “comedy lesbian” tropes. There’s a speck of a storyline here about what happened to make Shizuka like this, but for the most part it’s “look at the silly girls and their frustrated cat.” You can do better. – Sean Gaffney

Hatsu*Haru, Vol. 8 | By Shizuki Fujisawa | Yen Press – I have occasionally wondered as I read a manga where a character discusses the fact that they’ve never felt love like other people if said character will actually end up being asexual. It’s rarely happened, and I don’t expect it to happen here, but it’s an interesting thought. Ayumi’s thoroughly analytical personality is great for a career as a newshound, but very bad when dealing with Takaya, who we’ve known for a while has fallen for her in his quiet, hard-to-read way. Her thesis paper on why they should or shouldn’t go out doesn’t help. Fortunately, we have Kai and Riko being adorable fluffs in love to balance things out. And this time Kagura’s on the cover, but STILL gets nothing to do. Arc when? -Sean Gaffney

Komi Can’t Communicate, Vol. 2 | By Tomohito Oda | VIZ Media – Much of this volume is cute. A classmate declares herself Komi’s rival in the national health exams. Komi attempts to tell (lame) jokes in writing. The gang goes out for ramen after school. Najimi encourages Komi to go shopping for clothes and the gang all chooses different outfits for her to try on and rate. And then there’s Ren Yamai, who has a crush on Komi and promptly goes into scary, knife-wielding psycho mode. I liked that Yamai’s threats against Tadano prompted Komi to firmly state (in writing) that she decides who her friends are, as well as the fact that this whole situation prompted Komi to “talk” a lot with Tadano and allowed for some funny Najimi moments. But I really disliked that, after all Yamai’s terrible, alarming behavior, Komi consents to be friends with her after all. Yamai is the Mineta of an otherwise really fun series. Sad face. – Michelle Smith

Murcielago, Vol. 11 | By Yoshimurakana | Yen Press – The police have had a very odd relationship with Kuroko, for obvious reasons, but they find themselves more drawn into the current case than usual. The people getting eaten by sharks rapidly led to brains in jars, including the wife of Tsuru, who he’s been trying to avenge but sadly reality gets in the way. Also, his partner may be secretly evil? Fortunately, Suiren is saved, and deals with her grief. She’s not even seduced by Kuroko—yet. And so we move on to a new arc, which involves someone going around killing master swordsmen. Murcielago will never win any good taste awards, and its leads are all sociopaths (even the police, to a degree), but it’s fun, and there are some great Kuroko faces here. – Sean Gaffney

One-Punch Man, Vol. 17 | By ONE and Yusuke Murata | Viz Media – When the hell did this get so boring? Its strength remains its humor, and the best parts of the volume are showing off that humor, such as Fubuki desperately trying to rally the incredibly apathetic troops, or Saitama only getting really pissed off because the hero hunter keeps ignoring him. But for the most part, it’s serious fights between serious heroes and serious villains, and honestly I can get that much better in My Hero Academia. The world is also pretty nihilistic here—we need the heroes because the villains are not going to stop and wait for them, as a Private Merc Force finds out when they are quickly beaten and enslaved. I want more funny stuff, please. – Sean Gaffney

Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle, Vol. 8 | By Kagiji Kumanomata | Viz Media – It’s time for new employee orientation, including a field trip and a hot springs visit. This actually means a bit more fanservice than the other seven volumes combined, as of course Syalis goes along with everyone—they have to pretend she’s working as a demon in order not to give it away. (This being a comedy manga, the author lampshades that Syalis is in a swimsuit twice within three chapters.) The jokes are the same, though—Syalsi is spoiled and a bit appalling but also too difficult to say no to, and also sort of cute and adorable. At least she’s not gleefully killing everyone anymore, so that’s a plus. It even feels a bit like an extended family now. – Sean Gaffney

Tales of Wedding Rings, Vol. 7 | By Maybe | Yen Press – We’ve hit a new harem manga record with this volume, as fully HALF THE BOOK is set up to have Satou and his fiancées get it on so that they can gain the power needed to defeat the Abyss King. Sadly, for anyone hoping for a payoff, there’s lots of skin and titillation but everyone is still a virgin by the end of the book. We also get some details of the prior hero, who was seemingly corrupted by the situation of “get to bone all these girls” and ended up getting killed by said girls, one of whom is still around thanks to the long lives of elves. Will Satou end up going down the same path? Well, not if this keeps up. This is a good series for fantasy fans but harem fans may be getting irritated. – Sean Gaffney

We Never Learn, Vol. 5 | By Taishi Tsutsui | Viz Media – As with the series’ spiritual successor, Nisekoi, We Never Learn is very good at balancing out each girl in the romantic comedy stakes so that they all get something to do. Unlike Nisekoi, the choice is not obvious from chapter one, either. It doesn’t help that Fumino seems to be honestly trying to help Naruyuki get together with someone else… even as she gets the shippiest chapter in the book, the classic “we have to share a hotel room and there is only one bed” trope. But the others get their moments as well (including the teacher, which I suppose I will have to get used to), and it’s cute, fun, and a bit sweet and romantic as long as you don’t mind it then snapping back to status quo. – Sean Gaffney

Wotakoi: Love Is Hard for Otaku, Vol. 3 | By Fujita | Kodansha Comics – Sometimes series can falter after their respective love interests get together, but so far that hasn’t been an issue with Wotakoi. There are some chapters that I find less engaging (generally the few that take place “in game”—I prefer the manga’s exploration of real life experiences), but as a whole it’s still consistently entertaining. I especially appreciate the importance placed on the series’ non-romantic friendships. The fact that Hirotaka and Narumi are dating is still being kept a secret in the workplace, so one of my favorite running gags in the third omnibus of Wotakoi is that their coworkers are all essentially rooting for them to hook up. In part this requires Fujita to introduce a few new recurring side characters who end up being a rather amusing addition to the manga. I continue to greatly enjoy Wotakoi. – Ash Brown

Yuri Life | By Kurukuruhime | Yen Press – Yuri Life is a collection of 4-koma vignettes about various cohabitating couples, the vast majority of whom are working women in their twenties. Some stories are kind of cute, but none is in the least bit funny, so it’s not that kind of 4-koma. Probably the best story in the lot is “Life with a Grim Reaper,” in which a grim reaper falls in love with a woman who’s supposed to die soon. I could see a concept like that filling at least one volume, but not so much the rest. The collection also includes “Life with a Yandere,” in which we get creepy inner monologues like, “If I snipped off those small, slim fingers, would I be the only one you touched?” Um, that is seriously fucked up! Why is that in the same collection as these other frothy tales? This is definitely a mixed bag. – Michelle Smith

By: Ash Brown

[xwwaqdyd-blog]

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[samuelfields]

Things To Consider Before Selling Your Business (Baby)

One of my luckiest investment decisions was not selling anything during the 2008-2009 financial crisis. I just held on for dear life, continued to max out my 401(k) and squirreled away anything left into an online savings account or CD.

In 2012, I got lucky again by receiving zero offers for my SF primary residence. Facebook just went public, but nobody wanted to buy my home. As a result, I held on, paid down more of the mortgage, earned some rental income, and then finally sold it five years later for 68% more.

In 2015 and in 2018 I passed on selling Financial Samurai. To sell before realizing my goal of writing 3X a week for 10 years would have made me feel like a quitter. Then in August 2018, Google had a large algorithm update that has since boosted organic traffic by 50%. That was an unexpected upside surprise, especially since the site has been around since 2009.

It sure seems like the secret to creating wealth is to consistently save, invest, grow, hold and build for the long-term. Almost every significant wealth event in my life has taken at least five years to stew.

Things To Consider Before Selling Your Business

We know there are three main sources of wealth: 1) your job, 2) your investments, and 3) your business. Most people erroneously focus just on their job. Savvier people focus on one and two.

But to really build next level wealth it’s worth doing all three. Start a business, own as much of the equity as possible, grow the business, and reap all the rewards.

Being an employee is fine. It’s just that without equity, it’s really hard to get very wealthy. You’re essentially working to make someone else rich.

You don’t have to build a big business. A small one that provides joy and boosts your overall income by just 10% is fine too. Over time, you just never know how large your business might grow if you stick with it.

If you’ve started a successful business and are thinking about selling it, here are some questions and considerations to go through before letting go of your baby. I’ve shared my thoughts as well as I consider retiring for a second time.

1) An attractive valuation. You must consider the valuation multiple compared to the overall S&P 500 and companies in your space. You must also consider the payback period and your likelihood of lasting beyond the payback period if you don’t sell. The stronger your expected future earnings growth, the higher the valuation multiple you should demand.

Wise public companies buy promising private companies at lower valuations. If a public company is trading at 20X earnings, it should buy private companies trading at lower earnings multiples with higher growth rates all day long. If it does, each acquisition will automatically be earnings accretive.

My thoughts: I don’t want to sell Financial Samurai because I think valuations are too low for private media businesses. Let’s say I’m offered 6X operating profit. This pales in comparison to the average 22X multiple for the S&P 500.

After six years of simply maintaining operating profit, I will have covered the entire purchase price. But every year after six years would be pure gravy. The payback period when all is recouped is also the point of serious regret for many entrepreneurs who sell. 

Further, if I can actually grow operating profit instead of let it stay stagnant, it makes even more sense to hold on. 

For illustrative purposes, let’s say someone offers me $6 million based off 6X operating profit of $1 million. If I can grow operating profit by 20% a year, the operating profit will have grown to $2.49 million after five years. In other words, I would have ended up only selling my business for 2.4X operating profit, which would be like getting mugged in a dark alley! And if I ended up selling for 6X operating profit five years from now, I could get $14.94 million instead of just $6 million. 

The only way I’d ever sell is if someone offered me at least 12X operating profit due to consistent earnings growth and my ability to keep on going for at least five more years. You’ll have to make an assessment on what’s the right valuation for your business. 

2) Cash generator or money loser. You either have a business that is losing money, but hopefully growing at a fast pace or you have a cash generating business that is usually growing at a more steady pace. If you have a money-losing business that isn’t growing, then you need to sell ASAP.

A money-losing business is unsustainable over the long term unless the business can continuously raise money from outside investors to fund operations. Uber, is a great example of a fast grower that lost $1.8 billion in 2018. Yet, because they are able to raise ~$9 billion from its IPO, the company should be able to fund its operations for at least five more years given its losses are shrinking (lost $2.2 billion in 2017).

If you have a cash cow business, then selling in a low-interest rate environment as we have now is a much harder decision to make. The reason is because a much higher capital amount is needed to generate a specific amount of income.

Look at the chart below. It shows the different amounts of capital needed to generate $55,000 and $20,000 in annual income at different interest rates. By a significant margin, cash cows are much more valuable today than they would be if interest rates were higher.

My thoughts: The core costs to run Financial Samurai include server cost, e-mail software cost, random website maintenance cost, and my time. Depending on how I value my time, operating my website results in 70% – 98% operating profit margins. In comparison, Apple’s operating profit margin is roughly 28% and Microsoft’s operating profit margin is roughly 31%. 

Huge operating profit margins is one of the main reasons why everybody should start their own website. There is little downside if you fail, except for your time and maybe a little ego bruising.

It’s not like you have to come up with a million dollars to start a restaurant to pay rent, remodel a space, buy food, and hire staff. A website is just you and your own creativity. 

Given I believe interest rates will stay low for the rest of my lifetime, the value of owning a cash cow should also stay high for the rest of my lifetime. 

10-year bond yield has been coming down since the late 1980s

3) Your personal goals. Do you want to sell for a profit or build a legacy? If your desire for maximum profits is strong, then selling your business may make more sense if you get the right offer. If you desire to build a long-term business because it gives you purpose and joy, then selling your business makes less sense. Decide what your personal goals are for your business.

My thoughts: I didn’t start Financial Samurai to make money. I just needed an outlet to address my fears during the financial crisis. Instead of smoking or drinking heavily, I decided to write. I think you can tell that I enjoy writing, otherwise, I wouldn’t author practically all of Financial Samurai’s content. If I hated writing, I would hire a bunch of freelancers to write lots of product review posts to try and maximize my revenue. But so far, I haven’t.

My purpose for Financial Samurai is to have a creative outlet to share my thoughts on a weekly basis. It feels good to get thoughts on paper and hear different perspectives from the community. To be able to formulate an idea, put it in writing, and releasing it to the world is very gratifying. 

A new goal is to run Financial Samurai long enough to teach my boy about online media, communication, and entrepreneurship. As an overrepresented minority at top universities, I assume it will be tougher for him to get in. I assume he will also get discriminated against in the workplace due to an underrepresentation of minorities in leadership positions. Therefore, it’s nice to have an insurance policy to skip university and the matrix all together. 

He might have zero interest in learning about online media, but at least I can talk to him about the importance of creativity, consistency, and work ethic. A small business has many of the same departments as a large business e.g. finance, marketing, sales, production, etc. 

Finally, what a wonderful way to communicate with family and friends long after I’m gone. I remember replaying over and over an old voicemail recording of a middle school friend who shockingly passed away in a car accident. If I were to die today, at least my wife and toddler will have hundreds of recordings and thousands of articles to go through.

4) Your view of the future. Do you see your business growing or fading? Can you create different products or revenue streams due to the strength of your brand? What are some new technologies that might disrupt your existing business? Are you capable of adapting?

Businesses fade away all the time. The murkier the future, the more you should consider selling.

My thoughts: I’ve always believed that if you can build a brand, your business will do even better in the future. Think about how many different business lines Virgin is in. Richard Branson has built an incredible, edgy brand that has enabled him to get into music, transportation, hotels, and more.

Financial Samurai is a fierce brand in the personal finance space that digs deep into the numbers and provides no BS analysis and answers. Everything is written based on firsthand experience because money is too important to be left up to pontification.

By establishing a brand that goes against the status quo (e.g. engineer your layoff vs. quit), plenty of new products can be created to leverage the brand. With only one book, I’ve barely gotten started on the business aspect of things. Now that my brand is established, I truly believe the opportunities are endless.

I envision a future where the consumption of online media via mobile devices only continues to grow. I see opportunity for Financial Samurai to expand internationally, especially in Asia and Europe.

Written content will never go away. It is by far the fastest way to consume information. Audio and video will continue to grow, and these are mediums I can easily utilize.

5) Will the money change your life. You can’t fault someone for wanting lots of money. If the sale of your business can significantly change your life for the better, then selling is absolutely an attractive decision. If the financial windfall doesn’t do much for your life, then you will likely feel a great let down because doing something mainly for money tends to feel empty.

My thoughts: The money received from selling Financial Samurai won’t change our lives. The only thing I might do is buy a bigger house. But I’ve already done the analysis on a larger house before, and it doesn’t feel worth it. Instead of feeling joy, I feel my headaches of owning a larger property with a $55,000 annual property tax bill would only multiply.

With the windfall, I’d give more money to a foster youth organization I volunteer at. I’d pay for a luxurious cruise for my parents. If my parents wanted, I’d also pay for their home remodel while putting them up in a nice temporary housing condo in Honolulu.

Other than these things, there’s really nothing more I’d do with the money except investing it in passive income generating investments. When you are already free to do whatever you want, having more money doesn’t move the happiness needle much.

6) Will you regret not selling if the market turns south. Fantastic selling opportunities open up only so often. If you pass, can you live with your decision that you could have gotten so much more if you sold earlier? Do you have the patience to wait for another 10 years for the next fantastic selling opportunity?

For example, Yahoo was once once worth over $100 billion and eventually sold itself to Verizon for only $5 billion. The good times don’t last forever.

My thoughts: I’m sure I’ll regret not selling today if I could only get 95% less years later. Meanwhile, however, I will have gotten a priceless amount of joy building Financial Samurai. It’s cool to have a web property I can click on from anywhere in the world.

It’s the same type of pride and joy you get as a parent when you look at your kid and think proudly, I helped make that. If you truly love your kid, you would never sell him or her. The same goes with your business, sometimes to your detriment.

I also am pleased with the steady growth of the Financial Samurai Forum. It feels like a new website with different offerings I will help nurture. I’m sure it will grow into a tremendous destination if I can manage it well over the next five years.

7) Will the new buyer be a good steward. You don’t want to sell your business to anybody. Instead, you want to sell your business to someone who believes in your vision and carries out many of the things you’d like to do, but don’t have the ability or energy to do on your own.

Consider selling your business similar to giving away your daughter or son’s hand in marriage. You’re definitely not going to let your daughter or son marry a scumbag.

My thoughts: After several conversations, I finally warmed up to someone who I think could really grow Financial Samurai and improve the user experience. Like me, he is a father, but to three boys. He has a team of hundreds of writers and developers who could create a lot more value. Let’s see where this relationship takes us. I’m definitely going to take my time finding a proper suitor. 

Enjoy Your Business For As Long As Possible

The joy you get from creating something out of nothing far outweighs any joy you get from making a lot of money. Yes, there will be difficult times when you’ll just want to sell and quit. Do your best to keep on going.

I know of several people who sold their online businesses for the money and later became depressed because they didn’t have a purpose anymore. Many in the online media space tried to re-create the magic and failed. They became irrelevant.

Money really doesn’t bring much more happiness once you’re earning enough to have all your basic needs met. Some say that number is $75,000 a year, while others believe $300,000 a year is more likely in a HCOL area.

If you feel the end is near for your business, definitely try and sell. If someone gives you a crazy offer way outside average valuation multiples and you’re burned out, then accept their offer with open arms.

But if you continue to enjoy what you do and see growth potential, then keep on going. The legacy you leave will be wonderful. Just remember to always keep an open mind as there is a price for everything.

Not a day goes by where I’m not thankful for launching this site in 2009. It has given me more joy and purpose that I ever thought possible. Thank you!

Related posts:

How To Start A Profitable Website

Real Estate Versus Blogging: Which Is A Better Investment?

Bankers, Techies, And Doctors You’ll Never Get Rich Working For Someone Else

Readers, any entrepreneurs out there who have sold their business? How did you feel when you sold and how did you feel once you reached the payback period? What are some other considerations entrepreneurs should consider before selling? Graphic by kongsavage.com

The post Things To Consider Before Selling Your Business (Baby) appeared first on Financial Samurai.

from Finance https://www.financialsamurai.com/things-to-consider-before-selling-your-business/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

[mcjoelcain]

Things To Consider Before Selling Your Business (Baby)

One of my luckiest investment decisions was not selling anything during the 2008-2009 financial crisis. I just held on for dear life, continued to max out my 401(k) and squirreled away anything left into an online savings account or CD.

In 2012, I got lucky again by receiving zero offers for my SF primary residence. Facebook just went public, but nobody wanted to buy my home. As a result, I held on, paid down more of the mortgage, earned some rental income, and then finally sold it five years later for 68% more.

In 2015 and in 2018 I passed on selling Financial Samurai. To sell before realizing my goal of writing 3X a week for 10 years would have made me feel like a quitter. Then in August 2018, Google had a large algorithm update that has since boosted organic traffic by 50%. That was an unexpected upside surprise, especially since the site has been around since 2009.

It sure seems like the secret to creating wealth is to consistently save, invest, grow, hold and build for the long-term. Almost every significant wealth event in my life has taken at least five years to stew.

Things To Consider Before Selling Your Business

We know there are three main sources of wealth: 1) your job, 2) your investments, and 3) your business. Most people erroneously focus just on their job. Savvier people focus on one and two.

But to really build next level wealth it’s worth doing all three. Start a business, own as much of the equity as possible, grow the business, and reap all the rewards.

Being an employee is fine. It’s just that without equity, it’s really hard to get very wealthy. You’re essentially working to make someone else rich.

You don’t have to build a big business. A small one that provides joy and boosts your overall income by just 10% is fine too. Over time, you just never know how large your business might grow if you stick with it.

If you’ve started a successful business and are thinking about selling it, here are some questions and considerations to go through before letting go of your baby. I’ve shared my thoughts as well as I consider retiring for a second time.

1) An attractive valuation. You must consider the valuation multiple compared to the overall S&P 500 and companies in your space. You must also consider the payback period and your likelihood of lasting beyond the payback period if you don’t sell. The stronger your expected future earnings growth, the higher the valuation multiple you should demand.

Wise public companies buy promising private companies at lower valuations. If a public company is trading at 20X earnings, it should buy private companies trading at lower earnings multiples with higher growth rates all day long. If it does, each acquisition will automatically be earnings accretive.

My thoughts: I don’t want to sell Financial Samurai because I think valuations are too low for private media businesses. Let’s say I’m offered 6X operating profit. This pales in comparison to the average 22X multiple for the S&P 500.

After six years of simply maintaining operating profit, I will have covered the entire purchase price. But every year after six years would be pure gravy. The payback period when all is recouped is also the point of serious regret for many entrepreneurs who sell. 

Further, if I can actually grow operating profit instead of let it stay stagnant, it makes even more sense to hold on. 

For illustrative purposes, let’s say someone offers me $6 million based off 6X operating profit of $1 million. If I can grow operating profit by 20% a year, the operating profit will have grown to $2.49 million after five years. In other words, I would have ended up only selling my business for 2.4X operating profit, which would be like getting mugged in a dark alley! And if I ended up selling for 6X operating profit five years from now, I could get $14.94 million instead of just $6 million. 

The only way I’d ever sell is if someone offered me at least 12X operating profit due to consistent earnings growth and my ability to keep on going for at least five more years. You’ll have to make an assessment on what’s the right valuation for your business. 

2) Cash generator or money loser. You either have a business that is losing money, but hopefully growing at a fast pace or you have a cash generating business that is usually growing at a more steady pace. If you have a money-losing business that isn’t growing, then you need to sell ASAP.

A money-losing business is unsustainable over the long term unless the business can continuously raise money from outside investors to fund operations. Uber, is a great example of a fast grower that lost $1.8 billion in 2018. Yet, because they are able to raise ~$9 billion from its IPO, the company should be able to fund its operations for at least five more years given its losses are shrinking (lost $2.2 billion in 2017).

If you have a cash cow business, then selling in a low-interest rate environment as we have now is a much harder decision to make. The reason is because a much higher capital amount is needed to generate a specific amount of income.

Look at the chart below. It shows the different amounts of capital needed to generate $55,000 and $20,000 in annual income at different interest rates. By a significant margin, cash cows are much more valuable today than they would be if interest rates were higher.

My thoughts: The core costs to run Financial Samurai include server cost, e-mail software cost, random website maintenance cost, and my time. Depending on how I value my time, operating my website results in 70% – 98% operating profit margins. In comparison, Apple’s operating profit margin is roughly 28% and Microsoft’s operating profit margin is roughly 31%. 

Huge operating profit margins is one of the main reasons why everybody should start their own website. There is little downside if you fail, except for your time and maybe a little ego bruising.

It’s not like you have to come up with a million dollars to start a restaurant to pay rent, remodel a space, buy food, and hire staff. A website is just you and your own creativity. 

Given I believe interest rates will stay low for the rest of my lifetime, the value of owning a cash cow should also stay high for the rest of my lifetime. 

10-year bond yield has been coming down since the late 1980s

3) Your personal goals. Do you want to sell for a profit or build a legacy? If your desire for maximum profits is strong, then selling your business may make more sense if you get the right offer. If you desire to build a long-term business because it gives you purpose and joy, then selling your business makes less sense. Decide what your personal goals are for your business.

My thoughts: I didn’t start Financial Samurai to make money. I just needed an outlet to address my fears during the financial crisis. Instead of smoking or drinking heavily, I decided to write. I think you can tell that I enjoy writing, otherwise, I wouldn’t author practically all of Financial Samurai’s content. If I hated writing, I would hire a bunch of freelancers to write lots of product review posts to try and maximize my revenue. But so far, I haven’t.

My purpose for Financial Samurai is to have a creative outlet to share my thoughts on a weekly basis. It feels good to get thoughts on paper and hear different perspectives from the community. To be able to formulate an idea, put it in writing, and releasing it to the world is very gratifying. 

A new goal is to run Financial Samurai long enough to teach my boy about online media, communication, and entrepreneurship. As an overrepresented minority at top universities, I assume it will be tougher for him to get in. I assume he will also get discriminated against in the workplace due to an underrepresentation of minorities in leadership positions. Therefore, it’s nice to have an insurance policy to skip university and the matrix all together. 

He might have zero interest in learning about online media, but at least I can talk to him about the importance of creativity, consistency, and work ethic. A small business has many of the same departments as a large business e.g. finance, marketing, sales, production, etc. 

Finally, what a wonderful way to communicate with family and friends long after I’m gone. I remember replaying over and over an old voicemail recording of a middle school friend who shockingly passed away in a car accident. If I were to die today, at least my wife and toddler will have hundreds of recordings and thousands of articles to go through.

4) Your view of the future. Do you see your business growing or fading? Can you create different products or revenue streams due to the strength of your brand? What are some new technologies that might disrupt your existing business? Are you capable of adapting?

Businesses fade away all the time. The murkier the future, the more you should consider selling.

My thoughts: I’ve always believed that if you can build a brand, your business will do even better in the future. Think about how many different business lines Virgin is in. Richard Branson has built an incredible, edgy brand that has enabled him to get into music, transportation, hotels, and more.

Financial Samurai is a fierce brand in the personal finance space that digs deep into the numbers and provides no BS analysis and answers. Everything is written based on firsthand experience because money is too important to be left up to pontification.

By establishing a brand that goes against the status quo (e.g. engineer your layoff vs. quit), plenty of new products can be created to leverage the brand. With only one book, I’ve barely gotten started on the business aspect of things. Now that my brand is established, I truly believe the opportunities are endless.

I envision a future where the consumption of online media via mobile devices only continues to grow. I see opportunity for Financial Samurai to expand internationally, especially in Asia and Europe.

Written content will never go away. It is by far the fastest way to consume information. Audio and video will continue to grow, and these are mediums I can easily utilize.

5) Will the money change your life. You can’t fault someone for wanting lots of money. If the sale of your business can significantly change your life for the better, then selling is absolutely an attractive decision. If the financial windfall doesn’t do much for your life, then you will likely feel a great let down because doing something mainly for money tends to feel empty.

My thoughts: The money received from selling Financial Samurai won’t change our lives. The only thing I might do is buy a bigger house. But I’ve already done the analysis on a larger house before, and it doesn’t feel worth it. Instead of feeling joy, I feel my headaches of owning a larger property with a $55,000 annual property tax bill would only multiply.

With the windfall, I’d give more money to a foster youth organization I volunteer at. I’d pay for a luxurious cruise for my parents. If my parents wanted, I’d also pay for their home remodel while putting them up in a nice temporary housing condo in Honolulu.

Other than these things, there’s really nothing more I’d do with the money except investing it in passive income generating investments. When you are already free to do whatever you want, having more money doesn’t move the happiness needle much.

6) Will you regret not selling if the market turns south. Fantastic selling opportunities open up only so often. If you pass, can you live with your decision that you could have gotten so much more if you sold earlier? Do you have the patience to wait for another 10 years for the next fantastic selling opportunity?

For example, Yahoo was once once worth over $100 billion and eventually sold itself to Verizon for only $5 billion. The good times don’t last forever.

My thoughts: I’m sure I’ll regret not selling today if I could only get 95% less years later. Meanwhile, however, I will have gotten a priceless amount of joy building Financial Samurai. It’s cool to have a web property I can click on from anywhere in the world.

It’s the same type of pride and joy you get as a parent when you look at your kid and think proudly, I helped make that. If you truly love your kid, you would never sell him or her. The same goes with your business, sometimes to your detriment.

I also am pleased with the steady growth of the Financial Samurai Forum. It feels like a new website with different offerings I will help nurture. I’m sure it will grow into a tremendous destination if I can manage it well over the next five years.

7) Will the new buyer be a good steward. You don’t want to sell your business to anybody. Instead, you want to sell your business to someone who believes in your vision and carries out many of the things you’d like to do, but don’t have the ability or energy to do on your own.

Consider selling your business similar to giving away your daughter or son’s hand in marriage. You’re definitely not going to let your daughter or son marry a scumbag.

My thoughts: After several conversations, I finally warmed up to someone who I think could really grow Financial Samurai and improve the user experience. Like me, he is a father, but to three boys. He has a team of hundreds of writers and developers who could create a lot more value. Let’s see where this relationship takes us. I’m definitely going to take my time finding a proper suitor. 

Enjoy Your Business For As Long As Possible

The joy you get from creating something out of nothing far outweighs any joy you get from making a lot of money. Yes, there will be difficult times when you’ll just want to sell and quit. Do your best to keep on going.

I know of several people who sold their online businesses for the money and later became depressed because they didn’t have a purpose anymore. Many in the online media space tried to re-create the magic and failed. They became irrelevant.

Money really doesn’t bring much more happiness once you’re earning enough to have all your basic needs met. Some say that number is $75,000 a year, while others believe $300,000 a year is more likely in a HCOL area.

If you feel the end is near for your business, definitely try and sell. If someone gives you a crazy offer way outside average valuation multiples and you’re burned out, then accept their offer with open arms.

But if you continue to enjoy what you do and see growth potential, then keep on going. The legacy you leave will be wonderful. Just remember to always keep an open mind as there is a price for everything.

Not a day goes by where I’m not thankful for launching this site in 2009. It has given me more joy and purpose that I ever thought possible. Thank you!

Related posts:

How To Start A Profitable Website

Real Estate Versus Blogging: Which Is A Better Investment?

Bankers, Techies, And Doctors You’ll Never Get Rich Working For Someone Else

Readers, any entrepreneurs out there who have sold their business? How did you feel when you sold and how did you feel once you reached the payback period? What are some other considerations entrepreneurs should consider before selling? Graphic by kongsavage.com

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