mewoxy

[eleneressea]

the Valar seem pretty content to primarily punish the ringleaders and let their followers go, so the Fëanorian followers probably get re-embodied well before their lords do

thus when Elrond shows up Formenos is not so much a lone fortress of exile as a bustling city where all the Fëanorians live, as most of them don't really want to swear loyalty to Finarfin and also don't tend to get along with the various other factions in Tirion

[ponyvsthebottle]

Time for you animals to learn about Huan, who is the one dog mentioned by name in the Silmarillion and he is a VERY GOOD DOG (pt. 1 because this got surprisingly long)

Orome: What's good I'm the god of the HUNT

Celegorm: I'm one of Feanor's sons, and I love to hurt and kill things that are smaller and weaker than me too.

Orome: Great! I'd like to present you with one of my special god-dogs, Huan. He's as intelligent as you are, and also the size of a small horse, and also he cannot become exhausted.

Celegorm: I'll treasure this symbol of our friendship!

Feanor: *ruins everything*

Celegorm: Well, uh, fuck you guys, but I'm keeping the dog.

SEVERAL HUNDRED YEARS LATER:

Celegorm: Hey Huan what is it what do you smell

Luthien: Ah! I was a little afraid of this giant dog, but help has found me at last! I've been travelling over the countryside in a cloak I spun out of my hair, chasing after a man I met once but want to marry.

Curufin: Brother, this dame is stone cold crazy

Luthien: Also I'm King Thingol's daughter.

Celegorm: I think you mean stone cold smangin'

Luthien: Can you help me find Beren? He said he was looking for King Finrod to recover a silmaril.

MEANWHILE, A FEW WEEKS AGO:

Beren: Hey guys I have to go steal a silmaril from the crown of the actual factual devil. I just need the one, there's two more, does anybody want to help.

Celegorm: Well, we _are_ sworn to steal the silmarils from anybody who has them

Curufin: So, if you come back here with a silmaril, we'll definitely rob you. And murder you.

Beren: Uh

King Finrod: Well I'm going to go help because sometimes friendship means robbing the devil

Celegorm: Well, have a good time!

Curufin, on the balcony: HEY EVERYBODY THE KING'S GONE WE'RE THE KINGS NOW

Celegorm: Take your time out there!

MEANWHILE, BACK IN THE FIELD:

Celegorm: Oh yeah uh we know them, you should come with us back to the city.

Luthien: Great!

SHORTLY, IN THE PRE-WIFE DUNGEON:

Luthien: BETRAYED

Huan: Yo sit tight in there princess I'll bust you out.

Luthien: A talking dog???

Huan: Yeah, I can only talk three times in my life though. This is one of them! Also I am destined to die after fighting the mightiest wolf in the land, just FYI.

Luthien: Dope.

SO THEY HAVE THEMSELVES AN ES-CAPE AND TRAVEL TO TOL-IN-GAUROTH WHICH IS WHERE SAURON, WHO'S THE VICE-DEVIL, LIVES:

Some local werewolves: AWOO

Huan, to the throat of a local werewolf: CHOMP

Draugluin, the father of werewolves: HEY HEY HEY WHAT'S ALL THIS RACKET OUT HEAH

Huan, to the throat of the father of werewolves: CHOMP

Sauron, looking out his window to see who's eating all his werewolves: Wait a minute, that's Huan out there! Say, I know that Huan is destined to die after fighting the mightiest wolf in the land...

Luthien: What's that coming over the bridge?

Sauron: IT'S ME, SAURON! I've turned myself into a werewolf! This is the best plan I've ever had.

Huan, to the throat of Sauron: CHOMP

Sauron: Fuck! Okay wow having a body totally sucks I'm going to turn into a ghost and tell my bestie, the devil, what's afoot.

Luthien: Good job, Huan! Now I'm going to sing the song that makes this tower collapse.

The tower: I burst asunder and crumble to dust!

All of the elf slaves who were, y'know, in the tower: We're miraculously unscathed!

Beren: I'M HERE IN THE DUNGEON PIT AND IT SUCKS DOWN HERE