#perth wedding dress

[krinskrans]

Wedding preparation

[legendbridal]

Stunning Wedding Dress Trends in Perth for the Modern Bride

In the picturesque city of Perth, where the Swan River gracefully winds its way through stunning landscapes, lies a haven for brides-to-be seeking the perfect wedding gown. Legends Bridal, an esteemed name in the bridal industry, stands as a beacon of elegance, offering a curated collection of exquisite Wedding Dress Perth designed to make every bride feel like a true legend on her special day.

Nestled in the heart of Perth, Legends Bridal is more than just a boutique; it's a destination where dreams come to life. As soon as you step through the doors, you're greeted by a warm ambiance and a team of dedicated consultants ready to assist you in finding the dress of your dreams. With personalized attention and a keen eye for detail, the experienced staff at Legends Bridal strive to make every bride's journey a memorable and enjoyable one.

At Legends Bridal, brides are spoiled for choice with an extensive selection of wedding dresses sourced from renowned designers around the world. Whether you envision yourself walking down the aisle in a timeless ball gown, a sleek mermaid silhouette, or a romantic lace ensemble, Legends Bridal has something to suit every style and preference. Each dress is carefully crafted with exquisite fabrics, intricate lacework, and delicate embellishments, ensuring that every bride feels both luxurious and comfortable on her wedding day.

What sets Legends Bridal apart is its commitment to providing a personalized shopping experience tailored to each bride's unique vision. From the moment you schedule your appointment to the final fitting, the team at Legends Bridal is dedicated to helping you find the perfect dress that reflects your personality and style. With expert advice and guidance, they'll work closely with you to understand your preferences, offer styling tips, and ensure that every detail is taken care of, leaving you free to focus on enjoying the excitement of your wedding day.

Beyond its stunning collection of wedding dresses, Legends Bridal also offers a range of accessories to complete your bridal look. From sparkling tiaras and delicate veils to elegant jewelry and statement shoes, every detail is thoughtfully curated to add the perfect finishing touch to your ensemble. With their extensive knowledge of bridal fashion trends and styling techniques, the consultants at Legends Bridal are on hand to help you create a cohesive and enchanting look that captures the essence of your personality and enhances your natural beauty.

In addition to its exceptional selection and personalized service, Legends Bridal prides itself on creating a welcoming and inclusive environment for brides of all shapes, sizes, and backgrounds. Whether you're a traditional bride, a modern trendsetter, or somewhere in between, you'll find that Legends Bridal celebrates diversity and embraces individuality, ensuring that every bride feels confident and empowered as she prepares to say "I do."

For brides-to-be in Perth who are searching for the perfect wedding dress that embodies timeless elegance and unparalleled sophistication, Legends Bridal is the ultimate destination. With its exquisite collection, personalized service, and commitment to inclusivity, Legends Bridal is more than just a bridal boutique—it's a place where dreams come true and love stories begin. Discover the magic of Legends Bridal and embark on your journey to wedded bliss in style.

[legends-bridal]

Get Your Dream Wedding Dress At Legends Bridal In Perth Now!

Do you require Perth wedding gowns? The bridal shop probably has various wedding dresses Perth, formal wear, and floral arrangements for attendants. Our service can help you get a dress that suits your body for that important event. Fancy Costumes for Weddings in Perth We try to see walk-ins as quickly as possible, but there may be a brief wait while we take care of everyone. For more details, you can reach us at (08) 9300 0133.

[azuracouture1]

Wedding Dress Alterations Perth

At Azura Couture Limited, we understand the importance of wedding dresses. That's why our exclusive collection of beautiful and unique wedding dresses is perfect for brides-to-be. We have various styles to choose from, so you can find the perfect dress for your special day. Don't wait any longer – visit us today and fall in love with a new collection of designer wedding gowns!

Website: https://www.azuracouturelimited.co.uk

[sunsetkerr]

THE SHOWER | s.kerr

summary: caitlin, alannah and mackenzie have taken it upon themselves to plan yours and sam's baby shower.. what could go wrong?! [1.9k words]

pairing: fem!reader x sam kerr (sweet nora universe)

notes: trying to cheer myself up after sam doing her acl, I hope it cheers you all up too. I missed nora lots and lots.

august 2019, 3 months pregnant

IF THERE WERE THREE PEOPLE THAT you would never trust to plan literally anything, it would be Alanna, Mackenzie and Caitlin. The three of them together are like a taking time bomb that just cannot wait to go off. They are loud, messy, chaotic and almost always in disarray.

So when Sam came to you in the third month of your pregnancy and say that the three of them wanted to be the ones to plan your baby shower, you could've fainted then and there.

Sure, Sam had known the three of them for a long time. They were all really close friends of both you and Sam. Sam had been playing with Caitlin since she was 15, she was in your wedding for god's sake- it wasn't a far fetched idea to have them want to do something so big for you both. But with the three of them together, you weren't really sure how successful your baby shower would be.

You and Sam were completely shut out of the planning side of things. They told you nothing, and you mean literally nothing. Alanna had made the invites before even asking (or telling) Sam if they could plan the shower, claiming that she had an untapped passion for graphic design or something like that. All the information on there was all you got.

The shower was going to be held at your home in Perth during Matildas camp for the World Cup. That way all of Sam's teammates could be there and so could your families. A few of Sam's teammates from Chicago would fly out, Mackenzie ensuring their arrivals. By the time the shower came around you had been shunned away to Sam's parents house to get ready for your day.

Alanna had taken the liberty of finding you a dress, knowing exactly the kind of clothes that you would feel comfortable but confident in at 3 months pregnant. You slipped on your outfit and were subtly impressed with what Alanna had chosen for you.

"Wow, hello you" You couldn't help yourself but to let a smile fall upon your lips as Sam wolf-whistled at you as she came into her old bedroom. You were stood in front of the mirror, fixing up your hair before you left for the baby shower. Sam was dressed in a beige button up shirt with a pattern on it paired with some white linen shorts that you loved her in. She looked so gorgeous.

"Do you like it?" You asked, giving her a little spin.

"You look incredibly beautiful" She nodded softly as she grabbed hold of your hips and pulled you in closer. She placed a quick kiss on your lips before pulling away and hovering over them again. "Like stunning" She whispered, before kissing you again.

"I love you" You leant your forehead against hers, not wanting this moment to pass from you both.

"I love you more" She smiled.

"Are you two ready to head off?" Rox called up the stairs. You were driving in with Rox and Maddie, who were both waiting for you two downstairs.

"Yep! Give us like five minutes" Sam called back. You chuckled and leant into her embrace, leaning against her as she held you tight.

"Are you excited?" Sam said quietly, trying her best to saviour your time together before you went into a sea of people for the late morning.

"I'm more so nervous to see what they've done to our house" You closed your eyes and imagined the chaos that could only be caused by Cait, Alanna and Mackenzie.

"It's just a brunch babe" Sam kissed your forehead, already knowing what you were thinking. "Worst thing could be that they haven't put coasters out on the table" She admitted.

"It's really nice timber, Sam" You defended yourself and your over-protectiveness of your breakfast bar. Sam had it custom made for you when you said that you had always wanted one. It really was your first child in a way.

"Don't worry, I already warned Cait about the timber" Sam droned, rolling her eyes at you. "She's said she'll protect it with her life".

"She better" You raised your eyebrows.

"I doubt she would mess with Mrs Kerr" Sam smacked your bum lightly before leading you out from her childhood room and into the car.

"Oh I love it when you call me that"

You couldn't stop the butterflies in your belly from fluttering around, although you weren't sure if you baby was just moving around more than usual. The house looked amazing when you pulled up at the front. The garden had been decked out in balloons, a sign next to the front door that said 'Y/N & SAM'S BABY SHOWER' in a beautiful handwritten font.

You held your hands over your mouth in shock as you got out of the car with Sam's help. "Oh my god it looks so good," You could've sworn that there were tears welling up in your eyes.

Before you could even take it in fully, Alanna, Mackenzie and Caitlin opened the front door and cheered for your arrival.

"It looks so good!" You exclaimed, bringing all of them in for a bone-crushing hug. You were beyond impressed and far past grateful.

"We clean up nice" Macca chuckled, hugging you tightly.

"Do you wanna like have some faith in us?" Alanna laughed, rolling her eyes at you.

"I was nervous" You admitted, shrugging awkwardly.

"She was so nervous" Sam reiterated.

"Trust the process, Y/N" Caitlin said before leading both you and Sam inside.

The house looked amazing. There were fresh flowers throughout the entry way with more decorations strung up. You spied a few games set up on various tables before entering the back garden. You had to have had over thirty girls waiting for you and Sam in the back garden. Your close friends were there, as well as lots of Sam's teammates, members of your family sprinkled throughout.

You squealed as you spied some of your older friends who you hadn't had the chance to see in a while. Sam smiled as she watched you catch up with your mates, looking radiant.

"It looks just amazing guys," Sam brought the three of her friends in for a hug. "Thank you so so much" She smiled.

"We need to start charging for events I reckon" Macca chuckled.

"Oh yeah, definitely" Cait nodded in agreeance.

"So what do you need from me?" Sam asked, ready to go into mum-mode and help out her girls for the morning.

"Nothing" Cait shrugged. "Can you relax skip? It's your baby shower. Go sit with your wife and chill. Brunch will be out soon"

"How did you manage to order so much food for so early" Sam asked, the curiosity eating inside at her.

"We're making it" Caitlin said.

"Wait, what?"

You would be lying if you said you weren't nervous that Caitlin might burn down your kitchen. There seemed to be lots of raised voices coming from inside your home, majority coming from Lani telling the girls that they had been cooking the bacon for too long. A few of Sam's teammates offered their help. Emily headed in and started to bring out what was hot (and not burnt) with Steph running inside to save the day- her mimosa in hand.

Everyone was determined to not let you inside and look at the carnage you were convinced was happening in your kitchen. Instead, Sam just held your hand and distracted you by talking with your friends and family.

Soon enough, brunch was served and you were pleasantly surprised. Macca ended up coming out late to eat, still with an apron on, claiming she was just tidying up a little. You knew there was probably more than a little bit of tidying to do, and you were okay with that.

Since being pregnant, you found yourself needing more control over situations, but right now in this moment you were grateful that you and Sam had such beautiful friends who were willing to, not only put on such events for you both, but to make sure you were relaxed and enjoying yourself as they did.

After brunch the games began. Caitlin had the idea of a blindfolded nappy change race. You never thought you would see Hayley Raso facing off against Lydia Williams in who could change a baby doll's nappy the fastest. Lydia smoked her for the record.

Alanna had hidden baby photos of you and Sam around the garden for guests to find. To say you were shocked to have a picture of two-year-old sam sitting in your esky was an understatement.

Mackenzie wanted everyone to decorate a one-suit for your bub. You had Clare Polkinghorne claiming hers was the best as she drew a little tillies kit with her number on the back on hers. Sam tried her best to draw little hearts all around hers, but ended up with some red splotches more so than hearts- you loved it.

The shower went on for a while, way longer than you would have anticipated. It was an absolute hit and you were so grateful to have had to thrown for you.

As the night was winding down you found Cait, Macca and Lani cleaning up the kitchen together so you and Sam wouldn't have to.

"Hey," You said as the girls all turned around to face you. "Thank you so much for today. You have no idea how much it means to me that you guys did all of this"

"Stop it!" Macca exclaimed, reaching out to put a hand on your growing bump. "This is our niece of nephew we're talking about! Of course we wanted to do this" She gave you an extra squeeze before grabbing her dishes again to wash.

"I'm just so so happy" You looked at them all.

"So you had a good time?" Alanna asked, bringing you in for another hug.

"Such a good time" You smiled as you leant against her shoulder. You were so grateful.

"Good we're glad," She smiled at you once you pulled away, "Now get out of the kitchen so you don't combust watching Mackenzie attempt to wash dishes" She nodded over at Mackenzie who was trying her best to scrap at a pan that had definitely seen better days.

You offered them all another thank you before heading out into the garden again. You could here Mackenzie start to bicker with Alanna as you left.

"I'm actually really good at washing dishes" She defended herself.

"Not sure if that's really a brag there Macca" Lani shot back.

It became late in the afternoon before everyone had really started to head off. You and Sam were left sat in the back garden together, watching Macca, Caitlin and Lani as they picked up the last few things around the house.

"They're so good to us" You smiled, leaning your head against Sam's shoulder.

"They're good chicks" Sam nodded, never having felt so content that she did in that moment.

"Can't believe in six months we'll have a baby" You marvelled.

"Can't believe in six months our baby is going to have more than three aunties" She scoffed.

"That's on you there skip" You raised your eyebrows at her as a smirk grew on her lips.

"What can I say?" She shrugged, "I've got good teammates".

"The best teammates"

[airgiodslv]

Jeff Satur Cinematic Universe - A WIP Primer

aka, Jeffcest. This is a work-in-progress, compiling info for the JeFFFFFFFFest 2024 exchange. Please feel free to add and amend!

Overview: Jeff Satur's music videos tell stories with interesting characters. Over time, some of those characters have reappeared and begun interacting with each other. Here are a few of the most common you’ll run into!

Sunshine - gifset by perths

Sunshine made his first appearance in the Dum Dum MV. He has blue hair and “Sunshine Moonshine Love Die” tattooed on his neck and chest. Sunshine later appeared in the Space Shuttle No. 8 Asia Tour Promo Trailer in a pale blond wig alongside another Jeff.

When Jeff was called on to do a sexy version of Dum Dum on Chuang Asia, he said he was too shy and that he would have “another [him]” perform it instead; he performed as Sunshine. During Space Shuttle No. 8 in Bangkok concerts, he had a body double in Sunshine’s wig onstage with him, and sang ‘Stranger’ to him. Sunshine also appeared in projections during the concerts, along with the quote:

Sunshine noun.  a god who honestly feels emotions, never lies to themselves, and will stay forever in your soul.

Jeff confirmed that Sunshine and Moonshine are different characters with similar appearances. In Dum Dum, one of them has a metal attachment over his arm when they appear onscreen together. There’s a third Jeff, sometimes referred to as ‘Businessman Jeff’, who is killed and then gasps back to life at the end of the video.

Ghost & Husband - gifset by guzhufuren

Also called Clone, Ghost appears as the titular character in the Ghost MV, who is revealed to be a clone of another Jeff (commonly ‘Husband’ or ‘Military Jeff’). Clone/Ghost has implants down his spine. He was captured by the military (specifically, Military Jeff) and freed by Military Jeff's Wife at the end of the video.

In the Yellow Leaf MV, it’s revealed that Clone/Ghost doesn’t age. He still has the same appearance many decades later, after Husband has died. Husband/Military Jeff is implied to have spent time during the Ghost MV in outer space (there’s a rocket launch at the beginning of the video). There's a love triangle between Husband, Clone, and their Wife (she accepts a different wedding/engagement ring from each of them).

Rain God - gifset by laurenkmyers

Jeff held a fanart contest for Halloween 2023, and the winning entry depicted him as a rain god. He posted a photo/video shoot on his Instagram dressed to match the fanart. There was a joke on the Black Tie set that Jeff was a rain god, because the rain for the courtyard scene began when it was time to film and ended once they finished shooting it.

Black Tie - gifset by guzhufuren

Jeff in Black Tie is sometimes referred to as ‘Black’ or 'Red' depending on what he's wearing. He has a bow tie tattooed across his throat. He appears in black-and-white when alone, and in color when shown with other people–which includes his own reflections in mirrors. He may also be able to control other people's movements when they're shown 'mirroring' him.

Lucid - gifset by guzhufuren

Lucid is the titular character in the Lucid MV. He might be one of the fae folk, or a lost boy from Neverland. He appears injured and wild in someone’s bedroom…or possibly their dream. He has long hair and anachronistic clothes, with a cut across the bridge of his nose. At the end of the video he’s seen at the base of a tree (possibly dead), almost completely covered in flowers.

Steal the Show - gifset by whitecerberus

Jeff appeared along with Shaun in the Steal the Show MV. They have a passionate rivalry and/or flirtation. There’s a lot of imagery in this video, including Jeff hanging off a giant birdcage which Shaun is separately seen trapped inside. This character has been referred to as ‘Thief’ and ‘Passion.’ Shaun’s character is referred to as ‘Reason.’

00008 - gifset by guzhufuren

In an effort to give his fans heart palpitations, Jeff released the Dum Dum Unchained Live MV. He appears chained on his knees in a basement or warehouse, wearing a lace blindfold, with finger-shaped bruises around his neck. There are additional bruises all over him, and a tattoo that reads ‘00008’ below his left collarbone. The number is now believed to refer to Jeff’s first album, Space Shuttle No. 8.

SS8 - gifset by guzhufuren

The Space Shuttle No. 8 Asia Tour came with its own promo trailer, in which a dark-haired Jeff and a pale-haired Sunshine (from Dum Dum) face off on a train in outer space, which has “departed the Saturn hemisphere” and is “now en route into the unknown.” On the train are references to many of Jeff’s previous songs and videos, including Highway (a flower), Loop (a clock), Lucid (a flower crown), Black Tie (a photo on the front page of a newspaper with the headline “Jeff Satur: Escape…From Earth!”), Complicated (a bloody hammer), Fade (a record player), and Comedy (playing in the background).

Other Jeffs

During the Space Shuttle No. 8 in Bangkok concerts, Jeff wore a black feather cape that spread into wings for his cover of ‘Feeling Good.’ (You can see a glimpse of Bird Jeff, as well as his body double Sunshine, in this Est Cola video.)

The Fade MV shows him being reincarnated through several different time periods, always connected to the same person, up to the present day. (In the present, his name is Jeff, and hers is Trinity.)

The Scar MV with bodyslam shows him levitating into the scene, and at the end he crosses into a portal. There’s a lot of imagery in this video as well.

For his Siam Halloween Concert 2023, Jeff dressed up as a vampire, in a corset with blue contact lenses and fangs.

During The Kingdoms concert, he was referred to as the ‘King of Darkness’, mentioned being in hell, and was shown in promotional materials and projections with a (small) eagle.

Additional Jeffs include (but are not limited to) the astronaut in a space bar in the Far MV with Silvy, the caged fallen angel in Law of Attraction from Call Me By Fire, the imprisoned/enthralled therapy patient in Animal World from Call Me By Fire, and the bystander caught up in gang-related violence in the Complicated MV.

[callmewrinkles3]

Deuxmoi Submissions, 2023

January

Spotted: Daniel Riccardo and his long-time girlfriend Emma on a romantic date at a restaurant in Perth. Weird thing was this time his manager was also there side by side in company of a blonde girl.

-

February

Subject: Twins

Email: whatever@gmail.com

Message: saw Daniel Ricciardo and his manager on a double date. One of the women was definitely Ricciardo’s girlfriend (and I think I saw a ring????) the other looked like her sister?

-

March

Spotted: Daniel Ricciardo’s fiancée flower shopping with a group of women. Is the wedding happening?

-

April

Spotted: saw like four F1 drivers (Charles LeClerc, Max Verstappen, Lance Stroll, and Esteban Ocon) getting off planes at Perth airport. I work the private terminal and there was a load of extra jets in. Is the F1 Royal Wedding happening?

-

May

Message: what Met gala attendee had a meltdown because her dress didn’t fit her chest an hour before her red carpet time? She didn’t get a lot of attention but she’s got a couple of high profile places to be this month with her husband, let’s see if it’s just her chest expanding.

-

June

Subject: wait WHAT

Email: reservebells@gmail.com

Message: ok I could be wrong but I think I saw everyone’s favourite Australian who isn’t doing his usual job leaving a maternity hospital in [removed for their privacy] with his wife. Both looked delighted, he was the happiest he’s been in years

-

July

Spotted: I work at a high end baby furniture shop and a high profile athlete and his wife came in. No clue how nobody knows she’s pregnant, it’s pretty obvious. Happy for them, they’re very in love and he couldn’t keep his hands off the bump

Update: yeah it was Daniel Ricciardo and his wife, also the tip they gave the furniture delivery bought us all takeout.

-

August

Saw Daniel Ricciardo and his wife in the same restaurant as me in Faenza. They’re too cute and he wasn’t drinking wine because she can’t thanks to her pregnancy.

*

Spotted: Em Ricciardo is a sweetheart! I was lost in Milan trying to find the train station with no phone signal, she speaks what sounded like fluent Italian and got the directions for me!

September

Subject: bundle of joy

Email: forthebees@gmail.com

Message: Got to see the former Red Bull teammates at Formula Nurnburgring, but the highlight for me was watching Sebastian Vettel giving Emma Ricciardo a giant hug and a gift bag. It’s really obvious that they get along well, she was there cheering him in his car. His wife was there too, saw her and Emma chatting.

—

October

Spotted: Daniel Ricciardo out for dinner with his wife, his manager, and what looked like his wife’s friend? It was his manager’s birthday and they sang happy birthday, but they did a toast later.

Spotted: Em Ricciardo looking so proud at her husband’s contract announcement. Red Bull got Dan a onesie for the new baby, it was adorable.

—

November

Spotted: Daniel Ricciardo running through LAX to catch a Qantas flight to Sydney. Someone mentioned his wife is due soon, is the baby coming?

Spotted: Em Ricciardo in Perth airport, looked like she was collecting Dan from Vegas. She’s still pregnant! #F1BabyWatch

—

December

Subject: flowers

Email: fakeyfake@fake.com

Message: I work in a florist and we had 22 bouquets sent to one room in [redacted] hospital in Perth. Most of the calls came from UK and European numbers. Looks like F1’s latest baby has arrived!

[bengiyo]

Do you have thoughts about the proliferation of sad rich boy characters in bl this year and what our response to these characters says about our wealth fantasies? Please share with the class.

BOY DO I!!!!

I get that we're all struggling out here in these streets and holding on to our little dramas for a modicum of joy in this hellscape, but it is so awkward for me to see folks sweating sad rich boys and their feelings.

I think it bugs me because we had two rich boys that folks didn't like in Patts (La Pluie) and Sailom (Wedding Plan), and then we had a proliferation of rich boys that we're bending over for in Kanghan (Dangerous Romance), Gun (A Boss and a Babe), Jeng (Step By Step), Pisaeng (Be My Favorite), Yoon Tae Joon (Unintentional Love Story).

I've been saying all year that I just don't have a lot of bandwidth for worrying about the feelings of sad rich boys when their poor partners have real shit to juggle. With Dangerous Romance, any real regard for Sailom's existence was tossed at the end of episode 2, and he's made little sense to me for weeks. Jeng absolutely stepped all over Pat for weeks on Step by Step. There's a whole running gag about how Gun doesn't understand the perspectives of his poor employees.

It always stands out to me that we rarely get stories about people of an equal class, and we rarely get stories about two poor folks trying to eke out an existence together.

There's definitely a wealth fantasy component to a lot of this. The audience is meant to empathize with the protagonist, and there is the fantasy that your partner will make a bunch of your problems go away with money, but I just do not have it in me anymore to watch people in fancy apartments cry because the poor boy doesn't like them. It also bugs me how we tend to sympathize with the sad rich boy even when his partner is dealing with some shit.

Right now we've spent like five episodes of Dangerous Romance watching Kanghan's goofy ass figure out he likes Sailom and I'm just not into it. I'm also frustrated with the audience concern about WP Sailom messing with Namnuea's money, which was revealed to be a non-issue, and I'm so salty about Kanghan actually fucking with DR Sailom's money and yet we're cooing over Kanghan because we like Perth? How now, brown cow?

The biggest problem I'm having with the wealth fantasy rich boy romantic leads is how the shows often seem more interested in the emotional concerns of the rich boy and not the practical realities hemming in the poorer character. I don't like poverty as set dressing so we can lust after a rich boy in PPL.

[nriacc]

NRIACC: Chapter Summaries

🚨 SPOILERS 🚨 SPOILERS 🚨 SPOILERS 🚨 

!DO NOT READ IF YOU’VE NOT READ THE FULL FIC!

I realise that not everyone is as sad as me and remembers every tiny detail of this rollercoaster of a fic, so I’ve put together chapters summaries that I've tried to make as concise as possible. Hope this helps with those rereading, love you all. Thanks for reading x

Part 1: Only Ones Who Know ~ The walk home. The night. The morning after.

Part 2: House is a Circus ~ Matt’s house party. Spin the bottle, shots, saucy times in Matt’s room. Fuck Josh.  

Part 3: The City ~ Wheels goes to Manchester and meets boys. Pool antics. They teach Wheels how to skate over the summer. Matty is a simp.

Part 4: Despair in the Departure Lounge ~ Wheels gets her fishnets and she takes her skateboard back home. Everyone’s at the park, Alex led her on, Wheels’ spot in the park. Peter is a gem and cheers her up but Josh is a dickhead.

Part 5: Heart Out ~ 2004: Wheels’ 18th birthday. 2005: Skating and Wheels gets her nickname. 2006: Never have I ever, club night where Matty takes wheels home early. 2007: Matty’s 18th, his house party where he and Wheels kiss. Matty drives her back to Sheffield.

Part 6: Hiding Tonight ~ Alex and Bestie comfort Wheels at Alex’s birthday party. The Fab Four (Wheels, Bestie, Al, Matt) night in, Wheels and Alex kiss just after midnight on her birthday. Matty turns up at Wheels uni flat with her birthday present and they agree to spend their summer together.

Part 7: Sex ~ Matty and her have their summer fling. Alex isn’t happy about it. Wheels and Matty have their fair ground date. Get tattoos and Wheels goes back to Sheffield.

Part 8: Dance Little Liar ~ Wheels starts to like Alex as more than a friend and they start dating but don’t address it. Favourite Worst Nightmare tour. Alex is a cheater. Wheels leaves and Matty comes to get her and comforts her.

Part 9: An Encounter ~ Wheels memories of her and Alex in her house make her move out into her flat. Both bands meet each other, bar antics, Alex tells Wheels he’s moving to NYC with Alexa.

Part 10: Do I Wanna Know? ~ Alex and Alexa split, he comes to live with Wheels. She shows him her spot in the park, he catches feelings, has a wet dream, and moves out. Alex and Matty both show up at Wheels flat and they chat whilst making her show them her dress for the wedding. The wedding.

Part 11: Settle Down ~ Movie night with Alex. Night in at Wheels flat, Alex wants to ask Wheels out properly but realise she already really likes Matty. Wheels back in Manchester and her and Matty are getting closer, Matty plans to ask her out and gets the boys to help him with grand ideas. The gig, Matty and Wheels are official. Alex cuts his hair then finds out about the new couple. Wheels does everyone’s eyebrows. MCU marathon. Matty’s parents divorce, his nana dies. Alex takes Wheels to the 2012 Olympic opening ceremony. The 1975 get the green light for releasing their album.

Part 12: Head.Cars.Bending ~ The 1975 release EPs, Matty asks Wheels to be in a music video but she turns it down. Wheels and Alex talking album release dates, Wheels goes to catch the end of the Girls music video. Matty and Wheels argue. The accident, the hospital, and chapter ends with Alex finding Matty taking him to the hospital.

Part 13: Do Me A Favour ~ Wheels recovering. Matty’s a cheater. Alex looks after Wheels, AM gets number 1 album dethroning The 1975. Matty changed his number, Adam collecting Matty’s things. Alex and Arielle split up. Ben D*tto being a bellend, 75 boys come to save the day, Matty ends up ruining it.

Part 14: R U Mine? ~ Christmas flashback, Wheels gets upset at Matty’s presents, she smokes, Matty leaves and she brings him back. 2014 Brit Awards with Alex and the Monkeys. Brits afterparty.

Part 15: Separate And Ever Deadly ~ Andy’s wedding. Start of the AM tour. Wheels finds out about Matty and Alexa, Alex takes her around Perth to cheer her up. Matty and Arielle, Wheels leaves him a drunk voicemail. Wheels goes to see The 1975, Adam tells her about Matty and Halsey.

Part 16: One For The Road ~ Wheels has nightmares, Alex helps her. Wheels tries to draw and can’t, Alex comforts and talks to her, cosy bunk morning. Jealousy at the festival, Alex being cute on stage. Pick out new perfume. One For The Road music video and Wheels and Alex kiss. Breana loses Wheels bikini in the sea, Alex is the cutest.

Part 17: Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High? ~ Alex and Wheels get high and it gets heated, they go to the beach and they both reflect on the past, bunk antics. Wheels shows Alex her skating. Alex takes her around Vegas and they get their tattoos.

Part 18: Somebody Else ~ Alex and Wheels watch the sunset on the decking as she writes a poem. Wheels extra happy and Alex knows why. Wheels’ brain jumps to wrong conclusions about pictures of Alex and his ex. Starry night with the Monkeys, shoulder tap happens here. Leeds Fest 2014 with The 1975 and Arctic Monkeys, afterparty disaster.

Part 19: How to draw / Petrichor ~ Back home from tour, The Fab Four have a drunk night in. Fun times but then the phone rings and Alex reveals he’s moving to LA. Time skip to 2015 Wheels having a boyfriend and her first gallery that Matty crashes. Alex tells Wheels to dump her boyfriend. Wheels reconciles with Matty.

Part 20: UGH! ~ Wheels baking at 75 boy’s flat, Matty sees her bracelet, Matty names their second album. Wheels goes to LA and listens to ILIWYS and misinterprets songs and watches the videos. Alex lets Wheels listen to EYCTE.

Part 21: The Birthday Party ~ Wheels’ 30th birthday party… Aftermath with Alex at the park, then at the flat with Matty.

Part 22: Settle For A Draw ~ Redo of 30th at a bar and both bands attend. Wheels kisses everyone. Adam’s house warming where Wheels gets very drunk and George carries her to bed. The day after where there’s an Alex v Matty ceasefire and Wheels and Bestie threesome reveal, Jamaica NDA reveal, and lots of band banter.

Part 23: What Should I Say ~ Wheels drunk on twitter, baiting Alex into phone sex, hangs up to chat to Matty. Everything revealed to her the next day, and George takes her out for Valentine’s Day. 2017 Brits with The 1975, and afterparty. Never Have I Ever at Wheels’ flat.

Part 24: Be My Mistake ~ Alex comforts Wheels about Matty being in rehab. During her trip to London, Adam gives her the letter from Matty. Wheels and Matty talk everything through and he tells her to give Alex a shot. Bestie’s boyfriend reveal. Wheels joins the Monkeys on tour and after listening to Only Angel they reveal how they feel and decide to try again.

Part 25: D is for Dangerous ~ Alex lets George take her out for Valentines so he can set up a cute date. Wheels and Bestie’s wine night with Alex ends with spice. Bestie teasing them the following morning. Wheels flat hunting in London with Alex. Wheels attends George’s sisters party with the 75 boys, meeting Matty’s girlfriend. Alex stands Wheels up and he says obscene things because he’s a drunk jealous twat. Wheels finishes things with him.

Part 26: It’s Not Living (If It’s Not With You) ~ Wheels’ gallery, 75 boys are there and Alex shows up. Matty is single again. New Years with Alex and the Monkeys. Decorating gingerbread houses at Christmas with Matty. Matt Helders is a cheater. Wheels drives with Alex from London to Sheffield for the last date of The 1975’s UK tour. Matty’s a little shit on stage and Wheels leaves to go McDonalds with Alex, arrangements are agreed upon. After gig drinking in a bar, bathroom antics, Wheels and Alex leave together.

Part 27: Star Treatment ~ Wheels receives star treatment from Alex. The day after they talk, Wheels shaves Alex’s head, Alex cuts Wheels’ hair on Instagram live.

Part 28: From The Ritz To The Rubble ~ Another George and Wheels Valentines date. Matty says the wrong thing at the 2019 Brits, he and Wheels argue, Adam and Bestie end the arguing. Alex has a girlfriend, Wheels and Bestie go to Paris to see them, Alex’s girlfriend is a fucking bitch, Wheels is a bilingual legend. Ross and Wheels heart to heart, he makes her see sense. Alex doesn’t show up to Wheels’ birthday. Wheels tells Alex about what his girlfriend said, he doesn’t believe her so he gaslights her.

Part 29: Playing On My Mind ~ Leeds Fest 2019, Matty and Wheels reconcile, amazing afterparty. Matt Helders’ redemption arc, Alex listens into his and Wheels phone call and doesn’t apologise so he puts Alex in his place and tells him to fuck off. Wheels on US tour with The 1975. Matty and Wheels talk about love and they’re adorable. Wheels and Matty in Tennessee and they meet Ella and Matty buys cowboy boots and a hat. When back in London, Alex turns up at Wheels’ flat and apologises.

Part 30: Frail State Of Mind ~ Wheels and Bestie in Me & You Together Song music video. Wheels and Alex go to jazz club, end up dancing, get coffee afterwards before walking home. The 1975 O2 show where Wheels, Bestie, and Alex are in the crowd, they dance to Too Shy and cry at Guys. Back in Whee’s old flat, mystery caller turns out to be Peter, Party games and Bestie gets engaged. UK lockdown starts, Wheels is really struggling with it and she makes her decision and calls the man she can’t live without.

I Wanna Be Yours ~ Alex’s ending.

Me & You Together Song ~ Matty’s ending.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Happy reading besties, love you all x

[ohanny]

another friday, another cutie pie episode! so here are my thoughts while watching the second episode:

kuea is absolutely not me because i would never check my email first thing in the morning, notifs be damned

also even if i did get good news, i would not have the energy to throw a full "blackpink in your area" on top of my bed

kuea: oh yes, i am a bit... sore lian: ¬‿¬

ugh, why can't you just talk to this man who just happens to be a supportive, relatively mentally stable, functioning adult who dresses nice, cooks you food, pulls out your chair and YOU ACT LIKE THE RETURNING HIDE AND SEEK CHAMPION OF 2022

lian: if you need help, you can always tell me me: IF ONLY

nonetheless, i've had a boyfriend for a decade and i feel as single as the last crushed pringle at the bottom of the tube of doom when zee looks at nunew

kuea, a lying liar who lies: kon diao texted me lian: i love you me: KUEA DO YOU FEEL EVEN A LIL BAD???

i love the mission impossible theme tune

nong diao squared ready to cover up crimes

yi can smell bullshit a mile away but unfortunately for him, he's also a weak victorian bitch who gets flustered by a cheek touch from a twink he (alledgedly) fucked in his car just last week

JUST SHOW ME PERTH YOU COWARDS chapter 2

diao is a good friend with a good brain cell. we all need a diao.

kuea: i have a lot to think about. me: you also have a lo to TALK about goddammit

meanwhile poor lian is just trying to plan his barbie dream wedding, oh dear

yi is here to be the best man but also to watch the world burn.

kon diao loves lists. kon diao is me.

the world does not deserve diao. this show certainly doesnt. if he was running it, again, it would be 5 minutes long. well, maybe 15. he would keep all the spicy bits.

this beauty clinic is totally not the sponsor of this series.

the totally not sponsoring intensifies

"how do i look?" EXACTLY THE SAME AS YOU DID 30 SECONDS AGO YOU BABY SKINNED MOCHI OF PERFECTION

i will never not mishear this as "cosmic-exo entertainment" and i am not sorry

uh-oh, their barbie dream weddings are NOT the same

lsakjfkasljfafj a nuer x syn intermission! and nuer has a less questionable shirt on!

you two (ಥ﹏ಥ)

but props to syn never hiding his intentions and props to nuer respecting his choices even if they make him a sad boy. SOME PEOPLE could never

hia yi is eternal suffering personified even at a cake tasting and quickly becoming my favourite.

foei: oh is it too crowded? do we need more room? the gays: *offended*

salaldkjf i am catching vibes. pls tell me they will grey's anatomy this and diao and yi will end up getting married in the barbie dream wedding horror show while kuea and lian elope in korea

"you can make the final decision" says lian, not having any idea they like the polar opposite things.

he is a smooth bastard though. "ah yes, my favourite wedding singer will be too busy being my husband"

"oh no, how will our suits match if we cannot see them?" you dumbo, you have kon diao, the wedding planner extraordinaire. he has a list for that.

diao has been calling out bullshit since birth at this point.

yi: ah yes, they are so compatible. diao: dude, they can't agree on anything. yi: which is not my problem.

yi really be like "pfffft, let them talk it out between them" as if we have time to be here for the next ten years. he really couldn't give less fucks, lol

DIAO LEGIT IS LIKE IZZIE PLANNING MERDER'S WEDDING

how can he answer cosmic-exo in that suit. go change.

oh, the straights are at it again

lian: thank you yi: oh, you already picked a suit? lian: yes yi: wow, i am so helpful. you are blessed to have me tolerate you.

i love how nunew's voice gets so much deeper when he switches to english

IF ONLY YOU WERE THAT EXCITED ABOUT YOUR OWN WEDDING

kuea: what should i do? me screaming at my tv: TALK TO YOUR MAN

diao is seriously like baby yoda and syn doesn't need to become a monk. he just needs to hang out with diao more for some deep wisdom and then keep living in sin.

nuer is a sweet understanding angel and syn is a pouty baby and i could watch these two forever

"it's our wedding, not just mine." except you have NO IDEA you're not getting your wedding but an industrial scale keerati legacy production

yi: see? they're totally on the same page diao: ...

who is this random laxatives lady and why does she look like she's about to place a curse on kuea?

lian: you pick kuea: i am fine with everything narrator: he was not, in fact, fine with anything

diao turn of the tap for fucks sake, it is very obvious you are not paying your own bills in this economy

diao: my dog is so smart yi: your dog is literally an idiot

oh god here we have hia yi talk about marriage and kasdjflkafj they might kiss and i can't believe i am about to say this but at this point diao needs to worry about me cooking that cockblocking dog :D

WE HAVE A STAIRCASE WITH A HAND RAIL? IN A BL?!?!?!

lian: *trying* kuea: cosmic-exo is calling, byeee

look at his sad eyes, he KNOWS

"why am i talking to a doll?" BECAUSE IT IS MORE LIKELY TO HAVE AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION WITH YOU. you deserve better, boo.

lian: aren't you kirin already kuea: but i could be cosmic-exo kirin in korea. lian: okay. kuea: ... wait what?

OH FUCK SCREW THE WEDDING WAS THAT PERTH I JUST SAW?!?!?!?

[scotianostra]

Margaret Stewart, "Margaret of Scotland" "Dauphine of France" was born on December 25th 1424 in Perth.

Margaret had married Louis XI son of Charles VII and Maria d'Anjou on 24 June 1436 in Tours Cathedral. As you would expect this marriage had more about the Auld Alliance than any love story,.

Margaret sailed for France in March 1436, and she was escorted by some of the greatest Scottish nobles. She entered Poitiers, where a child dressed as an angel crowned her with a wreath of flowers. She was just a child herself, aged only 11, he husband, Louis in Tours was 13, they wed on 25 June 1436 and she became the Dauphine of France. The marriage of course was not consummated right away and she was taken into the household of the French Queen, Marie of Anjou, where she reportedly saw very little of her husband, whose aversion of her was remarked upon by contemporaries, the French knew her as Marguerite d'Écosse

She is said to have devoted much of her time to writing, and she was criticised by doctors for it, who claimed that her “poetic overwork” may have attributed to her death. Unfortunately, none of her works survive to this day. Reportedly, Louis ordered that all her papers be destroyed.

She was treated with kindness by King Charles VII and his wife, and when she died on 16 August 1445, there was a great outpouring of grief. Her two sisters, Eleanor and Joan, were on their way to France at the invitation of Marie of Anjou, but they arrived just a few days after Margaret’s death.

An unidentified Scot wrote of Margaret,

"Alas that I should have to write what I sadly relate about her death…I wrote write this saw her every day, for the space of nine years, alive and enjoying herself in the company of the King and Queen of France. But then…I saw her, within the space of eight days, first in good health and then dead and disembowelled and laid in a tomb at the corner of the high altar, in the cathedral church of Châlons."

She is buried in Saint-Laon church in the French department of Deux-Sèvres, a canopy over her tomb is all that remains after the destruction during the French Revolution, a modern floor plaque and grill have been added her coffin can be seen though the grill.

There is a lot more history to read about the marriage and her life here from the excellent Freelance History Writer https://thefreelancehistorywriter.com/…/margaret-stewart-o…/

[finewebcoders]

Best Wedding Catering Perth: Pizza Catering Perth WA

Are you tired of the same old wedding fayre? If the thought of another bland chicken or overcooked salmon dish sends shivers down your spine, it's time to rethink your wedding menu. Imagine a reception where your guests are raving about the food, not just the dress. Pizza Catering Perth WA can make that dream a reality.

We offer a fresh, exciting approach for the Best wedding catering Perth that will leave your guests wanting more. From classic Margherita to gourmet creations, our pizzas are made with the finest ingredients and cooked to perfection. Let us transform your wedding reception into a mouthwatering celebration.

Why Choose Party Catering in Perth?

You may hardly believe it, but pizza itself can be the best way to feed all your guests at the wedding. It is very flexible, tasty, and preferred by generations since it is consumed from childhood. Pizza Catering Perth WA offers the Best wedding catering Perth.

Our menu boasts a range of options, from classic Margherita to gourmet creations bursting with flavour. With a pizza bar, you're providing a fun, interactive element to your reception while ensuring everyone's taste buds are satisfied.

Best Wedding Catering Perth Packages 

To make it easier for you, we do acknowledge that every wedding is different and therefore, allow you to make your choice from our Best wedding catering Perth packages. No matter if you are organising an intimate dinner or a big party we can come up with a menu that will excite your guests. Our packages include:

Buffet-style catering: A more laid-back outfit that can be worn by many different types of guests.

Sit-down dinner: In simpler words, for a more formal and better-looking wedding reception

READ MORE...

[legendbridal]

Wedding Dress Rental Perth

Wedding Dress Rental Perth offers an exquisite selection of bridal gowns for budget-savvy brides in Western Australia. With a range of styles, sizes, and accessories, they provide a cost-effective and elegant solution for your special day.

[legends-bridal]

Receiving the Best Wedding Gown Showroom in Perth?

Are you searching for a wedding dress in Perth immediately? We know something about wedding dresses in Perth, where we have been for almost 30 years. A brand new bridal pop-up store located inside Legends Bridal in Joondalup, WA. Initially owned by Linda Moon before she retired, the shop is now the proud owner of Susan Matthews, who worked with Linda for 9 years. We are relaxed, approachable and super passionate about what we do. Please call us at (08) 9300 0133 for information.

[closetdropau]

Save Money and Look Fabulous: Evening Dress Hire Tips

When it comes to dressing up for a special event, evening dress hire is a fantastic way to look stunning without breaking the bank. At Closet Drop, we offer a range of beautiful evening dress hire to make sure you shine at any occasion. Here are some top tips for saving money while still looking fabulous with evening dress hire.

Why Choose Evening Dress Hire?

Opting for evening dress hire instead of buying can be a game-changer for your budget. Evening dress hire allows you to enjoy high-quality, stylish dresses at a fraction of the purchase price. Here’s why evening dress hire is a smart choice:

Cost-Effective: Evening dress hire is more affordable than buying a new dress.

Variety: Access to a wide range of styles and designers.

Convenience: Easy to find formal dress hire near you.

Sustainability: Renting is eco-friendly compared to buying new.

Tips for Finding the Perfect Evening Dress

When searching for the perfect evening dress, keep these tips in mind:

Plan Ahead: Start your search for evening dress hire well in advance. This gives you more options and time to find the perfect dress.

Know Your Measurements: Accurate measurements help ensure that the dress fits perfectly.

Research Local Options: Look for evening dress hire options in your area. For instance, search for “formal dress hire near me” in locations like Adelaide, Brisbane, Canberra, Geelong, Gold Coast, Melbourne, Newcastle, Perth, Sunshine Coast, and Sydney.

Consider Special Needs: If you’re looking for maternity rental dresses or wedding dress rentals, make sure to check for specific options.

Top Locations for Evening Dress Hire

No matter where you are, Closet Drop has you covered:

Adelaide

Brisbane

Canberra

Geelong

Gold Coast

Melbourne

Newcastle

Perth

Sunshine Coast

Sydney

With evening dress hire from Closet Drop, you can look amazing and stay within budget. Visit Closet Drop and follow us on Facebook and Pinterest for the latest updates and style inspirations.

Save money and look fabulous with our evening dress hire services at Closet Drop!

Feel free to adjust or let me know if you need any more details!

[australieh]

The Art of Lying in Interviews

Lessons From a Desperate Backpacker

 

I have a new job! My fifth one in the last 12 months, the true backpacker experience. I am a Temp Reception/Admin girl at a big fancy engineering company, located in one of the many industrial areas of Perth. It took me a month of applying and about 35 applications on SEEK, Australia’s biggest job forum, but I finally landed an interview. A girl named Georgia called from a recruitment agency and asked if I have my own vehicle, what my working rights are and how I feel about data entry, and then booked me in for Friday at 12pm. It was to be the same day as another interview I’d gotten for a sales job that I didn’t really want, but that I figured I’d give a go just in case. It was desperate times for me after being unemployed for 6 weeks, along with big wedding bills looming. I figured I’ll take what I can get, even if I do despise the idea of schmoozing people over a cold call about solar panels over their lunch break.

 

So, when Friday morning came, I put on the carefully planned outfit I’d laid out for myself the night before: white button up shirt and black dress pants from the op shop, with a Kmart blazer borrowed from a friend. I applied the new makeup I’d bought on a spending spree two days before, not daring to touch the $82 YSL primer I’d impulse bought at the department store. I planned on exchanging it for a pair of office appropriate loafers, since the only shoes I owned were combat boots, skate shoes and beat-up sandals. The primer & its carefully folded receipt joined my air pods, a minty-fresh vitamin D mouth spray and a Velcro curler in the small pocket of my tote bag. Ready for the day.

 

The first interview was for the sales job. A 10am appointment in the city, which I triple checked from the email they sent me. Directions to the office included the words “Stop n’ Grab Convenience” and the ad title was posted as “Immediate Start – No Experience Needed,” so my hopes weren’t exactly high.

When I got off the train at 9:27am, I had enough time to grab a coffee. I spotted some A-frame signs with photos of cappuccinos on a marble staircase, so I followed them into a fancy office building. Inside, I joined a throng of corporate looking people ordering flat whites. I inspected all the women’s shoes while I waited for my coffee, trying not to feel self-conscious about my black vans. I’d chosen them over my fake leather combat boots due to the fact it was forecasted to be 33 degrees that day, but now felt like an imposter in them. Everyone can tell I don’t belong here, I thought.

 

Despite it all, I’d found myself feeling optimistic as I trudged up the sidewalk with my cappuccino. I watched the bright morning light fall between the tall buildings and glint off their windows. 9:30am tends to have that affect, especially in Australia where usually the sun is already intense enough to make you turn on your A/C and squint through your sunglasses. That sort of toxically happy vibe is contagious, even to me in an anxious, pre-interview state. As I turned the corner I thought, I could do this every day. Maybe this job wouldn’t be so bad.

About 5 minutes later, all forms of optimism had turned to incredulity. As the email said to, I looked for the Stop n’ Grab Convenience, which was easy to spot due to the number of people milling around it. They all looked how I felt, which was confused and nervous. All wore some version of sneaker, and were dressed in varying levels of office-appropriate wear. A guy in the corner stood with his cap covering almost his entire face, and a black hoodie tightly stretched over a white dress shirt. A girl nearer the door wore a grey trench coat with her hair in a tight bun, and another wore gym shorts with a hoodie and hightop converse. One guy wore a full suit with dress shoes. It was like walking into a career fair at a university and watching all the panicking graduates-to-be trying to look like adults.

 

I peaked inside to see a white poster with “CLIMASOLAR INTERVIEW WAITING ROOM” written in purple marker, tacked to the wall near a tight staircase. You had to pass by the store counter to get there, the guy behind it looking bored and unphased by the crowd forming near the sign. By 9:55am there are almost 20 people in and around the store, all looking around at each other with equally confused expressions. A guy in a red t-shirt and cargo pants asked me in broken English, “You are here for sales job?” and I nodded, mustering a smile. I realize that everyone who applied got called for an interview, and feel sheepish thinking how carefully I’d picked out my outfit.

 

My first instinct was to leave and try to maintain my dignity, but the bigger part of me wanted to see what kind of trainwreck this was going to be. Plus, I had just taken the train all the way here and spent $5 on a coffee, so, I might as well see it through. At 10am on the dot a guy in golf shorts and a polo shirt, maybe 25 years old, unlocks the door to the staircase and everyone starts filing up the stairs. I hide my smile when I see a ping pong table in the corner. The guy herds us into a small room with a 6-person table and a white board with 25-year-old boy handwriting on it. Everyone crowds along the walls, but I manage to snag a seat in the back corner, texting Conor “I can’t wait to tell you about this” with a popcorn emoji and a laughing face. The guy who let us in sits on a stool next to the white board, tells us his name is James, and starts telling us about the job in a British accent. Highlights are that the day starts at 11am, there are free beers in the fridge (just don’t drink them in the morning) and there is a ping pong table you can use any time you want. First month pay is $500 a week and then after that you can get as much as $1500 a week! Plus, did he mention the free beers?!

 

He then asks us to take turns saying our names and our experience, then again saying our hobbies, and I am suddenly launched back into a junior high classroom. We all fidget with our fingers and say things like “uhm, I like to hang out with my friends.” The ridiculousness of at all hits me and I can’t stop grinning. Then, he brings out a basket of items and tells us to guess what he wants us to do with them. “Yep”, he says, “you guessed it.” We are to pick an item from the basket and sell it to him. Everyone laughs nervously as he exits the room, and I see him sit down at a desk and pull out his phone while everyone grabs something from the basket. I’m next to last and I luck out with a small bottle of Bushman’s bug spray, which reminds me of the time Conor and I went camping with our new inflatable kayak (promptly returned the next day). We’d gotten viciously attacked by march flies the second we stepped out of our Rav4, their massive pincers biting ruthlessly and thick wings as loud as a motorcycle. It was like something out of a horror film. We’d spent an hour taking turns pumping the kayak while the other swatted flies away from the pumper’s ankles, before abandoning the kayak for a swim in the river. A kind lady had gone around the campsite that evening offering all the unprepared dummies (ie. us) Bushman’s bug spray, saving us from an evening of hiding in our tent.

 

Holding the tiny bottle of Busman’s in that crowded board room, images of John Bernthal selling Leonardo DiCaprio a pen in the Wolf of Wall Street run through my mind, and I am unable to keep the bemused smirk off my face. I can see everyone panicking about what to say, but all I can do is silently giggle. At last, James pulls his feet down from his desk and comes back in, asking for a volunteer to go first. I watch as the sneaker-clad 20-somethings take turns pitching crayons, sticky tape and rulers. One guy stands up on his seat, while another girl’s words are barely discernable. When it comes to me I keep it short n sweet: “Don’t be a dummy like me and go into the woods without Bushman’s bug spray- it has SPF, too!” I’m just here for the show. When that’s finished, he asks us again to go around the room with our names and when we can start, and we do so while he marks up the paper we all wrote our names and phone numbers on. He finishes by saying thanks for coming in, and if we don’t hear from him don’t take it personally, he does 2 or 3 of these interviews a day (a day!?!?!). Then he swiftly opens the door to dismiss us, and we file out while two other 25 year old boys dressed in shorts and t-shirts play ping pong. I’m back outside the Stop n’ Grab by 10:20am.

 

Walking back towards the train I immediately call Conor. He answers the phone, “Spill the tea” and we laugh for the next 15 minutes. “That was worth every minute and dollar spent getting here,” I tell him, and I mean it, swiping my Transperth card. I run to catch the train back out of the city, and that experience is over. As I’m finding my seat I am already filing it in my “Backpacker Experiences” box, where it joins things like hitchhiking in Panama and sleeping in 8-bed hostel dorm rooms.

 

The thing about me is that, usually, once I’ve got the interview, I’ve got the job. I interview well because I am an expert at telling people what they want to hear. I make sure to appear bubbly and enthusiastic, confident but not cocky. I smile and shake their hands, and I ask what the work culture is like and what success in this role looks like. But I’ll let you in on a secret. The real key to an interview is not to be shy about how bad you want that job. Some might think that’s a bad look, but people love feeling like they are in control; like they are in the power seat. If you do it right, they’ll be so charmed by your enthusiasm that they’ll look past the fact that you’ve hardly ever been at a job longer than 6 months. You’ll leave them smitten and excited to invite you onto their inevitably mismanaged, dysfunctional team.

 

It was with this confidence and a stomach full of coffee and scrambled eggs that I drove to my next interview that Friday. I’d ditched my vans for my boots during a quick stop at Conor’s parent’s place, where we were crashing until our room in a new sharehouse was available. After the crowd of sneakers at the sales interview I opted to just be a bit hot rather than wear sneakers. Optics, you know. When I arrived, I knew I’d made the right decision. Walking through the glass door I was greeted by two girls at the reception desk who pointed to a tablet for me to sign in to. They both wore only black, and when one of them showed me to a room with a sturdy wooden table and branded pens, I noticed her black leather heels. I filled out an application which, as they all are, was a form asking me to write out everything that is already on my resume. I handed it back to her when I was finished, and then waited to be greeted by two similarly dressed women, close to my age, who both firmly shook my hand. They had my resume printed out in front of them and a list of questions which they jotted down notes under.

 

I went to work charming them and selling them the lie I have to tell in interviews for office jobs, which is that I am finally settling down after years of travelling. I have gotten quite good at this lie, and nearly convince myself sometimes. I tell them how nice it is to be looking for jobs where I want to stay for a while, and how I want to put down roots. I have a line about wanting to put up a shelf that people love, and these two women ate it up. When the interview was over, I waved goodbye to the girls at the reception desk, got in my car and phoned Conor: “I definitely got that one, they loved me,” I told him. As I left the parking lot, a girl who I assume is next up for the interview walked up to the reception doors; she was wearing sneakers and a white t-shirt.

 

Sure enough, when Conor and I arrive at a country pub to meet his sister 1.5 hours later, I have a missed call from the recruitment agency. She says congratulations, Raylene! They want me to start Tuesday, fill out one million induction forms and am I okay to do a medical? I say yes, no worries, of course, how exciting! Conor and I cheers our beers and my adrenaline from the interview turns into wave of relief. I’m finally employed. The grovelling and the performing is over. I’m going to have income again!

 

We order chicken burgers to celebrate, and I message a girl on Facebook Marketplace about a pair of Dr. Marten loafers. I bargain down the price and she says I can pick them up later that day.

 

 

I never hear from the sales job.