#probably after Ultimax--she's living alone but her friends still check up on her and stay the occasional night with her

[tacitusauxilium]

Since yesterday, the text messages between any (and all) members of the Shadow Operatives have gone quiet. Radio silence for hours... and Fuuka knew the reasoning why. She eyed the calendar by her door, always writing down whenever the members met or when someone was coming over to see her.

However, with 10/4 being circled in a bright red marker, Fuuka couldn't stop staring and knew full well what it meant: a week full of nightmares, tears, and having to pinch herself to make sure her mind was waking up in reality.

Fuuka had come to terms, on her own, that while it wasn't her fault Shinjiro protected her from letting Takaya know of her being the navigator, it ate away at her every year the day popped up. Even with him being alive and doing whatever he loved, far from the other members of the Shadow Ops, Fuuka never kept herself in contact with Shinjiro unless it was work related or a quick answer for a question. That's all she had to think--this is a friendship.

Then again, how do you get a conversation started with the one who took the heat for you? And how do you say I'm sorry when every time you look at him, you want to sob uncontrollably--and you love the man so much that you can't afford to give him any more problems. And the grief the last 14 years have caused for Fuuka was enough to still grow around it while it stayed dormant in her chest and mind. Dating was never an option--she feared she would be the problem and feared she'd put anyone in danger. Look at how she and her friends got captured.

"...I hope this month flies by like the last month." She places her hands to her chest, taking a deep breath in and out, and walks towards her bedroom after locking the door. Fuuka knew that the grief has helped her become a bit soft but hard around the corners. She still bites off more than she can chew, but still finishes her meal nonetheless. Fuuka lays on the bed and sighs heavily. Her phone next to her as she knew better than to hope for any text messages to go through.

Fuuka looked over at the picture of all of them at the festival--the only photo where everyone was alive and well. Alive. And well. Fuuka bit her bottom lip and covered her eyes with her arms. This was going to be a long and slow month--and she wished she could sleep the whole month away to ease the pain her heart gave her when she saw Mitsuru, Akihiko, Ken, and Shinjiro.

Why the hell did she have to love the damn man? And why didn't she keep in contact with the man who saved her life?