#queueing this so i dn't have to look at it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

datastate · 2 years

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sometimes it does feel like people take the easy route out when it comes to writing paternal abuse with the whole - “ they never loved you “ - but to me it’s always much more interesting for there to be a hint of care or love there. love the potential, the ideal they see in you, rather than yourself. love how you look like their spouse. love you out of obligation to the one they actually loved, but not caring to move forward in life with you, to provide more colorful experiences than the everyday of feeding you, bathing you, and setting you to sleep. love you so intensely, they react horribly when you go against their word because they’re only “ setting you on the right path “ to keep you from pain... and so on

#ahh... there's just. much more to work with. and considering the source of their abuse as something #separate from the love that already exists is just. hm. it works on occasion of course (desire for power/control)#but after a time i just. want to see it tied together. see what this character makes of it then...#this whole. idea. is how i take gashu & mister chidouin honestly... i can't see them any other way #i mean. sara lives a lie. but kai in contrast now says with confidence he never loved his father.#and in a way it is true. his father loved him but never provided enough for kai to have that affection in turn #it was more. ah. what's the word. there was a connection there but it wasn't love. on kai's part #meanwhile gashu was very much. pushing kai into this ideal as to not have asunaro hurt him. though kai denied and... yeah.#well we know how it goes ;_; anyway. man. idk what to say. hello #queueing this so i dn't have to look at it #jestersvaguely #yttdposting #parental abuse #father abuse

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