#reevaluating ai di's anger and teasing and realizing it was all heartbreak. THAT IT WAS ALL HEARTBREAK. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

casualavocados · 11 months ago

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I asked myself why I failed to notice. It was the first time we'd been apart that long. I found the birthday gifts you prepared for me in my room, from my 18th to my 21st. ...Shut up. I started to think about what you were doing back then. Were you celebrating my birthday all by yourself?

KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 12

#kiseki: dear to me #kisekiedit #kdtm #kiseki dear to me #chen yi x ai di #ai di x chen yi #nat chen #chen bowen #louis chiang #chiang tien #jiang dian #userspring #userrain #uservid #userspicy #userjjessi #pdribs #*cajedit #*gif #do you ever cry about the chen yi that woke up to find ai di gone.#do you ever think about the chen yi that felt ai di's tears on his face and reached up to hold him closer. to comfort him.#who saw & chose in a moment the true ai di that had always been by his side then lost him in the next. & woke up to learn it was his fault #cuz i think about the chen yi during ai di's prison time a lot. i think about him going over so many of his memories #reevaluating ai di's anger and teasing and realizing it was all heartbreak. THAT IT WAS ALL HEARTBREAK.#the guilt...the desperation & need to get through to ai di so he never makes him feel that way again. understanding that he loves ai di too #the way he gently touches ai di's hands and face here... he tied him up to keep him from running but hes being so earnest and SO careful #with ai di's pain & ai di's love. his expressions & the way he takes deep breaths before admitting things out loud like its clear #hes thinking hard abt what he wants to say and how he wants to say it. bc he has to make ai di understand how much he means this #how much he misses him. how much he wants to make this right. how he wants & needs to be by ai di's side forever bc he loves him!#he loves him!!!!!!!!! GOD. i love chen yi.

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