#rn I'm just trying to keep it manageable. set limits for myself and hopefully once the prescription is filled it'll go away on its own
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Fuck dude it'd been so long I was starting to think I used to be dramatic abt calling it an addiction but this fucking relapse is. I mean. Idk man this is a lot
#probably delete later this is personal and prolly triggering lmao. sorry fudkdkdn#it's just. like I'm a little shocked at how much I'm thinkin abt it even when I feel fine#like id only done it 1-5 times Total in the last maybe 4 years. and nothing major just one off instances#but this flare basically put me back at square one with it and this is overwhelming. like I am actively craving the sensation for no reason#I've done it like 7 times in the last 3 days and it's taken monumental effort to keep it that low#and idk if there's even anything I can do abt it when it's coming from an autoimmune response and not just The Brain(tm) yknow?#rn I'm just trying to keep it manageable. set limits for myself and hopefully once the prescription is filled it'll go away on its own#but I AM physically safe atm. don't worry /g#armchair speaks#tw sh#sh mention#implied sh tw#addiction mention
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