#sat at the table with my roommate like we're in a crisis room trying to stop a meteor before it hits earth

[chronicowboy]

there are so many beautiful gay women sliding into my instagram dms recently idk what to do with myself

[yunkiwii]

messy room

Pairing: BF!Yunho x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff დ

Warnings: Language, anxiety

Word Count: 1.7K

DISCLAIMER: Please remember that mental disorders need professional treatment and having a s/o isn’t the solution for those problems. Yes, having someone to support you might help a lot but again, not the solution! If you’re in this situation please please try to get some help, and stay safe! ♡

A/N: reposted from my side blog lemonadewritings (which will be deleted)

I do not own this pic, credits to owner.

Summary: basically (y/n) is having an existencial crisis (same lol) because she just finished college and doesn’t know what to do next. Yunho is the amazing bf who showed up and is a cutie. (I don’t know a better way to put this without spoiling the whole thing).

⇘

“It’s the first Monday at home, with nothing to do since college is over. You graduated last friday, but since we're in the middle of a pandemic you couldn't even celebrate it. It was just over.

“Now go find a job” said your mom enthusiastically, who certainly was tired of being your money provider.

But it is not that simple, and you felt powerless just imagining how hard it would be. Even getting the internship to finish your last year was hard as fuck, imagine trying to get a paid job. You tried to get these thoughts out of your head so that you could get some more sleep.

Pointless. The moment you felt your eyes almost shutting another wild thought popped up.

“I can’t go back to my parents’ house. I cannot go back to that shitty hometown of mine. I won’t be able to handle all that stress and fuss about all aspects of my private life. I need to find a job here, and as soon as possible!!”. You let out a loud sigh and scream into your pillow. It was too frustrating, not knowing what to do next. No one prepared you for this. You were way too focused on graduating and never thought about what you would do next, now you have to deal with your existential crisis.

You turn around again in bed and try to sleep a bit more, once again. You don’t even know what time it is but you’re pretty sure you should be up already, assuming by the sunbeams that have been reflecting into your mirror and back to your face for a while now.

You don’t know how much more time you’ve slept until your doorbell started ringing furiously, but you felt like a truck ran over you and did reverse and ran again. You still got up, this time the frustrating feeling of before is gone. Now you just do not feel a thing. It’s like you’re not there but you’re aware of everything, it’s like someone had put you in automatic mode.

You finally got to the door, and the doorbell only stopped when you opened it. A small feeling of warmth ran over your body as soon as you saw that it was Yunho, your boyfriend. You’ve never seen that expression on his face though. It was a mixture of worry and relieve.

“(y/n) are you okay?? Did something happen? It’s already 2 pm and you haven’t texted me back nor answered the phone!” As he says this, with a bit of panic in his voice, he gives you the biggest hug ever. You reluctantly hug him back, resting your forehead in his shoulder.

“My phone must have died during the night.. I-I was sleeping..”, you stutter feeling a bit dizzy and out of yourself.

Yunho pulls away to look at your face and gives you a little smile. He shuts the door and walks with you to your bedroom, his hand on your lower back guiding you and giving the soft feeling of support. You still feel like you’re not there, so you don't even notice the face Yunho makes when he sees the mess your room is. He immediately realises that you are in fact not okay. Hell, he realised it as soon as you opened the door but the state of your bedroom and the fact you were sleeping until now, those were major indicators of an anxiety crisis attacking you.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” the tall boy holds your arm helping you onto the bed again, seeming even taller now, “You wanna talk?”

He sat next to you in your bed and held your hands, giving you a look of comprehension and empathy. You looked at him and in your mind your thoughts started running a 1000 miles per hour and you couldn’t focus on one. But you knew that externally you just looked blank. The panic going on inside your mind didn’t trespass to your skin and you were living it alone. You wanted to tell Yunho but you didn’t know how, so you just shook your head negatively and snuggled next to him.

You both stayed like that for a while. His left arm over your shoulder, your face buried in his chest and his right hand caressing your thigh softly. Yunho knew you well enough to not talk or do anything else until you were ready for it.

The smell of your boyfriend's freshly washed clothes mixed with his calm heartbeat helped you to calm your mind a bit, and a couple of minutes later you finally found the guts and the words to talk.

“I’m not feeling well Yunho.. but.. I.. I.. don’t know how to explain.. and…”, your thoughts started rambling again and you couldn’t finish your sentence.

“It’s okay (y/n)..”, Yunho held you tighter and placed a soft kiss on your forehead, resting his chin over your head while you let a tear slip and roll down to his light blue hoodie, your heart racing.

“Have you eaten anything yet?” you shook your head, still buried in his chest. “So I assume you didn’t take your meds either…?” once again, you don’t look at him, only shook your head no. You notice that he is clearly worried, and you know he is also a bit mad that you didn’t take your medicine. And yet he keeps talking to you in a calm tone, knowing too well that getting angry at you wouldn’t do any good.

He gets up holding your hand and the biggest smile he could pull off, indicating that he wants you to go with him. You groan, not wanting to leave the only place where you can feel comfort even when this big storm his happening inside you.

“Come on, (y/n)! Your room stinks, we need to open a window!” He chuckled and that actually made you smile for a second. Looking up to his adorable puppy eyed face you couldn’t just say no, so you stood up. “And you have to eat!”

Yunho led you all the way to the couch in your living room, way tidier than your bedroom which made you realise that you had been living in a big fat mess the past couple of days. Your boyfriend worked over the weekend and your roommate had moved out last week, leaving you all alone to your thoughts.

In the meantime, you asked Yunho to order pizza from your favourite place, and he made you promise you would take your meds and keep your phone alive for now on. You kissed his cheek as a way of sealing the deal and both of you smiled. Your heart was still racing and your mind a mess, but you decided that you would never want to leave your boyfriend this worried about you again, it wasn’t fair. So, you took your meds, ate pizza with him and fell asleep (again) while watching a random movie that was on at the time.

When you woke up, for what seemed to be the hundredth time that day, you were alone, the TV was pitch black and you had a warm cozy red blanket wrapped around you like a burrito. You felt so comfortable and calm, all your thoughts of before settled down. You were still a bit overwhelmed, but nothing compared to this morning. You concentrated to try and figure out any sound that would give away Yunho’s presence in your apartment. But nothing. All you could hear was the raindrops hitting the window.

It was darker now, and you picked up your phone from the coffee table, now fully charged. You don’t remember putting it there nor charging it, so you assumed Yunho did it for you. The thought of him taking care of you made you blush and your heart skipped a beat, even though you have been dating for almost a year now. He simply had that much power over you, and every time you’re with him you still feel like it’s the first time, falling for him over and over again.

You texted your boyfriend thanking him for everything and apologising for your behaviour. You get embarrassed whenever this happens and you can’t get out of it for yourself. You never wanted to feel dependent on someone else and had always taken care of your problems alone, so having someone else to help you always makes you feel guilty, like you’re a burden to them.

Your phone lit up.

Yunho: YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN!

Yunho: Sorry for yelling at you.

Yunho: I love you (y/n)! I just came to the dorm to pick up some of my stuff. I’ll sleep at your place tonight ;)

Yunho: Oh, and I’ll cook dinner! Don’t do anything until I get there! See you soon babe xx

You smiled like a little kid and a bunch of butterflies battled each other inside you. “I love you, Yunho.”, you texted back.

You felt bad for him doing all this for you and wanted to give something back, so you headed to the kitchen to bake him his favourite dessert. You left the cake cooking in the oven and went to take a shower and clean your bedroom. When you got to your room you couldn’t believe your eyes. Your bed was neatly made with clean sheets, the bowl of old cereals was gone, your books were all organized as well as your desk. The clothes that were all scattered around the room before were also gone. It looked so clean and smelled like vanilla, your favourite scent. You were indeed really lucky.

You were about to call Yunho when you hear the front door open, he must have taken your keys. You ran to him and threw your arms around his neck kissing him like there was no tomorrow. He was caught of guard and stumbled back into the closed door, letting the bags in his hands fall onto the floor. You could feel him smile during the kiss and his hands wrapped around your waist pulling you even closer.

“I don’t deserve you Jeong Yunho.” You say as you pull back to look at the most beautiful man you’ve ever met. Both of you all smiles and giggles.

“Glad to know I have my girl back.”

It still amazes you how the simple presence of one person could make you feel this good, all your worries pushed aside for later.

♡MASTERLIST♡

net: @ateezlovenet