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#scars don't just skin over. the flesh underneath fills in and stops throbbing.
neverendingford ยท 9 months
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#tag talk#cons of getting better emotionally. I have to find new music because I can't stand the sad depressed music I usually listen to#listening to autoheart and absolutely not vibing anymore because I'm like hmmmm not me though I'm better than that#I still like a lot of Mumford and Sons though. I doubt that will change since it's delicious religious trauma vibes#but maybe that will change some day too. time will tell.#every day I'm alive I can look forward to changing in fundamental ways I once thought immutable facets of my existence.#and that's fucking sick as hell. things get better and I heal bone deep.#scars don't just skin over. the flesh underneath fills in and stops throbbing.#the suicide scars on my arm healed over within a month but it took six for the flesh underneath to really heal fully.#took months for it to stop hurting when I bumped it wrong.#months before my elbows stopped twinging when I bent them too far.#but they've healed through and through and I live on and I get better and I can do so much more now#I expected to feel like shit in January since historically that's my most depression-filled time of year that I just have to survive#but I genuinely feel so good right now I'm so fucking ecstatic.#things get better. I knew that when I was seventeen and I didn't want to put in the work to make it through.#but good or bad I've made it through and it's so fucking beautiful on the other side.#obviously my perspective will change and develop and grow in the next few months. and we'll see how I feel next January#but I have such high hopes right now
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