#see you tomorrow from my grave after I've drowned in my tears

[theoastor]

* / i'll see you in 40

You're all I've ever wanted I know that I love you Still driving Take my hands in yours, please don't go

tw: kidnapping, stabbing, violence, blood, torture, knives, death

mentioned: @sarahoh

Maybe he should’ve been more cautious. 

The faint sound of Catherine Graves was a constant during the evening news, so much so that if it wasn’t a name or a picture on the screen, the echoes of warnings fell on deaf ears as Theo left his house, deciding to go out for a change and head to one of the bars in town. He hadn’t gone out very much since returning to Nightrest, but once upon a time, he’d been well acquainted with the concept. Over his years, despite how short of a time they’d felt, Theo found himself chilling out, wanting to live a more relaxing, peaceful life. It was why he returned to Nightrest, missing his home.

Truthfully, he moved back to his hometown because he wanted to remember what it felt like to be happy again. Something he’d found, even amongst the death and the sadness they all had faced.

It was just a few drinks, mingling with the few people he’d run into along the way before exiting the bar. He didn’t want to overdo it, remembering he had plans with Sarah in the morning. Theo was giddy just thinking about it, thinking about her. He’d always found himself lost in his mind when it came to her, the rest of the world becoming a blur. He’d been thinking about asking her to be his girlfriend, making things official. He wanted to give Sarah the world, or at least the little bit of it that he could, and he couldn’t ignore the way she’d been tugging at his heartstrings since he moved back.

Would tomorrow be the day?

He pondered the idea, tilting his head to the side as he began the walk to his car, not noticing there was someone following behind him. Maybe he should’ve been paying attention. Maybe he should’ve listened to the warnings about staying safe. If he had, maybe the world wouldn’t have suddenly turned black, combined with a sharp pain in the back of his head. Maybe he should’ve been quicker. With not just this moment, but with his life. With moving back here, and with Sarah. Maybe if he’d gone after what he wanted sooner, he wouldn’t be in this position.

…

The next time he woke up, Theo wasn’t sure how long it had been, head and body slumped over on the floor and his vision feeling blurry. He couldn’t move, maybe because he was in shock, but mostly because the more he tugged at his own body, fighting to regain his senses, it was clear he’d been tied up, left to lay on the ground with no escape. There was a piece of cloth tied around his mouth, any cries for help muffled and only attracting attention to himself. His vision grew blurry, and he could only make out someone walking towards him. It was then when the fear set in, and before he could react, his side was kicked in, over and over again until Theo was hunched over on his side, tears dripping onto the hard pavement and his mouth hurting from biting down so hard. He tried to look up, tried to see who was doing this to him, if he’d made some kind of enemy coming back to town. But just as his head slightly rose, there was a sharp pain attached with it, the feeling of his hair being harshly gripped only for his skull to be bashed into the floor. He was shaking, the overwhelming amount of pain rushing through his body and causing him to grow unconscious again.

The next time he woke up, there was a knife in his gut.

It jolted him awake, unable to fully react or comprehend before the blade felt as if it was plunged into a new spot, a cry of pain leaving his muffled mouth, any pleas or attempts to get help drowned out by the fabric. His eyes can only make out someone standing over him, a few more cuts and stabs enough to satisfy whoever it was for the time being. There’s blood seeping onto the floor, staining his clothing, his hair, his face. He’s left covered in his own blood, his own pain as the figure walks away and his eyes succumb to darkness again.

Time has become a foreign measurement to Theo. He can’t tell how often he’s painfully woken up, whether it be a physical battering or a blade ready to carve him out whole. He’s lost track of how many times it’s been, mind empty and destroyed from the turmoil and strain put on his body. Everytime his eyes open, he wonders if it will be the last. He hopes it’ll be the last. Theo loses hope in anyone finding him, in anyone uncovering the screams and cries of pain that are echoed out. There are moments where he can hear someone else, but it’s too far. Everything feels so far right now, and he can’t scream loud enough to get anyone’s attention besides the very people he wants to escape.

His mind drifts to Sarah. His sweet, best friend Sarah. There are tears streaming down his face after another beating, except this time, it’s because he’s thinking about her. Theo doesn’t realize how many regrets he holds when it comes to her. How if he’d been better, if he’d been wiser, he would’ve been able to give her the world. Instead he’d spent his adolescence pining after her, smiling at her cluelessness but never gaining the courage to tell she was his everything. Instead he left her to pursue a career that never fulfilled him, never made him happy because every smile or ounce of praise he got didn’t compare to the teasing or playfulness of her. Instead, he’d waited for her to make the first move, letting her guide the pace between their gradual change in relationship. There were so many things he hadn’t said, and it burdens him right now most of all.

I want to be your boyfriend. I moved back here because of you. You’re my person, my happiness. I love you.

In the little stream of consciousness, Theo made himself feel better, dreaming of what could’ve been and what should’ve been. Everything he should’ve said but would never be able to. The pain he feels right now thinking about her doesn’t compare to the pain coursing through every part of his body. Somehow, it pales in comparison, and he finds himself sobbing at the thought. Theo finds his own heart breaking with no escape, nowhere to run and only left to drown in his own tears and blood. He wants it to end. 

Vision blurred again by his shiny eyes, tearful and sad, Theo looks up, each breath he lets out ragged and shallow. Maybe he’s hallucinating, maybe it’s because of who’s on his mind, but he freezes looking at the sight in front of him. A couple. Kissing. He can’t be sure if his mind deceives him, if he’s so close to his end that he’s imagining a reality that doesn’t exist, but the picture looks more clear as his eyes focus. A couple. Kissing. He can make out the shadows, the way one tugs the other close and the way the distance between their faces ceases to exist. It’s a pretty picture, and as he looks, he thinks of her again. He finds himself watching until the world fades into black again, letting himself be foolish and imagine things were different. After being forced into unconsciousness so many times, he begins to savor it, creating a story in his mind of him being happy. Theo wonders if it’s wrong, if instead of grasping onto dreams, he should be fighting for his life. 

But he’s full of heart, and full of dreams. Theo had always been that way, always the hopeful and happy. At least he can feel his own heart beating, quickening in pace at times and slowing down in the worse moments. He has his heart, until he doesn’t.

It isn’t long before the shred of peace, the shred of happiness he’s held onto is ripped away, the feeling of a knife entering his heart indescribable. Time stops, and this time, he doesn’t let out a cry or a shriek of pain. Theo remains in shock, a knife lodged into the perfect spot of his chest before it’s pulled out, the immediate weakness being a sign it’s the end. It’s as if they knew his greatest weakness, a singular tear slipping down his cheek as the remaining feeling of hope shreds away. He wants to close his eyes, but they remain open, left to watch them walk away the same way they had the first time. Except he knows it’ll be the last, and it’s merely a waiting game. He feels it all, the way his heart slowly stops, the way every part of him shuts down but his mind, trapped in a body that would never move again. He holds onto her in his last moment, he thinks about how he wants her to be happy without him. How he wants to have the world even if it’s not him who’ll give it to her. His heart is empty, dying with every passing moment, but his soul is full of her. He closes his eyes, wondering if an image of her will appear but it remains blank. It’s over. Their story. His story.

His body grows limp, head hitting the ground with a thud and he can no longer think of Sarah. He can no longer think of anything. It’s the end of their story. The end of his.

Not everyone can have their happy ending.