#self help shit is always like 'meditate! be alone with your thoughts! you'll learn so much :)'
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10 tips for changing your life
So this week I've talked about narcissism, I've talked about my freedom from my divorce 7 years ago and then yesterday I wrote about holding on and don't giving up when you're at the end of your rope.
So today I want to give you tips on how to change your life if you are in a horrible situation. These tips helped me when I was miserable and helped me turn my life around. But like anything in life, the change has to start with you.
In AA they teach us that to overcome an addiction you first must admit you have a problem. This is also true in any aspect of your life, you must admit you have a problem, you've allowed that person to treat you like this, you allowed them to take away your self esteem, you allowed this to go on for so long. Now please don't think that I'm pointing fingers or giving all the blame to you, I'm not. I know how this happens but I'm just stating the facts, which is you're in this situation because you allowed it to happen just like I did.
I raised my hand that I allowed it and you must too. You must take responsibility for your actions in order to change. So now that you admitted that this is a problem in your life, now you can take the steps to change it.
It has to come to a point when you're done, when enough is enough, when you just can't take it one minute longer, so now that you're there I'm going to tell you these steps to start to change your life.
1.The first step Is to keep a gratitude journal.
Everyday write down something that you're grateful for, start small if you have to but do it every day. You'll be amazed by how much this works.
2. You have to grow tough skin.
I know that at this point you're used to it, you used to be called names, being put down but as you change so will the abuse. It will get rough so learn how to deal with it, learn to meditate, start yoga and go inside to your happy place when they are coming down on you. Mine was my house. I kept imagining it, peaceful, calm and filled with joy.
To keep your attitude right, put up post notes on your mirror, in your car, on your phone. Keep telling yourself that you're beautiful, you're strong, you can do this, anything that's going to inspire you. Anything that will put you in a different mindset and make you feel stronger.
3. Listen to music that will inspire you.
Whether it be the theme from Rocky, Christina Aguilera, Mary J. Blige, Gloria Gaynor's, I will survive. Anything that will inspire you to feel stronger, listen to it over and over until it gives you that courage.
4. Start educating yourself.
Start reading books, start listening to Podcasts or YouTube videos, anything that is motivational or inspiring. You need to put that in your head every single day. Listen to other people's stories of survival, it's amazing what you'll get out of what other people have been through and survived.
6. Take classes.
I know that during the pandemic we can't go out but there's always groups on Facebook or Zoom, to take a class. It could be a motivational class, a finance class, how to manage money, any class to get your self esteem back. You must invest in yourself.
7. Be around like minded people.
These are people who want to change, who are willing to put in the effort to change. It's amazing how much you can lift each other up. You'll start thinking if they can do it, so can I.
8. Reconnect with your family and friends.
They probably pulled you away from them in the past, but right now you need that support system because trust and believe when you leave you won't have anybody that you thought were "our" friends, you will be all alone.
9. Have a plan in place.
Start planning your exit route, put money away every week from the groceries. Start to buy things you know you need in advance and give it to a friend to hold. Start saying you lost your jewelry and pawn it, I'm serious here, every cent you get, put it away. Start looking for places to live and how much they are, get your resume in order if you haven't worked in a while, see what jobs are out there. If he's watching your every move, go to a friend's or a library with a computer to do this. Get together your important papers and bring them to a friend's or family's house. But get your exit plan started
10. Know that this won't be easy.
I'm sorry, most of you know I'm not Willy Wonker, I don't sugar coat shit. I want you to know in advance that at first this will be the hardest thing you've ever done but it will be so worth it.
You need to know that sometimes it will feel like you're taking 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. You will question everything that you're dealing and maybe even think you can't do this and you want to go back. (I never once thought that but everyone is different)
It will be hard but don't give up. keep your eye on the prize. Which is living a peaceful life with no one telling you what to do, how to do it, no one putting you down every single minute of every single day and that is priceless.
So today my friends these are my 10 tips for changing your life for the better.
Trust me you will get there, you will become the person that you always was and always knew that you could be. You too, will be living an incredible life, free from drama, abuse and heartache but in order to get there, you must do these 10 steps first.
"Be the change you want to see"
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"
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