#shcut

[toki-is-the-king]

Another horrible Dethklok conversation I made. I have dyslexia and read the word asparagus wrong at work today so enjoy.

Dethklok chilling in the hot tub:

Nathan: guys…I can’t believe I’m saying this but…we have to start fucking eating better…

The rest of Dethklok gasping in shock:

Murderface: why would you shay that!?

Nathan: I mean…It’s just obvious Murderface. Since Charles is working a lot and is being a fucking dick you’ve gotten really really really fat. There’s no other way to say it so uh, there…I’m done, fuck you.

Pickles: yeah…y’know now dat you mention it..I wasn’t gonna say nothin either but yeah he’s right Murderface. You’re really fat dood.

Toki: but nots me thoughs, right? I’ms in greats shape.

Murderface: shcut up, Toki! Geeze. You can’t even be apart of this convershation. Don’t even look at me.

Nathan: ugh look! All I’m saying is if we have a fat bassist the world’s gonna think we’re ALL a bunch of fat fucks.

Murderface: …

Pickles: no, no, Nate’n is right. It’s like fat by association.

Skwisgaar: holys shit! You’s right. No wonders I start feelings like my hands am slowings down lately…deys ams catching de fat froms him.

Murderface: Fine you want me to be healschy I will show you all! I CAN be healschy. What’s that one vegescable named after disabled people?

Dethklok: …

Nathan: You know I uh…I don’t really eat vegetables. Ever. So I don’t know…

Murderface: uh…oh! An Asperger’s. I’ll eat that, like throw scome Asperger’s on the grill with scome bbq chicken and BLAMO! Healschy meal.

Pickles: motherfucker…*long sigh* dood…you mean asparagus. It’s asparagus you fuckin’ clown.

Murderface: oh yeah, that one! Schee, you know it. I’ll eat an Asperger’s anyday as long as it’s cooked with something else good, like a scheak or a whole roasted chicken or scome bullshit.

Toki: wells…I thinks that you gots to puts that Asperger’s with likes some potatoes too, so it’s looks nice! It’s abouts the presentaskon!

Murderface: yeah, yeah! Schome Asperger’s and fried potatoes…for the preshentation of the meal.

Nathan, pickles: …

Nathan: …MY GOD you two are idiots.

Pickles: …I can’t do dis today guys. My head hurts, it hurts so fuckin’ bad. I’m gonna have to take a nap after dis. I just can’t do dis shit.

Skwisgaar: Ja…I ams t’inkings maybe I uh tries to uh…go kills myself because dis ams actually embarrasking…

Murderface: guys, seriously, stop! I’m literally just trying to get in shape here!

Pickles: oh you’re in shape all right…a shape dat is.

Nathan: YEAH, a fat one.

Skwisgaar: dats is true a big shapes of fat.

Murderface and Toki:…

Toki: so cans we haves the disabled vegetables for dinners, YES OR NO’s!?

Pickles: *sighs* y’know without eating any of em, you guys are the closest thing to vegetables I’ve seen all day. How about that. Dildos.

[dad-average]

Stay away from my big brother you- *hic* wicked siren! I have an overly attached familiar problem! *hic*. (Qu'est - ce que j ai encore signé?)

well you’re getting your wish bbecause i did some thinking and maybe it’s bset hi do stay away frlom him. and yes, g’im drunk. shcut up. also go hug your brother fro me. you need iwt more than i do.

[sample-2097]

helo grandmomther pls do not yell and scream repeatedly when youre calling me over for something little it makes me very anxious and it makes me have flashbacks and shit and also the building people are very mean to us and we shouldnt make a lot of noise to upset the neighbors

grandma: shcut the hell fuck up this is my house

[floppyschoice]

other guys will just feed you lies but i'll take you to micki dees

To Feed ME MORE LIES???? I;ll Shcut You/.