#she's also much closer to bucky in terms of chronological age

[randomsevans]

a long , long time

Weekly challenge

@donutloverxo

@captain-rogers-beard 

hasn't been read through so please ignore  the mistakes please 

this is sorta a continued  of  ROSE  , but can be read by its self 

How ? 

How can you do this ? How are you going to keep going ? Why did he do this ? Why leave you ? Why leave his daughter ? why her , why is it always her ? 

you dont know how your going to do this ,you dont know how your gonna cop being a single parent , you dont know how you are going to do it alone ,. More importantly how are you going to get over him ?

How are you ever going to get over Steve Rogers ?

one thing is for sure , you have to for the sake of your daughter . Even though you will never love another , because Steve no matter what will always be your first and only love and that why it hurts so much .But you need to at  least be strong for your daughter , she just lost her father.

Time , time is all you need .

===================================

it was a random Sunday , at a random park where Steve sat , He knows that he has just when back to ever one , but he hasn't showed his face yet.  He looked around the park as the tree rustle against the wind as the odd person or two passes by . At this moment he feels peace .He had lived a beautiful life , with the women he truly loves and he wouldn't change .A life with Peggy , a life in his time was everything Steve wanted and got . 

But for him the last 8 years or so haven't been easy , with old age playing effect on him ,the snap  and the death of his love he was mostly been by himself . leaving him more time to think about them , her , you , his daughter . wonder what it would be like if he stay , how you are , did you meet some one else ? the thought sickens steve your his wife ... wait was his wife and what about his daughter he doesn't want another man raiser her .But what thats what it like now he made his choice and no matter what life he picked , it would always be filled with what ifs / and questions , theory on how he life would of went .

He buried the memory of you and his daughter for so long , Peggy never knew he had a  daughter or a wife . His other children never know that there have a sister who is the same age as their grandchildren . He never thought about you , not untill it came to the years where he knew some place in the world right now , you and his younger self where together , meeting , working , dating , married , a child all together . And now your by your self .

on the days like when he asked you to marry him , got married  he thought about you all day , was so so temper to go and see you and him self , but it was to risky . he remember everything , every detail to your hair , dress , your shocked face when he got on his knee . the small tear that rolled down your cheek where saying your “i dos “ . He would sit there on those days buying a single rose and drawing you. 

even on the day you were born you never left his mind , he find it quiet funny and sad on that day , thinking this is the day his wife was born , but also all the pain that was to come your way , that he couldnt do anyhing about

But htere were days like the 7th of January 2020 were he couldn't just sit there by himself with his thoughts . He made his way to a random hospital in Brooklyn . He sat outside on a bench for hours , people would pass by ask if was okay an odd nurse or too  would come up and ask if he was a patience . unknowingly to them his daughter , his eldest , yet youngest chronologically was being born . He sat there for hours thinking and remembering , the first time he holded her , her first steps , the annoyed look  on your face when her first word was “pa “ , he remember how happy he was , he swears he never smiled so wide so happy , spinning his daughter around promising her the world because she said dad first . He chucked at the memory . He left sortly after not getting a glance at you or his daughter since he could risk seeing his self .

that was roughly three years ago and on that day every year he would celebrate in one why . he would also send her a gift which he knows he should but he couldn't stop him self  .

Now he sits here on this bench, knowing soon he will have to see everyone well at least Bruce and Bucky to tell them not his okay an nothing went wrong . He was so lost in his thoughts he didnt notice the little girl run passed and trip over a rock right in frount of him

the girl had pushed her hands ifrount of her to try and save her self and let out a little cry . Steve got up the fastest her could , he reach of her hand and helped her up , while looking around to see if there was anyone running after her , not yet anyway .

the little girl was now up on her feet , with small sniffles . Her hair was long and blonde covering her face in all different direction . Her little hands trying to push her hair out of her face . Steve kneeled down to help her . 

“ are you ok....”

he stop , his old heart began to beat face , his eyes wide 

“ Sarah ?”

the sight of his daughter broke him , he didnt realise how much he  missed her , his first child , the one he promise to always be around .

“ hmm “ was the onlt thing that came out of her . she glanced up to meet steves eyes . Blue meet blue , the same blue

Hers widen , in shook  , she looked like she was about to cry .

“ h ... how do yo. you know ..my ..n..name “ she coked on every word , taking her time .

Steve was silent  he didn't know what to say , the fact that his daughter that he left behind was right infrount of him. 

her mouth only widen as she brought her tiny hand up towards steve face and pointed at his teary eyes .

“ y.. you ... you stole my daddy's eyes “ her little face scrunched up angerly  

he slighlt chuckled shaking his head “ n..no i didnt blue “

her hand quickly wet to her side at the name 

“wh... onli  daddy cowlds me t..hat “

“ i..  i know “ his tears now fully streaming downs his eyes .

“how?” she asked quickly 

“be..because ..” he truly didnt know what to say

“ your my daddy ?” 

he forget how smart she was , she may only be three but even Tony said shell grew up to be a genius and has the smartest around about an 8 year old the least time there checked 

he nodded his head in relief , the little girl only seem to grow anger as she place her hand on his cheek .

“liar .. my daddy is young .... my daddy will hurt you .... my daddy is c.cap .. amwerica  he .. does good ..and doesn't liek liars “ but then she paused for a moment her eyes grew red and her lip trembled “b...but his a li..liar ... he l...my daddy ..left me “ 

and with that she fell to the ground with aloud sob , and Steve went with her , both crying on the floor

“ h..”

“mm im sorry blue ...but i am your .. daddy ?” he knows he shouldn't but he couldn't help it his little girl right there crying over him , his heart is breaking and dying 

“how could i ever leave her ? “but he did 

“ho.. how ?” you looked up 

he stay silent how do you tell you daughter you left her and her mother to grow old with some one else.

“ how do i know your .. not lying ?”he glared at him . the same expression she shares with you , he let out a small chuckled , his daughter asking all the right question , she she so much like you . 

“ i call .. you blue be..because  we both .. have blue eyes “ a small smile placed on his lips , at the memory of finding the perfect  nickname of his daughter   . 

she just nodded in agreement staring him down . he smile shiftig on his bony knees . 

“ yo.. your first word was pa ... your birthday is 7th of January , you cant go to sleep with out  piggy .. yo..you favoit food is cookie .. double double chocolate chips that antie nat makes .... you love that silly little show that .. “ 

“the song “ she cut him off 

“what ?” he titled his head 

“ if you are really my daddy .. you know the song “ her eyes soften almost coming to terms that he is her father 

he paused for a mintes , cold tears falling from his eyes , every memory , everytime he song her to sleep with the song , the song that was your and his first dance together as husband and wife   

“it ... its” he could trust his own words , his voice he was so emotional he was sure hes old fragil body would give  away .

“ its .. its been a . long .. long time “ he closer his eyes in  a temper to clear his vision as he sung the melody 

“never thought that you would be standing here so close to me ,

theres so much i feel that i should say 

but words can wait untill some other day 

kiss me once the kiss me twist 

then kiss me one again 

its been a long long time 

haven't felt like this my dear 

since cant remember when 

you'll never know how many dreams 

iv dreamed about you 

or just how empty there seem with out you 

so kiss me once then kiss me twist 

then kiss me once again “ 

he paushed on ever word , every line , a thousand memory and emotions , him meaning every word as he looked into the yes of his daughter , that he had missed so much , the same blue eys he shared . The ones that have grown to accept that he is her father , her papa , her daddy .

with both teary eyes ,cold stinging cheeks against the hash wind on he ground of a random park , on a random Sunday , there finish the song together meaning very word , as father and daughter 

“its been a long , long time “