#she's trying!! girl's old and has been to the vet twice since last thursday

[queeniecamps]

Sorry for not being active, dog decided she wants to die this week LOL

[littlehobbits]

Another Frodo Update (omg)

The vet visit went well! Frodo really enjoyed having Shyguy and Goomba to cuddle with during the car ride, I think they made him much less nervous (even though they were kinda frenzied since they’re not as used to car rides lol) and everyone settled in quickly at least. I’m going to put our new plan for Frodo under a read more, because it’s pretty long lol. And I’m about to try some things with Frodo that I’ve never tried before. So there you go, if you’re at all curious~!

TL;DR - we think Frodo has a bad, chronic case of myco, but despite heavy breathing and nasal scarring (and general upper respiratory illness) he is still showing signs of liveliness, happiness, and a strong will to live, so we’re going to try some new meds, lifelong doxy, and an albuterol inhaler to try and manage it as well as keep him comfortable for as long as possible.

So my vet suspects that Frodo kinda just has a pretty bad, chronic case of myco at this point (which one of you guys actually mentioned). Of course this can lead to heart issues, which is what we had suspected at first, but since he’s old and has been going through this for a few months now, we’re kinda in a trial-and-error phase now. He has been on Lasix (diuretic) for about a week or so now, and last Wednesday/Thursday I halved the dosage from .1cc twice per day to .05cc twice per day (as my vet suggested once he began showing improvement). Now, she instructed me to lower it again to .05cc only once per day, and then add in prednisone once per day as well, which I have on hand but hadn’t given him yet. I’m hoping that the small dose of prednisone will open up his airways a bit and help him to breathe easier (or at least I’ve read it having a similar purpose in other cases). I didn’t want to give him too much since it is a steroid and he might have a heart issue, but she said the small amount to try out wouldn’t hurt him, but we want to see if it helps.

In addition to this, I will be getting more doxycycline soon and he will be on that for the rest of his life. I’m actually happy about this because I have heard of doxy being used for old rats to “maintain” respiratory issues, and they stay on it for the rest of their lives as well. He’s about to finish his enrofloxacin, which he was on with the doxy before (ran out of doxy first somehow) but we won’t be putting him back on that unless it is needed in the future, mainly because it’s harsher than doxy and could take a toll on him if used indefinitely. 

She is also giving me an inhaler for albuterol, which I will be able to give him a puff of if he shows any signs of distress, or even just heavy breathing, which he has been doing a lot lately. I’m actually pretty intrigued by this, I know other rat owners who have used inhalers for respiratory illnesses, so it will be interesting to try. I don’t think he is going to like me shoving it in his face lol but it will hopefully help him, or at least temporarily make him comfortable!

Lastly, she’s going to try another antibiotic that I can’t think of the name of. It starts with a ‘T’, though. I can update once I get that, but she has to make a special order for it through some supplier, and get it to me within the next week. I can’t remember what she said it was for, but she did some research and told me it was safe to try and it’s something I’ve never tried for any of my boys yet, but I’ll take what I can get tbh.

I know this sounds like a LOT. And it IS. Lol. But my vet and I have been discussing things a lot about Frodo, and although he is old (2yrs. 1mo. now!) he is showing signs of so much life, happiness, and a very strong will to live. Hell, last week when I cried on my way to the vet when he was having trouble, thinking I was going to have to put him down (I’m traumatized from my other boys) my vet literally said “NO. We’re going to try something else. He’s not ready to go.” And since my other boys kind of went off of the deep end very fast, and very traumatically, it’s kind of amazing to me that Frodo is such a warrior and fighter through this. I don’t want to jinx myself, because you never know what will happen and he is an old man. But I’m very eager to try these new things, at LEAST to make him comfortable in his old age until the time comes. Whether that’s a week, a month, or another year, that’s something I’m willing to try.

SORRY FOR THE RAMBLING POST LOL. Idk if anyone even reads these things, but posting all of this shit here also helps me keep track of everything, and helps me remember as well lol! If anyone else has ever dealt with bad cases of myco/chronic myco, I’d love to hear your experiences.

PS - I met another rattie owner at the vet as well! She had a beautiful, 2 year old silvermane girl who was so well behaved just chilling in her arms lol. My boys are always brought to the vet in a carrier because they’re crazy lol, so I envied her ability to just chill with her rat on her shoulder in public!!

[diealittleeachday]

Obviously. Wow. I know.

Wow. I’ve been so patient for weeks. This last week and half has been so exhausting. Not only have I had the stress that my side relationship roller coaster has been, but the summer of S seems like 500 days long.

Let’s look at just last week and this week because the week before he probably saw her four days (or was that the week before)...doesn’t matter, I’ve almost survived it and I’m so done. So over it and him and them. Obviously.

Monday - they got a motel for hours. Apparently the wonders of her body never cease. His enthusiasm for her knows no bounds so he got so riled up that he had to “beat her with his penis” which resulted in an injury lasting 1.5 weeks and counting to date, with no end in sight. Of course he didn’t notice any such pain until he came home to me. We had a bit of sex since he didn’t get off with her. When he came in me, he realized the pain he was in. I know.

Tuesday they meet at a distant mall and spend three hours “just talking”. I’m sure it was a completely vanilla date (yeah right). He knew his dick was broken but didn’t have to mention it since they never took their date to a motel (or even the van...for once). She was supposed to start her period so I figured that would cover a few days. Obviously

Wednesday he heads out the door late in the afternoon so he can meet her at a local (newish) creperier I’ve wanted to visit (but since he wouldn’t want to eat a bread based food, I’ve not asked to go). He tells me he won’t be doing anything (even making out)because it’s too painful even if he were to get a hard on and also we assume she’s on her period. He asks if I’m okay with this. Sure I say, go have a late lunch with her and no sexual stuff like yesterday, the third day in a row this week that they’ve had a date! He messages me 1.5-2 hrs later saying he’s at the grocery store. I find out that they never did the crepe place “because she wanted to make out”. So they were in the van and he played with and ate her pussy. She sent a picture of him putting her shoe back on in the van. Despite the fact that i don’t want details (except to know if something new happens plus the basics of who what where), because it’s like a knife stabbing. But every time i ask one specific question, he can’t just answer the question, he can’t help but describe something he did to her or how amazing she is. Wow

Thursday he was supposed to have a date with GF but she cancelled last minute. Friday I had brunch with her. Despite having to hear from him how much he he’s gotta have her while not even paying attention to me, I’m still offering her friendship and loads of time. She’s so high maintenance and she’s taking from both of us. I know.

During this time we can’t have sex. He announced that he won’t even be kissing me in case it’s a disease instead of an injury that has side lined him. And he plays with me using a toy once. He mentions only once that he wants his wife after days of nothing and it’s not mentioned again even days later. No oral to make up for it, not apology for leaving me high and dry, no sorry I find her so thrilling I can’t help myself. Just constant reminders of how much better and more worthy she is than me. Obviously

Monday starts off again early as they meet at the zoo for a date. He makes these plans with her Sunday night and even buys the tickets online in advance. They spend the day at the zoo and then lunch at “their favorite spot”. I sit at home alone dealing with my break up and the fact that my husband has spent more hours this month dating and fucking her than he’s done with me all year. He’s there for her. I’m left to fend for myself in every way. Same with his kids. Even his asshole parents get an allowance form him (courtesy of me, against my will). Crazy isn’t it? I know

Monday afternoon he brings me food as I’m high and upset about dumping my bf. I ask him repeatedly if we can make out and have some sort of fun and reconnect. I tell what I want and remind him repeatedly not to come to bed too late. I tell him I’m just watching old episodes of the crown to pass time and to please come see me before he’s too tired. When he finally comes to bed hours later he just lays there. I remind him that I’m just waiting on him. Before we get into that though I’m not sure do the messages i sent him about my bf may be weighing on his mind a i want to be sure to clear the air before getting intimate. Obviously

I think that I should address the messages I showed him between my bf and I while he was off with her at the zoo. I want to clear the air and not leave anything hanging between us that may be bothering him. We go through the messages in detail with me asking if he has any comments or questions. Then I mention that my vagina still feels weird and I ask him to once again put his fingers in it and look at it to see if it looks and feels as it usually does and has it improved at all. He says he doesn’t know what it usually looks like and he starts comparing the feel of it to S instead of it to itself. He seems to know more about S vagina than mine and cannot figure out how to tell if mine is normal for itself. He cannot understand why this would be upsetting. He doesn’t know what his own sides vagina looks or feels like but he knows her enough to compare. Wow

We end up in a tiff and I’m angry that we don’t do more than a few kisses and have barely done anything intimate in a week but he doesn’t miss it or care. He never even tried. I say I’ll bet you kissed her today more than you kissed me. He agreed. He always shows more passion and enthusiasm for her. He is always eager to give her anything she wants. And dismisses and rejects me. Same thing different day. I know

Tuesday comes and gf is coming over so our plans are not what we thought. Later I realize that he talked to S all day, with short interruptions in the conversation to have breakfast, see gf when she arrived, deal with the vet, see gf before she left, and walk with me. Other than that, he was talking to her from morning until night. (Again. Yay!)The old days all over again. Wow

That night, On our walk, I’m missing intimacy with my husband and want to find out if his penis is getting any better since the last time see discussed it a few days ago. I ask when was the last time he got a hard on. His immediate answer was “obviously when I was last with S”. Obviously.

Not last night when the two of us were naked in bed and I was waiting all day (all week) to reconnect with my husband. Obviously not last night while he had his fingers in my pussy. Obviously not when he gave me a few kisses. Obviously it was while he took her to the zoo and they walked around kissing and ass grabbing all day...him with a broken penis that hurts everytime it gets hard and her fully clothed on a hot day at zoo while on her period. Obviously.

He and I were just wrapping up a few hours of walking in beautiful surroundings. He’d stopped once or twice to give me a nice kiss. But that did nothing. Meant even less. I asked why we didn’t do anything the night before and he blamed me. Blamed me for “being a blob and being high”. Obviously it’s my fault. I’m not good enough. And I was high that one day because I was sad about the bf experience. I stayed home alone for hours dealing with it alone while he has spent hours and days for weeks comforting and uplifting her. He brought me junk food and then berates me for eating it and calls me names and blames me for his lack of interest. Meanwhile, she is perfect, can do no wrong and should not put up with being ignored by her husband. Hypocrite much? I know

Later that evening, after a phone call with the horrible ex bf that never ends, I’m cuddling with him and sad. And kinda mad that what I thought was settled could be stirred up again only long enough to bring me fresh pain. He tries to console me and calls me Baby Girl. Wow

There’s 100 nicknames for me but that’s not one. Not even close. That’s what he calls HER. S. That’s her name. Not mine. Obviously

I leave the bed and sob uncontrollably. Alone. And for the 100th time am reminded of her by him. I ask for him to check MY vagina and it’s compared to hers. I ask when he was last interested in sex and I’m told “Obviously” when he was last with her. I go to him for comfort and and am called HER pet name.

He told me last week he wouldn’t be doing anything sexual and would be meeting her at a cafe. None of that was true. He couldn’t spend an hour with her without eating her pussy. (And in a week and half since he broke his penis on HER, he hasn’t eaten my pussy once). Wow

He can’t walk the zoo with her without getting a hard on but he can not only walk a beautiful moonlit night with me without doing so, but he can lay naked in our bed with his fingers in my pussy and bare breasts in his face without any thoughts of sex despite promising me same. I know

He can tell me he’s not going kiss but spend the days kissing her (and repeatedly refer to stealing kisses from her all week while avoiding them with me). And give me a few but not much passion or any desire. Wow

He can take her to the museum, restaurants, the zoo, a food court, the mini van to make out, and plan another museum trip (while trying to plan something bigger that she’d like) all while telling me we eat out too much, he doesn’t want to spend the $$ and only doing walks with me even though I’ve repeatedly mentioned that I’d like to have dates with him. I know

I’d love to say that once the summer is over (after this week), he’ll make out with me, take me to dates beyond walking and find me half as inspiring as apparently she’s been since the first hour they met. But that’s asking way too much. He’ll just go back to texting her every chance he gets and killing as much time as possible in between looking at cars and other videos online, saying he doesn’t know what to get me or where to take me and or know anything I’d like to do, when he knows it all about her because he pays attention and is motivated to make her happy while he takes me for granted. Obviously

I thought there was some hope. As long as some other guy thought I was interesting enough, he acted like he’d pay attention. But that’s just another in a long line of stupid naive dreams I’ve had. He’ll go back to complaining that it’s my fault because I no longer want to continue years of worshipping him in hopes that he’ll fuck me for four minutes and cum inside me before he falls asleep snoring while I’m left to drag off to a dark corner somewhere, wand in hand, and create my own orgasm. I know

I’ve eagerly talked to him about things I want to try, stuff I want to do with him, and it just never changes. Enthusiasm for her is endless. Me. I’m a blob (got that way because of my unhappy marriage) and high all the time (except for most of the time when I’m not). Soon he’ll be right where he dreaded, just me to fuck “and it’ll suck”. Apparently all the weight that she’s put on from being ignored by her hubby is just fine. My husband feeds her, brings her snacks, even wanted to take her to a dessert place. He feels for her and all that she’s put up with her hubby over the past 8 years after treating me worse for 36! Wow

And don’t get me started about how encouraging he is to her versus me or his own god damned children. His empathy for her knows no ends but the people under his roof just need to get it together. Who is it that he cares about most? Who is it that he’s willing to drive hours for? Spend $$ on while berating his son for wanting healthy organic foods? Bring her out and leave his wife and kids at home? Obviously

Wow. Just wow. It blooms where it is cared for and encouraged. And that’s not in this zip code.

Obviously. Wow. I know.