#slash silly slash half joking i won't for now. i think i wanna let it settle in a bit first | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dragonwysper · 2 months ago

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Today my therapist told me she thinks I have ASPD, just in a really atypical way. Like I am super hyper aware of both myself and what I'm feeling, and other people and what they're feeling, and I react accordingly. So like I have cognitive empathy and I'm also good at catching and analyzing impulsive thoughts/behaviour in myself. Which makes it so I don't externally present typical ASPD symptoms. But I still have like the lack of respect for rules/authority, and absence of emotional empathy, and inability to connect with people, and like a general malaise for people as a whole, and alllll the other bits that are characteristic for ASPD. So like ???

Idk. I've known Something beyond just autism and generic trauma responses was going on for a long time now, and I've been suspecting a cluster B of some kind for about a year. It's just. Relieving? To finally have someone be like "yeah you probably have ASPD". Because like now I have a name for all these symptoms and experiences I feel, that makes sense and legitimizes all of it.

#my therapist also told me that i have the most unique combination of personality traits/symptoms she has ever seen #she said she'd be really curious about what i'd score on the mmpi lmao #i think that's therapist speak for “i want to study you under a microscope”#slash silly ofc but honestly i'd be curious too #i wanna know what it'd indicate about me #anywayyy time to process this new vision of myself as someone with medically recognized aspd #aspd #antisocial pd #antisocial personality disorder #am i allowed to use the actually antisocial tag now #slash silly slash half joking i won't for now. i think i wanna let it settle in a bit first #tag rambles

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