#slept like shit and im still scared abt the test resluts. im supposed to call my dr's office next week for the results
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i can start T today 🥳
#not fandom related#personal log stardate#i got the gel at the pharmacy after my dr appointment today#slept like shit and im still scared abt the test resluts. im supposed to call my dr's office next week for the results#if they're positive ill v likely need surgery for a tumor. as far as i could tell from google :c#it's a benign tumor btw as far as i know. the surgery should be endoscopic as well so it honestly could be way worse#still.#if ill need surgery ill ask my dr if i can wait until ive been on T for a while and get top surgery before going in for any other surgery#i rly dont want to be in the hospital as a woman 😵💫#but it gives me that little push that i needed to actually get surgery. sure ive always wanted it but taking all the steps to get it#is v hard and ive been avoiding it. but yesterday i thought what if i accidentally end up in a hospital#and ill be seen as a woman and ill be insanely uncomfortable in hospital gowns and it all will be v horrible indeed#so better start the transitioning steps that i want to take sooner than later#fear is a good motivator. helped me recover from my ed as well. that counselor at my old university was like#your ed behavior and sh behavior are getting too bad id recommend you go inpatient and i was like. impatient? 😳#no way i was gonna do that so i decided to start fighting my ed and recover. which took several years but it was so worth it#anyway back to the good stuff! i can start T today!!!!!!! 😁#trans stuff#ed cw#sh cw
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