#smth about being a girl & a woman who's trying to figure out what her purpose is etc

[ladyimaginarium]

what was i made for?

gangsta. — kohske. / what was i made for? — billie eilish.

[bausbitch]

I'm sorry

Reid x reader

ANGST AHAHA

Req but @blankets-for-bees

Warnings: kidnapping, established relationship, gunshot, Spencer being an ass at first, also this IS NOT really funny as my other works //read: I'll try because I'm just such a naturally good comedian,,,or a mental asylum escapee,,// 🤩 OH and a happy ending

Spencer had been,,,,

Awfully cold to you

For the last 6 months

Yeah, it was beginning to get on your nerves

It felt like living with a whole ghost 👻

And it wasn't like it was his work

You two had the same job for fucks sake

You even shared a home

But lately

Spencer would ONLY talk to you at work

And only when it was life or death

So basically when hotch paired you two up

And omg

The team

They had no idea

So they insisted you two sleep in the same room on this case

Bc you two are their fav couple!!!!!

But they didn't know that for the last six months

You were practically single

Except you couldn't go anywhere

And you wouldn't go out to flirt with people

Because you were a good s/o

*cough* unlike Spencer *cough*

Ok so this usub

The universe said

Fuck you, yn yln 🤩🤪🤡

This particular unsub

Kidnapped failing couples

And threw them in a house

A giant doll house

And sedated them

And played with them like dolls

And made them kiss and stuff

Like

Idk how to explain it

Like when you were little

And you didn't know you really LIKED liked girls

But you were always making your Frankie and ghoulia monster high dolls kiss in the first grade????

Or like

I think it's like ep 12 season 5

My best friend and I watched that one

Sigh

I miss her

Anyways

When you finally moved rooms

You walked in

And it felt like the weight of the world was lifted

Off of your shoulders

Don't worry the world is still pretty heavy

Issok though the world doesn't have to be a skinny legend

WAIT

This is supposed to be an angst

Ok

AHEM

Angsty angst angst

So you were like

Hell yeah

I'm gonna go chill in the jacuzzi

Then I'm gonna come back

And I'm gonna have a level head

Key words: come back

See, I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man

Okokok

So you were vibing in the jacuzzi

Then you saw Spencer

And

Gasp!

A woman that didn't look like any of the girls on the team was going into his room!!

You knew

You were being irrational

But you were like

Son of a bitch >:(

Alexa play jealousy by Monsta x

Anny. W. Ays

You went into the room

Or at least you knocked

And gasp

She answered

Ok

She seemed,,,

Suspicious

Probably bc she's the unsub yn you dumb bitch

And you were like

"Hey is Spencer in there?"

Like you WEREN'T his h*cking gf

And she straight up

PUNCHES YOU

Ok more like

Knocks you out with a blow to the face

And draws you inside

Ok now Spencers pov bc you're getting too much attention and he needs an explanation for making me play jealousy

Spencer

Oh god that I don't believe in how do I explain him

He was having a tough time

Ok wbk he's smart as hell

But when I comes to people who are FINE

Such as yourself

He gets a lil

*Patrick star from Spongebob noises*

So

Even if you guys had literally been dating for like

Five? Six? Years

He was starting to get scared

Bc

Ok so you guys had said the L world

You said it all the time

But

Spencer

He

He wanted to propose to you

Like

On one knee

Ring and everything

But he was scared

He was really really scared

Bc he wouldn't know what to do if you said no

Which

Why would you

You two were practically already married

You literally had a drunken, unofficial ceremony at Rossi's place one time

But he felt like

You wouldn't be ready

So he was like

Ok gotta set up a back up plan

If they reject me

And I have to go to work and see them

How do I not see them

How do I live without them?

Ah

I ignore them

😌

Plan: set

Spencer : fucking idiot

SO HE

He acted like you weren't there

And he eventually thought you were mad at him

Bc you weren't reaching out any more

Dumb bitch they think YOU'RE mad at them

Okokokok

Back to kidnapping

When he woke up

He was,,,,

*drum roll*

In a house?

A really nice house

Or at least the bedroom was nice

Or the roof of it

And what he could see from his peripheral vision

He could see you though

He could feel you

You were laying on his chest

Your arms around him

And he could tell you were still asleep

His serotonin levels went up higher than they had in months

Over the last six months he hadn't said a word

And he'd let you sleep on the couch

Smh and I thought he was a genius

But he missed you

But he had to make sure he was ready

To be honest

He probably knew what he was doing was irrational and the definition of idiotic

He also knew that by doing this he was maximising his chances of you not wanting to marry him

But he just

"Y'all hear smth?" -Spencer Reid, about his problems

Annie Oakley

Anyways

While he was too busy making heart eyes at your sleeping figure

Ya boy forgot to check if he could move

Turns out,,,,

He couldn't

Bc,,,,

*puts hands together like cat in the hat does*

This unsub, like I said before

SEDATED YOU TWO

So he waited

Until

The woman he unwillingly let into his hotel room, all by the service of a gun and a threat to his life 😄

Came and did whatever the fuck she was gonna do

Play with you guys more than my 6th grade crush played with my heart

And she did😋🥳🤩!!!!

But don't fret

She wasn't gonna hurt you

You had actually concluded the deaths were accidental

Just like me

Okoko so

She was strong

Like really fucking strong

Because she hauled both you and Spence

Into a little dining room

And served and fed you breakfast

You were connected to iv tubes

But still

But everything

The creepiest detail

According to me at least 💁✨

Was how all the food and everything

Were wood

Like

Toys for kids

Or something karuna satori would use in an asmr video

-

You woke up in the middle of,,,

Watching a movie on the couch with Spencer????

It was still daytime

Or so you thought

Bc the unsub pulled up

WITH A GUN

You don't have many things in life rn, but here's a list if things you do have, to cheer you up 😋

A lovely hole in your arm! V v useful for holding very small, thin, cups!!!

A v sad Spencer Reid! Comes with his own tears and despair!!! How fun!

And last but not least!

A wonderful speech from our sponsor!! //read: the unsub//

"Why must everything bad always happen to me! You two are very bad dolls! No one is a good doll, you're all useless and now I have to kill you >:("

Lmfao why does she sound like my bratty baby cousin

Anyways

"The FBI is at the door! Which one of you called them? You whore! It was probably you!"

First of all,,, how dare she

You didn't even THINK about other men in the 6 months your boyFRIEND ghosted you

So

Jokes on her

Second of all

You were bleeding out and Spencer was wiggling behind you

Probably a victory dance smh 😤

But then

GASP!!!

she went upstairs 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

And you heard voices

Morgan!!! Hotch!!! *insert police's name*!!

Then you passed out bc

💥bloodloss💥

And when you woke up

Spencer was fine

Physically

But he was hunched over

"Yn I'm so sorry. I love you so much and I was so scared I'd lose you if I proposed too early, and now I'm probably going to lose you without even saying a word. Honey I love you, I love you so much-"

And you were like

Hold up

LET GO OF MY HAND MF YOU MAY BE SKINNY BUT YOUR STRONG WTF

Then

"Did you say purpose?"

And he was like

"Yes(?) "

And you kissed him for the first time in sixth months

"Yes I'll marry, now let go of my hand"