#so he wouldn't be able to be the kind of support griffin needs

[vickyvicarious]

“I made a mistake, Kemp, a huge mistake, in carrying this thing through alone. I have wasted strength, time, opportunities. Alone—it is wonderful how little a man can do alone! To rob a little, to hurt a little, and there is the end. “What I want, Kemp, is a goal-keeper, a helper, and a hiding-place, an arrangement whereby I can sleep and eat and rest in peace, and unsuspected. I must have a confederate. With a confederate, with food and rest—a thousand things are possible. “Hitherto I have gone on vague lines. We have to consider all that invisibility means, all that it does not mean. It means little advantage for eavesdropping and so forth—one makes sounds. It’s of little help—a little help perhaps—in housebreaking and so forth. Once you’ve caught me you could easily imprison me. But on the other hand I am hard to catch. This invisibility, in fact, is only good in two cases: It’s useful in getting away, it’s useful in approaching. It’s particularly useful, therefore, in killing. I can walk round a man, whatever weapon he has, choose my point, strike as I like. Dodge as I like. Escape as I like.” Kemp’s hand went to his moustache. Was that a movement downstairs? “And it is killing we must do, Kemp.” “It is killing we must do,” repeated Kemp. “I’m listening to your plan, Griffin, but I’m not agreeing, mind. Why killing?” “Not wanton killing, but a judicious slaying. The point is, they know there is an Invisible Man—as well as we know there is an Invisible Man. And that Invisible Man, Kemp, must now establish a Reign of Terror. Yes; no doubt it’s startling. But I mean it. A Reign of Terror. He must take some town like your Burdock and terrify and dominate it. He must issue his orders. He can do that in a thousand ways—scraps of paper thrust under doors would suffice. And all who disobey his orders he must kill, and kill all who would defend them.”

There's so much going on in this conversation. First, the obvious irony of Griffin telling Kemp how he understands now that he needs a helper he can trust, while Kemp is trying to ensure he gets caught in the next few minutes. Griffin saying that he will be easily imprisoned once caught but that he's hard to catch, as Kemp frets over whether they will be able to catch him now. That's pretty obvious, and both funny and also sad. It's perfectly understandable for Kemp to want Griffin to be caught even before he talks about this plan, but it sucks that Griffin's sincerity is just completely bouncing off him. Griffin is for the first time trying to make a connection with someone (something that could potentially turn this situation around) but he's been rejected from the start.

But there's also... what is Griffin talking about? This goes from 'yeah, Griffin, you shouldn't be going it alone' to 'no Griffin not like that holy shit' real damn fast. And it's really interesting in the context of the rest of his behavior, because... this really doesn't seem to match it throughout most of the book so far.

Griffin has used plenty of violence before now. He defaults to threats or physical harm when he feels too vulnerable or powerless. But while he's been reckless and careless with it, there has never really been premeditated malice to anything he does. He's not scheming evil upon others. He's mostly reacting, again, often in what seems a kind of panic. When he gets most violent, at least. He has done harmful things with forethought, but those are mostly limited to theft, and are informed by selfishness and a lack of consideration/awareness of potential consequences.

He also has been consistently motivated by curing his invisibility. He wants his resources back, and privacy/freedom to work in order to do just that. He very quickly decided making himself invisible was a shortsighted mistake, as he encountered drawback after drawback in the immediate aftermath. He also wasn't motivated by any particular single goal of seizing power when he made himself invisible. He was deeply depressed and clinging to 'seeing it through', and then panicked when he came into conflict with his landlord. His paranoia about his invention was intense, but that too is linked to him seeking control over his own life, not others' as such.

So then, why this turnaround? Well, last chapter he said this:

"I had one hope. It was a half idea! I have it still. It is a full blown idea now. A way of getting back! Of restoring what I have done. When I choose. When I have done all I mean to do invisibly."

So, now it seems Griffin's motivation has shifted. He no longer wants immediate relief from invisibility. Instead, he wants to do things while invisible first. He wants to establish a Reign of Terror, to take over a town by utilizing his invisibility in the only way he can see it being of practical use: murder and the spreading of fear. But he says that as a 'must' as 'judicious'. So it's still not for the pleasure of it. Then, why?

First, I frankly don't believe Griffin is actually capable of enforcing the kind of siege he describes here. Physically maybe (depending on how unprepared others are), but emotionally I don't think he could keep it up. He'd collapse, he'd succumb to the guilt he clearly does feel at times. When he's not in a constant state of high emotion (largely fear, which with Griffin transitions seamlessly into rage) he wouldn't be able to keep murdering people so coldly and logically. He can of course work himself up over time, and can hold a grudge, which might be enough to get him started enacting this plan, but I don't believe he could see it through all the way. Still enough to do monstrous things, of course, just not enough to be effective at establishing his goal. (And even that shows his typical lack of forethought. Does he think that no one else would help them? That this town would just succumb to him in total isolation?)

But why does he even want it? I think it actually reflects all his same motivations until now. He feels cornered and he reacts badly, lashing out at others. As the rejection builds all around him, as his options dwindle, as his fear and helplessness grow - he consistently reacts by escalating and proving everyone's worst assumptions about him correct. And right now, even though he has found Kemp and thinks he can mostly trust him, it's not enough to make him feel safe. There are lots of people actively hunting him, now. And he can't just stay in Kemp's rooms forever. He would hate the idea, would feel imprisoned. He doesn't think much of stealing from others, but absolutely hates being stolen from (and he has so little, that the loss feels correspondingly huger), especially something like his books which contain the key to freeing him. So being here is a brief reprieve but he's still deeply afraid. And that makes him deeply angry. And so he wants revenge, he wants to punish them (in general, who make him feel afraid - and Marvel in particular, who has 'betrayed' him).

He also quite likely knows even with his idea it will take an unknown but likely significant amount more time to perfect his cure. So even if all he wanted was to be cured, he would need a safe place to work until then. And the tension is so high right now, his fear of being betrayed is so strong, that I don't think he believes it would be possible to do the necessary work unless he has the town cowed under his invisible heel.

“I don’t agree to this, Griffin,” he said. “Understand me, I don’t agree to this. Why dream of playing a game against the race? How can you hope to gain happiness? Don’t be a lone wolf. Publish your results; take the world—take the nation at least—into your confidence. Think what you might do with a million helpers—”

This line is also key. Kemp urges Griffin to confide in others. All his considerations of the usefulness of invisibility were from the perspective of a lone man against a cruel world. Very selfish and very assuming of a hostile environment. This too is reflected in Griffin's treatment of the few people he has reached out to - Marvel and Kemp. In both cases, he seeks understanding and sympathy. But he also seeks it at metaphorical gunpoint, by threatening them with what he could invisibly do to harm them. It's because as much as he may pour out his heart to Kemp here, he doesn't fully trust him. He doesn't fully trust anyone. By collaborating with them, all he is doing is giving them power over him, and that means they have power to hurt him. So instead he clings to his own power to hurt them first.

In Griffin's eyes, there is no such thing as an equal relationship. There is such thing as trust rewarded, or even given freely. And so in order to ensure his own safety he has to be the one in charge. He has to convince Kemp that they will both reap great rewards, he has to be able to hurt him and get away should anything fall through.

It all ties in perfectly with his backstory of being an outsider (albino, not socially adept at all), and being poor (in many ways powerless). And of course, it is such a self-fulfilling prophecy of terrible outcomes. If you only give violence, you're only getting violence in return. Someone has to let their guard down first, someone has to be willing to trust and be vulnerable for things to ever change. But Griffin is convinced that would be a mistake to ever fully do. And as much as I want to tell him he's wrong, his experiences corroborate that view. Everywhere he goes, he's experienced rejection and hate, or nosiness and distrust at best, no matter how much he tries to be on his best behavior. Every time he even partially lets down his guard or reaches out to others, they turn on him. And of course so much of that is because of the way he never fully relaxes, the way he always keeps a threat hanging over their heads, but he's not gonna see that. All he's gonna see is that he's been right all along. That he truly is in this alone. That he has to be selfish and he has to hit first and hit harder because he is outnumbered and if they catch him he won't be able to get away.

[proxyartsblog]

Fallout Equestria ( Country Roads)

By proxyart.

{The introduction}

(68 years after the mega spells)

(A group of Caravan ponies and a group of Talons sit around a campfire in the forest of  West Virgineigh in the shadow the the stable 76 ruins .  It's cold out and the two groups sit making small talk and trading stories. After a while a pony started to notice a odd member of the talon group)

A shy young blue unicorn spoke up , she had a soft timid voice. "um m..mr Griffin... how ... uh no um why is... your back legs different from the other Griffins?" Her ears dropped as he looked Over at her.

"I'm a hippogriff" said the smooth looking avian, he was quite pretty, with his lovely golden feathers and creamy tan coat , he spoke with a unique accent, something from the old world the blue unicorn thought.

"F..forgive me but a what?" She said with a puzzled shakey voice.

(He smiled and sat up.)

"A hippogriff my dear filly" the smooth voice said, he spoke like a pony, " you don't know do you? " he asked.

(The blue unicorn shook her head.)

" no sorry I'm not aware of Griffins or anything to do with the talons " she blushes brightly noticing them stare.

(The hippogriff's beak gives a friendly smile as he steps into the fire light.)

"My name is Apple Gin, and I am not a normal creature, no matter how you look at it, I'm the descend of a earth pony who throw out all odds service the mega spells and fell in love with a Griffin , from her and their love my mother was born , my mother was a miracle my grandfather said, a foal that shouldn't exist but somehow did."

(Apple Gin saw the curiosity growing in the eyes of the young filly.)

"You want to know more don't you? " he asked with a croaked smile.

(The blue unicorn nodded happily, no longer the shy blue filly she was , this girl got closer to hear every word he spoke. )

"Please tell me what happened?!" The filly gidded as she clopped her hoofs excitedly.

Apple Gin sighed and sat back on his haunches. " so you want to know the story of my ancestor the the legendary stable 76? "  he asked.

She smiled sweetly and nodded " yes!" She paused for a moment  "I mean yes please mr. Gin sir"

Apple Gin gave her a odd look and sighed happily, " Gin is fine... so where to start this story? ... it's a long one to tell "

(The blue pony thought for a moment then with a smile.)

"I got all night... better then dealing with them swamp crawlers or mega beasts... right Gin ?"

(Apple Gin smiled )

"Yes ma'am " he started to tell his grandmother's story.

"To tell this tale we must start off 25 years after the war... 25 years after the mega spells dropped and all of equestria was plunged Into Darkness".

(War ... war never changes.... )

[End holotape prologue. ]

☆◇♧♡♤☆◇♧♡♤☆◇♡♧♤☆

[Chapter one] country roads.

[Memory orb holotape begin]

(A song started to play over the PA system of the stable, followed by a older mare's voice)

(A inebriated orange and creamy caramel colored earth pony falls out of her bed woken by the loudly playing music and that mare's voice, she looked around her stable room and realized it was very quiet, too quiet, there was a huge party just yesterday, and today was her 25th birthday, the day she was also supposed to leave the stable as well.)

"Shit... ouch my head, I swear one day I'll stop drinking " she always said it but she never has, after all she owed her cutie mark to alcohol, all the members of her father's family did, it was a family tradition and Apple whiskey wasn't going to be the pony to end a family tradition!

(She looked at goodmorning stable-tec window with its happy  little birds and smiling sun, the stable colt smiled back at her reminding her she was late. )

"Good morning stable 76, this is the Overmare , I hope you all enjoyed the party last night, even those who might have over overindulged and overslept. But it's time to get up and get out there, we've been locked away long enough."

(She listened to the Overmare speech as she brushed her teeth and combed her mane, it didn't do anything to help, her mane and tail was a knotted mess of curls and knots, she had tried to keep her hair nice but since mother died Whiskey had a hard time with managing it.)

"Stupid mane... ouch! How am I supposed to brush this mess if I'm not a unicorn!?" She yelled frustrated by her lack of magic or her mothers hair dresser bot.

(Her mother was a robotics engineer, the best in equestria or so others told her. The stable was full of the best and brightest members of equestria and many of the ponies onces worked for stable-tec or rob-co, some were doctors and musicians, others were bankers, scientist, farmers, painters, chefs and more, if they were the best they were in 76!, and the offspring, the children of the generation of genius ponies? Why they were told daily that they were going to save equestria... and the world, that day was today... and Apple wasn't running to the stable door like the others had.)

(A robot brought Apple whiskey her pipbuck, it had a big 76 Pip‑buck 2000 in blue and silver numbers on it with the ugly brown and tan pipbuck casing , Apple placed it on her fetlock and began to adjust to it's weight, Apple thought her pipbuck was very ugly and useless, all she ever used it for was the radio and keeping track of other ponies. )

"Stupid heavy thing..." said Apple.

"Oh miss Apple I thought you'd never wake up" said the floating mr. Handy.

(The over mare's voice pulsed for a moment or two then continued )

"Today is Reclamation day, I kn..."( the voice was drowned out for a bit.)

"What? Why? " Apple whiskey asked.

"Why its Reclamation day don't you remember? Most of the stable is already gone ." Said the robot.

"All ready gone?! But its only..." Apple looked at the time. " Half past noon! How could you let me over sleep so long!?" She started to ran to get her stuff packed .

( the Overmare's voice started again)

"It maybe time to leave but I'll always remember the day you all entered stable 76, you come from everywhere walk of life, every pony race, color and creed, but you all share one very important trait, you are equestrias best and brightest but more importantly you will always be my family."

(The broadcast ended)

"Wow Overmare ... I wonder if the old mare is still here? ... would make sense that the Overmare would be last to leave right?" Apple got all the things she wanted to take with her.

(Apple whiskey packed a large saddlebag with 5 bottles of purified water, 3 stem packs, 2 boxes of big-mac and cheese, 1 picture of her parents, a hoof pistol and a hoof full of bullets,  2 Med-X , 2 healing potions, 1 sparkle cola cherry and 4 bottles of her famous Apple whiskey and the recipe so no one else could make it .)

"Miss Apple you mustn't forget about you're camp " said the Mr handy.

"My camp? What is that? ... you mean my still bot? " Apple asked.

(The Mr. handy looked insulted by her calling that metal pot a robot)

"No miss apple not that busted excuse for bolts.... the camp unit is you're home away from home miss... " he handed her the rather small box .

"This is a camp?" She looked complex.

"You need a home base out there. The Construction and Assembly Mobile Platform is designed to give you one." Said the handy.

"So this will help me serve? Good to know... uh ok " Apple took the camp and stored it in her saddlebags.

"Wow it fits a lot... one day I'll learn how it carries all my junk..." she was impressed by the bags, she thought it had to be part of the stable-tec spell Matrix.

(Apple strapped the saddlebags to her back and holstered her pistol. )

"Ok looks like that's everything Handy...what will you do onces I'm gone?" She asked.

(The mr. Handy hovered around and brought her a tiny mr. handy statuette.)

"Miss Apple please take care of yourself... I'll be here , I must lock up the stable and once I do life support will be turned off... no living creature will be able to close the stable door." The handy said .

( Apple looked sad but she understood she would never seen the first friend she had again, tears fell down her pale caramel coat.)

"Good bye old friend " Apple gave the bot a quick nuzzle and a kind smile.

(Apple set out her room and into the corredores of the stable, the gray drury walls of the stable gave her a bit of comfort, she was very nervous about leaving, if it was up to Apple whiskey she would have stayed there until she died un old mare with many grand foals running through the many hall's. )

(As Apple walked past the Overmare's office she popped her head in to say goodbye however the office was completely empty of life.)

"Overmare!... eh? ... nuna?... " Apple walked around her desk and sat in the big chair, it smelled so nice , the smell of foal hood memories.

(The Overmare loved to let the foals play in her office while their parents worked their various jobs in the stable. Her happiness memories were learning how to be a Overmare from the only grandmother she would ever know. )

"Overmare... I guess I'll never get to say goodbye to her..." Apple saw that her terminal was still on, normally she wouldn't snoop but she was as rather nosy filly .

(Apple clicked her hoof to the keyboard and  ejected a holotape from the Overmare's office terminal)

"What in the seven?... a holotape? " she wondered if it was a goodbye from the Overmare.

"Overmare what could you be up to?" Apple noticed the holotape port in the side of her pipbuck, she put the holotape in .

(The holotape started to play)

"Overmare's log, or should I say, direct communication. Because whoever is listening to this had the moxy to try to find out where I've gone." It paused for a moment.

"But I'm glad you did. Truth is, I need your help. I've been given a task, and... I've decided to break protocol and tell you what it is. Because If there's one thing I've learned in these past few years, it's that we need to rely on each other." It paused for a moment.

"There were three active mega spell silos in Virgineigh before the Balefire Bombs fell. They blew up the Equestria before. We can't let it happen again. So we've got to locate and secure all of the silos, or die trying. Hopefully the former. Hmph." It paused for a moment.

"But it's been twenty-five years. I just don't know what we're going to find out there. Or where to start... My directive was to go to the nearest population center and assess the situation. I'll set up a C.A.M.P. on the way once I get my bearings. Find me there." The holotape stopped.

(Apple felt confused as she tried to figure out and take in all the information she just heard.  Apple wasn't exactly sure what she could do to help her but if the Overmare needed her she would try her best to find her and help... not because of Stable tec but for the only grandmother she had... the pony who called her family. )

"Looks like we are going out there after all..."  she thought to herself.

(Apple started to wake out when she stopped at the Overmare's bedroom door, she had took the time to make her bed and straighten her room, maybe she should have cleaned up her room before as well but she didn't want the handy bots to have nothing to do for all time.)

"Wow Overmare you really need to relax... hehehe " Apple said with a giggle.

(She smiled at the handy bots that met her at the hatch to the stable door.)

"Goodbye handys...  I wish you all the best, look after the stable for everypony. " Apple hugged the sliver handy bot.

"Goodbye miss apple, and we will look after your sill bot... even if we think it's a waste of technology and fermented grains." Said the mr. handy.

(Apple smiled, she whipped her eyes.)

"I'll miss all of you so much " Apple tried not to cry as she walked thought the stable entrance and stepped out into the world beyond .

[End of holotape chapter one.]

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