#so i think spending a few months drawing nothing but my elden ring oc maybe changed my style a bit

[nerice]

jjks is so weird in my brain (personal bullshit incoming)

when it aired and i fell into it, i was at the height of my life. getting into digital art, vry specifically doing goretober half a year into my job where i also first injured my wrist. the next half year was absolute insanity hyperfixation the likes of which even i rarely reach, i still have a 1gb+ folder from my twitter ventures. but also by the second half,, too high on the feeling i got my entire friend group into it and it was such a bad experience that it ruined most of the back end for me. reading the manga in japanese kind of salvaged it [mfw i went thru 殺戮人形 knowing nothing but the chara design...] but all the writing it should have sparked fell flat bc i was feeling so awful still. a few months later i quit all art and writing to focus on thesis and mental health diagnoses, also known as 2022 aka the worst year of my life. during which the manga also descended into whatever the fuck culling game is. and now here we are, another year later, three years after the initial fall into [the best time of my life, outside of screenplay and black swan hell eras] finally adapting those most important chapters soon. but nothing feels the same. i cannot draw and barely write bc wrist explosion limping over the finish line of my last two work shifts next week so i can spend months/open ended on physical therapy and recovery. my mental health is the worst it's ever been two years out of [oc brain] that was on a fkcin 15yr streak........ and i am excited ! lowkey i think and hope watching Content get adapted will fix me ! maybe jjks can bookend the worst time of my life and we can neatly file it away and move on...... but after everything i dare not hope. i just desperately want to be able to at least sketch again by the time Those Episodes hit but i could not bear the fallout if that is not the case. i pray they air em before im in japan because if i am around that same friend group,,,,,,,,,, it's all so convoluted and rotten even though it should be the easiest and most exciting thing. :(

if all else fails, at least i still have the elden ring dlc upcoming