#so yeah it hurts and drives home that you're seen as worthless or expendable

[miqojak]

Can you explain more about your “do not reblog” rule? /gen

Do you not want reblogs of anything ever or just certain things? I try to check tags but tbh I’m still not really clear on the why so I do t know if I’m doing this right.

Hey, thanks for asking!

What it really boils down to is that it is incredibly hurtful when you've spent years looking to make contact in an RP community, and no one will reach out for RP, or show genuine interest in your OC... but complete strangers in the RP community will come by to take your OC aesthetic for their OC, and never interact otherwise, which is ultimately just using another person for your own gain.

If you like a character's aesthetic, and it's similar to your own OC's... why not go ahead and interact? (Send asks, or comment on posts or reblog writing or gposes with tags about how much you like the character, or whatever! ) Wouldn't that be a good first sign that your characters might get along, or have similar interests of some kind? It's a social hobby, after all, so you gotta talk to strangers eventually... so who better than someone whose OC blog intrigued you to begin with? If you like the aesthetic but not the OC... why not just follow the same resource blog they did, for more of the aesthetic you like?

An RP blog is essentially for helping to meet other RPers; it's like making a scrapbook about your character to show/advertise to others, to see if they might be interested in RP with your lil guy - "here's what they're like, are you interested?". But when people come by and only take from you, and don't engage in any other way, shape, or form? They don't reblog, or even hit the heart on your original works ( ie they literally just take aesthetic posts they could have gotten from the same resource blog that I did, so I get a notification, thinking it was someone actually interested in engaging in our shared, social hobby - but it's just someone who wants something from me) - or support you by maybe sharing your original work at all... well, it certainly makes *me* feel used, and it's both hurtful, and frustrating. It makes me feel like I'm just an object, and not a person behind a screen looking for contacts in a community that only seems to stop by when someone wants something; it makes me feel like people don't think about the person behind the screen.

That said, I explained it recently like the old "neighbor asking for a cup of sugar" thing - if I know you and we interact and I know you're not some stranger who only comes by to take from me what you will? Why wouldn't I be willing to share/ 'give you a cup of sugar'? There are definitely people I think are great on here, who support not only me, but so many others in the community, by sharing creative works and writing fun tags on them, etc. But if a complete stranger showed up at your home and didn't ask for a cup of sugar, but barged right in and started helping themselves to everything in your fridge... wouldn't you be upset in some manner? They didn't say hi, didn't introduce themselves... they didn't say anything at all, and you have no idea who this person is! You'd probably lock your door, and not open it to strangers anymore - plus, it's not like you wouldn't make them a sandwich if they were a friend in need, but it's off-putting to be used... and doubly so when you don't even know who this person is.

I've lost a lot of my desire to try and be active, myself, because no one seems to reach out for RP anymore (all my longterm RP friends from years ago have quit RP over the last few years because of this - they were always the ones putting in all the effort with reaching out to new contacts - among a handful of other reasons), and as a fellow anxious person... you just gotta bite the bullet and be social at times if you want RP, you can't hide behind social anxiety in a social hobby (don't I know it). You can't just hope it falls in your lap. But between being regularly ghosted by people (who seem to only want ERP, and disappear when it doesn't happen) - and Tumblr mostly just being a hurtful experience... I've largely gone inactive, and try to share others' stuff when I do log on.

Tl;dr If the only thing people want is aesthetic posts... why not just follow the same resource blogs - why use the blog of someone trying to make connections? If they want to RP, or establish some sort of connection by mutually sharing each other's creative works, and sending asks and doing tag games, etc. - (ie if they want to establish a rapport) then that's amazing! Full steam ahead.

But it hurts, and ultimately makes me feel pretty worthless when I love a character I've worked hard on and tried for years to establish, and then most notifications are just another name of a stranger who only comes by to take aesthetic posts they could have gotten anywhere else.

Sorry for being long-winded - the ADHD contributes to that, but I've also had some people be incredibly entitled and cruel when I was blocking them, and pointed out to them that the only notifications I had from them for many months was them simply taking aesthetic posts, and never interacting otherwise... as if they felt entitled to pump my blog for their own OC's aesthetic (or its someone who follows me and just instantly starts combing my blog for their OC's aesthetic... conveniently skipping anything that's actually original work I spent time creating) - so I tend to overexplain, these days, so it's clear that it comes from a place of hurt, and trying to protect myself and cultivate a healthier circle of people around me... its not out of malice, or grudges, etc.