#somebody save everyone from me bc I will start massacring

[quyqyart]

This scene suffered from the pace being rushed which makes it hard to understand what Kabru is going on about if you didn't piece together the story through his POV. This is unfortunate cuz this moment is so realistically messy yet is the satisfying moment when the leading and supporting characters finally come into an understanding.

Kabru's antagonism makes perfect sense only if the readers remove themselves from their favoritism to Laios.

I see some confusion over why he thinks Laios is an enemy of humanity. Firstly, Laios thinks the things that killed all of his family and community are cool. This alone to me is at least sympathetic enough to see why he harbors subconscious prejudice against Laios. It doesn't make him right, but it's logical enough.

Secondly, yeah he's in over his head with his own judgment and thinks too highly of his own motive*. Thirdly, he's bit of a dick to Laios I won't even lie here (I do blame stress for the punch) . But like everyone except Falin is a fucking dick to Laios when you think about it.

And to be completely fair, ever since he knew of Laios' interest till even here still Kabru's been flip-flopping between "This man might save us all" and "He would choose monsters over humanity, we are doomed if he got the power which he is very close to getting rn, let kill him". It's not like he went 100% antagonistic.

This is getting long so,,,My breakdown of Kabru's pov, which explains his actions regarding Laios, under the readmore.

Let see thru Kabru's pov in chronological order:

Taking it from the start, Kabru has a bit of a savior complex no doubt stems from his survival guilt. Being the sole survivor of a massacre by monsters it's understandable he feel that it's his duty to find out why it happened and prevent it from happening again. We saw him and his crew talking shit about how good he is at reading people, and he totally gonna topple the greedy governor and save this place. Then they continuously got their asses handed to them by monsters cuz while Kabru read people well, he can't handle monsters. So yeah he admitted deep down he's not making it to the deep.

So now Kabru wants to find someone he can trust to save the island. He got his eyes on Laios bc he can't read him. Laios is a damn good dungeon explorer and isn't motivated by greed while almost everyone is, so what gives?

Here we see Kabru reveals he had failed to get Laios attention while trying to get to know his mysterious party. This is my interpretation only but he was definitely pissed about it too. Kabru is a bit over his head about his own charm so Laios ignoring him probably stunk.

Even after knowing Laios' special interest he was like "huh so that's how he is" until the matter of dungeon master's power come up and it occurred to him "wait would this guy who loves monsters use the power to make the dungeon full of powerful monsters that will destroy people?" He definitely did not decide Laios was humanity emeny right there, it's a possibility. As much as Laios pulling through and save the island from becoming another Utaya tragedy is a possibility.

Here, we see him desperately clinging to the former possibility until the latter took over "It's too late to get through to him i have to kill him." But did it take over? In that panic, his true feeling comes out. He still wants to understand Laios as a person, he still wants to believe in Laios after all.

Wgile it's easy to get pissed at Kabru just as we did the the Shuro/Toshiro vs Laios fight scene. Fellow autistics know how much it fucking hurt to get your social ineptitude get dragged out like that. I do think Kabru's rant here is good for Laios. This is the first time somebody has admitted to want to get to know why he like monsters despite them hating the creatures. It's not the solidarity like what he and his sister has, but it's not total rejection. Again, his own party members who care about him want nothing to do with his interest (minus Senshi)

Tldr: Kabru's alright and his actions make complete sense even if it's flawed

[common-blackbird]

The Poppy War thoughts

Eversince i’ve played dragon age, i wanted more of fantasy (and just couldn’t finish stolen throne... i just... i’m struggling) so i read the poppy war bc i saw some good reviews about it.

The only thing i knew about the book was that it has a strong anti-war message and it is based on opium wars & chinese mythology. (it has actually elements of any events of history of china combined).

Having binged it in 3 days, my thoughts are scattered, so if you’re reading this: i’m sorry. Everything i say is personal opinion that is open to changes bc this book really did hook me and despite my criticisms, it is good enough to read the sequels so overall i can already say that i really like it.

the shortest version of my thoughts on the book is that it has a good theme with a solid execution, but the characters leave me wanting.

THE PROS

Just like any anti-war themed story, this one has a lot of war in it. But instead of going full-on “war is bad”, the characters here are trained for it and while not explicitly want it, they do not condone it. In fact, the only one who is supposed to frown at the senselessness of the war is the reader themselves with some warnings from 2 characters that serve as a call of moral conscience. But it doesn’t start with the war at all. It starts with an underdog characters making her way up through ranks by her willpower. While she’s exceptionally smart, that doesn’t make her special, and she faces a fair share of failures. She gets into a prestige academy made for training generals and such, but gets pulled into mystical world of shamanism, walking a thin line between godlike powers and madness as well as controlled use of and addiction to opium. Once we discover the gods, the plot turns to war and the main character is a part of it. And this is where the interesting theme comes in as well as world-building.

There are three main powers at play + one that doesn’t directly appear in the story:  the Nikara empire (imagine china), The Mugen Federation (imagine imperial Japan) and the Island of Speer (the warrior people that got enslaved by nikara empire).

From the start there’s mention of genocide of speerling people and the question of why that happened. There are three culprits: the Mugen Federation that commited the genocide; the Nikara Empire that sacrificed and let the Island of Speer fall under the hands of the mugen, so that the westerners would get involved; the Speerling queen that many years ago allowed the Speer island fall under Nikara and get enslaved which, at the very end, resulted in this tragedy.

And while at first it really seems a simple answer of innocence of the Speerling, the doubt is created by the lore: there are gods at play, and the speerling worship one of the most violent gods of all: the god of rage and vengance and fire. A lot of times, the plot suggests that the genocide is the final result of the greediness of gods and the lines between right and wrong become very blurred.

The main question this book posed was: would you, as a leader of your people, take responsibilty and act in the interests of your people and unleash the terrible power that would create hell on earth, or would you, as a human with an access to terrible power, act morally and sacrifice your own people to the most awful suffering imaginable to prevent the hell on earth?

There is no right choice: you’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.

This is what keeps you going throughout this book. What will the choice be? There are plenty of hints at what is the right choice, and you’re just watching a disaster in the making, which is pretty enjoyable and incredibly frustrating.

Also, there is a gore scene that is so well written that it makes you sick to your stomach. You can’t believe people are capable of that. And yet they are.

Another thing that i didn’t expect but am not against is that, instead of humanizing the enemy, you get one, maybe two hints that the enemy is just a human being. But in general, the enemy is so abstract you feel nothing for them and they commit such atrocities you really don’t want to feel anything for them. It gives a sense of false security in the protagonist’s higher moral ground and makes their choices all the more harder.

The plot moves at a very fast pace which makes the book addicting. the flow of time is quick, there’s no rest, things are happening one after another, you start forgetting you started with the school setting bc you’ve ended up with sieges, massacres, imprisonments and godly realms.

Speaking of godly realms, they are interesting, though scarce, but the way they influence the mortal realm makes you believe in the cruelty and the danger of gods, regardless of what they are. Combination of accessing godly powers with opium was a great choice bc shamaism is often discarded as simply being high. The use of opium in the story was amazing: it is a drug, it is an blessing, it is an instrument, it is a torture device. The gods are deeply intertwined with disasters, and the question of power and suffering gets into frontline because them. It’s mystic, mysterious and hooks you up.

THE CONS: The characters. the characters aren’t much fleshed out and are lacking dynamics between each other, and the main character lacks credibility of her choices.

The main character is a war orphan who hated her foster family as much as they hated her and she made her way to prestige academy. there are 4 important people that become important for her during the book that she meets in the academy: the eccentric teacher, the famous perfect student that is the last of the speerling race, her nemesis and rival rich guy and her very smart friend.

Everyone else is pretty much a plot device. The problem is that, while the main character is interesting in the part of the book where she’s learning and making her way in the academy, she becomes uninteresting when the war starts. In academy she fails a lot, she needs to fight for herself and find alternative ways when everyone is against her. She’s so active. She starts learning bizzare things and is entering the realm of gods that is extremely challenging for her practical mindset. It is so satisfying to read. But once that is over, she becomes a pretty much passive character that observes what is happening around her and rarely does anything of significance until the very end. What really bugged me was that (SPOILER:) She is said to be another speerling, and at one point that is still only a possibility that everyone believes, but does not need to be true, especially since no one made the connection at all, and she herself doesn’t have any connection to the culture, but in the end she becomes radically invested in it for no apparent reason. Her reccuring theme in the beginning is that she doesn’t belong anywhere, but that is, after a while, just discarded theme, bc suddenly, with no apparent reason, she’s all in for a culture she doesn’t know much about.

Her choices would have made more sense if her questioning and regrets were slowly waning as the story progresses. this is about having no choice. This is about bitterness creeping upon you until you see there’s no other answer but the wrong choice. But turns out, she just suddenly feels angry, suddenly feels regret, but suddenly she doesn’t care, but suddenly she does, and that is a recurring cycle. It would have and does make sense for one other character, who in fact did go through a lifetime of suffering and is simply so bitter that everything he does he does out of desperation and spite without making you lose your trust in his humanity. It’s a tragic story. The main character? The amount of empathy she has, second thoughts before she chooses, it just doesn’t make sense that she chooses the same thing over and over. Especially with everything she’s seen. But whatevs. That was my biggest issues. Even knowing she’s going to always make the wrong choice, it could have been more satisfying. It’s obviously intended to make her gradually enraged, but she’s so much in her spectator role, there is no feeling of actual rage from her.

Another thing that makes it inconvincing is that i experience no real loss from her. She had nothing to lose. The first person she’s supposed to lose was the nemesis rich guy whom she regretted that they weren’t friends bc they really function good. Turns out he has a fake death - is actually alive, and not so wounded bc of mysterious reasons. Then he dies again (which will inevitably result in another fake death bc the explanation for the first fake death was left hanging), and her belief in his certain death made her rage turn towards, not the enemy, but her own comander/perfect student genocide survivor, who decided to rather save an enemy soldier for questioning than let her save her comrade.

Then there was the massacre scene where she could have lost her dearest academy genius friend, but it turned out he was a survivor, so again, lot of traumatic scenes for her, but she still lost only the nemesis guy.

Lastly, she loses her commander/perfect student genocide survivor, whom she most of the time didn’t agree with, but did come to empathize  with him bc his story is so tragic, he wants to die. He dies a meaningful death for himself, destroying his own enemy, and that is what hits her the most. Probably bc she felt they were kin by then.

Lastly, her relationship with her teacher is just a moral compass of what she should do, but it’s the only convincing character dynamic that makes her chose wrong, bc she can’t understand him and he’s really bad at explaining things.

OTHER POINTS

the writing style... i like how it’s ambiguous: no clear descriptions, fast pacing, cut-to-the-chase dialogues. On the other hand, there are so many little things that irk me. Most of all is that many times things are mentioned and then explained. like, somebody says an unexpected thing in a dialogue and then the narrative shortly explains the change of stance.

To make an example, there’s plenty of description of what happened after the bad choice, but not once there’s description of what it felt like when what she was warned about happened to her. that happens only after it’s mention in a dialogue. A banal thougth out example: the god tells protagonist she will burn endlessly. Shit happens. We see the world. She meets comrades. She gets judged for her actions. She’s a little sad, a little angry, a little relieved. Then she’s chatting with a guy and he asks her why she needs drugs so much. She answers that needs to rest. And then the narrative starts that ooooh, the god never left her and keeps screaming in her head (even if we don’t see any consequences of her having a god in her head), that she’s constantly in pain and can’t stop burning (even though we are reading from her POV and see nothing that indicates that). I know i should just gloss over it, but i’m so.. needlessly critical, ignore me.

(also there’s a supposed rivalry between her and the guy who’s helping her for the good graces of the commander/perfect student genocide survivor, even though at the time she’s angry at the commander and the book ends with her and the helping guy making  a pact and setting aside the supposed rivalry bc the commander is dead. What did i miss. Where was this rivalry? Why does it end with that???)

ALL IN ALL

it’s a compelling story that lacks a lot in some prospects, but the main theme really gets you going. There is bloodspilling, no actual romance, gore, not-very-convincing friendships, monstrous enemies who are wronged, moraly grey protagonists, grim outcomes and fast pace.