#someday i will make a post about sam+dean+john faith and dean's heart issues and how sam essentially leads him to

[suncaptor]

What about JDM makes people go insane.

[becauseyouremybigbrother]

Headcanon - Sex & Shipping

(This is a LONG and pointless post for most people, so don’t bother reading unless you’re interested in shipping with Sammy in any verse outside of Wincest. Even then, I just wanted to get it written out for myself, and like, the two other people who are interested.)

(Main Verse related only; Wincest verses are separate entities) 

If there’s one thing John Winchester did not raise his little girl to be, it was a timid wallflower. Sam is confident in who she is (some might say too much so in the trouble it brings her at those times she refuses to listen to anyone else), and what she wants. That confidence has always guided her through life, from walking away from her family to go to college, believing she knew how best to stop Lilith, trusting that she would be strong enough to overpower Lucifer and throw herself into the pit, to releasing the Darkness in order to save her brother or promising a small group of refugees she and Dean would be able to find a way to save their world.

As protective as her father and older brother were of her when she was a young woman, it never precluded John from teaching his daughter from a very early age the most important lesson: How to deal with people who tried to take something to which she didn’t give them permission. When she was seven, she was suspended her first day at a new school for giving a nine-year old boy a black eye because he’d tried to kiss her. That was when John had to teach her lesson number two: Don’t get caught. 

Having felt she never needed her father and brother’s protection led to a lot of her resentment when it came to the restrictions placed on her. She rebelled because she could; because she thought it proved something. Sometimes she got caught, and usually Dean paid the price for not being where he was supposed to be to protect her. Most of the time, she didn’t. She was smart, determined, and John had maybe taught his little girl how to be resourceful a little too well. She had sex for the first time when she was fifteen, about two hours before packing up and leaving that town behind for the next one (a good thing too, as it counts as her most awkward and uncomfortable experience since the boy had no idea what he was doing, and Sam really never, ever wanted to have to lay eyes on him again. Like, ever.) She’d planned that timing, though. Better for her father to never find out and end up blaming an innocent boy, who simply fell prey to Sam’s keener curiosity.

By college, the sex was far better. The guys knew what they were doing, and Sam knew what she wanted. More importantly, she was finally allowed to start letting sex and emotions intertwine with one another. She could let herself take the time to get to know someone, like how they made her laugh or made her feel when they were around, and actually start considering things like the future when it came to being with someone. Falling in love with Jesse had come almost too easily. Finally, Sam could let herself imagine a ‘someday’, with a home and a family of her own. Not a life on the road where everyone was suspect, and only her father and brother could be trusted, but a life where she had a special someone she could give all of her heart. She became a normal girl, who secretly waited for the moment when Jesse would propose to her.

But Azazel began the change to all of that the night he murdered Jesse.

Building a relationship with Sammy is heavily predicated on the point at which it happens in her life. So if you and your muse are interested in shipping with her, please keep the following points in mind. Sam’s vulnerability (ie, how alone she is at the time) plays heavily into how easily she will open up to trusting and giving herself to someone else.

ETA: You’re never going to hear Sam claim that she wishes she were more attractive or had a different nose or any other complaints about her looks. Sure, as a teenager she had issues with being too tall but even beyond the confidence she bears, Sam just doesn’t have time to worry about her looks. She knows she’s attractive, and that’s kind of where thoughts about it all end. There are monsters in the world who don’t care what you look like before they kill you, so Sam just can’t be bothered with that kind of stuff. And she’s just as confident in her sexuality. She’ll make the first move without hesitation if she gets the sense that the other party is just as interested. Her default is dominant and aggressive, particularly throughout the earlier seasons. This ends up passing quite a bit by Season 8. The more life beats her down, the more hits she takes to her heart, the more out of control she feels with everything around her, the more Sam longs for someone else to take the wheel for a time. To hold her, lie to her that everything is going to work out, and just let her rest for a little bit.

Pre-college - Don’t plan on it lasting beyond the moment her father moves them on to the next town. Though I suppose someone has to help her experience her first school dance.

College years - Very open and easy time period. Sam has rose-colored glasses when it comes to what the future holds for her. She can even be caught looking through the occasional bridal magazine. She’s imagined names for her future children. Picked out the home she wants to live in with her husband over in Sausalito (it has a beautiful view of the Bay, and just a quick drive over the Golden Gate to the law firm where she’ll one day work).

Season 1-Season 2: Heaven and Hell haven’t beaten her down yet. Sam still holds onto the belief that once she and Dean track down and kill the yellow-eyed demon, a normal life is still possible. Though Jesse’s loss lingers, she’s open to loving someone again. She still wants to get married, have children---things she’ll never admit to her brother. But she’s certain that once their family gets the revenge they’ve been searching for all of her life, they can both move forward.

Season 3: Sam’s focus is saving her brother. She can’t see much beyond that, so one night stands are preferable to letting anyone else get close. The Trickster is the first person to hone in and point out that Dean is her weakness. Unfortunately, the cruelty of the lesson detracts from the importance of the vulnerability losing Dean creates for Sam---the Trickster never shows her how to deal with it. Taught with a bit more care, Season 4 might’ve gone very differently.

Pre-Season 4-Season 5: The four months that Dean spends in Hell are exactly what the Trickster warned her about. Sam is alone, and vulnerable, and Ruby takes advantage of that to a degree that no one expects. Unlike her brother, Sam isn’t afraid of being alone. But being on her own is when Sam’s emotions tend to drive her. When the Trickster kills Dean, Sam’s anger and need for revenge drives her to murder a man with the face of her surrogate father. She may have convinced herself it was the Trickster, but it was her anger that drove her to murder a man who looked and behaved just like Bobby. 

Post-Season 5-mid-Season 6: Ah, soulless!Sam. You are totally welcome to give this one a try. After all, she’s open to sex with just about anyone as long as it promises to be a good time. 

Mid-Season 6-Season 7: She’s a bit of a head case. Okay, she’s a total head case, and there are monsters who eat people. She doesn’t even want to have sex with you because YOU COULD BE A LEVIATHAN. Or the Devil. She’s not keen on either.

Post Season 7-Pre-Season 8: Sam is on her own, and vulnerable and open to her emotions once again. Unlike the prior times she lost Dean (first to the Trickster, and then to Hell), Sam isn’t being guided by anger or revenge. She’s lost, directionless, and simply searching for an anchor. The idea of loving someone terrifies her, but she literally has nothing and no one left. She’s about as vulnerable as she’s ever been for the year that Dean spends in Purgatory, and maybe its to her credit she no longer hunts, instead allowing her focus and emotions to turn to normal pursuits. An excellent time for ships outside of the SPN fandom.

Season 8-Season 9: Possibly the most strenuous and difficult years of the siblings’ relationship. Dean begins putting his faith and trust in monsters over his own sister because she has failed him one too many times. Sam, having trouble acknowledging her own culpability in the problems between them, lashes out irrationally in return. She’s not in a good head space, and likely any relationship she attempted during these years would turn toxic. Also, there’s the whole angel inside of her thing for a good portion of it. Three’s a crowd, unless you’re good with poly. ;)

S10-onward: Chances of a romantic relationship with Sam in later seasons are extremely rare. Not impossible, just unlikely. One night stands are pretty much her go-to by this point. Ships happening at this time of her life are not to be taken lightly--if she lets her walls down enough for it to happen, its kind of a huge deal. Sam’s learned too many hard lessons about letting anyone close, about caring for someone, and then having their blood on her hands. Anyone who knows the Winchesters understand that getting too close doesn’t end well.

Most importantly, Sam’s let her brother down too many times, lost him too many times, hurt him with what she knows to be her own selfish choices. She never plans on making those mistakes again. She’ll burn the world down around them before ever letting her brother go without a fight again, and she never plans on letting Dean ever believe otherwise. Giving her heart to someone else in the midst of that? It would mean having to make an impossible choice. By refusing to give her heart, she never has to hurt someone by choosing her brother over them.  And as much as she’d like to believe that would never be a choice she’d have to make, Sam has accepted the truth. 

Winchesters don’t get happy endings.