#sometimes I read tooth rotting fluffy batfam fics and I cant help but think 'but this isn't how they are'

[redrobin-detective]

I have read a thousand fluffy, happy Batfam fics and I read one thousand more but when the happy sanitized fanon is put away and I really think of the characters, I can never believe it.

The Bats love each other, I honestly, truly believe each and every one of those weird, repressed assholes would die to save one another. But the day to day is hard. They’re not just a family, they’re coworkers and soldiers and enemies. Bruce doesn’t do normal and shows his love through control, paranoia and shared violence and he taught that to his children. The siblings never feel quite at ease around each other, too many betrayals, cutting words, stinging injuries. In the field, they are a well oiled machine, when they’re at home playing the part of a happy family, they can’t quite relax.

Dick is a demanding perfectionist who sometimes can’t separate himself the job. He’s burned bridges at some point with every family member and though he dearly loves them, sometimes being the happy, welcoming, forgiving big brother all the time to too many siblings is exhausting. It’s hard to keep so many different people happy at once so sometimes he just lets them go.

Jason never fully integrates back into the family. He doesn’t legally reclaim his name and return to his life, just keeps his head down and sticks to his turf in the alley. He’s simmered down a lot since his resurrection and can hold conversations with his so called family but it’s tense and soured by the past. He occasionally still murders and break B’s moral code but B is so tired of the fighting that they’re in a bit of a stalemate over it.

Tim has grown used to feeling like an outsider in the family. He stays out of obligation and because he has no one else left to turn to. Sometimes it feels like he’s just going through the motions of being a brother and son. He dreams about packing up and leaving but knows he never can. Is still bitter at the fallout of previously good relationships (Dick, Steph and B) and in general wary and untrusting of Jay and Dami. He wishes things could go back to how they were.

Cassandra has never truly understood the concept of a happy family. The Bats are comfortably familiar with their frequent brawls and generally being on edge around the other. To her, this is normal. That said, as much as she loves, she keeps her distance because its hard for her to deal with and express that love. She’ll spar and cuddle and smile and then disappear for months making it hard to the others to feel connected to her. She feels most comfortable alone.

Damian’s inferiority and superiority complex are at constant war with each other. He’s learned to see the error of his earlier thinking and realizes that everyone will always see him as an assassin. He hates how much he looks up to his older siblings, their skills and experience how easily they seem to have his father’s love. His pride prevents him from admitting this, opening up to them and instead perpetuates the cycle of insults and fighting.

There is love and connection in the Bat family but also cracks from hundreds of little interactions brought about by stress and pain and misery. When the stars are right and the moon is bright, they can come together and be a family. But it’s never the whole group and never for too long before uncertainty and fear creeps back in. In battle, they are an unstoppable force that works in tandem. Outside of costumes, just themselves, they are broken people awkwardly trying to hold together a facsimile family.