#sometimes im just not feeling it! but i can't exactly bail when i know someone regularly has suicidal thoughts or heavily disocciates

[saviourkingslut]

i should be getting paid for the number of times ive noted concerning things in my friend's thought patterns and behaviour that she didn't pick up on and neither did her therapist fr i feel like im doing half this woman's work sometimes

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Ostracized as usual Denise loudly tells every one she's making corn dogs and asks if they want some...

Then she asks Nathaniel in Spanish how many.

I'm in my room with my door shut and nothing but the air on... I'm not deaf and she opened my daughter's door to ask her and she rejected the offer.

But Denise is acting really cheerful like I knocked something loose other than her scalp loose.

I feel like it's fake but tree says i was going at least 60 mph and my very good quality glass screen protector cracked all the way across... And my phone screen was being weird after, showing green dots where i typed... Which isnt normal...

So like I mean i fucked her up... Like enough to do something to her brain? Or is it like dopamine and shit for pain still going in her chemical system?

I think it's fake... Idk... I don't trust her.

Tree says I fucked her up straight to her brain and knocked some tar loose.

I guess...

But it's weird... Cause she's never cheerful...

Like I'm waiting for us all to die. She could have some frontal lobe pressure that is really doing her a number though... Taking out that psycho sociopath shit She has usually.

That's probably it... If nothing else...

Oh they tell me she had tar injected up past her eye into her skull between her brain and skull... And it got knocked loose...

Well that is fucking weird.

She shouldn't be ostracizing me then! I think she's plotting...

She will be the happy one and I'll be the mean miserable one and so no one will mind if I go missing then she will go back to being psycho

Or she will be all "I kicked you out. Get out" but be all "no.not me.I'm the nice one. You have seen this"

Tar syndrome can't save us all.

Apparently she didn't even tell my Uncle Dad but i did. I wrote an email to him at that police station because i thought i was going to jail And I was not gonna have her go lie about that. Where I was or what i did. So i told him exactly in chronological order without many details exactly.

And I admitted to busting her head open.

Which tree posted and our replies.. And explanation of my adoptive father's existence.

But no way was she gonna go just tell her side. Sure to the cops fine. But not any where else. Not like I expected him to bail me out but I wanted him to know the truth and all that. Because she lies about Everything.

And i figured she would lie about where I was or what happened. Because i didn't know what was going on to be honest and i was all "man I'm fucking going to jail cause she's fucking bleeding because I couldn't control myself and did what I wanted to do for so fucking long"

It was worth one night in jail no charges. You know what i mean? Like just one. Then like "you know what? Forget about it my husband said this was bad to press charges on my kid" type shit

Like "drunk tank me" then let me go.

It was hot in the truck and I wanted to go sit in the shade on the sidewalk but i didn't trust her she got Nathaniel to give me a ride and i was all this bitch is gonna leave my ass stranded the first step I make out this truck.

Because that was what she wanted in the first place!

What the fuck. Its not the first time she's pulled over in that exact spot but before i told her i would get out and she was all "forget it" and I told her "you do that again and I'm gonna beat your ass"

She laughed in my face

And well I pounded her head in enough, apparently.

Excuse me but I get fucking mail on Monday even if it's a holiday. The fucking bitch just took me on Saturday

What does she think? The tooth fairy brought it?!?!

Just goddamed already.

A fact is a fucking fact. I loose my goddamed shit sometimes.

I don't even remember even talking to her. I just remembered like next thing I knew her hair was in my hand and I was all ... Wait what am I doing? Yes I want to do this and I used both hands to yank the shit out of it. 2x

The 2nd time because i could. Because she really tried to hit me! Ugh.

The 3rd time.. Like i knew the second she pulled out from the stop when she told me to,get the fuck out she was taking me to the police station and that is why i pulled her hair

Cause I was like bitch.

Then the 3rd time I planned that... I was gonna make it good if she turned on that street... But I didn't know what my brain knew subconsciously because I was all hey body what are you doing? Cell phone Stabbing her skull?! Not what I had planned but okay! Sure why not.

Then i was all fucking damit it i broke my nail. This is bad. I shouldn't did that plus she was bleeding allover the place and i was all this is it

I can't even pretend I didn't do it. Its too late

I couldn't lie my way out if I tried. I didn't feel bad. I didn't feel scared. I didn't fucking care any more

I was pissed at myself because my kid was gonna be stuck without a mom. Even temporary. Just for a night.

That's why I told my Uncle Dad. Like I said I wasn't looking for bail. But I knew he would want the truth and he always told me to tell it.

So even if I wasn't sorry I still had to admit what I did, for my kid. He always told me that. "Just tell the truth even if you're not sorry. Even if you're proud"

"But doesn't that prove guilt in the eyes of the law?"

"It doesn't matter"

He'd yell... 'Does this look like court? I'll get you a lawyer!' Cause I'd ramp up a huge thing But... The end of the game..

Just tell the truth.

That's what I learned from him.

Maybe my kid would be super pissed and I would deserve her hate at me for not caring about her and being stupid for 10 minutes.

Because it was. It was stupid.

And I'm lucky she didn't press charges and the only reason she didn't is because she's a horrible person and did horrible shit to me as a kid and my Uncle Dad always has taken my side Because I am honest and good and he has always told her she will find a new place to live if she ever presses charges on his kids.

Thats why I got him this shirt for father's day which I already gave him

2..

But yeah my kid would beat my ass if my Uncle didn't have that threat on Denise.

And I would deserved it.

So y'all people fucking around. I'm not a hypocrite. I know what I deserve for what I did.

I know it wasn't right

I owned up to it and I was ready to accept the punishment although I didn't want to. If she chose to, I had no other choice

She was dripping blood all over her shirt at s very rapid pace and she should have gotten stitches.

I feel kinda bad that she didn't. But she chose to lie and hide what really happened.

No one should be treated like she was.

If you are in a relationship like she is

A family like she is

A home she is

You should leave.

I don't say that because i hate her

I say that because we abuse her.

She abuses us. So, we eye for an eye and abuse her back.

So watching that video with no other information. Anyone in a relationship like that should leave.

Y'all know me and our history and so it's different

But no back story and out of context.. It was out of control and could be manifested into a different kind of tale.

And most people in the world shouldn't be treated like she was

If I was her and I was someone else that was say a boyfriend not DNA4U approved or stranger... I would thrown me out of the car, too. And I have, in the past.

So out of context what she did, driving to the police station... Was kinda the right thing to do but I beat her ass and that part is usually deserted but Jack called ahead because he knew I was hitting her and he knew in ESP connection what she was planning. Just as i did.

It is what caused her head to bleed. Like I said I planned it.

She should had went to a gas station or other public places that would been safer ... Especially how that police department is situated.

The back door is open. Not the front. But Jack sent someone out because he knew.

So... If any of you are in that situation you should press charges.

Next time they could kill you

I blacked out. Had she not been driving, i may had killed her.

Im being honest.